Gilead, here we come!

Lard, I hate waking up to shit like this. Especially when I’m only really interested in the latest news about the War on Photosynthesis currently taking place in the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool. I can’t stop laughing about it! Every new update has me in stitches.

A person wearing a cartoonish, pink and white, inflatable frog costume that says “AMPHIFA” across its belly, standing next to the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool, and carrying a sign overhead that reads “FIRST THEY CAME for the ALGAE…”

That is some funny shit right there.

But not today. Today, I see this:

The Washington Post | Alert | Breaking News | June 26, 8:11 p.m. EDT | Trump’s Religious Liberty Commission takes aim at separation of church and state | The Trump administration issued a draft report from the commission that says the separation concept is a legal error and that Americans should view religion as an “essential support.” The 224-page report also recommended the DOJ issue guidance to promote “an originalist understanding” of how the Constitution sees the relationship between religion and government.

A legal error! Well gosh, I wonder which part of their much-touted and specifically-sworn-to U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment our esteemed “Supreme” court will rewrite, strike dead, or pretend not to understand? (Oooh, is Polymarket taking bets on this yet? Asking for a friend…) Because sure as shit, that court is where this “legal error” will end up.

For those who may want a quick refresher, the First Amendment to the United States Constitution reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

That part in bold is commonly referred to as the “establishment clause,” though I have always wondered why it isn’t called the “non-establishment clause.”

But hey, I’m no constitutional scholar! And even though I’m a native English speaker (albeit one with a baaaad Philly accent when I get drunk), I may not understand what those English words in that ol’ First Amendment mean. For all I know, they might mean “all laws must respect the establishment of a few approved sects of the roughly 45,000 different versions of the Christian religion, and prohibit the free exercise of anything else.” And the really amazing part is those words will have meant exactly this for the past 250 years! I know, right? The men who wrote it, and all the judges who have taken it more or less at face value for centuries, will all turn out to have been COMPLETELY WRONGHEADED about what the establishment clause means.

Lest you think I’m being a tad histrionic, these same Supreme Assholes have already done this to the Second Amendment. That one says in its entirety:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Just so you know what a hopelessly illiterate dingbat you’re reading right now, I must confess that there was a time, not so long ago, when I actually believed that (omg this is so embarrassing!) the words “well regulated” and “Militia” and “being necessary to the security of a free State” had something to do with… a well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State! LOL! I was so confused I thought the aforementioned necessary and well regulated Militia was the context and justification for peoples’ right to bear arms.

facepalm emoji

Thankfully, the six superior intellects sitting on the nation’s highest court set me straight about that foolishness. I have come to understand that the words of the Second Amendment mean “EVERYONE CAN OPEN CARRY EVERYWHERE AT ALL TIMES.” Not only that, but the Second Amendment has always meant that! For the past 250 years! See, it’s just that in all that time, nobody else had the penetrating insight, encyclopedic historical knowledge, and time-traveling capabilities of our six conservative Justices.

Goldman v. Landers in NY-10.

Having inexplicably failed to find any traction (yet!) on my “WHITE PEOPLE: LET’S ALL FORFEIT OUR VOTES TO BLACK WOMEN” campaign (well, except for my long-time psychiatrist, who loves the idea but unfortunately doesn’t live in my district), I’ve had to take responsibility for my primary ballot myself. I wish I could say I did so reluctantly, but the truth is I could not wait to do this thing.

hoto of my Dem primary ballot for NY-10 today: "Representative in Congress Dan Goldman, then I wrote in red (D-Israel, no matter what they do.) O Brad Lander, then I wrote in red (D-F%*k genocide, ICE, & billionaires) ⏺"

My NY-10 congressional primary ballot.

Early voting started today in New York for the June 23 Democratic primary, and I was practically foaming at the mouth and ready to attack the security guard to let me in.

Dan Goldman is currently serving his second term as my congresscritter, and hopefully his last. Lander’s been running ahead in polling, but not enough for my comfort. Goldman, an heir to the Levi-Strauss fortune, successfully self-funded his first campaign. This cycle, when his primary opponent Brad Lander started polling ahead, he casually dumped another $1 million of his own money into his coffers.

None of that is necessarily disqualifying, in my view. It’s what Goldman has done – and not done – while in Congress that has this atheist praying he gets his ass kicked out of DC.

Mr. Goldman doesn’t need the money, but he takes it anyway from AIPAC. I’ve been reading his weekly email newsletter since he was sworn in, and he proudly votes pro-Israel every single time a vote comes up. He’s essentially Chuck Schumer’s Mini-Me.

Here’s a thought that apparently hasn’t occurred to ANY congresscritter:

How about no aid or assistance of any kind to countries with universal healthcare, until the U.S. has a world-class, single-payer healthcare system itself? 

That policy alone would take care of our tax dollars funding a Palestinian genocide.

Dear foreign democracies: Let your own people suffer medical bankruptcies and shorter, sicker lives to fund your government’s evils. Thanks.

*shrug*