Usually, I try to accentuate the positive and tell you why other animals are so much more interesting than cats, but today I’m going right for the gutter and showing you why cats are evil. Behold, the cat penis:
You know who else has a penis like that? Satan.
Now you have another reason to get your cats neutered — so they don’t ever use that nightmarish thing.
(Also on Sb)
That’s as far as I got. Not the best choice of viewing this early in the morning.
Another example of the beauty of nature that proves god or perhaps the devil. It all depends one which delusion fits the moment. To fully appreciate nature we need more squid sex.
Yep, all our cats get done ASAP. They’re quite sociable without their sex drive. Our current two are a treasure, warm and fuzzy and above all, cute. Unlike those slimy things you’re into. (They’re just awesome instead)
Without digging into their claims, I find some of what they say hard to believe. Penis barbs are used for scratching out previous sperm? Really?
How do you know that? Were you there?
You always hurt the one you love…
Really. G**gle ‘dragonfly penis’ some time for more extreme examples.
eh, should have linked to the original as originally planned.
That’s not one of Spike’s better moments.
Sex can be a pretty visiou business.
If you’re squicked by barbed cat penes think about what happens to the poor octopus, how bedbugs do it and the bizarre fate of the male lanternfish
And i guess in the Abrahamic religions’ theology, God, (the Bible Bogey, the Torah Tyrant, The Koran Kacker), created Satan. No wonder Lilith got pissed off.
Nope, still too early. Let me get another cup of coffee in me before I start contemplating that squickiness.
I dont like cats but I didn’t know they could be that much of a ….. ‘prick’!!
But God Designed the cat’s gentleman’s sausage for a reason!
it says so in teh bible! !! 11!
Barbs would be helpful when trying to tuck one’s chub under one’s belt in fourth period math class and have it stay there.
These gecko-esque setae are useless bullshit.
Neutering doesn’t just stop the mating urge… but those barbs are kept there by testosterone. When you neuter a cat, the barbs slowly go away! And the cat penis also faces ‘backwards’, which is why they have to sit so oddly to mate.
Cats are really really weird animals.
Setae? Suckers are so much more effective.
So cats don´t go for every Tom Dick´n Hairy!
Shalom
Hermann
That’s because they get organized in churches, temples, mosques, etc.
I thought I had those too!
Turned out to be ringworm.
I should really keep better track of where I put this thing.
But Šatan’s wife Ingrid hasn’t complained at all, and indeed they have two young children together: Miroslav Jr and Viktoria.
It can’t be that bad…
Brownian:
ARGHFLARGL!
That’s it. I’m stepping out of the Ghey Secks With Brownian line– some other sucker can have my spot.
Oh, Audley: like you’ve never lost something important, only to later find it behind the couch or in an IHOP syrup dispenser.
Now you have another reason to get your cats neutered — so they don’t ever use that nightmarish thing.
No need to get judgmental about it. Cats are just into S&M, ain’t no thing.
My cat typically often wanders up to me while I’m at the computer to be held and petted. I was holding her when I started watching this video. After the female housecat in the video shrieked for the first time, my cat stopped purring and glared at the screen. After the second shriek, she got up and walked away.
Oh, and yeah, she’s spayed, but that happened after the local animal shelter found her wandering around pregnant with a litter of kittens.
Eve Cat non-nommed teh Maus o Gud’n’Evl. So Ceiling Cat sed to Eve Cat, “Ur gonna hav sum srs hurtz wen u giv birfs to yur kittehs. O, and also b4 that, wen Adam Cat boinks u, cuz just now ai put spikes on hiz junk. Srsly.”
– Paraphrased from Genesis 3, the LOLCat Bible
Brownian:
Yeah, but it never came back with ringworm!! (It was Denny’s, not IHOP. Probably a miracle that I didn’t find it with something worse than ringworm, come to think of it.)
If gawd deigned the human penis, why is it required inthe rule book to get an after-market mod?
At least you never found yours being sold by a street vendor on Second Avenue and had to haggle to get it back.
Today is my first real Caturday in three months! :) If only I could find where that silly kitten is hiding…
She’s a girl, so no barbed penes anywhere around here, thankyouverymuch.
That’s true, Rey. I didn’t have to haggle. The poor fellow was extremely grateful to give the accursed thing back.
If you’ve ever known anyone who’s worked there, you’ll never order the Ass Over My Hammy again.
After first hearing about this some years ago, I must admit that I never looked at tom cats in quite the same way again.
Even as a heterosexual bloke, the idea of a human barbed penis is wince-inducingly nasty. I can only imagine the kind of horror such an idea must hold for those among the horde who have greater contact with gentleman sausages than I.
At least vagina dentata are simply an urban legend…
… they are just an urban legend, right? Right?
Gregory:
Here you go:
Teeth can grow in weird places.
Sleep well tonight.
Dr. Audley Z. Darkheart, liar and scoundrel @ 32;
Oh, what do know.
*shudder*
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the foetal position…
Some people think that Hirsuties coronae glandis
are related to these spines in humans, however, supposedly we lost the DNA code for it “…before our common ancestor split into modern humans and Neanderthals about 700,000 years ago…” [ Nat Geo makes the pun: “Human Evolution an ‘Impenetrable Mystery'” http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/03/110309-humans-men-penises-spines-dna-genome-science/%5D.
Rey Fox:
This happens all the time. It’s detachable.
Brownian, ringworm? On your . . . eww and . . . really?
*hides under the bed covers whimpering*
Do not taunt Rule 34.
Ah shit, we have another Brownian clean up over here. Everyone get your suits on, I will take point. You, get that pressure up, garden hose just ain’t gonna cut it people.
Barbed — for her pleasure.
Ah ha ha. I have no doubt you’re going to get her fixed, but trust me when I say that if you have an unspayed female cat the first time she goes into heat you will have crowds of barbed penises around, whether you want them or not.
It’s not actually true that domestic cats are loners. Their wild-type ancestors most likely were, but domestics and their feral descendents form colonies.
*not talking about penes*
I left it among a pile of sweaty socks and forgot to do laundry for a bit. I don’t see what the big deal is.
Like Hutterites? My cat won’t farm for shit.
I dealt with ringworm on and off for about ten years. I think it’s finally subsided. Interestingly, odds are good that I got it from a cat.
It’s a great icebreaker at parties, though. “Say, did I mention I have ringworm?”
It took a long time, but I did finally find an over-the-counter product that does some good. I believe the scientific name is “baby powder.”
The woman discussed in #32 has you beat. “Say, did you know my vagina has teeth?”
I learned that valuable lesson back in ’92. (For you confused youngsters, there was a time when MTV featured music videos and performances)
*sigh*
I really should finish catching up on a thread before replying.
Cheeses!
PZ, it isn’t a crime at all, though quite an embarrassment at times, but you’re so American, middle-class CONVENTIONAL sometimes!!!!
Ah, well. Even the best of us are just human beings: mortal and flawed ^ and I am not even close to being among the “best of us” but simply a mehum trying to live a honest life, and failing to see some large percentage of my own faults and hypocrisy.
I remember seeing a video in 9th or 10th grade that showed brief clips of a bunch of animals mating, from birds to elephants. Lions mating were probably there, but I remember the elephants and galapagos turtles mating clips more – the elephants because the male had a huge penis, and the galapagos because it actually look hilarious to see the male turtle on his hind legs, quivering with every thrust.
Oh, she already has been. The last day or so I thought she was biting at the couple of stitches that haven’t dissolved yet, but then I realized she was self-suckling.
Yeah, mating tortoises are among the funniest sights in nature, no doubt.
Yeah, I had to get the fire hose out to clean up the Saloon after last night’s wake for Hitch. Not one shot glass (specially strengthened) was broken after all that Black Label was imbibed (saw several dented sledge hammers, so I know that there were several individuals who tried).
EEEEE! EEEEE! EEEEE!
Actually, they have a disturbingly human-like moan.
Funnier than humans? That’s pretty seriously messed up, that.
Love that sentence directly underneath the video frame! Too funny!
Brownian, RINGWORM! Only one of the most disgusting things be afflicted with. Not that I ever had it, but pictures I’ve seen make me hope it stays that way for the rest of my life.
It is likely (though not yet conclusively proven) that humans could still have penile spines if it weren’t for a single genomic deletion.
Boy are us girls glad that this particular step in human evolution took place.
P.Z.! For shame!
I didn’t expect an argumentum ad bacculum from you! wait, those aren’t the bacculum…err, argumentum ad spiniculum? Ah heck I can’t remember enough latin for spines…
heh.
If squid had a penis like that, you’d think it was awesome, and evidence of their vast superiority!