How dare cartoonists make fun of atheists? We are not to be mocked!
You know what this demands, right? Rioting in the streets! That’s right — all you True Atheists will get off your butts right now and go set an embassy or a cartoonist, whichever is handiest, on fire.
Or not.
You do want to watch Blake Stacey’s Friday Bill Hicks—it’s almost as good as a Friday Cephalopod, and 1.7 times as offensive.
Dinosaurs wore polyester leisure suits! This discovery pegs the Cretaceous at about 1970, so we’re going to have to readjust the timescale everywhere.
(via Zeno)
Especially poems that talk about origami thoracotomies—they’re like a shortcut to my heart.
Stephen Jossler has made a dazzling breakthrough in reconciling science and religion. He believes evolution occurred by natural mechanisms during the whole of the history of the earth (science!), except during the Triassic period, when a creator god intervened to create the diversity of life during that 40-50 million year interval. Before: genetics. During: God. After: genetics again.
It sounds crazy, but then…
Everything about the Triassic period points to divine involvement. Let me ask you this: Could some kind of random genetic chance make the population of shelled cephalopods grow significantly? No, of course not. So the only logical explanation is that there was an infinite and all-knowing cephalopod creator who modified their mollusk foot into a muscular hydrostat that eventually, on the sixth day, became tentacles.
And a great white light shone upon me from the heavens, and I fell to my knees shouting, “Hallelujah, O Great Triassic Cephalopod God!” And I was as one stricken, writhing in the Glory of the Lord, and when I arose I was not lost, but was consecrated to the Truth and the Way and the Divided Foot, Amen.
A couple of Los Angelenos visited Canada and found themselves feeling strangely relaxed…and they have an explanation.
Lovely Wife developed an excellent theory. The coffee at Tim Horton’s, Canada’s ubiquitous coffee chain, is heavily drugged. Canada would be a non-stop raging 28 Days Later apocalypse if not for the fact we’re kept sedated. She’s working on the screenplay now.
That perfectly explains the mellow reputation of the only Tim Horton’s addict I know. Whatever you do, don’t deprive him of his fix!
I have no idea what that crazy left-wing nutcase Tom Tomorrow is talking about in this week’s comic—it’s got these unrealistic aliens babbling unbelievable nonsense that just doesn’t belong in the real world. Someone explain it to me.
Trust the internet to lower the bar again.
(via 3quarksdaily)
Fresh off his earthshaking debunking of the whole of evolutionary biology with his classic “banana” and “coke can” arguments, Ray Comfort has a compelling new argument against atheism: the electricity argument. It’s a little story about “three wise fools” who are exposed to electricity for the first time, and who refuse to believe in this amazing invisible force, and refuse even to test it. Obviously, the “wise fools” are supposed to be modern scientists, and the invisible force they refuse to acknowledge is a god. Comfort tells the tale to make the scientists look like obstinate idiots who refuse to look at the evidence in the natural world and instead make rabbinical arguments about authorities and texts and…hey, wait a minute! Who’s being parodied here?
Anyway, his parable is a patent lie, and he completely misrepresented the events in the encounter. I know. I was there. The full and accurate transcript of the actual test follows.
