Freethoughtblogs was first born out of conversations between myself and Ed Brayton in 2010-2011, when we were maximally disgusted with the direction the atheist movement was taking. So we set up our own little domain and tried to recruit fellow humanist/secular writers to fill up our pages. That was mostly successful, with a few setbacks now and then.

Then in 2020, Ed, who was suffering with a chronic illness, checked himself into a hospice and died, peacefully. He passed along all the logistical info for the website to me, we thought, so I had the account and password for our domain host, Bluehost. We kept cruising along.

Then Bluehost made a security enhancement: when I logged in, they would send a verification code to Ed, to make sure nothing underhanded was going on. Ed did not reply, for obvious reasons. So we can’t actually change anything about the domain, which again, was OK. We didn’t need to.

But then, Bluehost needed us to pay for their services. They sent notifications and bills to poor dear Ed, who didn’t care, and didn’t contact me in my dreams or anything, so those bills were unpaid. Ooops. Two weeks ago, they pulled the plug on freethoughtblogs.com. And no doubt sent an informative announcement to Ed, who didn’t notice.

So for the last two weeks, I’ve been shouting down phone lines and internet cables with the simple information that “ED IS DEAD, PLEASE UPDATE THE CONTACT INFORMATION AND FIX THE SITE”, and they would send me all these long legal forms that I would fill out with all the information that I had and send it back to them, and they would ignore me, and the next day I’d get into a conversation with a chatbot who would obliviously send me the same requests all over again.

Then this morning, a breakthrough. I didn’t try to update the information at all. I didn’t explain that Ed was dead. I just said, “I understand our bill is past due, here is my credit card number, can I please pay everything off?” and they said “Yes, we would be delighted to take your money” and they did, and they pushed a button, and our service is restored.

The only drawback is that freethoughtblogs is a company that is still officially owned by a ghost. No one cares as long as we the living pay the bills.

I paid up for five years in advance, so remind me in 2031 that I, or someone, needs to generously cough up a few bucks in Ed’s name.

For now, we can resume slapping words on a wall.

We’re cool, kids

I was sent a link to an intensely irritating article. It was by an old man complaining that his kids don’t email or call him enough, so he decided to test them.

Eleven weeks ago, I made a decision that felt both petty and necessary. I stopped being the one who always called first. No more Sunday morning check-ins, no more “just thinking of you” texts, no more being the family communication hub. I simply stopped reaching out to my three adult children and waited to see how long it would take them to notice.

The silence that followed taught me more about modern family dynamics than any parenting book ever could.

Then he’s annoyed about how long it took them to respond, and wasn’t sufficiently appeased when they did respond, and argues that all the previous communications were shallow and insincere.

Grow up, Grandpa.

I have three grown kids who are living their own busy lives.

My oldest has a stable job in a law firm and recently got a raise, but more importantly has a new girlfriend and a solid circle of friends. He’s probably the most sociable of my kids.

My second son is a major in the army, stationed in Korea, with a wife and child. He’s extremely busy and in a position of responsibility.

My daughter is working in academia…already I sympathize and know what she’s going through. She also has a young daughter.

I don’t want any of them to feel guilt for living their own lives, and they don’t need to call me. I’m just proud that they’ve grown up to be good people I can respect. I’m content. I think their mother and me, to a lesser extent, have succeeded at life.

My life is less interesting than theirs, and I also don’t need to call them and talk about my latest adventures (oh yeah, I fell down and concussed myself, not exactly entertaining news). I’m fine to occasionally learning that they’re happy. If they need help they can count on us.

But please, our reward is to know that they’re living well. That’s enough that we can pat ourselves on the back and tell ourselves that we did well, and that is immensely satisfying. We don’t need constant reassurance.

The evil cat is tormenting me. At night, she crawls around on my work desk, rearranging things. This morning, I came in to edit some student papers, and what do I find? She has flicked the computer mouse to the floor, where it shattered into 3 pieces.

I have managed to piece it back together into a clumsily functional unit, but it’s going to be struggle to click on those papers to put big red marks on them.

I’m somehow on this email list called “evolutionary leaders,” which is not what it sounds like. This is an organization led by a gang of New Age weirdos, and I only remain on it for the hilarity. I thought I’d share a little bit of my amusement.

This morning I received an announcement that this is the Year of the Fire Horse.

Why the “fire horse”? They don’t explain. I think they just liked the graphic.

They were announcing an event on February 20, which has historical precedent. They’ve done it before!

In 1987
Thousands gathered in sacred sites for the Harmonic Convergence, ushering in a planetary frequency shift.

In 2003
The Harmonic Concordance marked a cosmic alignment of healing and divine feminine resurgence.

You all remember those amazing events with all their wonderful consequences, right? Are you prepared for what will happen on the 20th of February?

Now in 2026
Harmonic Emergence is a planetary activation—an invitation to embody the coherence we’ve long cultivated and step into the living reality that many cultures have prophesied and named throughout centuries: the Unitive Age, The Golden Era, The Age of Aquarius, The Rainbow Prophecy, The Great Turning, The New Dawn, to name a few.

Harmonic Emergence completes the triad. It is the moment we stop preparing for the New Earth—and begin living it.

Simultaneously nebulous and dramatic–impressive. In case you want to participate, the instructions are even more vague.

In addition to attending the online global event we encourage you to amplify your impact locally in some way.
Host a circle or meditation with neighbors, friends, family
Gather around a bonfire, river, or sacred site
Create ceremony, blessing the land and waters
Offer poetry, prayer, silence, music, dance
Organize a potluck or celebration of joy, resilience, and emergence
Hold a moment of stillness with others in your town square or backyard
Bring your community into coherence with song or sacred sound
Anchor the transmission in your unique way

The important part, though, is attending the online global event, which means “sign up for our mailing list which we can monetize.” You could listen to these impressively vacuous people.

The Harmonic Emergence Experience is hosted by the Connection Field, and a luminous circle of musicians, mystics, artists, and planetary stewards—including Jude Currivan, Kristin Hoffmann, Amma Li Grace, Reverend Rhetta Morgan, Julie Krull, Wolf Martinez, Rev. Canon Charles P. Gibbs, Teresa Collins, Marshall Lefferts, Theo Grace, and other ceremonial leaders—this global online experience will be both poetic transmission and living ceremony, holding a field of resonance across time zones.

I think I’ll skip it. It is amazing how little these people will do while claiming to change the world.

I’m doing my part to support the Morris Theatre — I volunteered to serve on the board. That also means I’ll do occasional work in concessions or as a projectionist, so do stop by for a good movie sometime.

The theater is struggling — it’s losing money, I think about $2000 per year, and there are pending maintenance issues that need to be handled eventually. I’m happy to help out, and there are suggestions to increase community involvement, which I think is going to be the trick to eventually make it profitable.

I play no role in booking, unfortunately for me. There was some discussion at the meeting of how to get better movies shown. I am relieved to see that Melania is not on the list of future showings! There was a suggestion that we get more Christian movies, and get direct involvement from local pastors and congregations, but despite the fact that I think that would be a disaster that ultimately would kill the theater, I kept my face shut. I can be a team player, sometimes.

The problem with Christian movies is that are all bad fucking movies. Without even considering the ideology behind them, they are technically awful and intellectually stupid. They make Marvel movies look like works of genius. I saw God’s Not Dead at the Morris Theatre, and it made me ashamed to live in this community (it also made bank, disgracefully, so I can see where some would look on it as a good thing). If the theater resorted to exploiting dogma for profit, though, I’d have to resign.

No worries right now, though. I hope I can help make the theater a communal success that enriches the lives of our citizens.

Maybe you aren’t aware of our local biases, but Minnesotans do look down a bit on Wisconsinites (could the reverse also be true? Unthinkable). And then I hear that there have been anti-ICE protests in Green Bay, and that that’s where Alex Pretti was from, and suddenly I feel fellowship coming on.

Never thought I’d fight side by side with a cheesehead
How about with a fellow anti-fascist?
Aye, I could do that

That’s a relief, especially since my daughter has become a Wisconsonite. I can live with that.

The Super Bowl is coming up! This weekend, I think, but I haven’t been paying much attention.

I don’t like football, and I don’t think I’ve ever watched it for the sports. I’ve tuned in to the half-time show a few times, and it’s always disappointing — there’s a musical act drowning in a sea of ridiculous commercials, and from what little I’ve seen of broadcast television, a lot of those ads will be for gambling services. No thank you, I’m well informed on how probability works. The musical act this time around is Bad Bunny, and I’ve liked what I’ve heard of his music, but not enough to wade through all the Super Crap.

But Bad Bunny is Puerto Rican, so some people are furious that he’s featured on an all-American event — these are the same people so ignorant that they don’t realize that Puerto Rico is American. Apparently, we’ll have some counterprogramming available, from TPUSA, an anti-American white Christian nationalist organization.

Conservative advocacy group Turning Point USA has announced Kid Rock will headline its counterprogrammed halftime show, dubbed “The All-American Halftime Show,” when Bad Bunny takes the Apple Music Super Bowl Halftime Show stage on Sunday, Feb. 8.

Along with Kid Rock, The “one-of-a-kind streaming event,” which will celebrate “American faith, family, and freedom,” will feature performances from “Bottoms Up” singer Brantley Gilbert, “I Drive Your Truck” singer Lee Brice, and “I Hope” singer Gabby Barret, according to a press release.

Oh god. That sounds awful. Couldn’t they sign up Lee Greenwood, even? They’re all country-western singers, my least favorite music genre, I’ve never even heard of the songs they mentioned, and Kid Rock is a washed-up hack. Television is going to be more of a dead wasteland to me on Sunday than it usually is.

Hey, I’m a washed-up hack, too — maybe I should schedule a livestream for that hour. I promise I won’t try to sing.

I decided to search for my name in the Epstein files, expecting nothing, and I’m mentioned in a couple of email messages. The two mentions are kind of pathetic. I was briefly included in one of John Brockman’s email list along with a swarm of other people, so when he wrote to Epstein, my name got incidentally dragged in. Nothing specific. No flights to sex islands. No sexcapades. I was just briefly one of the “cool kids”.

Very briefly. For a short time, I was regularly getting missives from various members of the new atheists and the scientific publishing industry, which was nice to be part of a community (although it also left me uneasy). Then, suddenly, they stopped. I was suddenly removed from the list with no fanfare, no announcement, not even a courtesy warning…I think it’s because I criticized Richard Dawkins.

It turns out the “cool kids club” is fragile and doesn’t allow much introspection.

A couple more letters emerge out of the files, these all involve John Brockman. Brockman was the king of scientific publishing; I believe he was the agent for all of Richard Dawkins’ books, and he was the agent for my one book, he was Lawrence Krauss’s agent, etc.\. If you wanted to publish a science book, you had to make the pilgrimage to New York and kiss the feet of John Brockman, who would then negotiate with the publishers to get you a good deal. He had a lot of clout, clout that was invisible to most people.

So when a “rather nasty young woman” criticized Richard Dawkins, he went crying to John Brockman.

> From: Richard Dawkins < [ A
> Date: July 4, 2011 5:42:43 PM EDT
> To: John Brockman < [
> Subject: Lawrence
>
> John
–
> 1. I hope you recovered well from your operation.
>
> 2. There is a rather nasty young woman called Rebecca Watson, who seems to be running some
kind of a witch-hunt against Lawrence Krauss because of his defence of Jeffrey Epstein.
>
> http://skepchick.org/2011/04/lawrence-krauss-defends-a-sex-offender-embarrasses-scientists- everywhere/
>
> There are people on her blog talking about organising a walkout when Lawrence speaks at TAM in Las Vegas. I remember that you told me something of the circumstances of Jeffrey’s arrest, and that his case is not as black as painted. Might you possibly remind of it.
>
> Thanks (and greetings from Jackson Hole, Wyoming)
> Richard

Apparently, Brockman had been making up excuses for Epstein to his clients, and then those clients were echoing those excuses to justify their own ugly behavior. I have no idea what Dawkins thought Brockman could do to help. It was just an incestuous little clique.

This next one is very much inside baseball. I was on Scienceblogs, along with a lot of other very good people, which was founded by Adam Bly, who was also connected to Brockman. Bly got a lot of money from somewhere, I don’t know where, enough to launch a blog networks and a print magazine, but this email suggests to me that one of his sources was Jeffrey Epstein. Now I feel tainted.

The “PR crisis” he’s talking about was PepsiGate. We were all scientists and journalists at ScienceBlogs, except that Bly had suddenly brought a new blog into the network, a great big corporate advertisement for Pepsi disguised as a science blog. It’s true, it was a crisis: several people people yeeted right out of the network, citing ethical issues, and even more of us were yelling at Bly that this was wrong, you can’t do that, it’s blurring the boundary between objective science and shilling for a corporation. It was really, really ugly, and Bly just seemed oblivious to our concerns. (Note also: those of you who remember this event know that it’s also where another blog, ERV, went histrionically pro-Pepsi and lurched into the manosphere. It was a weird time.)

Bly was consulting a convicted pedophile during the whole episode. I suspect said pedophile had provided some degree of seed money for the science magazine, Seed.

To: Jeffrey Epstein[jeevacation@gmail com]
From: Adam Bly
Sent: Thur 7/812010 3:18:24 AM
Subject: Thurs.
I’m dealing with a PR crisis at ScienceBlogs (relating to a customer, PepsiCo) and haven’t left my office all day. I don’t know what tomorrow will look like Yet so wanted to give you a heads up in case I’m unable to leave the office again tomorrow.

I have copies of every issue of Seed stored in my house. I guess I won’t feel bad about throwing out the clutter at last.