I had nothing to do with Kyle Rittenhouse’s recent hospitalization


Rittenhouse has been hospitalized with a spider bite, and I’m getting all this email asking if I was responsible. No, don’t be silly. If I had the power to sic spiders on people I don’t like, Mar-A-Lago and the White House would be so thickly infested with Black Widows and Brown Recluses that the entire Republican ruling class would be dead or hospitalized. I would not start with blubberin’ Kyle, much as he deserves it.

The communists couldn’t take me out and i’ll be damned if I let a brown recluse take me out

So now his paranoia is imagining invisible communists and spiders under his bed. He’s a weird sad sick individual.

Keep crying, killer.

Comments

  1. submoron says

    Could his delusions be a result of the spider toxin or did the spider bite him because he was deluded?

  2. Hemidactylus says

    Your “ hospitalized with a hospital bite” should be spider bite or brown recluse bite.

  3. lasius says

    I once was bitten by some lycosid while out sampling aquatic insects. Hurt like a bee sting and the two marks were visible for weeks, but it wasn’t serious otherwise.

  4. drdrdrdrdralhazeneuler says

    Given that global warming is causing spiders to move to more northerly habitats, I would presume that the killer has fallen victim to the stupidity of his political orientation.

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