This grand plan to rename New York’s Penn Station after Donald Trump has been kicking around for a while now, yet you may be surprised to learn that I AM ALL FOR IT. In fact, I cannot wait for this to happen!

It is a well-known fact that the sheer scale of this administration’s delusions of grandeur is matched only by its epic incompetence. Look what they did to a shallow pool ferchrissakes, and just imagine how badly they can fuck up a train station! (Note that this is not the part I am excitedly looking forward to, but it seems inevitable, with or without Trump’s name slapped all over it.)

It is also a well-known fact that much of our fair city holds a visceral disgust – dare I say hatred? – for the current president, a sentiment that stretches back long before he had any political ambitions.

A third well-known fact is that New York City is home to an enormous population of extraordinarily creative people, the vast, VAST majority of whom I’d venture are far-left terrorists lefties eager to protest the current political regime.

I think you can see where I’m coming from and where I’m going with this, which seems particularly apropos for a post about a train station. 

It is my prediction, as well as my fervent hope, dream and desire, that no matter where the letters T, R, U, M, and P are found together in and around Penn Station*, they will be dismantled, defaced, detached, defiled, and/or disappeared in the most brilliant and hilarious ways imaginable. And make no mistake: the brave and patriotic artists performing this public service will be captured on video by surveillance cameras, standers-by, and perhaps even the valiant vandals themselves, their hijinks to be posted far and wide across the ‘net for everyone to enjoy!

THIS IS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME.

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*Yes, it will always be referred to by New Yorkers as Penn Station. Fun fact: it was already renamed Moynihan Train Hall over five years ago, and in that time I have never once heard a single person refer to it as anything other than Penn Station. New Yorkers may remember when the city’s real estate lobby kept trying to rename the rapidly-gentrifying neighborhood of Hell’s Kitchen “Clinton.” Hahaha! Nice try, assholes. If nothing else, we are a bunch of stubborn motherfuckers, and we won’t easily be pushed around by the likes of the city’s real estate lobby, and certainly not by Donald fucking Trump. At least not without getting something gloriously gratifying out of the deal.