Death notice

The regal old willow that has graced our front yard for longer than I’ve been alive, and which has sadly shown signs of advancing senescence, is scheduled for termination tomorrow morning. It’s a beautiful old tree, but its habit of dropping a ton of log every spring has made it a hazard, so we’ve decided to end it quickly, rather than a slow death by yearly spontaneous lopping of limbs.

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I’ve had several people ask me about this tree, and several have mentioned their sorrow at its imminent passing. If you’d like to pay last respects, tonight is your last chance. Feel free to step into the yard and give it a goodbye hug (be careful, though, and don’t shake it too much—I disavow any responsibility for falling branches.)

The execution of the poor tree will be an all day job on Friday, and unfortunately, it’s got to be carried out in public. For those of you of delicate sensitivities, you might want to stay away from 3rd and College Avenue until Saturday.

Bye-bye, Lileks

As a small tremor in a bit of a staff shakeup at the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, James Lileks got the axe — he’s been demoted from a guy with a regular column to a beat reporter. It’s about time.

He’s not a bad writer, in the sense that he does have his own recognizable voice, but yeesh, he’s such a banal writer, the epitome of Minnesota mediocrity. Some of his online writings are cranky-grandpa interesting, the rantings of a deranged 9/11 wingnut, but his newspaper column … dull, dull, dull. You only need to read one column in your life about a guy who goes shopping at Target and watches TV before he goes to bed, anything more is superfluous.

If you’re unfamiliar with our local columnist, here’s an analogy to help you understand: Lileks is the Garfield of the Star-Tribune. He’s technically competent, entirely predictable, and so boring he’s not even mildly amusing any more. They also don’t even need him to provide right-wing balance to the paper now, since they hired Katherine Kersten (she’s the Mallard Fillmore of the paper: screechy, inane, and incompetent). I haven’t read a Lileks column for years, not because I resent him or am somehow boycotting him or am even angered by him — I’ve tuned him out for the same reason I don’t read the recipes for yet-another casserole. He puts me to sleep.

(via Norwegianity)

Start driving!

Did you know that if you left Minneapolis right now, you could be in Morris in time for the last Café Scientifique Morris of the 2006-2007 academic year? Tracey Anderson will be telling us all about aquatic insects, as well as just about anything you might want to ask about arthropods. If you can’t make it to this one, you’ll have to wait until September for your next opportunity.

The Mutant Variety Show

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It’s Thursday, 5 April, and you know what that means: today is the day of the Mutant Variety Show here in Morris! At 7:00 this evening, in the HFA recital hall, all of the local mutants will be exhibiting their bizarre phenotypes to the public. I’m very much looking forward to it, and anyone else in the region should swing on by.

Note: I am expecting mutants. I insist on mutants. If there are insufficient mutants to satisfy me* … well, I have an Illudium Q32 Explosive Space Modulator, and I’m not afraid to use it.

*Or at least a theremin.**

**I might settle for a kazoo. But that’s rock-bottom. No more compromises.

Small town amusements

This is terribly petty of me, but it’s something that always makes me laugh: watching someone in a pickup truck try to parallel park in downtown Morris. You have to understand that traffic is low, there’s always lots of open parking spots, so it’s a skill that doesn’t get exercised much out here. When someone tries it, hilarity ensues. It does snarl up the traffic something fierce — why, there were maybe four or five cars backed up, waiting for this fellow to quit jockeying back and forth and in and out of the lane — and the expressions of frustration in the driver and onlookers are something to see.

Having spent a few years commuting in an urban environment, you learn to slide into a narrow parking space fairly efficiently; also, this was in Philadelphia, where many practice either the ping-pong method (bouncing off the bumpers of the cars in front and back of you until you settle against the curb) or the hell-with-it method, where you just stop in the traffic lane and double-park while running your errands. Little towns are a little different.

Rumors of Spring

So I got up this morning and looked out my front window, and this is what I saw:

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Then I looked out the back door, and it wasn’t any better (as if I’d expected the weather to be localized to only the northeast half of town):

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I hadn’t been paying any attention to the weather reports lately — in the Spring we only have to worry about tornadoes, usually, and the predictions for those are mostly useless — so I hadn’t expected Winter to be reborn. We’ve got 5 or 6 inches of snow out there, with a couple more on the way. And everything had been so naked and brown just yesterday!

An MD/engineer/theologian/creationist on local turf!

I’ve got a copy of the student paper for Ridgewater College, the Ridgewater Review, volume 11, number 5, which contains an announcement:

Can anyone know for certain how the earth began?

Ridgewater’s Christians in Action student club is sponsoring talks by Dr Randy Guliuzza exploring this topic and more on Wednesday, April 11th in the Ridgewater College Hutchinson campus commons area at 11:00 am and 5:30 pm.

By golly, I am so tempted to attend. The earlier talk conflicts with one of my classes, but I might be able to get away in time to catch the evening session. It might be interesting — this fellow certainly is qualified.

Guliuzza received his medical degree from the University of Minnesota and his Masters in Public Health from Harvard University.

He holds a B.S. in engineering from South Dakota School of Mines and a B.A. in theology from Moody Bible Institute.

Whoa. Degrees in medicine, engineering, and theology — it’s like a creationist trifecta. Too bad there’s nothing in his background to suggest much knowledge of evolutionary biology, but that’s typical of this sort. He’s also affiliated with the Institution for Creation Research.

Anyone up for field trip to Hutchinson next week, to spot the wild creationist making his public display?

Busy busy busy

There are a couple of events going on here in Morris this week that I’ll be participating in, and that any of you in the region might find worth seeing. First, tonight:

Everyone is cordially invited to the last session of

THE 31st
MIDWEST PHILOSOPHY COLLOQUIUM

Personal Identity

Eric T. Olson

(Professor of Philosophy, University of Sheffield, UK)

Will present

“When Do We Begin and End?”

Monday, March 26, 7:30 p.m., Newman Catholic Center
306 East 4th Street, Morris

The gradual nature of development from fertilization to birth and beyond leaves it uncertain when we come into being; advances in medical technology leave it increasingly uncertain when we cease to exist. Many philosophers have tried to answer these questions. Professor Olson will argue that most of these answers are wrong, and that a simpler answer follows from the apparent fact that we are biological organisms.

Then, tomorrow night (Tuesday, 27 March, 6:00 at the Common Cup Coffee House), it’s time for Café Scientifique!

“So… what am I looking at?”

Kristin Kearns

An introduction to the celestial objects
visible through the UMM 16-inch telescope.

An observing session at the University’s telescope might begin with a view of the Moon and some of the more photogenic planets then, as the sky darkens, move on to a wide variety of stellar views, from planetary nebulae to globular clusters and maybe even a supernova remnant. On a clear, moonless night the telescope may probe even deeper into the darkness to find galaxies beyond our own. Whether you’ve looked through a telescope or just always wanted to, this talk will fill in the details behind the images. I’ll discuss the physical nature and cosmic context of those “smoke rings” and “cotton balls” you see in the eyepiece.

If the skies are clear, Kristin will also open up the UMM Observatory to the public after the talk, so you can come on down and see some stars.

You might as well just come on out here and spend a few days in town.

Inconceivable!

I just had to say that I stepped outside the door a few minutes ago, and it is 60°F! And almost all the snow is gone! And the sky is blue! And there are birds chirping in the trees!

I think aliens kidnapped me while I wasn’t looking and have transported me to a strange and distant world. But the internet still works here!