The shocking truth!

The Schoepenhauer awards are a delectable collection of interesting descriptions of parasites, such as the roundworm.

Today we’ll introduce you to the Intestinal Roundworm, a hideous parasite which infects one out of every four people in the world. That’s not a misprint: one out of four. More than one and a half BILLION people. Yup, every fourth person on this planet is nothing but a travelling worm farm.

Sweeeeet, right?

But hey, do you remember that moment in a certain cult movie when Sean Connery, dressed in little more than bandoliers and a speedo, is rummaging through a library and discovers the truth about his god, the incredible gun-spewing penis-hating flying head named Zardoz? He finds the book The WIZARD of OZ, and realizes he’s been tricked, and his whole life has been a lie, and he has to go kill all the Immortals and sleep with Charlotte Rampling.

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The Schoepenhauer article is accompanied by this figure.

Notice any remarkable similarities? Anything that makes you go “hmmm”?

Does this help?

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NOOOOOOOOOOO!

I’ve been tricked! Now I have to go home and get a pistol and some red underwear. Somebody…warn Charlotte Rampling, before it’s too late.

I don’t think anybody here fits this description

If you’re a fan of kitsch and Christianity, don’t read
this article. You’ll think it starts out OK…

Thomas Kinkade is famous for his luminous landscapes and street scenes, those dreamy, deliberately inspirational images he says have brought “God’s light” into people’s lives, even as they have made him one of America’s most collected artists.

A devout Christian who calls himself the “Painter of Light,” Kinkade trades heavily on his beliefs and says God has guided his brush—and his life—for the last 20 years.

…but then you’ll get stories of corruption, drunkenness, lewdness and groping, and most horrifying of all, peeing on Winnie the Pooh!

Adomancy

In case you were wondering, GrrlScientist has a link to Billboard’s list of number one songs, so you can find out what people were listening to on important dates in recent history.

For instance, in the month when I was conceived, the number one song in the US was “Teddy Bear” by Elvis Presley, and on the day I was born it was “Young Love” by Tab Hunter. Mom does like Elvis, and those songs are so appropriate that this might beat astrology as a signifier of prospective character.

Unfortunately, the number one song on the day I was married was “Another Brick in the Wall” by Pink Floyd. Never mind.

Shiny

Unlike Orac, I’m happy with the ship I’ve been assigned; I suspect Chris wouldn’t mind ending up on the good ship Serenity, either, although Chad might have some gripes (oddly, I’m less bothered by the wacky physics of the Firefly universe than I am by the abominable biology of Trek).

We science bloggers really are a bunch of geeks, aren’t we?

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You scored as Serenity (Firefly). You like to live your own way and don’t enjoy when anyone but a friend tries to tell you should do different. Now if only the Reavers would quit trying to skin you.

Serenity (Firefly)

88%

Deep Space Nine (Star Trek)

81%

Moya (Farscape)

75%

Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)

69%

Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix)

69%

Enterprise D (Star Trek)

69%

Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda)

63%

Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)

63%

SG-1 (Stargate)

44%

Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)

38%

Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)

31%

FBI’s X-Files Division (The X-Files)

19%

Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics)
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