I’m sure it’s just a routine formality that the White House Correspondents Association invites every president, every year to attend their annual dinner, only this year the corpulent orange pedophile has accepted the invitation, and has of course turned it into a notable accomplishment. It’s not. But still…this man suffers from a tragic metastatic cancer of the narcissism gland.

I have doubts that many of these “Correspondents” now admit that | am truly one of the Greatest Presidents in the History of our Country, the G.O.A.T., according to many, but now that he has packed the White House press room with toadies from the fringes of “journalism”, he might just have a few more supporters in attendance. I will be disappointed if the real journalists in the room don’t turn it into a roast. Ah, screw it, I expect to be disappointed and for this to be nothing but an exercise in applied sycophancy. The media sucks.

He even expects the food to be the GREATEST, HOTTEST, and MOST SPECTACULAR? Serve him cold, bland porridge, and dump it in his lap.

The United States is going to distinguish itself historically.

We’ve already had our plague years but maybe we can do it again, and this time our tyrant will succumb. Then we can take over the Delian League/NATO and turn it into our personal empire before a more powerful nation to the West stomps on us. The future is bright!

You don’t support ICE or join the Republican party unless you’re afraid. Enjoy this collection of stories of chickenshit conservatives.

In the latest installment of “Immigration and Customs Enforcement thugs are big babies,” Oregon Public Radio obtained some incredibly distressing audio of an armed ICE agent—safely ensconced in an unmarked vehicle—who called 911 in October 2025 because he was being followed by a kid on an e-bike.

Yes, really.

But the problem here isn’t just that ICE agent Israel D. Hernandez was apparently so freaked out by a child biking near his car that he felt it warranted an emergency police response.

The real problem is that Hernandez told the 911 operator, “I need someone here now, or else I’m going to have to shoot this kid.”

Hernandez even pulled his service weapon out of the central console so he could be locked and loaded to protect himself from the child.

Dude, you know you could have just, like, sped up, right? You’re in a car, the kid is on a bike.

But according to Hernandez, the kid came up to his window and perhaps even broke one of the vehicle’s mirrors, so he told the dispatcher, “I’m going to have to act on this kid right now.”

I think it would be neat to have an e-bike, except that they’re only useable for about 6 months out of the year here, unless you like freezing your face off. The weather does not discourage Minnesotans in other ways, though.

In December, they begged Minneapolis police and the Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office to help them, claiming that “we only have a few officers but we have 60 to 70 agitators fighting them.”

Sounds serious!

Except what really happened was that people stood around yelling at ICE and throwing some snowballs while the agents violently detained a woman, dragging her on the icy ground on her stomach. Local law enforcement dutifully arrived, only to say that there were no “life-safety conditions” requiring a response and took off after 10 minutes.

None of this is surprising, since they’re led by a demented coward, a guy who never served and doesn’t respect the military, but was willing to send bombs and missiles against Iranian targets. And then wouldn’t even answer questions about his responsibilities!

President Trump did not answer shouted questions on Iran when he returned to Washington tonight. He did comment on new statues that have been installed in the Rose Garden, telling reporters, “Unbelievable statues.”

He’s always on the lookout for distractions from the hard questions.

I don’t care about his statues. I hope they’re knocked down and hauled to a garbage dump the instant he’s out of office, may that day arrive soon.

Germans are masters of the biting parade float.

How do they make those things? We need to import some German artisans to teach us the skill.

Kevin O’Leary is a Canadian. Can we put him in a concentration camp?

(Also, that chyron gives me the heebie-jeebies.)

Where are the hotbeds of Christian Nationalism? Who is causing all the problems? One approach is to map out the states with the highest density of right-wing Christian weirdos.

That doesn’t suggest any immediate explanations. My first thought was that maybe there is a correlation with poverty.

Nope, that isn’t it.

But then I noticed that Minnesota is always an exception compared to neighboring states. And that Washington, where I was born and grew up, is always on the side of right.

The correlation is clear: I, personally, am a benign influence on any state where I live.

I thought about leasing my presence to any state that wants to join the progressive future, but I had to nix that plan when I realized I might have to move to Arkansas or West Virginia.

ICE is spending hundreds of millions of dollars to buy up industrial warehouses all around the country. These are planned concentration camps.

Among the proposals for these camps is the construction of biohazard incinerators.

The one in Minnesota, in Shakopee, has been blocked so far by community activism. That one was a bit surprising: Shakopee is mainly known for Valleyfair, a seasonal amusement park, and the Minnesota Renaissance Fair. It would have kind of wrecked the family weekend if the kids had to deal with smoke from the crematorium drifting over the celebration.

We’re one short step away from building ICE death camps.

I got up this morning, checked the news, and saw this awful face staring out at me. Auggh.

Plumbing the Epstein files is like diving into a sewer. Another name that keeps coming up is Ken Starr, the evil prude who prosecuted Bill Clinton, and became good buddies with Epstein.

Starr, who died in 2022, was a close personal friend and professional contact of Epstein, and was the key lawyer who helped Epstein clinch a plea agreement in 2008, which is how Epstein avoided federal sex-trafficking charges and served a reduced sentence.

On 23 August 2018, Epstein appeared to ask Starr about a report that was to be released about Kavanaugh and the Starr investigation. Starr responded: “No writing for now. The release should be a non-event for Brett. I get criticized in one portion of the report, but no finding of illegality.”

Too bad we can’t dig him up and kick his corpse around. But Brett Kavanaugh is still around, unfortunately, and his name gets thrown around in the Epstein files quite a bit.

Jeffrey Epstein sympathized with Brett Kavanaugh during the then-supreme court nominee’s contentious 2018 confirmation and even suggested Republicans should have been harder on Christine Blasey Ford, who had accused Kavanaugh of sexual assault.

Epstein called the pending judiciary hearing “a trap!”, adding “Iye [sic] been through many of these. MANY!! She will cry, make sordid allegations. Say she feels bullied, fearful, traumatized. Every thing bad in her life was s result of the rape attempt. Suffered anxiety! Her relationships with men etc. this is a very special skill set needed.”

His suggestion was that even more intense defamation of the victim was necessary. He identified with Kavanaugh, and said that he had also been through MANY!! similar accusations (I wonder why a serial rapist and pedophile had such frequent experiences…). One has to wonder about the similarities, though.

Those of us who opposed his nomination to the Supreme Court are further vindicated, at least. Now, how can we get this mini-Epstein thrown off the court for good?