Reason #8 to vote for Pharyngula

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People, you aren’t doing your part. Yesterday, I had an almost 600 vote lead over the star-gazing bone-bag; this morning, it has narrowed rapidly to little more than 200. At this rate, he’s going to catch up and pass me today, and then the suppression of the majority invertebrates will continue to be perpetuated by this wicked chordatecentric minority. Vote, vote, vote!

How is he accomplishing these gains? There’s the kitten factor, of course: by laying on the cute, he mobilizes the shallow masses who like superficial, pretty fluff (not my constituency, obviously). In his latest missive, he also engages in most egregious flattery.

I also know I have the most honest, wonderful, and — let’s face it — best-looking readers in the observable Universe (and that includes the depths of the ocean), so I know you’ll help out in this time of need.

Consider the flip side of that comment, though: he has also called you readers and supporters of Pharyngula dishonest, horrible, and ugly. How can you vote for someone who abuses you all so? Don’t you want to see him crushed?

Another factor is that he seems to be mobilizing his minions, asking them to display a truly hideous banner and urging their readers to vote for his blog. Well, two can play that game. Here are some tasteful banners/badges featuring Iridoteuthis or Wonderpus you can put on your blog if you voted for Pharyngula: use them freely, and tell all your friends to join in.

Copy and paste this code into your website for the small badge:

<div style="width:90; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2006.weblogawards.org/2006/12/best_science_blog.php"><img alt="pharyngula badge" title="Vote for Pharyngula in the Weblog Awards" src="http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/upload/2006/12/pharyngula_rules.jpg" width="88" height="33" /></a><br /><span style="font-size: 10px"><a href="http://2006.weblogawards.org/2006/12/best_science_blog.php">Vote</a> <a href="http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/">Pharyngula</a>!</span></div>

Copy and paste this code into your website for the larger banner:

<div style="width:290; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2006.weblogawards.org/2006/12/best_science_blog.php"><img alt="pharyngula banner" title="Vote for Pharyngula in the Weblog Awards" src="http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/upload/2006/12/pharyngula_rules_lg.jpg" width="280" height="72" /></a><br /><span style="font-size: 14px"><a href="http://2006.weblogawards.org/2006/12/best_science_blog.php">Vote</a> for <a href="http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/">Pharyngula</a>!</span></div>

If you prefer, you can use the compelling hypnotic power of the Wonderpus to force your readers to vote for me. Obey the Wonderpus!

<div style="width:290; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2006.weblogawards.org/2006/12/best_science_blog.php"><img alt="hypno_pharyngula.jpg" src="http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/upload/2006/12/hypno_pharyngula.jpg" width="300" height="80" /></a><br /><span style="font-size: 14px"><a href="http://2006.weblogawards.org/2006/12/best_science_blog.php">Vote</a> for <a href="http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/">Pharyngula</a>!</span></div>

Vote for Pharyngula (and remember, you can vote every day!). Unless you like ugly banners and being insulted.

P.S. Oh, yeah, and vote for Anyone But Althouse in the Best Centrist Blog category. I’m pushing for The Moderate Voice.

Reason #7 to vote for Pharyngula

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Yeah, I’m thinking of the kittens. I’m thinking real hard.

I was going to say, “Because if you don’t vote for me, I’m feeding the kittens to the Kraken,” but then I realized that the kind of people who’d vote for me would probably want me to feed the kittens to the Kraken. And then I realized it didn’t matter how anyone voted, because I was going to feed the kittens to the Kraken anyway. So what the heck. Kittens. Kraken. Kraken Chow. That’s the way it is. As the kittens must accept their fate, so must Phil.

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Vote for Pharyngula (and remember, you can vote every day!). Because the kittens won’t be spared whether you do or don’t.

P.S. I’m sure Respectful Insolence would love to have the endorsement of a kitty-grinding blog for Best Medical/Health Issues Blog. I’m holding out for the promise of a Hitler Zombie/EneMan crossover, though.

Reason #6 to vote for Pharyngula

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We’re in good shape. Pharyngula is slowly pulling ahead of Bad Astronomy, and I think Phil has just conceded by urging his readers to vote for me. He is admitting that a vote for him is a vote against the eventual squid domination of the Earth, so naturally no one in their right mind is going to vote for him anymore. He also includes a picture of the cutest little kitten as a token of his surrender.

Vote for Pharyngula (and remember, you can vote every day!). Unless you think kittens don’t deserve tentacles.

P.S. I have to give my vote to Majikthise for Best Individual Blog.

Reason #5 to vote for Pharyngula

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Look at this…Phil is sneaking around my back, recruiting people at the JREF to vote for him, as if he is the only skeptic in the running. He’s also tried to win people over on talk.origins. I’ll have you know I’ve been fighting for the forces of rationality for years now. I’ve debunked astrology, I’ve jumped down Deepak Chopra’s throat, I’ve skewered creationist cranks, and yes, I’ve even done movie reviews. There is also much more sex on a biology blog than you’ll ever find on a mere astronomy blog.

Although, I do have to grudgingly confess, Phil’s recent post about religious goons violating the lighting laws near Palomar Observatory was darned good stuff, too. So he gets it right now and then…it’s still not a good enough reason to vote for a sneaky squid-hater.

Vote for Pharyngula (and remember, you can vote every day!). Unless you’re a woo-woo or a eunuch.

P.S. You might also vote for GeekyMom. Geeky moms are the finest kind.

Reason #4 to vote for Pharyngula

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Phil is still playing the speciesist card, and now he wants to invoke the so-called superiority of bony internal skeletons. There’s nothing wrong with a good hydrostatic skeleton, you know, it’s one of those useful innovations that allows a soft tissue to extend and become rigid. I’m sure Phil’s lovers have all wished he had one. (Perhaps that’s the source of the telescope fixation over there, a little rigid tube envy).

And look at how far he’s willing to go:

That is why I am promoting the “Defense of Vertebrates Act”. This legislation, which I will submit to the National Academy of Higher Mammals, states that affection, care, and declarations of ” Awwwww, isn’t that cute!” can only be given to animals with bones (and to whatever animal goes into making McNuggets).

If he’s going to do that, we’re going to have to restrict all declarations of “Thou art AWESOME!” to organisms other than the bone-bags he’s raving about. He can have the trivial “cute” adjective for all of gangly, clumsy concatenations of stick-like sprues he favors, and we’ll reserve “terrifying”, “slimy”, “spiny”, “oozing”, “gelatinous”, “tremendous”, and other such inspiring adjectives for the non-vertebrate biota—the majority, as we all know.

Vote for Pharyngula (and remember, you can vote every day!). Unless you like flaccidity.

Reason #3 to vote for Pharyngula

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Now Phil has gone too far. In a Rovian scheme to pander to bigotry, he has confessed to cultivating my love of cephalopods to discredit me, and he has also stated that liking invertebrates is “unhealthy”. And now he has called us cephalapodufascist!

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This is what he sent me in his sneaky, long-term plan to pander to the anti-cephalopod faction. It’s adorable, it’s charming, it’s sweet…yet Phil Plait considers it “unhealthy”. He probably hates Cephalopodmas, too.

Vote for Pharyngula. Unless you hate squid and want to be eaten last.

By the way, you should also vote for Sadly, No for Best Humor blog

Reason #2 to vote for Pharyngula

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Phil is pleased that water has been discovered on Mars, and thinks this is a good reason to send spaceships there…and back. As a biologist, I wonder what alien life forms could be flourishing in that damp opportunity, and would urge careful disinfection. Who knows what weird parasitic microorganisms could be lurking there? Do you really want to endorse a rocket jockey when what you really need is someone able to understand and fight the alien threat?

Vote for Pharyngula. Unless you want Martian pod-fungus to eat your brain.

P.S. Also, you need to vote for anyone other than Stop the ACLU in this category.

The full-throated howl of the uncompromising advocate

I’m going to rudely hijack one political issue to make a point about another. I think you’ll quickly figure out what it is.

NARAL has been undermining their own relevance by failing to support pro-choice positions in a misguided attempt to court moderates—basically, as Ezra Klein points out, they’re failing to recognize their role in the political ecosphere. They’re an advocacy group for a specific range of policies, not a politician who has to balance constituencies—they are supposed to be spokespeople for one particular constituency.

…one thing groups like NARAL have a tendency to do is accept vaguely acceptable-sounding or politically popular bills in an effort to remain in the center, believing their group’s moderate credentials — see also their early endorsement of Lincoln Chafee — somehow important. The alternative strategy — practiced by the NRA, among others — would be to wage all-out war on even these minor encroachments, thus fighting to shift the center left.

This strategy of trying to join the center rather than move it is a damaging one. If NARAL were totally dogmatic and absolutist, that would make life much easier on Democrats who could occasionally show their “centrism” by voting against NARAL-opposed legislation that actually doesn’t much matter. Instead, however, to demonstrate independence on choice, Democrats end up supporting much more onerous and repulsive legislation, because just aping NARAL’s priorities line doesn’t win them any points in the media. Elected politicians, after all, often have to remain “in the center.” Independent interest groups, on the other hand, can spend their time trying to redefine what “the center” is. NARAL — and others on the left — should do more to exploit that freedom.

Digby also reiterates this very important point.

I do not think NARAL understands its function anymore. It is not a politician from a conservative district who won with only a few percentage points and needs to pander. It is not a political party that needs to gloss over differences to come to consensus. It is an advocacy organization. Its job is to hold the line and then move the debate their way.

If this is true for NARAL, how much more appropriate is it for the independent voices we look for on blogs? The job of the blogger is not to triangulate and strain to express some hypothetical view of some nebulous ‘moderate’—it’s to state his or her opinion, unmellowed by that fawning desire to appeal to a majority. Our readers are presumably sampling multiple online sources, and what we have to expect is that they will make up their own minds on the basis of those many inputs, and the real arrogance is to pretend that we can read those minds and aspire to represent a majority. We can’t and we don’t. We are nothing but the enabled and accessible voices for nations of one.

I am strongly pro-choice, so much so that my views probably make many other pro-choice people uncomfortable…and that should be OK. I am not trying to stand for a consensus, I am staking out my position.

This is also true for my views on other aspects of the political argument, on science and evolution, and on religion vs. atheism. I simply do not understand why apologists for religion, for instance, think they need to carp at me and tell me to be less radical, to moderate my stance and to quit alienating those hypothetical fence-sitters that they are trying to woo. That’s not my job. My goal is to shift the debate towards my position (without expecting that everyone will adopt my specific views), and I can’t accomplish that by letting the rope go slack and drifting towards someone else’s position.

So, loud and proud, baby. Fight for your ideas, not those that someone else tells you are examples of what the majority wants to hear. Majorities are made of individuals, and the only way we’ll ever get an honest consensus is if everyone is singing out frankly for their own beliefs.

Reason #1 to vote for Pharyngula

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Really, I wasn’t going to make a big deal of this award, but then Phil had to go and mock the noble name of Pharyngula, and make it all a challenge. Now as a matter of honor I have to try and defeat the Bad Astronomy blog.

I have to do this. If you read that post, it is revealed that Phil has posed nude for the SkepDude calendar. This is a troubling precedent, I’m sure you’ll all agree that we shouldn’t encourage bloggers to let it all hang out in public like that.

Vote for Pharyngula. Unless you want me to pose nekkid.