The grass spiders are invading the science building now

At last, I’m useful! I was called to a colleague’s office because a big ol’ spider was squatting on their papers, staring at them, so I was summoned to capture the beast. I wasn’t too useful, though, since it fled under the desk and we couldn’t find it again. But later a brave student, Sophie, encountered it and scooped it up, and here it is. It’s Agelenopsis, a grass spider, perfectly harmless, but good sized for its species.

I will remind everyone that we’re hiring an ecologist, and one of the bonuses of working here is that I’ll be at your beck and call to handle any office spiders. Or if I fail, we have many bold strong students who are not at all intimidated by monstrous creatures.

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Biology is always more complicated than you expect

The first sign of a biased dilettante is when they try to reduce biological phenomena to a single parameter that exhibits a straightforward linear effect. It’s true of IQ, and it’s also true of testosterone. This is an excellent video that discusses the complex relationship of testosterone levels to athletic performance.

Why, it’s almost as if there are a thousand parameters, each nudging performance this way or that, and acting in a combinatorial fashion!

So…an atmosphere of super-heated steam? Sounds nice.

I’ve been seeing a lot of excitement about this new discovery on an extrasolar planet: it’s got water.

“We know that water vapor exists in the atmospheres of one extrasolar planet and there is good reason to believe that other extrasolar planets contain water vapor,” said Travis Barman, an astronomer at the Lowell Observatory in Arizona who made the discovery.

That’s cool. Not at all surprising, but cool. I shouldn’t think it unexpected that H2O is found throughout the universe. I’ve also been seeing naive gushing about prospects for colonizing other worlds. They never seem to take the other parameters of this planet into account.

HD209458b is separated from its star by only about 4 million miles (7 million kilometers)-about 100 times closer than Jupiter is to our Sun-and is so hot scientists think about it is losing about 10,000 tons of material every second as vented gas.

It’s also 220 times the mass of Earth and has a surface (I’m curious about what kind of surface this gas giant has) temperature of about 1000°C. Since it’s 159 light years away, I won’t be taking a vacation there in my lifetime.

Well, when you put it that way, maybe I’d like to visit, just a little bit.

Correction: the latest buzz is about K2-18b, a rocky planet that is only 7-10 times Earth’s mass, and a mere 110 light years away. Compared to HD209458b, it’s a paradise practically right next door!

How to interpret the data they’ve got seems to be complicated.

Ingo Waldman, on the University College London team, explained that three different scenarios fit the data equally well: The atmosphere could be pure hydrogen with lots of water, or the atmosphere could contain hydrogen and nitrogen with just a little bit of water. Or a third option allows for a hydrogen atmosphere, a “tiny speck” of water, and high-altitude clouds or hazes that obscure the view.

Benneke and his colleagues throw in another option: liquid water in addition to water vapor. Their calculations suggest that it could rain in the mid-atmosphere of this world.

I don’t think that, after our quick jaunt for a vacation on K2-18b, we’re going to be breathing that atmosphere. H2 on Earth is present in less than one part per million, so that they’re even discussing how much hydrogen fills the skies of K2-18b is a little off-putting.

We’re hiring an ecologist!

Hey! Hey, you! The University of Minnesota Morris is offering employment to an ecologist! Apply now!

(Special attention will be paid to anyone studying arachnid ecology…OW. OK, OK, fellow UMM biologists, I admit that’s not true, stop punching me. I’m not even on the search committee. See the description below for the real requirements: “broadly trained ecologists with expertise at the community, landscape, and/or ecosystem level who connect basic and applied ecology“. At least it doesn’t exclude arachnid ecology.)

Assistant Professor of Biology
University of Minnesota, Morris

The University of Minnesota, Morris seeks an individual committed to excellence in undergraduate education, to fill a tenure-track position in biology beginning August 17, 2020. Responsibilities include: Teaching undergraduate biology courses including sophomore biodiversity with lab, ecology with lab, electives in the applicant’s areas of expertise, and other courses that support the Biology, Environmental Science, and Environmental Studies programs; advising undergraduates; conducting research that could involve undergraduates; and sharing in the governance and advancement of the Biology program, the division, interdisciplinary programs, and the campus.

Applicants must hold or expect to receive a Ph.D. in ecology or a related field by August 17, 2020. Experience and evidence of excellence in teaching undergraduate biology is required (graduate TA experience is acceptable). Preference will be given to applicants who are able to develop and teach upper-level elective courses in their area of expertise that complement those offered by the current biology faculty (https://academics.morris.umn.edu/biology/biology-faculty). We strongly encourage applications from broadly trained ecologists with expertise at the community, landscape, and/or ecosystem level who connect basic and applied ecology. We particularly value research that can involve the habitats endemic to our region.

A distinctive undergraduate campus within the University of Minnesota system, the University of Minnesota Morris combines a student-centered residential liberal arts education with access to the resources and opportunities of one of the nation’s largest universities. A founding member of the Council of Public Liberal Arts Colleges (COPLAC), UMN Morris provides students with a rigorous academic experience, preparing them to be global citizens who value and pursue intellectual growth, civic engagement, intercultural competence, and environmental stewardship. The student body of nearly 1600 is supported by approximately 130 faculty members with a student/faculty ratio of 13:1. UMN Morris serves one of the most diverse student bodies in Minnesota. Forty percent of UMN Morris students are Native American, persons of color, or of international origin. UMN Morris is the only federally recognized Native American Serving Non-Tribal Institution in the Upper Midwest.

UMN Morris is highly ranked by national publications – U.S. News & World Report as a top-ten public liberal arts college; Forbes as one of the best colleges and universities in the nation; and Fiske Guide to Colleges includes Morris campus in its list of “the best” and “most interesting” schools in the U.S., Canada, and the United Kingdom. Morris students are taught by a faculty with the highest per capita representation in the University of Minnesota’s Academy of Distinguished Teaching and students consistently win national awards, as demonstrated by UMN Morris’s status among the top baccalaureate institutions producing student Fulbright awards. The campus is also a national leader in sustainability, evidenced by receipt of the inaugural Excellence in Sustainability award from the National Association of College and University Business Officers and an AASHE STARS Gold rating.

This tenure-track position carries all of the privileges and responsibilities of University of Minnesota faculty appointments. A sound retirement plan, excellent fringe benefits and a collegial atmosphere are among the benefits that accompany the position. Appointment will be at the Assistant Professor level for those having the Ph.D. in hand and at the Instructor level for those whose Ph.D. is pending. The standard teaching load is twenty credit hours per year.

Applications must include a letter of application describing how working at a small liberal arts college fits into your career plan, a curriculum vitae, copies of graduate and undergraduate transcripts, a teaching statement documenting teaching effectiveness, a research statement proposing a research program that is viable at a small liberal arts college and accessible to undergraduates, and three letters of reference. To apply for this position go to the University of Minnesota Employment System at https://humanresources.umn.edu/jobs. The job ID # is 333212. Please click the Apply button and follow the instructions. Attach a cover letter, curriculum vitae and as many supporting documents as are allowed. Additional supporting documents may be emailed to: Ann Kolden, Administrative Assistant, at [email protected], (320) 589-6301, or they may be sent to:

Ecology Search Committee Chair
Division of Science and Mathematics
University of Minnesota, Morris
Morris, MN 56267-2128

Applications will be accepted until the position is filled. Screening begins October 18, 2019. Inquiries can be made to Ann Kolden, Executive Office and Administrative Specialist, at (320) 589-6301 or [email protected].

The University of Minnesota shall provide equal access to and opportunity in its programs, facilities, and employment without regard to race, color, creed, religion, national origin, gender, age, marital status, familial status, disability, public assistance status, membership or activity in a local commission created for the purpose of dealing with discrimination, veteran status, sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.

UMN Morris values diversity in its students, faculty, and staff. UMN Morris is especially interested in qualified candidates who can contribute to the diversity of our community through their teaching, research, and /or service because we believe that diversity enriches the University experience for everyone.

This publication/material is available in alternative formats upon request. Please contact Human Resources, 320-589-6024, Room 201, Behmler Hall, Morris, Minnesota.

Eat at Subway

After I was done protesting yesterday (lie: we’re never done protesting), it was late, it had been a long day, and I was too tired to cook, so I just picked up some wraps at Subway. The Sandwich Artist, who is also a student at UMM, said, “Hey, aren’t you really into spiders?” Yes, of course, my reputation is spreading, I guess. “There’s a big spider on the window over there, it’s been here for several days.”

Of course I looked.

I came back this morning when the light was good, with my camera. There she was, with a big orb web against the glass…Argiope aurantia.

It was impressive, especially since it’s been so chilly lately. I noticed the stabilimentum on the web are rather disorganized and scraggly — a kind of disordered denser mess around the center of the orb here. But she was huge and pretty, and most conveniently right at eye height. This was shot with just my 17-85mm zoom lens, nothing fancy, and I’m tempted to go back later with my good macro setup and get some closeups.

That is not a spider

Grrr. The CBC got me excited with a headline about “the granddaddy of spiders”. It’s not a spider. It’s a Cambrian chelicerate, which ought to be cool news enough without pretending it’s some kind of familiar organism. At least it wasn’t SciTech, which called it a frightening 500-million year old predator” or LiveScience, which called it a “nightmare creature”. C’mon, people. It was a couple of centimeters long. I do not like this pop sci nonsense that has to jack up the significance of a discovery by pretending it was scary. Does this look scary to you?

a–c, Reconstructions. a, Lateral view. b, Dorsal view (the gut has been removed for clarity). c, Isolated trunk exopod. an, anus; lam, lamellae.

At least the article by the discoverers is sensible. This is an early Cambrian chelicerate with those big old feeding appendages at the front of the head (which spiders also have) and with modified limb appendages that resemble book lungs (also a spider trait), but they are most definitely not spiders. They are their own beautiful clade, and cousins of Mollisonia plenovenatrix might have been spider ancestors, but calling them spiders is like excavating an ancient fish and calling it a mammal. Very misleading.

Yes, I’m being pedantic. It matters. Let’s not diminish the diverse chelicerates by calling them spider wanna-bes.

Here’s the abstract for the paper.

The chelicerates are a ubiquitous and speciose group of animals that has a considerable ecological effect on modern terrestrial ecosystems—notably as predators of insects and also, for instance, as decomposers. The fossil record shows that chelicerates diversified early in the marine ecosystems of the Palaeozoic era, by at least the Ordovician period. However, the timing of chelicerate origins and the type of body plan that characterized the earliest members of this group have remained controversial. Although megacheirans have previously been interpreted as chelicerate-like, and habeliidans (including Sanctacaris) have been suggested to belong to their immediate stem lineage, evidence for the specialized feeding appendages (chelicerae) that are diagnostic of the chelicerates has been lacking. Here we use exceptionally well-preserved and abundant fossil material from the middle Cambrian Burgess Shale (Marble Canyon, British Columbia, Canada) to show that Mollisonia plenovenatrix sp. nov. possessed robust but short chelicerae that were placed very anteriorly, between the eyes. This suggests that chelicerae evolved a specialized feeding function early on, possibly as a modification of short antennules. The head also encompasses a pair of large compound eyes, followed by three pairs of long, uniramous walking legs and three pairs of stout, gnathobasic masticatory appendages; this configuration links habeliidans with euchelicerates (‘true’ chelicerates, excluding the sea spiders). The trunk ends in a four-segmented pygidium and bears eleven pairs of identical limbs, each of which is composed of three broad lamellate exopod flaps, and endopods are either reduced or absent. These overlapping exopod flaps resemble euchelicerate book gills, although they lack the diagnostic operculum. In addition, the eyes of M. plenovenatrix were innervated by three optic neuropils, which strengthens the view that a complex malacostracan-like visual system might have been plesiomorphic for all crown euarthropods. These fossils thus show that chelicerates arose alongside mandibulates as benthic micropredators, at the heart of the Cambrian explosion.

I think this diagram illustrates the relationship of M. plenoventrix to spiders well.

a, Simplified consensus tree of a Bayesian analysis of panarthropod relationships. This tree is based on a matrix of 100 taxa and 267 characters. Extant taxa are in blue; dashed branches represent questionable groupings. Asterisk shows that the radiodontans resolved as paraphyletic. This analysis excludes pycnogonids, but this had little effect on the topology. The letters A to D at the basal panchelicerate nodes refer to boxes on the right, and summarize the appearances of major morpho-anatomical features: (1) extension of cephalic shield, including a seventh tergite; (2) cephalic limbs all co-opted for raptorial and masticatory functions, and reduction of some trunk endopods; (3) dissociation of the exopod from the main limb branch; (4) presence of chelicerae; (5) trunk exopods made of several overlapping lobes; (6) some cephalic limbs differentiated as uniramous walking legs; (7) multi-lobate exopod covered by sclerite (operculum); (8) reduction of seventh cephalic appendage pair; and (9) all post-frontal cephalic limb pairs are uniramous walking legs. b, Life reconstruction. Drawing by J. Liang, copyright Royal Ontario Museum

Not a spider, but still cute and adorable.

Aria C, Caron J-B (2019) A middle Cambrian arthropod with chelicerae and proto-book gills. Nature https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-019-1525-4.

The MIT Media Lab is going to be getting some intense scrutiny

The Chronicle of Higher Education has now noticed Caleb Harper’s “Food Computer”. It’s a long article, and a good chunk of it focuses on the novel funding setup MIT has for the Media Lab — it’s basically a semi-autonomous unit set loose to harvest money from rich people (that’s the good part) with relatively little oversight on the quality of the work done with that money (the bad part). So while some people are screaming “You accepted money from pedophile!”, others are now yelling “And you spent it on WHAT?!!?“.

If I were employed by the Media Lab, I’d be scrambling to update my CV and apply for jobs that would allow me to run away before someone wrote a revealing article about my project to teach spiders how to solder circuit boards … which hasn’t worked once, but boy howdy did Silicon Valley like my idea of replacing small Asian children with even cheaper spiders.

Hey, isn’t that what science is supposed to be all about, skimming creamy rich money off our excess of gullible, over-hyped tech billionaires? That’s what the MIT Media Lab was all about anyway. It’s Harper’s turn to be exposed and ridiculed, but I’m wondering what other fantasy-land projects were cooking over there.

But let’s give Caleb Harper a chance to defend himself.

Harper’s optimism helps raise money, and without money he won’t be able to see this dream of an international network of food computers come true. His critics, he said, “are basically jealous because I raise a lot of funding while giving away knowledge for free.” Harper also said that he doesn’t mislead the public. He’s explained his progress in great detail in a series of Medium posts, he said. Some may have misinterpreted his vision as current reality, he said, but if they listened closely they would not be mistaken. “Can you email a tomato to someone today? No,” he said. “Did I say that in my TED talk? Yes. Did I say it was today? No. I said, you will be able to email a tomato.”

It’s true that Harper didn’t quite say that food computers can email tomatoes or apples, though you could be forgiven for thinking exactly that. He frequently leaves the impression that the project has achieved, or is on the brink of achieving, an enormous breakthrough. It’s a style that has attracted the sort of high-profile attention, not to mention corporate funding, that fuels projects at the MIT Media Lab, and his willingness to showcase food computers beset with problems feels consistent with Ito’s “deploy or die” philosophy.

So his dream is to be able to email a tomato (or more precisely, a set of instructions to a “food computer” that will allow it to replicate the exact growing conditions for a specific tomato), so he’s doing this fun thing of making an extravagant claim (“email a tomato”) while simultaneously admitting that he can’t, and is building boxes that allow him to fake emailing a tomato. It reminds me of Fritz Leiber’s SF story, “Poor Superman”, about a scientology-like cult that invents wild stories of colonies on Mars and super-technology, knowing they’re false, but justifying them by saying they have to pretend to convince people to implement the reality.

Here’s the final word from a real working crop scientist on this story:

She also labels this approach “Sugar Daddy Science”, in which you just have to court an ignorant patron to siphon off money into your pocket for your bad ideas.

Tsk.

I wonder about this all the time!

Well, not specifically Buckingham Palace, though…

Original by Hannah Hillam

I go into some ramshackle old garage on some rental property that was probably built in the 1940s, and I wonder when the spiders first colonized it, and how much turnover there is in spider populations, and if there is a pattern of expansion and contraction in some families of spiders in a neighborhood. So yeah, exactly the same.