Comments

  1. 'Tis Himself says

    Benny Ratzi and his predecessor, John Paul the Two Eyes, made it clear that the number one requirement to become a priest was being a penis-haver.

  2. Akira MacKenzie says

    “I am the penis-haver!”

    It’s a lot funnier when you read it with an exaggerated German accent.

  4. dianepatyjewicz says

    Sent to my women friends.
    We used to say that we didn’t have “nuts” and that is why we could not advance in the Catholic church.

    Now I know we are “not a penis haver” and that is why we are the lowly peons in the church.
    I left last year, I think it was one of the most important decisions of my life.

  8. 'Tis Himself says

    Marcus Ranum,

    It’s not surprising Benny has a gorgeous personal secretary, Benny sets off a whole bunch of peoples’ gaydars.

  10. ericdutton says

    Thanks, Sili. Until you provided that link, I had thought that “bors” was supposed to be an onomatopoeia for the sound of a book slamming shut.

  11. tim rowledge, Ersatz Haderach says

    Could have sworn it read ‘penis-shaver’ the first time I saw it. It certainly doesn’t make any less sense as an argument for having The Authoriteh.

  12. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says

    It’s a lot funnier when you read it with an exaggerated German accent.

    In my head for some reason the accent was italian.

    Especially the “shut your face” part.

    I blame Family Guy.

  13. IslandBrewer says

    Whenever I read a quote from the current pedophile apologist, it makes me want to click my heels together and raise my arm.

    Wait, does that count as Godwinning?

  14. cag says

    IslandBrewer #13, around these parts it is more like Godlosing. We shall have no Godwinning.

  19. says

    Gays are Penis-Havers too.

    I guess maybe the church wants gay men’s penises to be called something else (Civil Uniters, maybe?)

  20. timberwoof says

    shazibrahim, according to the Catholic church, gay men can have penises—just not use them.

  21. Azuma Hazuki says

    Hey, I’m a penis-haver too! It lives in my sockdrawer and is blue and eats batteries (and possibly dustbunnies too…?). So can I wave it around like a lightsaber? Will it go “wang, wang!” like a lightsaber does? This is especially appropriate given Ratzie looks like Palpatine…

  23. Just_A_Lurker says

    But Luke’s wangsaber was green…

    Ratzi’s must be red then.

  25. says

    My friends and I play a game of rock-paper-scissors where penis trumps vagina. Now I know a new response to give while playing. LOL

  26. Rolan le Gargéac says

    summerminor @25

    …where penis trumps vagina

    Shirley that is wrong ! A vagina can have as many penii as she wants ! Nibble they tiny heads off !

  28. John Morales says

    [OT + meta]

    Winterwind, more like well-done than rare.

    —

    OTOH, mucus is the noun, mucous the adjective

    </pedant>

  29. Drolfe says

    [OT]

    Azuma, Ruteekatreya,

    Now, now, Luke’s lightsabers have been both blue and green! (And yellow if you include the Kenner action-figure of my youth.)

    (This is going overboard, right?)

  31. RFW says

    I don’t know what the situation is today, but in medieval times a man could not become a priest if he lacked bodily intactitude. [Cripey, I sure phrased that badly!] In one of Sigrid Undset’s interminable novels set in medieval Norway, this is a plot mechanism: a son destined for the church loses a finger thereby kiboshing the plan.

    And there are persistent (though probably false) rumors that the last step in electing a new pope is to have the cardinal electors verify that the pope-elect has two balls, by sitting him in a chair with a U-shaped seat, there to be fondled religiously. I hope they wear rubber gloves! [Does anyone make bright red disposable latex gloves? Is there a factory in Italy that does a special production run for every papal election?]

    PS: Warning: Do not read Sigrid Undset’s interminable novels set in medieval Norway if you are prone to depression. Both “The Master of Hestiviken” and “Kristin Lavransdatter” are tales of people whose lives go off the rails over and over. The most humourless, least happy books ever written.

  33. Didaktylos says

    Time to update the infamous joke:

    “Balls!” said the nun, “If I had them I could be Pope.”

    “Nuts!” said the bishop, “I’ve got them and I’m not Pope yet.”

    “Crap!” said the Pope, and all over the Vatican the priests dropped their trousers and squatted …

  34. David Marjanović says

    Will it go “wang, wang!” like a lightsaber does?

    Day saved.

    Does anyone make bright red disposable latex gloves? Is there a factory in Italy that does a special production run for every papal election?

    I don’t want to know.