Iris haz disappoint. :|

Last Friday I was informed that Marco Rubio, the U.S. Secretary of State, has launched an international crusade against “far-left terrorists.”

As a committed disciple of the philosophy of nonviolence-except-in-self-defense-or-defense-of-another – or NEISDODOA, as it is commonly known 🤣 – I was particularly keen to find out what horrific, bloody mayhem these “far-left” evildoers were getting up to. Terrorism in the name of leftist causes IS NOT HELPFUL. It makes the rest of us nonviolent lefties look bad by association, and sets us all back in our quest for ~~world domination~~ single-payer healthcare for all.

via DropSite News:

Speaking at a conference attended by officials from more than 60 countries, Secretary of State Marco Rubio said that the U.S. is building an “international counterterrorism coalition” focused on transnational far-left networks, alleging links to Iranian proxies and Cuba. Rubio promised further terrorist designations …

Oh no, I thought. I’ve been a supporter and activist for leftist causes for my whole adult life, and yet I have never once encountered a single Iranian proxy! Well, not that I know of anyway. I have indeed met quite a few Cubans in Miami over the years. But these particular Cubans only seemed interested in serving up ridiculously delicious Cuban food at their South Beach restaurants after 4am when the clubs all closed. Had this whole leftist-Iranian-proxy-Cuban-terrorism-campaign been operating right under my nose for decades?!

Naaaaah. [Read more…]

Gilead, here we come!

Lard, I hate waking up to shit like this. Especially when I’m only really interested in the latest news about the War on Photosynthesis currently taking place in the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool. I can’t stop laughing about it! Every new update has me in stitches.

A person wearing a cartoonish, pink and white, inflatable frog costume that says “AMPHIFA” across its belly, standing next to the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool, and carrying a sign overhead that reads “FIRST THEY CAME for the ALGAE…”

That is some funny shit right there.

But not today. Today, I see this:

A legal error! Well gosh, I wonder which part of their much-touted and specifically-sworn-to U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment our esteemed “Supreme” court will rewrite, strike dead, or pretend not to understand? (Oooh, is Polymarket taking bets on this yet? Asking for a friend…) Because sure as shit, that court is where this “legal error” will end up.

For those who may want a quick refresher, the First Amendment to the United States Constitution reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

That part in bold is commonly referred to as the “establishment clause,” though I have always wondered why it isn’t called the “non-establishment clause.”

But hey, I’m no constitutional scholar! And even though I’m a native English speaker (albeit one with a baaaad Philly accent when I get drunk), I may not understand what those English words in that ol’ First Amendment mean. For all I know, they might mean “all laws must respect the establishment of a few approved sects of the roughly 45,000 different versions of the Christian religion, and prohibit the free exercise of anything else.” And the really amazing part is those words will have meant exactly this for the past 250 years! I know, right? The men who wrote it, and all the judges who have taken it more or less at face value for centuries, will all turn out to have been COMPLETELY WRONGHEADED about what the establishment clause means.

Lest you think I’m being a tad histrionic, these same Supreme Assholes have already done this to the Second Amendment. That one says in its entirety:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Just so you know what a hopelessly illiterate dingbat you’re reading right now, I must confess that there was a time, not so long ago, when I actually believed that (omg this is so embarrassing!) the words “well regulated” and “Militia” and “being necessary to the security of a free State” had something to do with… a well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State! LOL! I was so confused I thought the aforementioned necessary and well regulated Militia was the context and justification for peoples’ right to bear arms.

Thankfully, the six superior intellects sitting on the nation’s highest court set me straight about that foolishness. I have come to understand that the words of the Second Amendment mean “EVERYONE CAN OPEN CARRY EVERYWHERE AT ALL TIMES.” Not only that, but the Second Amendment has always meant that! For the past 250 years! See, it’s just that in all that time, nobody else had the penetrating insight, encyclopedic historical knowledge, and time-traveling capabilities of our six conservative Justices.

Goldman v. Landers in NY-10.

Having inexplicably failed to find any traction (yet!) on my “WHITE PEOPLE: LET’S ALL FORFEIT OUR VOTES TO BLACK WOMEN” campaign (well, except for my long-time psychiatrist, who loves the idea but unfortunately doesn’t live in my district), I’ve had to take responsibility for my primary ballot myself. I wish I could say I did so reluctantly, but the truth is I could not wait to do this thing.

hoto of my Dem primary ballot for NY-10 today: "Representative in Congress Dan Goldman, then I wrote in red (D-Israel, no matter what they do.) O Brad Lander, then I wrote in red (D-F%*k genocide, ICE, & billionaires) ⏺"

My NY-10 congressional primary ballot.

Early voting started today in New York for the June 23 Democratic primary, and I was practically foaming at the mouth and ready to attack the security guard to let me in.

Dan Goldman is currently serving his second term as my congresscritter, and hopefully his last. Lander’s been running ahead in polling, but not enough for my comfort. Goldman, an heir to the Levi-Strauss fortune, successfully self-funded his first campaign. This cycle, when his primary opponent Brad Lander started polling ahead, he casually dumped another $1 million of his own money into his coffers.

None of that is necessarily disqualifying, in my view. It’s what Goldman has done – and not done – while in Congress that has this atheist praying he gets his ass kicked out of DC.

Mr. Goldman doesn’t need the money, but he takes it anyway from AIPAC. I’ve been reading his weekly email newsletter since he was sworn in, and he proudly votes pro-Israel every single time a vote comes up. He’s essentially Chuck Schumer’s Mini-Me.

Here’s a thought that apparently hasn’t occurred to ANY congresscritter:

How about no aid or assistance of any kind to countries with universal healthcare, until the U.S. has a world-class, single-payer healthcare system itself?

That policy alone would take care of our tax dollars funding a Palestinian genocide.

Dear foreign democracies: Let your own people suffer medical bankruptcies and shorter, sicker lives to fund your government’s evils. Thanks.

*shrug*

DOJ Fallout Over Comey Prosecution.

Screenshot from email alert: The Washington Post Trending Now: Must-read stories around major news events May 9, 9:22 a.m. EDT DOJ sees fallout after push to prosecute former FBI director James Comey. Several prosecutors have left the Justice Department, others are considering doing so, and at least one major case has been disrupted.

Screenshot from Washington Post email alert.

I am of two minds about this. When good people, like (some) federal career prosecutors, quit the DOJ on principle, it makes a powerful and important statement. (And headlines in the gawdawful Washington Post, apparently.) I could never ask any one of them to stay against their conscience, and to remain part of a captured, right-wing-politicized, weaponized DOJ, tasked with acting like the president’s personal law firm – one with the power to imprison his targets. That is some seriously fascist $#!+, right there.

At the same time, quitting on principle makes the DOJ even worse, with a stronger concentration of amoral, authoritarian @$$holes remaining. Those who leave know this of course, and I have to wonder how many of them have struggled to stay this long for that very reason, hoping to keep their jobs by keeping their heads down, and attempting to persevere until the chaos demons currently in charge are gone. But everyone with a conscience has their breaking point.

There is no good choice here for prosecutors who actually believe in, and often have devoted their entire careers to, the rule of law. Oh, they will be fine, at least financially: prosecutors are heavily recruited by law firms, and private practice pays way, WAAAAY more than a public prosecutor’s salary. They may even get to take some satisfaction in representing clients targeted by their former colleagues at DOJ.

The whole thing just makes me sad, angry, and wishing I had a passport from another country.

Then again, if I had a different passport I wouldn’t be able to forfeit my vote to my Black neighbor. 😈

And this is…news?

To anyone? Srsly?

News Alert
May 22, 4:01 p.m. EDT

Southern Baptist leaders covered up sex abuse, lied to members about secret database, explosive report shows

Leaders in the Southern Baptist Convention released a major third-party investigation that found that sex abuse survivors were often ignored, minimized and “even vilified” by top leaders in the nation’s largest Protestant denomination.

Read more [@Washington Post]

Why? So we can “learn” that the hierarchy at an ultra- conservative, openly misogynist, church has a hideous history of sexually abusing women and girls (and probably boys and men too) and covering it up for decades?

You guys, it’s so weird! I feel like I could have written this exact story, word for word, without seeing anything more than the headline.

Yeah, I must be psychic or something. ‘CUZ THAT’S THE ONLY EXPLANATION THAT MAKES ANY SENSE AMIRITE.

Louisiana to become El Salvador, i.e., hell.

[CONTENT WARNING: child rape, teen suicide, fanatical hostility to bodily autonomy and consent, extreme misogyny, and probably some other shit I could be too triggered to recall.]

In In this December 2017 photo, Salvadoran Teodora Vasquez, found guilty of what the court said was an illegal abortion via a miscarriage, arrives in a courtroom to appeal her 30-year prison sentence.
(AP Photo/Salvador Melendez)

Perhaps you have heard about Louisiana’s latest bill classifying all abortions as homicides? Anyone found to help facilitate an abortion, from the person(s) performing it to the involuntary organ donor who wants or needs it will be charged with homicide, with the potential penalty of life in prison. There is no exception for rape, incest, or when fetuses are incompatible with life (e.g. anencephaly).

The bill, HB813, passed out of committee on a 7-2 vote; it now faces the full legislature, and if passed, will land on the desk of Democratic Governor John Bel Edwards. But before you entertain visions of victorious vetoes dancing around in your head, you should know that Governor Edwards has been a hardcore advocate for involuntary organ donation (by other people) as a governor, and previously as a state lawmaker. He has already signed into law one of the most draconian anti-abortion laws in the country, outlawing the procedure upon the detection of a heartbeat, which is about six weeks gestation and before many people know they are pregnant.

[Read more…]

Well…yeah.

You didn’t expect the conservative SCOTUS majority to be consistent, principled or even coherent, did you?

CUZ THAT’S JUST SILLY TALK.

Happy International Women’s Day! Or, not!

Today, March 8, is International Women’s Day. The day was first professed by the Socialist Party of America in 1909, the idea arising from women’s rights movements in industrializing nations around the turn of the last century. Its purpose is to celebrate the achievements of women throughout history, as well as engage in the ongoing struggle for gender equality.

March is also Women’s History Month. <-That is a website curated by the U.S. Library of Congress that showcases women’s battles and triumphs with interesting and informative stories, audio, video and still images.

If you are a dude and still reading this post: here, have a cookie. (I baked them myself.) That’s for seeing the word “women’s” and not immediately deciding to GTFO.

However, if you are a dude blogger, social media influencer, or a Big Willie with a platform of any kind? [Read more…]

Death to Squirrels

by Iris Vander Pluym