The jig is up

We’ve been found out. We’ve been trying to pass as simple, innocent, law-abiding members of society, but insiders have spilled the beans: we evilutionists are actually murderous, deranged terrorists.

Tens of thousands of French schools and universities have received copies of a Turkish book refuting Darwin’s theory of evolution and describing it as “the true source of terrorism.”

Oh, yeah. Much worse than fundamentalist Islam. And it’s more than just a vague accusation: they deliver the specifics.

The book features a photograph of the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center with the caption: “Those who perpetuate terror in the world are in fact Darwinists. Darwinism is the only philosophy that values and incites conflict.”

Those guys who hijacked the planes and flew them into buildings? All in the name of Darwin. It wasn’t the promise of virgins in the afterlife that got them motivated, the night before they were busily totting up all their relatives and estimating IBD coefficients, and blew themselves up in the name of inclusive fitness.

I’m sure all those madrassas have got copies of the Origin rather than the Koran; it’s such a great book for stirring up the bloodlust. Mohammed Atta was probably waving a copy around to rally his co-conspirators.

The source for all this astounding information was Harun Yahya, the Islamic creationist…would a creationist lie to you?

Julie Amero: Convicted? Are you kidding me?

Here’s a tragic story: a teacher convicted.

The six-person jury Friday … convicted Amero, 40, of Windham of four counts of risk of injury to a minor, or impairing the morals of a child. It took them less than two hours to decide the verdict. She faces a sentence of up to 40 years in prison.

Her crime? A computer in her classroom got caught in a porn spam pop-up loop (you know what they are, especially if you’re using that awful MS Internet Explorer—windows automatically open to spam sites as fast as you can close them). It’s easily fixed by using a decent browser or resetting the computer or even yanking the cord out of the wall, but Amero was apparently not very skilled with a computer, and was flustered as well. And for that, she may serve a few years in prison.

It is the 21st century, after all — lack of expertise with a computer is a crime, here in the future.

Oh, hang on—she isn’t being punished for computer illiteracy, it’s for impairing the morals of a child. That is, a bunch of seventh graders.

I know seventh graders. I remember being one. Middle school kids are a bunch of confused, sneaky, dirty-minded little bastards, and it would take a lot more than punching up internet porn to impair their morals; I suspect a fair number of the kids in that classroom knew more about the computer than Ms Amero, had been peeking at easily available porn before and after this event, and some of them are probably snickering about sending a teacher up the river for something they do routinely.

It takes a real prude to think flashing nude pictures at a seventh grader is going to corrupt them.

Let’s assume, though, that the entire classroom was occupied by naive little angels, perfect children with tousled curls who say their prayers at night and have been chemically neutered by their parents to suppress those burgeoning hormones. Then what? Do they get turned into sex maniacs by exposure to a bare breast or crotch? That’s an awfully low opinion of children these jurors had, or perhaps they just assumed a greater fragility than I can imagine.

This is a case of insane anti-porn hysteria, a grossly uninformed jury, and incompetence—the school district had let their filtering software lapse, and the police hadn’t even bothered to check the computer for adware. I am appalled that such a trivial error would have the consequence of sending someone to prison for years. This is not justice, this is lunacy.

I suggest that if the jurors really need a scapegoat for the uncontrolled spread of internet porn and the existence of sloppy and easily hijacked software, that it would be more appropriate (and perhaps just as injust) to send Bill Gates to jail.

A better evolution simulation

Reader Ted sent along a rebuttal to that pathetic evolution “simulation” written by a creationist—it’s a much better simulation that was presented at TAM5, called IC Evolver. The simulation plays a simple game that has a strategy that can be encoded in strings, and it starts with a set of randomized strategies, which it then uses and modifies, generation after generation, to maximize the score. Two cool things about it: one is that it modifies the strategy with common genetic operations, like insertions, deletions, point mutations, and recombination, and displays them graphically so you can see what’s happening. Another is that it tests for irreducible complexity—when there are 5 components, and removing any one of them reduces the score it can get to 0, it flags it.

You can see the scores steadily improve, and you can also see irreducible complexity evolve.

Turn it loose and let it run in the background. It works fairly quickly.

A great idea: blogroll amnesty day

Atrios has declared today to be Blogroll Amnesty Day, a time to purge those tired old links to sites that you’ve always got up on your page, but that maybe contain a few blogs you’ve grown tired of, or lacks the sites that you’ve been browsing recently. It’s a fine idea; if you feel like clearing boring ol’ Pharyngula off your list, go ahead, I won’t cry too much. It would be nice if you replaced it with some fresh new place that you like very much, of course.

I personally police my blogroll about once a week—I build it from the opml file from my newsreader, so I’m regularly adding new sites to it, and I’m fairly ruthless about deleting blogs that have no new content for 30 days.

In which I waffle undecidedly over the Democratic field

When will the Democrats learn? We are in an unpopular and failed war, and what a successful presidential candidate has to do is openly and uncompromisingly slam this unjust travesty and the incompetents who initiated it, yet Clinton and Edwards are enabling war fever, if not directly feeding it. Face it, war with Iran is off the table. It is not an option, unless we want to ruin our military and our economy; and the nuclear option is evil and unconscionable, and would utterly destroy our fast-fading moral standing. I wish we had a candidate who would just come out and say that.

I hate to say it, but Barack Obama seems to be one of the rare candidates thinking about doing something against the war. He could still win me over, especially if he continues to make specific proposals like that, but I’m still worried that any presidential race with him in it would turn into a “Who’s Holier?” piety contest, and we simply do not need more religiosity in American politics.

I might be willing to overlook that (for now) if we can just get a candidate who shows some real awareness and concern about policy, is unambiguously against war and torture, doesn’t use the prospect of terrorism to terrify the populace, and is pro-science and pro-education. An anti-George W. Bush, in other words.

That’s more like it

While it’s nice to have the Dilbonians* still whimpering and howling in frustration and fury, here’s an even better testimonial to my talents:

PZ, I’m sorry I slighted you. I now have seen the light. You lull your victims into a false sense of security by manifesting as a mild-mannered biology prof, but in reality you are an unspeakably hideous hybrid of Cthulhu and the Flying Spaghetti Monster, living in a shadow lair beyond time and space, called Minnesota. You suck your victims’ brains out through their eye sockets and gorge until sated. You are the very embodiment of evil.

I am well pleased. I shall let him live a little longer, although I may have to sup on his bandwidth a bit more.

*What I’m finding amusing right now is all the Dilbert fans who are showing up in the comments and complaining that I’m obsessed and that I need to stop picking on poor Scott Adams…5 days after I wrote the post. I wonder; do they think the post goes away when they don’t look at it, and I’m busily retyping it over and over again so it’ll be there when they look a second time? Peek-a-boo is cute when played with 2 year olds, but I expect people who know how to use the internet to have mastered the concept of object permanency.