Apple gets it exactly right

Always on the cutting edge, Apple has announced a bio-organic laptop.

Cook presented the bizarre, malformed new product to stunned silence during a media event at Apple headquarters, revealing a device that, while vaguely similar to a computer in certain respects, appeared to be encased in a thick, flesh-like coating that was visibly moist and engorged.

"Oh, my sweet God," Apple employee Kurt Starfeldt said after viewing the MacBook up close. "It appeared to be discharging some sort of mucus-type substance from the headphone jack and making these weird murmuring sounds. And then it started quivering at one point when Tim was demonstrating how to use the touch pad. It was quite upsetting, actually."

The photos reveal that it is definitely squamous. I want one. I want two so I can breed them.

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Birthday go thud

One of those days…I was trapped at home most of the morning. We’re in that transitional stage where the snow and ice melt during the day, but then freezes solid overnight, almost instantaneously, so it was kind of pretty — sidewalks covered with rippled ice, for instance — but just too dangerous to walk on. So I stayed home and pounded together some cheap furniture I’d ordered to fill in a gap in our bedroom. That’s right, I spent my birthday doing manual labor.

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The Rushkoff delusion

The 2014 annual Edge question was “What scientific idea is ready for retirement?”. That’s an interesting question, but as usual, there are a few answers that are complete bullshit. This year’s big dumb answer comes from Douglas Rushkoff, a media consultant, who suggests that science needs to get rid of The Atheism Prerequisite. It’s entirely a whine about a false premise.

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AC Grayling makes a very sensible suggestion

We should do away with Religious Studies.

Those who have written to you in defence of religious studies, and in opposition to the philosophy GCSE proposals that I and Dr John Taylor have put forward, do it not on intellectual and pedagogical grounds, but because they have a vested interest in keeping RS going.

They only do it for the big money from Big Theology! I am quite happy to see that argument turned around — we get so many accusations that science is propped up by Big Science or Big Pharma or whatever, and that we’re only in it for the cash. I don’t think theologians are actually in it to get rich (like scientists, there isn’t that much money in our philosophies), but religion would die a little faster if there weren’t so much interest in paying people for affirming silly beliefs.

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