I am forming the Resistance Against Disney

I am dismayed. You may have heard the announcement of all the brand new content that will be coming to the Disney+ channel — Disney just dumped their entire agenda on everyone all at once — and rather than reacting with glee as most people seem to be doing, I see a desolation.

New shows in the Star Wars universe, including one featuring fan favorite characters Ahsoka Tano, were applauded by fans on social media during the announcement. Three additional Marvel series were revealed as well as a holiday special featuring the cast of “The Guardians of the Galaxy.”

Did no one learn a lesson from the Star Wars Holiday Special? It was only 42 years ago, and we’ve already forgotten the tragedy.

But this is the real horror.

Kareem Daniel, head of the company’s new media and entertainment distribution group, revealed that Disney+ will become home to 10 Marvel series, 10 Star Wars series, 15 Disney live-action, Disney Animation, and Pixar series and 15 Disney live action, Disney Animation, and Pixar films.

In the world of Star Wars, Disney+ will add two new series from Dave Filoni and Jon Favreau, the masterminds behind “The Mandalorian” — “The Rangers of the New Republic” and “Ahsoka.”

There will also be a series called “Lando” that follows the smooth-talking Lando Calrissian from the original trilogy of films as well as a series called “The Acolyte” which takes place during the final days of the High Republic. It has been dubbed a “mystery-thriller.”

These shows will join already announced series “Andor,” “Kenobi,” and the animated series “The Bad Batch.”

Kathleen Kennedy, the head of Lucasfilm, teased fans that Hayden Christensen will reprise his role as Darth Vader in “Kenobi” along with Ewan McGregor in the title role. She also clarified that the series, helmed by Deborah Chow, will take place 10 years after the events of “Revenge of the Sith.”

Oh my god.

Look, I enjoy a good Star War, or an occasional Superhero, and I’m happy for all you Marvel/Star Wars fans. I’m one of you. But this is like sitting down to a banquet and discovering that the gigantic table is covered with pies and gorgeous French pastries and baklava and chocolate and cake and caramel-coated sweetmeats and…no. That’s not right. Too much diversity. The table is covered with pies. Nothing but different kinds of pies.

I like pie, in moderation. A diet of nothing but pie is not good for you, though, and a table full of pies would just make me yearn for a salad. Maybe I’ll indulge in one slice of pie — that “Rogue Squadron” directed by Patty Jenkins is awfully tempting — but I’m actually repulsed by all these sequels and variations on the same old 40+ year old stories. Haven’t the kids done anything interesting lately? Are we to live forever in the reminiscences of boomers? How about something new?

We should also be concerned that this is coming from the Disney empire, which wants to gobble you up and lock you in and tie up intellectual property forever, and has managed to buy up most of the popular entertainment franchises and is well on their way to their goal: One Mouse to rule them all, One Mouse to find them, One Mouse to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. We’re going to be trapped in the house that Mickey built, and we’re going to be fed nothing but pies, sweet delicious pies, forever.

Anyway, I’m not subscribed to Disney+, and I’m not going to. I’m instead hoping that the monopoly will fuel a new pirate renaissance to deliver me a pie now and then, and that there will arise new, savory, healthy menus outside the walled garden of sugar.

Crashing. Crashing hard

I must have been wound up tight for the last three months, because after finishing grading yesterday, I thought I’d be able to relax and do some fun productive stuff. Nope. Brain melty. Joints achey. Everything hurts, but simultaneously so sluggish the pain can’t get too acute.

Oh well, the student complaints about their grades are already trickling in, so the tension will tighten back up to normal soon.

This is for real?

“A Recipe for Seduction,” a Lifetime Original mini-movie:

Hard to believe, but it is real, and just as tawdry as you might expect. It’s actually a maxi-commercial.

KFC had teamed up with Lifetime to deliver its own holiday mini-movie – “A Recipe for Seduction,” which will air on the Lifetime channel on Sunday.

The 15-minute mini-movie (or jumbo-commercial) features Mario Lopez, who has also starred in other Lifetime features such as “FelizNaviDAD.” Lopez will take on the role of Colonel Harland Sanders in the film.

It’s getting a lot of press, so it’s already successful…which means we can expect more cheesy depictions of company mascots appearing in bad miniature dramas. Look for the Borger King to appear in one of those Hallmark holiday movies with royalty, or the Little Caesars guy to show up on the History channel, or McDonald’s Grimace on Shudder.

Tragic trace fossil

I went out for an early morning walk today, and was brought up short by this reminder of the terrible Minnesota Pyroclastic Mud Flow of 1998…an entire family wiped out, leaving behind only these imprints from their flailing, panic-stricken limbs.

Maybe I’m projecting, though, with a lot of flailing going on here as I dread having to buckle down and finish all my grading. I think I can get it all done today if I push hard.

Progress!

This is a huge grading day — final grades are due on Wednesday. But I took a brief break this afternoon to take a few pictures on this frosty foggy day.

This is my favorite photo, though.

That’s a screenshot of the piece of the Canvas window for my cell biology class: usually, that big white space lists all the assignments awaiting grading. They’re done! Nothing left to grade! It hasn’t been that clear since mid-September!

Cell bio is done, two more classes to go (they were much smaller than cell, though, so they won’t take as much time.)