In recovery mode, bring more spiders

Yesterday was a lost day. After my booster shot, I experienced the usual phenomena accompanying a challenge to the immune system: aching eyeballs, aching bones, fever, muscle weakness, etc. Man, my immune system was angry and spoiling for a fight, so SARS-CoV-2, I’m warning you, don’t come around here or you’re going to get a whuppin’.

I’m feeling a little less battered today, so here’s something to cheer everyone up: a whole page of charming and cute spider pics. As you might guess from the adjectives, these are all “cute”, which means they’re almost all jumping spiders. Everyone likes jumping spiders. Appreciation of the terrible beauty of, say, Latrodectus is something that has to be learned.

Did anyone get the license number of that bus?

It somehow ran over me in bed. It might have something to do with whatever was in that needle yesterday. I think the problem is compounded by the fact that Mary cheerfully offered up her left deltoid for the shot, and I unthinkingly did the same…forgetting that I sleep on my left side. I was waking up sporadically all night long as I rolled on that painful shoulder.

Today I’m booked up with appointments until 7pm.

Stupid bus.

Boosted again

Mary & I got our second booster shot this afternoon, a Moderna chaser to our previous Pfizer shots. We better be safe against COVID now! I also think that if we get one more, making 5 injections, we ought to either get a free coffee refill, or we should start to transform.

OK, which of you guys requested Second Winter?

It’s not funny. One day the snow was mostly melted, the sky was clear and blue, I could walk to work in my shirtsleeves, and then…this weekend we’re hit with screaming winds, deeply chilly temperatures, and more snow.

Sure, you thought it was hilarious to sacrifice a goat to the Northern Gods, but did you give a thought to all the little baby spiders who felt the first touch of the sun’s warmth and hopefully launched themselves skyward on silken threads, and then abruptly got hit with a gale that froze them solid and carried them off to Ohio? These cruel pranks have consequences.

May righteous wrath consume all tainted by InfoWars

Alex Jones offered each of the families of the Sandy Hook children he defamed $120,000 to settle their lawsuits against him. They turned him down.

Each of the plaintiffs turned down the settlement offer in court documents, saying, “The so-called offer is a transparent and desperate attempt by Alex Jones to escape a public reckoning under oath with his deceitful, profit-driven campaign against the plaintiffs and the memory of their loved ones lost at Sandy Hook.”

Jones treated those murdered children as things, things he could use to jack up right-wing hysteria and fuel profitable traffic to his site. They are not things. Jones was so unconscionably exploitive and abusive that I can entirely sympathize with those parents. They aren’t looking for money, something else Jones can’t understand. They are out to destroy a locus of hatred, one that grew on the bodies of dead children.

InfoWars has now declared bankruptcy, saying they only have assets of between $0-$50,000. That’s a lie. They have a heavily-trafficked website that brings in at least that much every week; they get ad revenue from Breitbart, so at least one other right-wing site is propping them up; they’ve got a quack store and must have a storage facility filled with crap like Ultra Brain Force (although, I’ll give them this: if their supply was valued for their effectiveness, it would be worth $0) and stupid hats; just the video gear that they use to record and edit all the lies they pump out has got to be worth more than that. Jones has a house and cars and a studio.

Take them all and put Jones in an institution for the criminally insane. Cut off all the “reporters” he supports — Ian Miles Cheong, Owen Shroyer, Millie Weaver, Margaret Howell, Savannah Hernandez, etc. — and let them get jobs serving fast food somewhere, if they’re qualified for that. Burn it all down. Scatter salt on the careers of all the people affiliated with it.

The line goes down

How much should owning the rights to a picture of tweet be worth? If you asked me, I might give you, as an act of charity, a dollar before throwing it away. Not Sina Estavi! He paid $2.9 million for this:

Oops. I think I just committed grand larceny. It’s the first time I ever stole millions of dollars, and it felt good. Maybe I should steal more…oh, wait. Uh-oh.

Crypto investor Sina Estavi bought an NFT of Twitter cofounder Jack Dorsey’s first tweet ever for $2.9 million in March of 2021. And after a year of constant hype for NFTs, most people would naturally assume Estavi might be able to turn a nice profit on his investment by now. But most people would be wrong.

Estavi put the NFT up for auction last week and bidding ended on Wednesday. The highest bid? Roughly $277 worth of ethereum, at current prices, according to crypto news outlet CoinDesk.

That’s a crushing disappointment. One moment I’m a glamorous international thief planning a weekend in Monte Carlo on my ill-gotten gains, and next I discover that my precious objet d’lucre is worth next to nothing, and if I could even find a fence for it at best I’d get a trip to the drive-through at my local McDonald’s.

I can laugh now, but I sure hope I don’t learn that my retirement funds are all invested in blockchain shit.

Tweaking the work week

Hey, this sounds strangely familiar.

According to a study conducted last year by the American Federation of Teachers with the Rand Corporation, one in four teachers were thinking about quitting their job by the end of the school year. Teachers were also more likely to report experiencing regular job-related stress and symptoms of depression than the general population, according to the study.

Texas has one solution.

A local school district in Texas has announced plans to reduce students’ school weeks from the traditional five days to four days for the upcoming 2022-2023 school year.

The Jasper Independent School District cited teacher shortage and retention when it announced the change in a Facebook post last month and said it had conducted surveys with parents, teachers and staffers before the change was voted on by its board of trustees.

Also, pay them a little more.

Teachers would get a $3,000 stipend while staff members, such as librarians, would receive $1,500 if they remain with Jasper ISD. The funds allocated would come from the public school district’s Elementary and Secondary School Emergency Relief Fund (ESSER) grants, a federal grant program under the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act

They are having longer school days to compensate, so it’s not exactly free time. I’m also wondering what parents think: 4 day school weeks and 5 day work weeks don’t line up neatly, and there’s going to be an increased demand for day care.

Unless employers in the region go to 4 day work weeks, which wouldn’t be a bad idea…

I get email: Oh no! I have tugged on the lion’s tail!

I mocked Ben Shapiro. I shouldn’t have done that. You know he has legions of brilliant defenders who would leap to his defense, and now I am staggered by the sharp-witted repartee.

So that’s the kind of person who loves Ben Shapiro. I guess I better be careful or I might be fucked up by these dazzlingly sharp-witted fellows…

Oh, wait…hard to breathe…I’m choking on my own sarcasm! The poisonous toxins of my very own horrible, laughing bile are rising up to strangle me <choke> <cough, cough> Kharma Agent succeeds in their devious plan to make me die! Tell my…family…that…I love…theaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgghhhhhhh.

P.S. Sorry that I didn’t black out their email address. I forgot, and then I, you know, died.

Butt is comfy, eyes have gone blind

I’ve been having chronic back pain lately, so I indulged myself in a shiny new office chair with good lumbar support. It took me a while to assemble it, but hoo boy, it is comfy, exactly what I need.

The one catch: the instructions come in tiny red print on a black background, which is totally nuts. My eyes hurt now, although, admittedly, my backside is nice and cushy.

I am a man, and a teacher

Fuck David Mamet. What an ass.

You know, when a man announces that men are predatory and prone to pedophilia, he’s actually talking about his own attitudes. Please keep Mamet away from kids and from schools.