Of course, as everyone knows, all flies are geneticists and evolutionists, which kind of deflates the joke.
If flies were creationists
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Of course, as everyone knows, all flies are geneticists and evolutionists, which kind of deflates the joke.
Now, for the low, low price of $12.79, you can reserve a spot in heaven for yourself. This is a real business selling tickets, certificates and ID cards that claims to give you a direct line to an afterlife in paradise, with a money-back guarantee. You might think it’s just a gag…but it’s the same thing as Catholic indulgences, so it’s a gag with a little bite.
Oh, and if you don’t like the prospect of eternity in heaven, you can also reserve a spot in hell. That one probably has a stronger seal of theological approval.
One of those right-wing circle-jerks has been going on in Virginia, and the wingnuts are vying to see who can be holiest — it looks like a contest between Newt Gingrich and Mike Huckabee. It’s boring, except, I think, for the revelation about the nature of God.
Huckabee was not to be outdone in the use of hyperbole. The former Republican presidential candidate called the United States a “blessed” nation whose victory against the British in the Revolutionary War was “a miracle from God’s hand,” indeed the same type of miracle that defeated the legalization of gay marriage in California.
Since we know how both of those victories were accomplished, that tells us something about the nature of the agent behind them. Thanks to Mike Huckabee, we now know that God is a) French, and b) Mormon.
OK, who’s the wise guy who gave one of our creationists a writing gig at The Onion?
This is a song called Alone in the Universe, and it’s not what I thought it was about at first. I had to laugh.
It’s perfectly safe for work, unless you listen to the lyrics carefully.
I took the test, and it said,
You are a heady mix of the most evil Popes – Paul III, Benedict IX, Urban II and “Hitler’s Pope” Pius XII.
Oops. I knew I shouldn’t have admitted that vanilla was my favorite ice cream flavor in that last question.
That horrible little Christian parody site, Christwire, is attacking me! It’s terrible! They have publicly made this wicked accusation: “Professor Meyers and the Pharyngula peddle off tentacle anime pornography.” I am aghast. I would sue their slandering, sanctimonious little butts off, except, of course, that their claim is actually true, and I’m actually rather proud of my small role in promoting a universal interest in animal sex.
I’m therefore going to have to fire back directly by linking to them and hammering down their bandwidth. Go ahead, visit their site until you reduce it to a stammering series of 404 errors.
And right after you’ve choked them off, you can read these articles just to spite them.
The burden of bearing a massive penis
Evolution of the mammalian vagina
This is just wrong, and it’s going to mislead lots of messiahs. Nowadays, if you want to sell your body, the old robes and sandals gimmick won’t do the trick — Jesus really needs to be dressed in a tube top and hot pants.
It’s good to be told that we strike terror into the hearts of parody web sites everywhere. Let’s go stomp on their bandwidth some more.
