Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
So that’s what the DI has been up to their “Biologic Institute”.
(You might have to know the LOLcats tradition to get the joke).
OK, I’m persuaded.
Something is wrong on the internet.
It should be “complexity”, not “purity”, and the arrow should point to the left. And obviously it should be arranged so that the biologist is on top — the others don’t have a cephalopod.
At last, military forces around the world have coordinated to take out a tyrannical dictator: we’ve invaded heaven. The dishonest leader of that country, with his scourges and plagues and cataclysms and arbitrary executions, has been deposed.
The denouement was a bit predictable, however.
In case you want to prepare your itinerary, you can now plan your eternity in Jesusland with a map of heaven.
I notice that the line to View the Damned is much longer than the line to sit in Jesus’ lap.
OK, this is a little rude, a bit funny, and a lot sacrilegious. I’m all for sacrilege, though, so I can’t condemn it too much.
Authorities were alerted after a parishoner heard “rustling and groaning” coming from inside the confession box and pulled back the curtains to reveal a goth-rock couple engaged in oral sex, ANSA said.
The agency said the pair — a 31-year-old laborer and a 32-year-old teacher — defended their conduct saying: “We are atheists and for us, having sex in church is like doing it any other place.”
Well, yes, but they are also human beings who live within a society which imposes some restrictions on your behavior — they shouldn’t be having sex in a time and place where the activities of others will be disturbed. You shouldn’t have sex in a confessional unless you can arrange it for a time when others will not be trying to use it, or when others will not be distracted by the growls and screams. And please, be courteous and clean up thoroughly after yourself. Leave the confessional as clean as you found it.
And look, if you aren’t discreet you’ll discombobulate some old celibate prude, and that’s not nice.
However, Bishop Antonio Lanfranchi of Cesena-Sarsina took said the couple’s behavior was “an outrage of notable proportions which bespeaks unutterable squalor.”
He added that a special ceremony would be held to purify the confession box.
What, bleach? You don’t need a useless ceremony, just a competent custodian.
It’s all rather futile. I suspect many confessionals have been used in such a profane and earthy manner, along with church balconies, graveyards, pulpits, pews, and let’s not even speculate about the possibilities with rosary beads.
I’ve always wanted a handy translation guide for Christian cliches.
