He’s persistent, I’ll say that for him. I first encountered Mark McMenamin as an enthusiastic promoter of Stuart Pivar’s inflatable donut model of development. He then sank from sight, along with the pretentious septic tank salesmen, until two years ago, when he presented piles of ichthyosaur vertebrae as evidence that a giant cephalopod, a kraken, had been creating Mesozoic art by arranging the disks into a self portrait.
You may laugh now.
He presented at the Denver GSA meeting this year. Here’s his abstract.
THE KRAKEN’S BACK: NEW EVIDENCE REGARDING POSSIBLE CEPHALOPOD ARRANGEMENT OF ICHTHYOSAUR SKELETONS
MCMENAMIN, Mark A.S. and SCHULTE MCMENAMIN, Dianna L., Geology and Geography, Mount Holyoke College, South Hadley, MA 01075
In 2011, we hypothesized that extremely large Triassic cephalopods may be responsible for certain anomalous aspects of an unusual assemblage of giant ichthyosaur skeletons in the Luning Formation of Nevada. The hypothesis has been criticized by researchers who do not accept the ichnological evidence suggesting that the skeletons were deliberately arranged rather than being deposited by currents.
Hydrodynamic considerations regarding the probability of displacement (PD) of ichthyosaur vertebral centra arrays (n=12) show that three different biserial arrangements have PDs of 17%, 89% and 100% respectively by currents strong enough to displace a single centra. The critical Specimen U array at Berlin‑Ichthyosaur State Park has PD=~100, indicating that it is highly unlikely that the biserial pattern was imparted by submarine currents. The unwinnowed wackestone matrix confirms that competent water velocities did not frequently occur in this deep-water depositional environment. The Luning Formation also hosts Protopaleodictyon ichnosp. and supergiant amphipods.
We recently obtained photographs of a retired exhibit formerly on display at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, Museum of Natural History. The display reconstructed a well‑preserved Shonisaurus skeleton as it was found in the field. The exhibit is well documented by photographs from a variety of vantage points. The skeleton appears to have been partly disassembled during the Triassic, and a biserial array of centra very similar to the Specimen U array occurs adjacent to the nearly complete skeleton. The UNLV array has a PD=~100, again indicating that the biserial pattern was not the result of current assembly. Finally, at least three of these centra show what may be triangular bite marks removed from their margins.
His latest evidence consists of a second array of vertebrae in a line (that’s right, his earlier remarkable claim was based on a single example of bones in a line), and he is also claiming that a non-random arrangement of the bones can only be explained by an intelligent cephalopod, with no other natural processes possible.
Furthermore, as the Huffington Post credulously (their only mode) reports, he has additional evidence in the form of a giant fossilized beak. Here it is:
It’s a fragmented, unidentified chunk of rock, a few inches long, which he extrapolates by comparison to a Humboldt squid beak he bought on eBay to be the tip of a giant beak belonging to a squid that was between 50 and 100 meters long.
That’s it. When ichthyosaurs decay, their vertebrae tend to fall in a line, and here’s a broken rock that kinda vaguely looks like a bit of a beak, and from this he builds this elaborate fantasy of a giant kraken roaming Triassic seas crushing ichthyosaurs to death and then sculpting their bones into squid pictures.
He should go back to praising balloon animals.
Whoops. I neglected to mention another indictment of his rationality: McMenamin is a “devout Christian” who also believes in Intelligent Design creationism.
My name is Mark McMenamin. I have completed a PhD on the fossils of the Cambrian Explosion, have published several books on the subject, and am a devout Christian. At the present time I am actively researching the latest fossil discoveries from Cambrian boundary strata.
chigau (違う) says
I see Jesus…
Bess Mullaney says
He really uses Comic Sans in an abstract and expects to be taken seriously?
Markita Lynda—threadrupt says
I believe that PZ displays some people’s words in MS Comic Sans to emphasize how simple they are.
Perhaps someone should take Kraken Man out to a beach, show him the skeleton of a dead fish, and ask him to identify the species of squid that arranged it thus.
michaelbusch says
And I am reminded why I think conference abstracts need to be screened…
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Bess @ 2:
Comic sans is used here as a way to denote the absurd.
Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says
When a double-facepalm isn’t enough, cue the musical theme to the Twilight Zone.
shallit says
I think that Prof. Mcmenamin’s perspicacity can be fairly judged from his praise of Stephen Meyer’s latest book.
otrame says
There is a reason why the following is sometimes mistaken for a real letter. As anyone who has been associated with paleontology or archaeology can tell you, this isn’t all that far off the mark:
Richard Smith says
Although the season is just past, a paraphrase seems appropriate…
“You’re right. No natural phenomenon would arrange ichthyosaur vertebrae like this.”
gussnarp says
And National Geographic wants me to register to read an article headlined “Did Ancient Sea Monsters Turn Prey into Art?” with the inevitable answer no? I think not.
Larry says
Sort of the Mesozoic equivalent to crop circles, I guess. No man could have done them, therefore, aliens! Only, in this case, no natural process could have arranged the ichthyosaur bones this way, therefore, artsy-fartsy squid!
debbaasseerr says
Hey, if *I* was a giant squid and wanted to leave a self portrait – vertebrae in a line would be exactly how I would do it.
Ogvorbis: Apologies Available for All! says
I wonder when Mark McMenamin will come to the realization that the assortment of fossilized mesozoic megafauna exposed at the Carnegie Quarry (currently Dinosaur National Monument) is actually proof (Proof, I tell you!) that mesozoic fresh-water giant squid were actually playing a very spirited game of Pick Up Sticks ?
Sastra says
michaelbush #4 wrote:
Well, the Girl Scouts of America did their best …
Wait, maybe there was some other GSA meeting in Denver.
gussnarp says
@Ogvorbis #13: Your link is broken, but it’s got my new favorite 404 messages:
Daz: Experiencing A Slight Gravitas Shortfall says
Damn those incompetent water velocities!
NelC says
Giant cephalopods? Pshaw! Clearly the work of BLUE HADES.
michaelbusch says
@Sastra:
For the uninitiated: the GSA is the Geological Society of America. It organizes pretty big meetings. Being a planetary scientist, I don’t go to them. I go to the American Astronomical Society’s Division for Planetary Sciences meetings instead (as it happens, DPS was also in Denver this year – a couple of weeks before GSA).
Like most large science conferences, both GSA and DPS get a certain amount of garbage abstracts. The worst one I’ve personally seen was someone claiming that there was life on Venus – after looking at the Venera images and mistaking the discarded lens cover of the camera for a creature. I recognize the importance of not restricting people’s expression of ideas, but blatant nonsense like that and like the McMenamins’ really should be screened for and rejected by the conference organizers.
pHred says
Well this makes me feel much better about the fact I couldn’t go this year even though I am technically sponsoring a poster session. I actually read the abstacts that I accept!
Ogvorbis: Apologies Available for All! says
gusnarp:
Sorry. I fail again.
Just google ‘pick up sticks gamete”.
Ogvorbis: Apologies Available for All! says
Shit. Game, not gamete. Where in the name of the seven purple pluperfect levels of hell did that come from?
mothra says
And he is sure this is Jurassic and not Halletstonian.
bachfiend says
Well, Mark McMenamin did give the thumbs-up to Stephen Meyer’s ‘Darwin’s Doubt’.
Oh, wait…
I had an entertaining time conversing with him on his review of the DI film ‘Darwin’s Dilemma’ on Amazon. He’s a hardcore Christian, insisting that miracles prove that God exists. He concedes that most are doubtful and open to other interpretations, but claims that just one genuine miracle would do it. And he provides one … not. He linked to a single old newspaper article reporting a statue in a Californian Catholic church weeping blood. With no analysis of the ‘blood’ – whether it’s actually blood, and if so, what is the ethnic origin of the blood (it was a Vietnamese church, so I’d expect that if it were blood, it would be south-east Asian not middle eastern, and would also have synthetic anticoagulants such as EDTA – another miracle!)
aggressivePerfector says
I thought unwinnowed wackestone matrix must be a mathematical technique. Disappointed, now that I’ve looked it up.
corvus says
I know this one! I know this one! It’s “Evolution.”
http://www.besse.at/sms/evolutn.html
jagwired says
Ogvorbis: Apologies Available for All!:
Freudian slip? You’re always thinking about sex, aren’t you?
Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says
Far more cynical. All marketers know how sex cells.
anchor says
Dem bones, dem bones…
Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Iron Chef Batallion says
The only publishing title that seems appropriate here is “How not to write Lovecraft fanfic”
Anything else is just brain-saddeningly absurd.
Numenaster says
Not one of the sharper knives in the drawer of the family brewpub chain, is he. I will never look at the extremely hallucinatory wall murals in the Barley Mill Pub the same way again.
jfigdor says
Christ on a cracker, this guy has an undergrad degree from Stanford, a PhD from UCSB, and is a tenured prof/dept. chair at a renowned liberal arts school like Mount Holyoake? What happened to their standards?
anchor says
One would think he should have been able to identify some decent fossilized sucker marks
Ogvorbis: Apologies Available for All! says
jagwired @25:
What is it about this grope? One innocent Homage to Tpyos and all of a sudden I’m a sex manioc. I’ll have you know I can go a long time without thinking of sex.
Just last week, I watched a flock of sheep for tup or three minutes and never thought about sex. This morning, I had a bagel and never once (after I ate it) thought about the suggestive center. Last night, I had a cucumber and there’s nothing suggestive about that. And now, I’m going to go out and smoke a big fat cigar.
Azkyroth @27:
Bad pun. No
sexdonut for you!PZ Myers says
Becoming a department head requires absolutely NO knowledge of science — it’s a purely political position.
ShowMetheData says
From his Amazon review of and ID film Darwin’s Dilemma
On the other hand, the Intelligent Design community needs to be careful, lest it seem to be dictating to God how He can or cannot create. It would be theologically problematic and silly to presume to allow God to create in one way (instantaneous fiat), but not in another (change through time).
We also have to leave God the option of existing or not existing as well.
Who are we to demand his existence because we can only know him through his strange … but wondrous… absence.
And he is absent because we are not worthy … yet!
ShowMetheData says
Repost due to absolute quote fail
From his Amazon review of and ID film Darwin’s Dilemma
We also have to leave God the option of existing or not existing as well.
Who are we to demand his existence because we can only know him through his strange … but wondrous… absence.
And he is absent because we are not worthy … yet!
/snark
yellowsubmarine says
How the hell did this guy get Murray Gell-Mann to sign onto that first book. I mean I know the guy is like 80 years old, but jesus effing christ he’s a freaking nobel laureate! WHAT THA HELL!? O… and in physics. Why do PhD’s do that? Isn’t that a big red flag when the experts backing up the claims aren’t experts in the field the book is written for?
Holms says
I just don’t understand how this guy even got the stupid idea in the first place. Surely, if one finds a bunch of vertebrae arranged in a line, there is a fairly obvious explanation. Something like ‘because that’s how they are arranged in the living animal’.
And there I was thinking that astronomy had to rebut the most painfully ignorant psuedoscience with goddamn Nibiru.
prfesser says
Re.#31 and “what happened to their standards?”, it appears that MHC faculty are more interested in fluffyshit than standards or science. Instead of listing their professional publications and presentations, the faculty are apparently encouraged to list “News Links”. Science faculty post on important subjects such as “Darren Hamilton on World Cup Soccer” and “A Sad Day in the Neighborhood: Remembering Mr. Rogers.”
Prfesser
Thumper; Immorally Inferior Sergeant Major in the Grand Gynarchy Mangina Corps (GGMC) says
I fail to see how it is suprising that fossilised vertebrae may form a line. Sure they’re usually scattered, but considering the spine is, in fact, a straight line it’s hardly beyond the realms of possibility that the vertebrae may fossilise in a straight fucking line; or a curved line, or any other sort of line that the fossilised creature may be capable of contorting it’s spine into.
Ingdigo Jump says
Reminds me of the time we found Roman VHS tapes
Thumper; Immorally Inferior Sergeant Major in the Grand Gynarchy Mangina Corps (GGMC) says
@Ogvorbis #33
For some reason I am finding this typo absolutey, trouser-wettingly hilarious :)