I was in the lab, feeding the baby spiders, when I discovered something peculiar. I popped to tops on the spider vials, and they were fine, all placid and polite and saying “please” and “thank you” and just being all around delightful boys and girls, like always.
Then I gathered up a bunch of flies, and they were freaked out and hyper. Usually I can rely on them to scurry to the edge of the container, where I flick them one by one to the spiders. Not today! They were rushing about, charging the opening, and leaping to their doom by themselves, which was bad, because flies are stupid, and without my assist they often miss the open vials. It also made it difficult to control how many flies went to each spider, so some are feasting well, others got their usual fare, and more flies than usual ended up running off to feed the feral spiders living in my lab.
It was as if they’d heard that their Lord had become a crappy one term president, and they’d all decided to run in circles, scream and shout. They all still ended up juice in the guts of a spider, and eventually multicolored poop spots on the floor of a cage.
Which reminds me, I’ve got a major lab cleanup ahead of me, which I’m not going to have time to do until the semester is over. I hope the flies settle down and resign themselves to their fate by then.
Would a news blackout in your lab help? Since you built that blackout enclosure, perhaps a Faraday cage around it would keep the flies isolated and ignorant. Like their 2-legged brethren.
They did the Mash. They did the Spider Mash.
Sorry, I almost broke into song reading that intro, though I can’t quite get the meter to fit.
more flies than usual ended up running off to feed the feral spiders living in my lab.
Wait, you have feral AND domesticated spiders? How much longer before you’re living in a hollowed out volcano?
I thought Pence was the designated Beelzebub in this administration.
Also, if you can’t quite set that intro to music, it can definitely be read in a Boris Karloff voice.
When in trouble, or in doubt
Run in circles, scream and shout.
Giddy day what with the election ‘n stuff. Last comment and I’ll go shake off the sillies and leave you alone, but really it only needs a little work.
Torturing stupid flies. The diary of the ghoulish mad scientist continues.
If you have read Stanislaw Lem’s SETI novella ‘His Master’s Voice’ you will be familiar with the ‘Lord of the Flies’ effect when testing certain aspects of unknown alien technology.