The state conventions have put up their choices for governor, since Walz has announced that he won’t be running.

On the Democratic side, we’ll have Amy Klobuchar, the current senator. I can’t get excited about her — she’s your standard inoffensive middle-of-the-road Democrat, a reliable candidate with lots of money behind her. I’ll almost certainly vote for her, with no enthusiasm.

The Republican side is trying to be exciting, but just comes off as weird. Of course Mike Lindell, the My Pillow guy, was nattering around the edges, talking a big game, but no way were our Republicans going to get that weird — he lost the nomination, but don’t worry, you know he’s going to continue to flush his money away in a quixotic campaign.

The actual Republican nominee is…Kendall Qualls. You’ve never heard of him. He pops up here now and then, runs for an office, fails, and then we all forget him until the next election. His claim to fame is that he is a healthcare executive. They might as well have nominated Satan for all the popularity he’d have.

Satan might have been a better choice, since the Republicans also announced their commitment to outright evil.

The convention day began at 9 a.m. with a prayer from Father Richard Kunst of Duluth that the adopted platform of the party “promotes true, good, conservative values, fiscally and socially,” followed by the Pledge of Allegiance.

A delegate then called for a moment of silence for Derek Chauvin, who was convicted of murdering George Floyd in 2020 and is in prison. State Rep. Danny Nadeau, R-Rogers, led a 10-second moment of silence after taking an informal vote.

Monday was the sixth anniversary of Floyd’s death.

And then after hailing Derek Chauvin, they all met their Grindr dates and went off to a black mass, where they drank the blood of poor children.