My kids are going to be so disappointed in me

I’ve failed. Compared to that model father, Jay Sekulow, I’ve completely failed at life.

Poor Christians opened their wallets to a religious nonprofit run by Donald Trump’s lawyer Jay Sekulow. In turn, Sekulow hired one of his own teenage sons—straight out of a Nickelodeon internship—and named him a “director” of the charity, where the son subsequently earned nearly a million dollars.

We raised our kids godless and with the weird idea that grifting was an immoral act. Now they’re going to look at their bank accounts and wonder why I was so cruel to them. Heck, I’m looking at my bank account and thinking I must have messed up.

The Sekulow family has full control of CASE [Christian Advocates Serving Evangelism], which raked in $229 million in donations from 2011 to 2015 alone, The Washington Post reported. CASE solicited donations through an aggressive phone campaign. A script for CASE telemarketers, obtained by The Guardian, instructed callers to pressure the poor for money. “Could you possibly make a small sacrificial gift of even $20 within the next three weeks?” the script instructed telemarketers to ask retirees, the unemployed, and other people who said they were too poor to give. The donations would go toward preserving “our traditional Christian values,” the script said.

Just call me a bad dad. Oh well. At least I’m not going to go to jail for that kind of fraud!

Wait. Neither is Sekulow, I guess.

In a statement to The Guardian, a Sekulow spokesperson said the nonprofit’s payouts were all legal.

Damn. I should have followed the American Way, but I done fucked up.

Why is Chris Christie still governor of New Jersey?

The US seems to lack a way to promptly oust corrupt politicians, and Christie highlights the defects in the system. He’s still at the top of the New Jersey hierarchy despite the bridge closure scandal. And now this: there is a state government shutdown which has closed New Jersey state parks (you can’t go downashore on the 4th of July weekend? This is culture shock for that area), except that Christie has used executive privilege to get his family a beach weekend. It’s got to be great — I’ve been to Jersey beaches, and they tend to be a tightly packed mass of milling humanity, except now the budget incompetence of the governor allows him to clear the masses and have the whole beach to himself.

Because this is a Republican administration, though, they have to lie about it. Christie is using a helicopter to shuttle himself from the shore to work (another expense), and he was asked if he was taking advantage of the beach closures.

At a Sunday news conference on the shutdown, Christie was asked if he got any sun today.

“I didn’t,” he said. “… I didn’t get any sun today.”

Unfortunately for him, a photo had been taken that morning.

Oops.

When later told of the photo, Brian Murray, the governor’s spokesman, said:

“Yes, the governor was on the beach briefly today talking to his wife and family before heading into the office. He did not get any sun. He had a baseball hat on.”

He’s in shorts, t-shirt, and sandals, on a beach chair, on the beach, but he wasn’t getting any sun. Right. Got it.

What lessons have we learned, boys and girls?

  • Republicans will use their own administrative bungles to their own advantage, and no one else’s.

  • Republicans will lie flagrantly about it.

  • Even when caught, there’s nothing anyone can do about it, and the Republican will continue in office.

This should throw a bucket of shockingly cold water on anyone who thinks Donald Trump can be easily kicked out of office by rule of law. I’m beginning to believe that Trump could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and we’d spend a couple of years dithering about what to do.

The Republicans know it, too. Let’s not ignore Christie’s let-them-eat-cake moment.

Asked if this is fair, Christie said Saturday: “Run for governor, and you can have a residence there.”

This is just too meta

The latest tweet from our President of the United States:

That’s Donald Trump complaining about fake news with a clip of him pretending to beat up Vince McMahon of the WWE, the fake sport, with the CNN logo pasted over McMahon’s face.

Trump is a known World Wrestling Entertainment fan and friend of WWE owner Vince McMahon.

Is this politics now?

Bianca Roberson and the tragedy of the NRA

I hated driving in Philadelphia — the drivers there are the worst in my experience. It wasn’t just the vigorous honking and the aggressive tailgating, either, I personally witnessed a driver pull out a pistol and pop off a series of shots at a truck that passed him. Every day that I made that awful commute from King of Prussia to North Philly I was convinced that I was going to die (we got smart and moved to Jenkintown, finally, where I could take mass transit to work, in part because I was pretty sure I was going to have a nervous breakdown).

The story of Bianca Roberson brings back ugly memories. Any place along the highway were you were forced to merge two lanes together was going to provoke some people to fury, needlessly. All I had to worry about generally were the obnoxious drivers who’d flip you off and pound on their horn and drive recklessly to insist that they get to merge ahead of you. Bianca Roberson met a fellow driver who pulled out a gun and shot her in the head.

This is rank madness. You do not need a gun to drive on a highway, no, not even the Schuylkill Expressway. A gun does not help in any way. It makes everything worse, to no good purpose. You do not need to be armed at all times. You do not need a gun at a movie theater. You do not need a gun at school. You do not need a gun on your daily commute.

You need a gun when you go deer hunting, or if you’re going to a range to practice marksmanship. If you happen to have one with you on the way to the gun range or the hunting grounds, it should be unloaded and safely stowed someplace safe, like in the trunk. This is why we need more gun control and a culture of healthy respect for dangerous tools, not strident fanaticism and recklessness like we get from that criminal organization of evil assholes, the NRA. Actually, guns don’t deserve respect, people do…something the NRA and gun-fondlers everywhere do not understand.

The USA is a dangerous place to live or visit. Although, I can at least say I got out of a danger zone and moved to rural Minnesota, where people still have guns, but when you’re on the road you mainly have to worry about the constant expectation that you will wave to everyone.

Title: The Triggering of a Snowflake

Irish anti-SJW, anti-feminist wanker visits California, and is horrified by a portent of the future…a portrait by Dave Cullen.

That’s a masterpiece. It tells us everything we need to know about the subject of the photograph. The confusion: he doesn’t understand a simple sign for a handicapped-accessible, family restroom with no gender restrictions. The willful misinterpretation: using a wheelchair is not a gender. The narcissism: a photo of his uncomprehending face with a deeply stupid caption is supposed to be insightful, or amusing, or revealing. It is, Mr Cullen, it is…just not how you probably intended it to be.

This is the kind of self-impressed turd who rails against “identity politics” and is then sardonically dismayed by a room that says it doesn’t matter, no matter how old you are, what kind of genitals you have, or whether your mobility is limited, you can enter that room and pee. Just get it done and move on. It’s not as if the room has a big “NO ASSHOLES” sign on it, Mr Anti-Immigrant Fascist.

In space, no one can hear your word salad

Trump has sort of revived the National Space Council — oddly, because no one from NASA attended the announcement, Trump hasn’t even appointed any NASA administrators, and we still don’t have a staffed Office of Science and Technology Policy, but hey, Mike Pence is now in charge of “space”. Pence? Why?

The only good thing about this event was Buzz Aldrin’s facial expressions as Trump bumbled through the speech.

The transcript is something else.

So, I just want to tell you that we are now going to sign an executive order, and this is going to launch a whole new chapter for our great country. And people are very excited about it and I can tell you, I’m very excited about it. Thank you all very much. (Applause.)

(The order is signed.)

COLONEL ALDRIN: Infinity and beyond. (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT: This is infinity here. It could be infinity. We don’t really don’t know. But it could be. It has to be something — but it could be infinity, right?

Okay. (Applause.)

Dear god, we’re doomed.

Getting ready for Convergence

Convergence starts this week, so this weekend I’m finally actually taking a serious look at my schedule. I somehow seem to have packed most of my panels into Thursday — I think that means I get to burn out on the first day. No! I think it means I get inspired on the first day.

Here’s what I’ll be up to. Maybe I’ll see a few of you around.

Thursday, July 6

Invasive Species
Thursday July 6, 2017 12:30pm – 1:30pm
Atrium 4
When, if ever, is it possible to bring a species into a new environment? What are the potential consequences. Let’s discuss the outcomes of historical examples. Panelists: Laura Okagaki-Vraspir, PZ Myers, Vernon McIntosh, Jen Dixon, Renate Fiora (mod)

Religion in the Future
Thursday July 6, 2017 2:00pm – 3:00pm
Atrium 4
How will current religions evolve as time progresses? What new variants will arise? What about completely different religions that may come from encounters with aliens? Panelists: Lana Rosario (mod), PZ Myers, Hertzey Hertz, Samantha Bitner, Lathan Murrell

The Cosmic Perspective
Thursday July 6, 2017 3:30pm – 4:30pm
Atrium 4
Neil deGrasse Tyson refers to the “cosmic perspective” when it comes to managing anxiety about day-to-day life. Scientists share and discuss the many facts about the universe that make modern earthly problems feel insignificant. Panelists: Dan Berliner, Melanie Galloway, PZ Myers, Luxander Pond (mod)

Apocalyptic Plagues: Threat or Ghost?
Thursday July 6, 2017 5:00pm – 6:00pm
Atrium 6
Are we overdue for the next pandemic? Will we ever face the motaba virus or plagues like it? How have we overcome the plagues of the past. Panelists: Laura Okagaki-Vraspir, PZ Myers, richard hurley, Tim Lieder (mod), Kris Coulter

State of Science
Thursday July 6, 2017 8:30pm – 9:30pm
Atrium 4
 It’s 2017 and science is moving at a roaring pace. Let’s talk about the greatest breakthroughs this year, including both corporate and academic hits that my not get as much press. From front page to popular only within that discipline, come get inspired. Panelists: Laura Okagaki-Vraspir, Dan Berliner, PZ Myers, Vernon McIntosh, Peter Larsen (mod)

Friday, July 7

I Want To Be Ms. Frizzle: Using Sci-fi and Fantasy as Teaching Tools
Friday, July 7 12:30pm – 1:30pm
Atrium 2
Everyone wanted to be in Ms. Frizzle’s class as a kid (well, except Arnold). Now that we’re teachers, how can we use fantastical elements in our classrooms to encourage our students and drive their learning? Panelists: Dan Berliner, PZ Myers, Michael Zecca (mod), Jen Dixon, Peter Larsen
 

Sunday, July 9

Face Value: Why Do We Believe False Things?
Sunday July 9, 2017 3:30pm – 4:30pm
Edina
That thing you posted.. It’s not real. Why do humans keep believing false things over and over, even though it’s easier than ever to check the facts? Discuss the history and psychology of false beliefs and how they apply to the modern, digital era. Panelists: PZ Myers, William Donohue, Kayla McGrady (mod), Sara McAtee, Lathan Murrell

How much teleology and reductive stereotyping can you cram into a TED talk?

This is awful, but with good intent. Man has a child who is gay; he’s accepting and positive, so good on him for that, but he immediately goes on a quest to figure out why this has happened to him, and assembles a hodge-podge of specious rationalizations for why gay people exist. I just wanted to yell “Stop!” and say that if you accept your child for who they are, you don’t need to find a scientific justification for their life. Especially not when all he’s got is a positive bias and a collection of weak correlation studies.

Good grief. Here are some bits that made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

If this were a genetic error, natural selection should have long ago culled this from the gene pool.

This is simply false. Lots of genetic errors persist and accumulate, and the existence of a trait is poor prima facie evidence that it is adaptive. You’re looking at a prime example of the Panglossian fallacy.

About 20% of women never have children in their life, and that percentage is growing. It’s not being culled. Reproduction is not destiny. People can choose to be childless, and for some things, the mindless reductive assignment of fitness values is irrelevant.

Homosexuality is genetically programmed altruism. Gays were designed by nature to help us be kind to one another

Got that, homosexual people? You have a purpose, to be nice to all of the straights so that they can have more kids. You were designed by nature to be kind, so every time you are assertive or rude or aggressive, you are betraying the universe. Stonewall was contrary to your role in society.

I get where he’s coming from. He likes his gay son, and characterizes him as having “magnetism and charming wit”, but he can’t seem to accept that that is the way his kid is, and instead characterizes this behavior as something intrinsic to gayness. There are, apparently, no asocial or surly gay people.

So he talks about gay genes (or “male loving genes” on the X chromosome) and handwaves to justify all kinds of genetic associations. He also latches on the buzzword du jour, epigenetics, and turns that into an argument about intent.

Epigenetics chooses from among these [genetic programs] to determine which version of you is actually the best fit to the environment

Yikes. Substitute “god” for “epigenetics” and the teleology is more apparent, but it’s the same thing. Now epigenetics is an entity making decisions for you, and it always knows best.

And then there’s this stream of nonsense…

Nature devised homosexuality as a prescription for birth control

How does that work? An all-knowing Nature looks ahead and sees that your population is growing too fast, so as an alternative to making your generation stop breeding, it sterilizes the next generation? This is bad evolutionary biology. The rationale is nonsensical, too: you see, Nature is worried that your family might get too large, so it flips epigenetic switches on some of your kids so that they won’t produce grandchildren.

This one will not be overburdening the clan with yet more mouths to feed in the next generation

Aaaargh. Well, gosh, if Nature has a plan for your clan, what’s with the fidgeting around and making gay mouths to overburden you right now? Why not just go straight to spontaneous abortion? Oh, it’s because gay people are nicer.

He’s not going to be killing his brother in a fight over who gets the girl

Why would you expect that heterosexual children would kill each other over mates? Why would you expect that homosexual children would be free of jealousy and conflict? I have two brothers, and I never felt the urge to kill them for their women (they’re still alive, I didn’t murder them, so you can ask them). I’ve known gay people who were real assholes; there are gay people who voted for Trump. They’re not paragons, they’re human beings, with all the attributes of complicated individuals.

But I have to save the worst for last. This guy who believes in the extreme power of natural selection to optimize human populations for survival doesn’t like the idea of a “struggle for existence”, which is OK, Darwin didn’t much care for that phrase or “survival of the fittest” either. But then he substitutes a different misleading phrase: a snuggle for existence.

Cue projectile vomiting. Oh, look, it’s rainbow-colored!