It’s my afternoon for getting lots of whiny right-wing Christianist email, I guess. This one is notable, not for its content (which is predictable, humorless, and indignant, and just like most of the complaints I get), but for the fact that it was also sent to my chancellor and every member of the biology faculty. Nice work, spammer.
“Man-whore” – PZ Myers
“He (Professor Michael Behe of Lehigh University) is such a man-whore for creationism…” – PZ Myers
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/
“Man-whore.” Do you use such language in your department meetings at the University of Minnesota?
How about your classrooms? Is “man-whore” academic? Is it professional? Is it objective, and fair, and scientific?
Or is it more like what Ward Churchill would say?“To my students and advisees: I’ve emailed a few of you, but just in
case, I’m also putting this here. You’ve been trying to get in touch
with me, especially this week when registration is pending, but when
I’m not in class I’m flitting off to somewhere else. I was away in
Washington DC last Thursday afternoon through Sunday, and I’m about to
do it again with trips to Mankato tomorrow, a long weekend at a
conference in Oregon, and then zooming away again right after class on
Monday to Fergus Falls. Trust me, though, you’re not the only one
feeling a bit tired of it all.” – PZ MyersTell me, Professor Myers, do you subscribe to that Global Warming business? Do you agree that humans must, according to scientists, “cut back man-made carbon dioxide emissions in half by the year 2050” even as worldwide population increases some 40% or more? If so, per capita consumption of fossil fuels will have to be reduced by 65%. How are we all to do this when you are flying to Washington, D.C., and Mankato, and Oregon, and Fergus Falls, to name but a very few of the places someone as terribly important as you has to go? Of course you can’t videoconference. Your very presence in the room lends verily hallows everyone and everything there.
The British lead the way again!
Category: Humor
They’re so far ahead, it’s almost April 2nd there right now. And they have taken an important next step: they have passed regulations requiring the reading of disclaimers at church services:
Congregants should be aware of the gaps and/or problems
in the Catholic theory of transubstantiation, including, but not
limited to, the Protestant notion that the bread and wine are merely
symbolic, the opinions of other religions on the life of Christ, and
the lack of conclusive scientific evidence available to support this
theory.This is excellent news. I only hope our country can some day follow suit. – PZ Myers
You’re all for the government intruding into church services, but when it comes to public education, leave that to you experts? Intrude away inside churches, but keep out of the classroom. Is that your point? Why don’t you atheists just burn down all the churches. That should please you even more.
Squid and bacteria don’t need The Man
Category: Creationism
The Institute for Creation Research has just published a fairly typical article for them: it’s the usual laundry list of amazing biological structures that cry out “Jaaayzuusss!” to the faithful. – PZ Myers
Is there anything you atheists enjoy more than mocking and ridiculing the religious beliefs of Christians? Anything at all? Are there no Christians on UMN’s faculty? None at all?
That would indeed be odd, considering that some 85% of Americans profess a belief in God.Uh-oh. If Goldberg had his way, I’d be off to Gitmo if he saw the back
end of my car. I don’t just have a Darwin fish — I’ve got a T. rex eating a Christian fish. – PZ MyersOops! T. rex lived millions of years before there ever were any Christians, so T. rex could hardly be eating a “Christian fish.” Nice try though.
His (Jonah Goldberg’s) “agreed-on etiquette” is nothing but a set of rules he applies only
to his political opponents and never to his political allies. – PZ MyersDo you apply the same rules to your political allies as you do to “man-whores” like Professor Michael Behe? Do you mock faculty members and students who believe in “Jaaayzuusss” in person as you do on your website of hatred and intolerance? And keep in mind, I’m only looking at one single page of it.
I think this will do for now. I’m not interested in, as Richard Dawkins says, “multiplying up examples” of how profoundly intolerant, and anti-intellectual, and hateful you are.
“It is safe to say that anyone who does not believe in evolution is either ignorant, stupid, wicked or insane.” – Richard Dawkins, your soul-mate
Use video conversation to talk face-to-face with Windows Live Messenger. Get started!
Oh, dear. I’m sure my colleagues will be rushing to get more details of my trespasses against Jaaayzuusss-loving man-whores from you, Dr. Intellectual.
That’s right, he signed it “Dr Intellectual”. I’m looking forward to future mail from Dr Paradigm, Dr SuperMentalGenius, and Dr Spliffarooni.
I love that the spammer didn’t get the April Fool’s joke about disclaimers in churches…
’cause you know, if PZ didn’t take those flights, the planes wouldn’t go at all. So it’s solely PZ’s fault that the carbon emissions will occur.
Wait—unless PZ is flying on private planes now. Wouldn’t that rock!
That’s awesome! Just can’t make these people up.
I’m laughing so damn hard right now…!!! This is tooo much!!
“Is there anything you atheists enjoy more than mocking and ridiculing the religious beliefs of Christians?”
Yes. We love to eat their babies even more.
Dr. Intellectual demonstrates the real problem among ID Researchers, and that is poor “framing” of counter-arguments… :-P
That’s some world class stupid!
Don’t you just love vitriolic spam telling you how hateful you are, PZ?
Is this Michael Korn’s new pseudonym?
Yes. We love to eat their babies even more.
Mmmm. Baby sashimi…especially with some wasabi and pickled fetus. *drool*
wait, he defends behe and in the same email claims that t-rex lived millions of years ago, and therefore t-rex couldn’t eat christian fish?
seems this guy doesn’t get not only jokes, he also doesn’t get contradictions and symbols.
Wow, just wow. He not only wouldn’t know a joke if it hit him on the head, but he also thinks he smart.
Somehow I’m not surprised.
Why don’t you atheists just burn down all the churches. That should please you even more.
Speaking for myself, this would please me very much. But I’ll settle for you and your damn churches not being subsidized by my tax dollars.
Why does it need the support of the U.S. government? If your houses of indoctrination are so self-reliant, then there should be no exemption.
It’s extraordinarily hypocritical to bring up government favoritism as it applies to your myth-houses.
I don’t believe it’s intended to be. It’s intended to be demeaning. It’s intended to ridicule. And like the best ridicule, it points to the essential truth.
Tee hee. Someone for whom the concept of an April Fool has passed them by.
No. Next question?
According to Fox news, 34% of them believe in ghosts and an equal number in UFOs. And we laugh at them too.
These guys are self-ridiculing. I wonder if it isn’t just a troll.
Is there anything you atheists enjoy more than mocking and ridiculing the religious beliefs of Christians?
Well, I’d put getting laid, a fresh pepperoni pizza, and a nice cold bottle of stout pretty high on the list too. But then, why wouldn’t we enjoy mocking and ridiculing you fools when you make it so easy!? Here’s some advice, completely free: If you don’t like being mocked and ridiculed, then try to refrain from saying and doing ridiculous things. See how easy that is?
It’s funny that even as they’re claiming that we censor, their reactions are always to call for censorship (that’s what the mass emails are really about) the moment they see a blog post.
They only know how to appeal to their authoritarian base, which is why they are never likely to win unless we simply decide not to fight them any more.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
I wonder if it isn’t just a troll.
in an email?
seems an odd way to troll.
I thought about replying to him to ask a really important question:
What is his first name?
I’m guessing either “Pseudo” or “Pompous”.
Shouldn’t that be “Rev. Intellectual” or “Father Intellectual” or some other such crustian tripe?
Hey, if I was going to troll, emailing PZ would be the logical course of action. :-D
Oops! T. rex lived millions of years before there ever were any Christians, so T. rex could hardly be eating a “Christian fish.” Nice try though.
I… I don’t know where to start, really. I’m too busy laughing.
A large passenger jet with all seats filled gets about 80 passenger miles per gallon, twice as much as a car considered fuel-efficient with one occupant (though nowhere close to a Smart Car’s 100mpg.) For long solo trips, flying is the most efficient way. However, many (most?) trips are unnecessary, ie vacations, business meetings where videoconferencing and exchanging data over VPN’s would do, etc.
I have nothing useful to add, these nuts leave me flabbergasted. I just want to say: Lee, I like your style. You seem to share some eloquence with that other brit dude, the one that got to see movie that pz didn’t. Don’t leave. :)
What is his first name?
Maybe it’s “Auntie”.
Hey, if I was going to troll, emailing PZ would be the logical course of action. :-D
no. without public viewing of the bait, there is no motivation to respond.
of course, in THIS case, the writer now HAS public viewing, so if that was your point…
With mail filled with such hilarity, it’s hard to imagine how you remain so sardonic!
(@ Alex #4: mmm, babies!)
It’s laughable, yes. But at the same time creepy.
This feckwit took the time to submit the mail to the chancellor and faculty. That’s pretty overt intimidation. At the minimum it is an attempt to alienate PZ from his colleagues, at worst an effort to get him censured or maybe fired.
Yup, this doctor is pretty much a class-A creep.
The esteemed gentleman seems not to have read the extensive works of that most esteemed of scholars Fra Johnny Hart.
Yours respectfully &c &c,
– Dr. Spliffarooni
“Is there anything you atheists enjoy more than mocking and ridiculing the religious beliefs of Christians?”
Yes. Watching you get red-faced sputteringly insane when we do it.
Why do these pseudo-Christian fools always run around projecting their own qualities on anyone with an IQ above room temperature?
I mean, this blathering little dickweed actually had the grapes to call PZ “anti-intellectual?” I mean, it’s not like the retard is coming across as anyone actually, you know, IN a position to make such an assertion.
I’d be laughing if it wasn’t such a common, gutless, misguided tactic by these irreparably-fucked, potatoheaded zealots.
Why don’t you atheists just burn down all the churches.
Wow, that’d emit some serious greenhouse gasses.
Why not just tax them like movie theaters, amusement parks, and strip clubs?? It’s unfair to the rest of the entertainment industry that the churches get a tax break.
Mr. Intellectual does not fool me. He loves being ‘persecuted.’
Such persecution is beyond delectable for it allows Mr. I. to get it on with Jebus via his personalized imaginery hotline (aka praying) and commiserate with his Savior, muttering: “when they pierced your flesh, it must have felt just like when these new atheists criticize my faith. Oooooh, I feel so close to you now, Jebus, but I want to feel closer, so I think I will stop praying just for a little while and peruse that lovely, oops, wretched atheist’s maddeningly popular blog, to be able to feel even closer to you. I love you Jebus, but PZ Myers is the light and the way to you! Bye for now, see you soon.”
Damn, PZ! ANY Evil Scientist worth his island lair is traveling by matter transmitter nowadays! Sheeshe….
So how often do the flights between Morris and Mankato run? Maybe you should suck it up a bit and take the high-speed commuter rail instead.
Hopefully a lot of us also got email today: from Motive Marketing, promoting the release of a bunch of new on-the-web film clips.
What a maroon! Cause your peers couldn’t just read your public blog posts or anything! LOL
is ‘man-whore’ scientific??
probably not, therefore evolution didnt happen and GODIDIT!!!!!!!!
I suppose you could ask are there ‘man-whores’ once one is defined, and I suppose it could be any man who has sex with over say 10 different partners in a year, if thats so then it would be quite easy to determine (well to a point) how many man whores there are or were in any given population!!
Who could it be, I wonder?
Who is so astoundingly stupid, and so neurotic in their persecution complex, that they would take seriously something posted on April 1st, while they themselves are composing their e-mail on April 2nd?
Hm.
Do the e-mail headers bear any resemblance to those of Mark Armitage’s e-mail?
What is his first name?
How about Dr. Ann T. Intellectual.
Because they are immoral scum? I use the word ‘immoral’ advisedly. However, anyone whose moral compass is distorted by religious dogma seems doomed to live a life full of error.
For every one of the Godly that keeps to themselves to themselves and performs good works, there seem to be many who believe they can pray away their bad deeds one day a week and sin for the remaining six. And they too often seek forgiveness in the privacy of a pew, instead of facing up to what they have done and making things right with those they have hurt.
Their morals are flawed, these worshippers of gods. I weep at the foul things they do in the name of religion.
Bwahahahaha! Choke Choke.
*Recovers* bwahahahaha! sniff
Creationists, ah, so funny.
Dr Intellectual has clearly never set foot on a university campus. Everyone knows that all biologists ever talk about is sex and evilution.
Have you ever seen us in the same room together?
Wow, that’s a new level of stupid right there.
“”Man-whore.” Do you use such language in your department meetings at the University of Minnesota? ”
I have a feeling that there will be a bit of levity injected into the next department meeting at U of M.
Someone should keep score on how many times the phrase is used. Better still, turn it into a drinking game! (You do drink at your department meetings, right?)
J. D.
Dammit, just when I was going to change my screen name to “Dr Intellectual”, someone beats me to it. Of course, I’m not a doctor, so I couldn’t do it anyway.
This just screams out, “I’m gonna tell on you, Paul! Mooooommmmmmy!”.
Poor PZ. You remind me of the kid in The Sixth Sense:
“I get email from stupid people.”
“Stupid people like, who? And how?”
“Sending email like regular people. They only hear what they want to hear. They don’t know they’re stupid.
“How often do you get email from them?”
“All the time. They’re everywhere.”
OH NO! DOES THIS MEAN WE’LL FIND OUT AT THE END THAT WE WERE ACTUALLY KILLED BY DONNIE WAHLBERG ALL THOSE YEARS AGO?!
Exactly. This thought will hunt me in my sleep. Well.. thought or fantasy, I’m not sure yet. I’ll enjoy it tho. Cheers. :)
Churches are useful. They keep loonies away from t3h intarwebs. Some of them anyway.
‘Your very presence in the room lends verily hallows everyone and everything there.’
Whoa, boy! I’m English English from a place where much of the language was invented and I can’t make sense of this. Is Verily Hallows one of your strange American actress names, and does her mother know she’s being loaned out?
What did your chancellor say?
extatyzoma at 37:
A whore is not about quantity, its about doing it for the money. PZ was referring to Behe getting $20,000 for writing a favorable review of creationist science books. Thats pretty good wages for any prostitute.
Jim
That would indeed be odd, considering that some 85% of Americans profess a belief in God.
Among the National Academy of Science personnel, which we would assume would be closer to the number for professors, this percentage is off by a bit over an order of magnitude.
I am very glad I don’t live in America, I don’t think I would be able to take the constant right wing christian arrogance.
Dan #30 “Why do these pseudo-Christian fools always run around projecting their own qualities on anyone with an IQ above room temperature?”
Fahrenheit or Centigrade?
“OH NO! DOES THIS MEAN WE’LL FIND OUT AT THE END THAT WE WERE ACTUALLY KILLED BY DONNIE WAHLBERG ALL THOSE YEARS AGO?!”
Man I think that was my alltime favorite Die-Hard sequel. Officer McClane, giant boy detective!
Yeah, but he gotcha on the T. rex / Christian fish thing. That’s a rookie mistake, man. Tyranosaurs had to have been eating Baal-worshipping fish. Or, no, probably pagan fish, or maybe even atheist fish. Because it wasn’t until God finally got around to sending his only son down a couple thousand years ago that fish could have been saved at all.*
So I guess there’s millions of years worth of nicely seared and blackened fish waiting in Hell!
yum…
*Theological conundrum: are fish saved by faith or by works? Because mine never seem to do much in the way of works.
I’d guess troll.
PZ,
This was bound to happen and there’ll probably be more negative stuff sent to your chancellor. Yes, I’m the same Lurquin who has dared to make some fun of you and even criticized you a few times.
Don’t forget that you’ll want promo to full and a good salary raise at some point in your career. Also remember that you are nowhere to be seen since 1994 or so in a Google Scholar search. Granted, the creos publish garbage in their own venues. But then, they’ll criticize you for not publishing anything at all, except your blog! That ain’t quite science as we understand it. I don’t know the standards for promo at UMM, but I think having dinner with Dawkins is not one of them.
PZ, I know what I’m talking about, I was chair of Genetics for 8 years at a research university. In my experience, once the shit hits the fan, it tends to stick to the walls. Make sure you have very good friends among the UMM faculty and administrators. If you want to know where I’m coming from just check me out on amazon.com and Google Scholar. As I mentioned in another post, one has to be squeeky clean before lashing out against others. Your minions will crap all over me but I don’t care, I’m Emeritus!!!
Good luck, and I mean that.
It’s because they eat coconuts, not fish.
What a bunch of meanie-head, bad-word saying, impolite, poo-poo faces on this blog. Ooops. I just said a bad word. Forgive me Jebus.
In my first year at law school one of my lecturers told us that anyone who uses the word “verily” is a posing wanker. She was right.
BTW I personally think Man-Whore is a very cool word and I think the odd faculty meeting could only be enlivened by the odd sprinkling of it amongst other academic speech.
Boy, who would have thought Nisbet would go so overboard?
A careful review of the syntax of the e-mail using NSA algorithms reveals that Dr. Intellectual is actually master Armitage, mounting a clever attack on PZ to deflect the criticism of his paper. It hworked–the department of the University of Leviticus put Armitage’s PhD in the mail before noticing the withering mockery on Pharyngula.
ice
Ahem. A cousin of Miss Anne Elk: that is my theory, and it is mine.
You fly to Fergus Falls and Mankato from Morris?
There’s more to this being an atheist evolutionist professor on the take from the public than a mere “Tropy Wife.”
These idiots betray themselves with abandon. You can tell by the words they toss out as apparent slander. Ward Churchill? Am I supposed to be offended or something? All I envision when I see them use these anger buzzwords is a sad little sack of a dunce standing alone in public yelling “CLINTON!” “TERRRRISTS!” “SADDAM HYOO-SAYN!” “FRAYDUM!” “CUT TAXES!” “NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN!” “POL POT!” “STALIN!”
It’s like watching the wicked witch of the west melt in front of your eyes. You can hear them getting dumber.
The idea of anyone flying to Fergus Falls or Mankato gave me the giggles, much less flying anywhere from Morris. How I wish, or certainly did when I was going to school there.
I thought that’d be the best thing I’d hear in what’s left of today, until I got to the part about how T. rex couldn’t eat Christian fish. Oddly, he seems to actually own up the to fact that dinosaurs lived millions of years before Christians; did he forget to take his crazy pills? The rest of the e-mail certainly sounds floridly crazy enough, but a fact almost seeped through his crazy “logic” there…
Okay, how do you keep that nofollow out of the href? I tried deleting it from #62 in preview mode, but it snuck back in.
The rest of the e-mail certainly sounds floridly crazy enough, but a fact almost seeped through his crazy “logic” there…
Not only floridly, but also Fluoridation. And Floridian.
Ah, I can just picture the spammer’s sneer as he typed in all the department email addresses with “I’m gonna te-ellll” singsonging in his warped little mind. I’m sure he stuck his tongue out at one point or another – and the irony of this tattletale tantrum escapes him completely.
It’s the petty christian mantra:” PERSECUTION! PERSECUTION! HE’S MAKING FUN OF RELIGIOUS PEOPLE!”,followed by:
“I’m better than you because I believe in a magical deity and you don’t (nya nya nya nya nyaaah nyaaah)….”
Hopefully your chancellor is a rational and reasonable man (or woman) who does not suffer fools gladly.
By the miracle of multiplication.
If I ever get a PhD I should definitely change my name to Spliffarooni. Think of all the diabolical confusion I could cause when my name appeared in a scientific journal and everyone assumed it was a prank!
This was bound to happen and there’ll probably be more negative stuff sent to your chancellor.
well, I’m sure the chancellor gets a good laugh out of them too.
You can’t get there from here. That is, any and all URLs (except for those in the original post) will have rel=nofollow added.
It’s to prevent spammers from getting Googlejuice.
“How are we all to do this when you are flying to Washington, D.C., and Mankato, and Oregon, and Fergus Falls”
Yeah, PZ — be sure to enjoy those flights to Mankato and Fergus Falls…
Your minions will crap all over me but I don’t care, I’m Emeritus!!!
yeah, so?
lots of nutty emeritus out there.
If you actually knew anything about how small colleges work, you’d know that it’s very unlikely that publications would help PZ’s promotion more than his teaching skills would.
why don’t you educate us more with your vast fountain of wizzdom, ex-professor?
did someone tell you to shut-up when you were still active?
did you try to be vocal about an obvious wrong and get your ass chewed for it?
do tell!
“It is safe to say that anyone who does not believe in evolution is either ignorant, stupid, wicked or insane.” – Richard Dawkins,YOUR SOUL-MATE
Uh-oh, does The Trophy Wife(tm) know?
I dunno, Paul; I’d have never heard of UMM if it hadn’t been for PZ. Pretty sure I am not unique in that respect. He may not be cuddly but universities struggle to get name recognition. Cornell was thrilled to have Carl Sagan even though he really torqued off the religious people.
If the recent debacle with “shut-up” framing is any indication, the chancellor may look at Dr. Intellectual’s email and decide PZ ain’t so bad after all.
Owlmirror: Thanks, but in the previous article, I see several comments that include links (search for “tinyurl” to find one), each of which has a nofollow, but which still act as hyperlinks. Do you know what the difference is between my nofollow and their nofollow????
Granted, the creos publish garbage in their own venues. But then, they’ll criticize you for not publishing anything at all, except your blog!
actually, even what PZ writes in his blog gets better peer review.
I would have passed up science as even an interest years ago if I knew that you were not allowed to use vulgar language or insults of any kind. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, whining about the tone of language here is the surest sign that the person has nothing to say. Nothing to argue. So they figure they are justified in trying to take one of our weapons away. Sorry, we don’t care if all you have is an epee, this is still a gunfight.
“Is there anything you atheists enjoy more than mocking and ridiculing the religious beliefs of Christians? Anything at all? ”
Sex, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream…that’s about it.
Me, I’ve had a rough week, so I’m taking a little extra pleasure in twisting the knife in these pathetic deluded wankers. Choke on a communion wafer and die. That goes double if you’re Protestant, by the way.
I can’t believe the Firefox spellchecker flags “wanker”. Also, “spellchecker”.
As long as he was being dense, Dr. Smartypants (or whatever) could have just said “Fish can’t be Christians!”
Paul F. Lurquin said:
“I don’t know the standards for promo at UMM, but I think having dinner with Dawkins is not one of them.
PZ, I know what I’m talking about, I was chair of Genetics for 8 years at a research university.”
The first of those would appear to be the correct one, Paul.
Yeah, we enjoy sex more than making fun of religious nuts. Speaking of which, what about the International Fuck For Religion event, or whatever it’s called?
Late to the thread, but I call dibs on “Dr. Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius PhD” (but only if I can have Mel Blanc* do the voice announcing me).
*I know that’s impossible….
What I find astonishing is the assumption that the chancellor and the biology faculty would be unaware of the online activities of PZ Myers. He’s merely a faculty member who’s known all over the world, is in huge, global demand for interviews and public speaking engagements, and never speaks of UMM and its students in less than glowing terms.
I’m sure that the chancellor hates that.
*Theological conundrum: are fish saved by faith or by works? Because mine never seem to do much in the way of works.
It’s works, but a little-known fact is that the work that is most valued is the prodigious creation of shit. Therefore, your fish are covered. The creationists, of course, figured this out a long time ago, QED.
“‘Man-whore.” Do you use such language in your department meetings at the University of Minnesota?”
I referred to an author as ‘ar-tard’ during a departmental meeting once. That’s close, right?
Dr. I. must stay really comfortable during those hot summer months what with the cool, cool breezes flowing between his ears and all. We’re talking major league stupid here. Its amazing that he can work the intertubes in the first place.
Even compared to rail? Not that I know what US rail is like to use.
Also, CO2 release efficient is not the same as climate change contribution efficient.
“The Radiative Forcing Index (RFI)-the ratio of total radiative forcing to that from CO2 emissions alone-is a measure of the importance of aircraft-induced climate change other than that from the release of fossil carbon alone. In 1992, the RFI for aircraft is 2.7; it evolves to 2.6 in 2050 for the Fa1 scenario.”
“Dr Spliffarooni”? Oh, I’m totally stealing that one. Not sure what I’ll use it for, but I must have it.
oh god! make the comic sans STOP!
Dunno. Maybe use quotes to properly delimit the link?
<a href=“http://URL_goes_here“>text goes here</a>
Even compared to rail? Not that I know what US rail is like to use.
Hahahahahahahaha! That’s a good one.
The east coast is the only place where rail is used much, and not even much there.
This guy’s brain has been expelled. I’ll bet his first name is Ben.
owl-
what’s the markup to use to markout the markups so they appear as text, like you just did?
It’s works, but a little-known fact is that the work that is most valued is the prodigious creation of shit.
and more fish, if conditions are right!
HTML Entities. The original text looked like this:
<a href=“http://URL_goes_here“>text goes here</a>
(&=&)
More here:
http://www.w3.org/TR/html401/sgml/entities.html
And via Google on “HTML Entities”.
school one of my lecturers told us that anyone who uses the word “verily” is a posing wanker.
Yea, verily.
Ichthyic:
To get
To get an ampersand itself, use &.
Blah, I didn’t notice that the preview page destroyed my careful formatting. Anyway, Owlmirror answered the question better and faster.
Note that using entities can be tricky because the comment system preview changes the entities into their actual characters. I use copy-and-paste a lot, and sometimes a separate editor for longer text.
school one of my lecturers told us that anyone who uses the word “verily” is a posing wanker.
did they say anything about “shat?”
Note that using entities can be tricky because the comment system preview changes the entities into their actual characters. I use copy-and-paste a lot, and sometimes a separate editor for longer text.
I was hoping there was a comment markup I missed; entities are such a hassle to use.
thanks much, though.
think I’ll stick to substitution with key reference.
:)
Poe’s law at work. I can’t make up my mind if this is a real IDiot, a random troll, or a well crafted but slightly late April Fools.
In any case, an examination of the headers in relation to IPs used to comment here and PT might provide further amusement.
The irony is delicious. I so needed a laugh today that I’m actually thanking the moronic spammer for his “deed”.
Is there anything you atheists enjoy more than mocking and ridiculing the religious beliefs of Christians? Anything at all?
Speaking for myself, yup. I’d rather be dreaming of the day when there’s nothing left to mock and ridicule.
Good luck, and I mean that.
If your advice was sincerely intended why didn’t you email it, instead of posting it on a public blog where it more closely resembles a threat?
“Oops! T. rex lived millions of years before there ever were any Christians, so T. rex could hardly be eating a “Christian fish.” Nice try though.”
He would never eat Christian fish anyway, he is too full from gorging on coconuts!
‘”It is safe to say that anyone who does not believe in evolution is either ignorant, stupid, wicked or insane.” – Richard Dawkins,YOUR SOUL-MATE
Uh-oh, does The Trophy Wife(tm) know?’
I think it’s a menage a trois. After all, they go to movies together…
I’m pacing myself through these new Expelled! clips so as not to cause permanent eye-socket damage. I just watched the one on mutation and while it’s as profoundly dumb a discussion as you are likely to find in any creationist screed, what really stands out is Berlinski’s segment, in which he seems to be battling his own knees for the camera focus.
What a wondrous life you have, so much humour at your fingertips! This is too good to be true, it’s so frigging hilarious. haha. I also love how he thought it was such an insult to call you and Dawkins soulmates.
Dr. Intellectual, hahahaha.
“Is there anything you atheists enjoy more than mocking and ridiculing the religious beliefs of Christians?”
Nope.
1) Mocking and ridiculing the religious beliefs of Christians.
2) Mocking and ridiculing the framing beliefs of Matt Nisbet.
3) Imagining churches empty because all the people who used to go there woke the fuck up.
.
.
1,057) Watching paint dry.
.
.
.
1,004,506) Reading email from dorks like Dr. Intellectual.
1,004,506) Reading email from dorks like Dr. Intellectual.
now, now, while you might not ENJOY it directly, you do have to admit that it helps with 1).
“It is safe to say that anyone who does not believe in evolution is either ignorant, stupid, wicked or insane.” – Richard Dawkins, your soul-mate
um, so has it been decided yet which of these our good doctor is?
Well, yeah. Didn’t you know that all directors of the EAC get their very own jetpack?
“Oops! T. rex lived millions of years before there ever were any Christians, so T. rex could hardly be eating a “Christian fish.””
Huh? I thought T Rex lived 6000 years ago. (And someone already beat me to the observation that Rex at coconuts, not fish.)
You almost have to hand it to these guys for making something that’s entirely contrived a topic of continuing discussion by serious people, just by force of persistence.
Ah, maybe not.
Dr Ineffectual is one intrepid decoder.
He’s uncovered your enigmatic double identity as a blogger and now he’s blown it wide open.
Only a mastermind could have fisked today’s entry page and uncovered the true meaning carefully concealed between the lines, which is that religious cranks are not atheists.
Kudos to Dr Inconsequential!
#3 “you just cant make these people up!”
So very true. That is, I honestly believe, the best part of reading these incisions on reality. They are real people who honestly believe this. It makes reality real again.
Ive been accosted b CJ Ministries before and had the full CAPS LOCK arguments with no grammere and onehundrede parsent horrible spalling rambling on and on….but when it is a cogently written piece of real flesh….gawd it is fun to read.
How about promoting ‘Sterilization for JEESOOS’ (and Allah while at it)??
Having read through the judge’s deliberation on ‘IDiots vs UC'(a free reading of the case name), it is clear that the IDiots’ genetic strains are so regressive that terms like ‘intelligence’, ‘professor’, and ‘university’ when used in context with IDiots become meaningless. Not just oxymorons, but utterly meaningless.
And PZ, you are only too polite about critters like Behe,
– ‘Godfuckers’ is the proper term.
Wow… even my computer cant take the ‘woo for Jebus’ – half way thru reading that, it spontaneously rebooted…
Quite amazing that someone who has so little tolerance for freethinkers is whining about tolerance. Also, i’m pretty sure his statistics are false, unless he ment “85% of Americans profess a belief in a god” instead of arrogantly claiming the statistic for his own particular god.
I actually had Super Genius as the job title on my business cards for a while… but it turns out the Super Genius market is a little saturated around here, or something.
Let’s review. Using unusual words correctly? Makes you look smart. Using unusual words incorrectly? Makes you look really, really stupid. Expressing simple ideas using excessive language? Makes you look stupid. Expressing complex ideas using simple language? Makes you look smart.
Using the word “verily” or “hallow” in a sentence? Makes you look like you are JOKING. I move in circles that use both those words regularly–correctly!–and we do it to point out that we are joking. For example:
Verily, how could I ever have lived without the Swiffer?
I’ve never heard anyone try to use either of those words in earnest. I thought everyone on the internet had gotten that memo. Alas, I was wrong. (“Alas”. Another word that suggests you’re joking.)
Jesus can’t do email!!!. Jesus can’t do email!!!. NANA NANA BOO BOO. STICK YOUR HEAD IN DOODOO..
Alex has “the munchies” for a California Cheeseburger.
@123: What are you talking about?
He’s even on Facebook.
I got a friend in Jesus…
(Side note: when my christian schoolmates sang that song, they changed the words from “never been a sinner, never sinned” to “always been a sinner, always sinned”, but they never invited me to join in the sinning. I call that rude.)
#63. Exactly what I thought and almost posted!
That is MY theory.
I too believe that “man-whore” is over the top. It’s an insult to hard-working Putos everywhere. Man-whores are making an honest-if-illegal living. They are providing (a) service in exchange for agreed-upon compensation. Behe and other such parasites are providing a dis-service with their self-serving misinformation.
No, “man whore” just doesn’t cut it. Bottom feeder? Rat-milker? Mind-rotting sanity stealer? Opportunistic fu_k-wit fu_ker? Cancerous lesion on the social consciousness? Exploitative Rube-miner? Brain-dead sociopath? Anthropological embarrassment? Fungus?
Where’s Michael Korn when you need him. At least there were threats of bodily harm from him. This guy is Bush league.
I am late to this party and do not have much to say here. But “man-whore” made me think of this. Dig those pants!
What on earth is a Christian fish? Anything like a Holy Mackerel?
I vote for “man-pony”
“ΙΧΘΥΣ”
Getting bored at Jill’s site…pro-ID anti-PZ…check it out
http://www.jillstanek.com
I don’t think “nofollow” means what you think it means.
It doesn’t mean “don’t act like a hyperlink”, it tells Google to not count it as a link when it scans this page. That is, google ranks pages by how many links point to it. “nofollow” tells google not to count this one for that pages ranking. By using “nofollow” you can link to a page without increasing its page ranking.
Seriously? A girl concealed her pregnancy well enough to have a baby in a school toilet, and yet was stupid enough to try to flush the evidence?
@Owlmirror: I don’t follow…
ugh
Gee, thanks, PIP. I really didn’t need to see that.
Seriously? A girl concealed her pregnancy well enough to have a baby in a school toilet, and yet was stupid enough to try to flush the evidence?
a stupid girl surrounded by stupid, you mean?
aside from the likelihood that whoever wrote the story got at least half the facts wrong.
I’d bet on it.
Actually, to be fair, one of my distant relatives was taking a dump one day, then realised the splash was awfully loud…
it’s not a joke, either. She really did have a baby without realising she was pregnant, and delivered it in the toilet without realising she was in labour.
Rat-milker? Fungus? You, my friend, are disparaging perfectly well-established members of the biological kingdom, including species and genera useful to mankind. Rats, if raised by hand from babyhood, make engaging pets, and certain strains are useful in biomedical research. Certain kinds of fungus are delightful to eat. Associating either of these entities with That Idiot is a slur upon the character of legions of rats and mushrooms.
what is it with these people and their need to use either all-caps or horrible hideous fonts? maybe they subconsciously use Comic-sans because they know, deep deep down inside, that their thoughts make about as much sense as a ‘Gil Thorp’ strip.
Well, Karen, if we’re going to go that way, why are you slurring idiots so?
They don’t deserve to be compared to Behe
To all of those people joking about atheists eating Christian babies:
more like Eternal Sole, or so i’ve been told
All good christians have a plaice in heaven
[OT]
Dave Neiwart has just done a rather nice job of dismembering Jonah Goldberg’s LA Times article condemning Darwin Fish. Unfortunately Neiwart went wandering a little and came to the conclusion that Hitchens-style New Atheism “probably qualifies as a kind of anti-religious bigotry.”
URL here: http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/2008/04/threat-of-difference.html
[/OT]
#130 Bob Carroll wrote:
What on earth is a Christian fish? Anything like a Holy Mackerel?
#144 skyotter wrote:
more like Eternal Sole, or so i’ve been told
#145 wazza wrote:
All good christians have a plaice in heaven
Or maybe they’re referring to monkfish?
Dr. Ineffectual’s email serves as a goo example of why I prefer to associate with the PZeds of the world than the Ineffectuals. PZed has two advantages over Dr. Ineffectual, they are…
PZed is smarter, which means PZed is more adaptable and so more capable of adjusting when and if he is proved wrong on a subject.
PZed has a sense of humor. Which helps him make those adjustments, and means he’s more fun to read.
Put them both together along with his experience as a college professor, and you get someone who is an effective communicator. As can be seen in the latest issue of Seed
Where Dr. Ineffectual is concerned … No, sorry, I am not a writer for CBS News, there is no way I can put a positive spin on obsessive, delusional behavior. (Unlike any other God annoying nut, I can accept the possibility I might be wrong.)
You know, I can just see our host asking for copies of any blackmail material and offering to blog about it. :)
Oops! T. rex lived millions of years before there ever were any Christians, so T. rex could hardly be eating a “Christian fish.” Nice try though.
And Jesus Christ never lived, so you can hardly be a Christian. You must be an atheist, just like most of us here. Verily.
JMyers, @150
And if Jesus did live would that make him the Son of God? Why the need to make him non-existent because he was never God made flesh?
Why the need to make him non-existent because he was never God made flesh?
ever think maybe your rambling notions had nothing to do with what J Myers said?
there’s no need to shift the burden of proof here, Alan.
why not take it up with Hector Avalos as to whether there really is any achaelogical evidence the man actually existed?
besides, don’t you have perfect faith?
why the need to defend his existence?
No, it surely would not; I am skeptical but open to the possibility that Jesus the Carpenter existed. I am perfectly willing to accept that Dr. I is a woodworker.
I am perfectly willing to accept that Dr. I is a woodworker.
can you smoke that much crack and still work wood?
Why oh why did I follow that link to Jill’s site?
??? Because intent to do harm is part of the definition of homicide??? Or do right wingers have some other definition I am unaware of?
Or have I simply had too much blueberry wine and, perhaps, can no longer read the English (or American) language…
Not to rain on a parade or anything but could this individual possibly be mentally ill? If that’s the case, I don’t find it funny nor cathartic making fun of this person.
A lot of these people do suffer mental disorders and don’t take their medication. Otherwise, they’re perfectly reasonable people.
Or maybe I’m just optimistic.
Is there really any reason to doubt that a person named Jesus lived? It seems more likely to me that he actually lived and later became a religious figure than that he was simply made up. It seems likely that Mohammed actually lived. Why not Jesus too?
Sure, you can argue that there’s no archaeological evidence that he lived, but he was just one person among tens or hundreds of thousands. What are the chances of actually finding evidence that can be definitively linked to a specific person who possessed neither wealth nor power?
AFAIK, there’s no archaeological evidence that Spartacus lived. Do you doubt his existence as well?
Geoff, he’s no more mentally ill than any other creationist…
I think the main point is that there’s no historical evidence for him. The gospel story makes him pretty central to the events of Passach, 33AD, but there’s no mention of him even in Herodotus, apart from an extremely suspect passage most likely added by a christian editor.
Burning? Nah, fire and sword’s the True Believers gig.
What we want is churches derelict, abandoned, forgotten, overgrown with weeds, windows broke, roof caved in – neglected monuments to a defunct superstition – destroyed not by fire but by irrelevance and indifference.
“All good christians have a plaice in heaven”
Oh Wazza, with that you get my nomination for this months Molly.
Molly?
Is – is that a good thing?
can you smoke that much crack and still work wood?
Well, I’m not saying I know that he still has all his fingers…
“Why don’t you atheists just burn down all the churches.”
Oh, thats sooooo 1800’s. Obviously this man doesn’t read the Evil Atheist Monthly(TM). These days we use nuclear( or so Stan the troll informs us).
Oh Wazza, its a highly coveted and prestigous thing. Look up the top under the “Commenters” tab. You’ll see such luminaries such as Brownian, Cuttlefish and MAJeff have all reached the social pinnacle of being awarded one. It’s kind of like being knighted by the Queen but you get touched on the shoulder by a tentacle, not a sword.
wazza:
I take your point. It is quite possible that the gospel significantly inflates his importance at the time – possibly even to the point of exaggerating his very existence.
“He (Professor Michael Behe of Lehigh University) is such a man-whore for creationism…” – PZ Myers
Prof. Behe is going to be rather cross with Prof. Myers after he (Behe) starts receiving 3 a.m. calls from Ted “Art” Haggard.
@Ian: well, he has to be based on something, no matter how much he’s later been mythologised.
Apparently, there were a lot of people like this at the time; itinerant rabbis with their own vision of judaism.
Ah
cool
I would think my “evolving in a hagfishy direction” would be more mollyish material than a simple comment that puts christians in their plaice.
“What we want is churches derelict, abandoned, forgotten, overgrown with weeds, windows broke, roof caved in – neglected monuments to a defunct superstition – destroyed not by fire but by irrelevance and indifference.”
Us photographers would have a field day. I’d rather see churches become libraries. Except that in some parts of the country, that would be an awful lot of libraries.
Well, maybe if they had that many libraries, you’d be able to find a copy of a pratchett novel…
I swear, half the city wants to take those things out, you basically have to stake out the fantasy section to get your hands on one.
All I want to say is that I like the name “Dr Paradigm”. I may well use it at some point. Don’t worry, I won’t be mass mailing university people with stupid crap, but I just like the name and want to find some way to make use of it.
I’m thinking something more along the lines of blackmailing the world into paying me billions of dollars or else I’ll melt the polar ice caps with a large magnifying glass. That sort of thing.
Glass isn’t strong enough to make a lens big enough to melt the ice caps…
that’s why I recommend Gravilens(tm) gravitational lensing technology for all your ice-cap-melting needs.
Well, maybe if they had that many libraries, you’d be able to find a copy of a pratchett novel…
you only need ONE library.
…and you’re soaking in it.
*psst*
(torrent on Pratchett)
Wasn’t anyone else amused by the ending? I mean, this part:
Use video conversation to talk face-to-face with Windows Live Messenger. Get started!
That’s not the commercial that notes like this should be ended with. With writers like Dr. Ineffectual there’s no knowing what body part might show up on the screen.
#170: I’d rather see churches become libraries.
Bah. Turn them into pubs!
“’cause you know, if PZ didn’t take those flights, the planes wouldn’t go at all. So it’s solely PZ’s fault that the carbon emissions will occur.”
We already knew that PZ was causing the Wetern civilization to crumble. Now he’s singlehandedly altering the climate. I swear, he’s becoming a kind of superhero.
“#170: I’d rather see churches become libraries.
Bah. Turn them into pubs!”
Why not both? Best of both worlds.
“Yes. We love to eat their babies even more.
Mmmm. Baby sashimi…especially with some wasabi and pickled fetus. *drool*
Posted by: MAJeff, OM ”
I prefer mine lightly grilled, with a touch of Peri Peri.
It’s funny that PZ gets his Christian hate-mail on Wednesdays, because I’ve noticed that Wednesday here in the wild and wacky Highlands of Scotland is the day that people go a bit loopy (loopier than normal.) Pedestrians wander across the road, oblivious to the lorry thundering towards them, they ignore traffic lights – no, more than that, they seem not to know how traffic lights work (on Wednesdays) and so give up even trying to figure them out. You have to keep your wits about you as a driver on Wednesdays.
It ain’t just the pedestrians though. Drivers too, on Wednesdays, lunge out at you from junctions, ignore traffic signals, I’ve even seen them go round roundabouts the wrong way. That is the norm up here, mind you (Note to any tourists thinking of coming up here for a touring holiday!) but Wednesdays definitely are the worst.
Now what I’m wondering is, what is it about Wednesdays that has the loonies all up and about and causing trouble? Is it that Wednesday is the day they get to play, whether it’s out on the roads, terrifying motorists or on the internet, annoying eminent scientists? Or are they just particularly dopey and/or grumpy in the middle of the week? Ah! Now I think we might be getting closer to the answer. Maybe by Wednesday the effects of Church have worn off and the awfulness of their existence is filtering through to them…Any ideas? Surely these events are linked. Has anyone else noticed Wacky Wednesdays in their area?
re#159: I would frankly be amazed if Herodotus did have a mention of a historical Jesus, as Herodotus lived and wrote in 5th Century BC Greece.
Perhaps you meant Josephus?
But I’m with you on the no evidence for a historical Jesus
Eh, sorry… was reading American Gods recently, and Herodotus sounds like a latinization of a hebrew name…
Emails like Dr. Intellectuals’s need to be taken seriously (snigger).
I suggest you write a fulsome apology, and make sure you send copies to the Pope and the College of Cardinals (chortle), the Archbishop of Canterbury and all the Anglican Archbishops and Bishops (chuckle), all the many protestant Pastors (stifled laugh), the Dalai Lama (laugh out loud) and the other monks, the Chief Rabbi and his chums, all the Imams, all the Hindu priests, Ken Ham (finding it difficult to breathe inbetween whoops of laughter) and Jack Chick (Ha Ha Bonk (laughing my head off)).
Recovers slightly. Just joking, no offense intended (snort).
Well, why not?
Maybe not go that far, but send it to all the creationists and anyone associated with this fellow
it’ll be fun!
Yes, it is as objective as a metaphor can get, it is fair, and, being testable, it is scientific. Next question!
<raises hand>
Where did this guy get the idea that “objective”, “fair” and “scientific” all mean the same as “polite”?
Yes, it is as objective as a metaphor can get, it is fair, and, being testable, it is scientific. Next question!
<raises hand>
Where did this guy get the idea that “objective”, “fair” and “scientific” all mean the same as “polite”?
Oh, my. I have never seen anyone so impervious to the point of a blog post. This one is going to take an especially large cluebat, I think…
Puddock said:
It’s not just the Highlands – I’ve noticed the same thing as a pedestrian down in the Central Belt, although here we have the added bonus of cyclists who appear to take Wednesdays as the day when they get to ride down the pavements instead of the roads as and when the mood so takes them.
Rey Fox said:
Seconded, Thirded and Fourthed.
And this would be a bad thing because . . . . ? If it really becomes a problem though, we could always use a few as Natural History Museums instead.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,345274,00.html
__________________________
Might want to be a bit nicer PZ. (LOL!!) THis link is to an article about a kid who is suing his teacher for denigrating religion. Yes, from Faux News, but interesting if nothing else.
Will we read about you there too???
How on earth do people sue TEACHERS for crying out loud? Honestly.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,344350,00.html
___________________________
And yet another student suing over religion in school.
Can an art teacher say no religion in art class if they do indeed have other religious symbols in the classroom and the school?
Not threadjacking- am going to sleep now but found this all curious.
So, how many of the biology faculty at UMM agreed with the assessment that Behe is a man-whore? I’d have to think it’s a pretty good proportion.
#177: “We already knew that PZ was causing the Wetern civilization to crumble. Now he’s singlehandedly altering the climate. I swear, he’s becoming a kind of superhero.”
More like a super villan! Well, a hero to us. I was going to say Dr. Intellectual would make a good supervillan name, but as that handle has already been taken by a moron…
Quick, to the squid-mobile!
PZ, my daughter’s in high school and is investigating UMM for a future biology degree solely because of your activism. If not for you, we’d never have heard of UMM–and I know she’s not the only student who could say that. If your school emphasizes teaching over research, which I think I’ve heard somewhere, then surely your department head’s going to place more importance on the publicity and good discussions you generate than on whether you ever insulted an idiot in your private life.
That said, the idiot has a good point about the greenhouse gas issue, and perhaps a bit of old-school research on the way to publication and patents would be an excellent idea here. It seems that the biology and physics departments would make a natural team for developing a Star-Trek style transporter … bring it up at the next dept. meeting, and get all those folk with real degrees in gear right away!
PZ, you get such interesting e-mail. Our school e-mail is never that much fun. We just get the boring stuff like “free kittens to good home” followed by “you shouldn’t give away your kittens, they might become experiment subjects” and then messages from the boss-man on high sying “you should send neither pro-kitten nor anti-kitten e-mails to the entire school district.”
I would much rather get a mailbox full of fun stuff in comic sans than the stuff my colleagues share. At least then it would be worth reading. We do have one very openly creationist math teacher, but AFAIK he’s never sent out e-mail screeds to anyone. He’s just plastered the back of his truck with links to AIG and anti-Darwin sentiments.
@Julius #176,
Ah yes, there’s a club in Nottingham based in a defunct church – I can’t remember what it was called, but it looked pretty great :)
Oops! T. rex lived millions of years before there ever were any Christians, so T. rex could hardly be eating a “Christian fish.” Nice try though.
This statement was truly forged from white-hot, primordial stupid.
PZ does change idiotic screeds to comic sans to make them easy to distinguish, but it would be fun if he could note the times he gets them in comic sans to begin with.
I was reading this thinking “this writer has clearly had a sense-of-humour bypass” and also has absolutely no sense of irony – until I got to the point where you said he signed himself Dr Intellectual. Which just goes to show that he has both, and this is clearly his April Fool joke email sent a wee bit late.
Im really getting tired of these people like Dr Intellectual who think they talk in the name of all Christians, in defense of Christianity.
What is it with these people who think they are representative of all the enumerable forms of the Christian faith, and that this gives them the right to defend them ?
As a matter of fact, it is precisely these people who are forcing a conflict between science and a certain brand of religion. Science is the method, found by men, to discover the truth about reality. Religion can be, for many, a search for a satisfying basis for life. It is when one forces one into the other, by ignorance and bad logic, as demonstrated by this Dr Intellectual, that one generates conflict.
No, Dr Intellectual, you do not speak in the name of the serious scientists who happen to be Christians.
Oo Lilly – churches turned into natural history museums – I like it! How appropriate, how marvellous that would be – maybe we should start a fund to do just that, across the nation, across the WORLD!!
“Im really getting tired of these people like Dr Intellectual who think they talk in the name of all Christians, in defense of Christianity.”
They DO talk in the name of Christianity!
Do you think there is some purified version of the nuttiness out there that is the TRUE version?
This one had all the features of a small-town schoolteacher character assassination.
To wit:
Ms. Spotsworth, Biology teacher at Nowhere Rural High, incurs the righteous wrath of Moe Lester, youth pastor at the One True Primitive Predestinational Dunker Assembly, when she tells little Georgia Groomette, popular cheerleader and wide-eyed regular at Lester’s youth group, that all those strange-looking URL titles in the church computer’s history folder didn’t come from unsolicited e-mails.
Lester hears of this, and retaliates with a campaign to have the perspicacious-but-otherwise hapless instructor removed from her position. Thunderous sermons ring out from the pulpit. Family-values think-tanks are called in to observe her teaching methods. The small town is fairly abuzz with allegations of dark subjects being taught to innocent little children in the Satanic depths of Biology class.
And, sure enough, the school board, hoping to deflect the growing level of criticism, calls Ms. Spotsworth in and browbeats her into resigning quietly, promising a nice recommendation if she goes along. And she does, leaving Nowhere. Pastor Lester, triumphant, sees a big increase in the size of his youth group.
And, amidst all the hoopla, no one notices that little Georgia Groomette has by now developed one of those “thousand-yard stares.” Eventually she moves to the big city and drops out of sight. Oh, well. What difference did she make anyway?
But back to Pastor Moe Lester, who realizes he has a good thing going on, so he starts a protection racket, where targeted schoolteachers must now cowtow to his holy precepts, or incur the wrath of one of his letter-writing campaigns (all in Comic Sans, of course). Ultimately, Pastor Lester decides it’s time to pay attention to college professors, and you all can figure out the rest.
There are Christian fish?
How do you baptize a fish?
I have occasionally asked myself this very question. Truth is, there are just a few things, but it varies. Mocking and ridiculing the religious beliefs of Christians is right up there, truth is.
But let’s see, there’s also:
1. A freshly poured Steamwhistle.
(But usually only the first one, on a hot day. Second one, it’s like, meh, not bad, but not really as much fun as ridiculing the religious beliefs of Christians.)
2. Mocking and ridiculing the beliefs of other religions.
(But only occasionally. Truth is, the weirdly conflicted sense of entitlement on the part of Christians usually seems to make them a little more fun. Moslems ’round here, it’s like ‘oh, quit picking on us, you racist meanie!’. Which can be amusing, but is also sorta sad. Christians, it’s more ‘How dare you! This is *our* world! And we’re so picked on!’ Which, in addition to being sorta sad, somehow usually amuses me even more. Can’t explain it. It’s probably the absurdity of the strangely ignored contradiction. To each his own, y’know.)
3. Mocking other superstitions.
(Depends, again. Favourite one so far was when I wrote back a guy who’d forwarded a chain email and telling him I’d hacked the accounts of everyone else he’d forwarded it to and deleted the forward, so the chain mail magic meant he was still going to get cancer and die anyway, even tho’ he’d faithfully forwarded it… But conspiracy theorists are also kinda fun. Leaving plastic all-seeing pyramids on their desk chairs when they’re not looking (‘We’re *watching* you…) equals priceless. But again, mileage varies.)
4. Skiing double diamond moguls and still being able to stand, when arriving at the bottom.
(Happens too rarely, but it’s also good.)
5. Good sex.
(But it has to be *really* good.)
6. Filled chocolate truffles.
(Lately, I’ve been more partial to the espresso flavoured ones… But, again, there are practical issues, here. As in: the mockery ain’t gonna go to my hips.)
br asked:
Maybe that’s what fishermen are doing when they hook fish out of the water and then throw them back in again?
What is his first name?
Maybe it’s “Auntie”.
Cheezits, I see where you’re going there, but the joke doesn’t work here in MN/ND territory … we say it like it’s spelled, not like the insect.
or maybe…
Shopkeeper: Hey, may I help you?
Customer: Yeah. This is kind of neat, what is it?
Shopkeeper: Oh, that’s from Europe. It’s a medieval cathedral. It’s actually been used in Christian rituals.
Customer: Wow, that’s cool. What do you do with it?
Shopkeeper: You put your weed in there!
(…that’s a lot of weed!)
We have at least two ex-churches now used for clubs/pubs. One is called ‘faith’ and I can’t remember the name of the other one.
They do make terrific spaces!
Richard Dawkins, your soul-mate
OMG! PZ Myers + Richard Dawkins = OTP!!!
This spammer totally outed himself – I’ll bet he’s cranking out PZM/RD slashfic as we speak. It would fit with his demographic.
“Im really getting tired of these people like Dr Intellectual who think they talk in the name of all Christians, in defense of Christianity.”
If so, then you and those who agree with you had better speak up; you’re being out-competed by the more virulent varieties. And you know what happens next. Evolutionarily speaking.
In its day, the Limelight in New York was a great club. The acoustics were divine.
Plaice for the win! (although eternal sole was pretty good, too.
I’ve seen old churches converted into apartment complexes, and one converted into a house (with a kick-ass foyer).
Query: Does it have to be a holy mackerel to produce holy shit?
#203
Maybe that’s what fishermen are doing when they hook fish out of the water and then throw them back in again?
This is my carp in whom I am well pleased.
That was the second-funniest thing that happened to me related to religion today. The first-funniest thing was being offered a copy of The Watchtower by a guy, on the grounds that it was “well-researched.”
I am afraid I actually laughed in his face, and I’m usually more polite than that (in public, anyway).
Ichthyic,
Perfect faith? I’ll have you know sir that my particular insanity happens to be clinical depression, not schizophrenia with delusional ideation. (Though there are those who consider me a perfect ass.) ‘Sides, I ever did become perfect I’d lose any opportunity to learn from my mistakes. That would be perfectly boring.
160: Hell, let the Xtians put their churches where their mouths are and turn them all into homeless shelters and housing for the poor. Caritas, and all that…
214: The JWs once made the error of offering Joe Haldeman a copy of the WT; he asked the guy to let him read it and invited him to come back later to talk about it. Then he prepared eight pages or so of rebuttal.
DominEditrix @ #216:
Oh, come on, Jeebus would never approve of such frivolous wastes of time as feeding the hungry, healing the sick, or clothing the naked :P
Joe Haldeman, that name sounds familiar. Author of The Forever War? Or am I thinking of someone else?
Since the hack emailing you doesn’t deserve attention, my question is:
Does Fergus even have an airport?
Wow, he’s so far off. It’s like he tried to throw a rock at the ground and missed.
Is there anything you atheists enjoy more than mocking and ridiculing the religious beliefs of Christians? Anything at all?
Yes–mocking and ridiculing the religious beliefs of doctrinaire liberals. They’re so cute when they become indignant.
Hi Joe, we were just talking about you! (see comment #65, BlueIndependent)
Hi Joe, we were just talking about you! (see comment #65, BlueIndependent)
I read that post, Reynaldo, but I don’t see what it has to do with me. Perhaps you have me confused with someone else. Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson, perhaps?
Woosh! *sound of comment rushing over Joe’s head*
This is where I began busting a gut. I needed that because I woke up this morning with a kind of icky feeling. I spent an hour, or so, last night at answersingenesis.org, and it creeped me out. It was the first time I had been there. I found the textboob they are selling to the unsuspecting, Evolution Exposed. The good news is that you can read it for free; the bad news is that even that’s too much.
A few days ago I came across something that puts this age-old battle against religious obscurantism into perspective.
The goal of the theocrats is to destroy science and to destroy our democracy, which they claim isn’t really a democracy at all (I suppose because this word doesn’t appear in the founding documents, which is like saying we aren’t really human beings because that term doesn’t appear on our birth certificates).
The following from the main inventor of creationism/intelligent design reveals that the true purpose of creationism is a war on reason, a war on our mind.
So, if we can’t rely on our own mind, whose mind can we rely on? There has never been a more succinct justification for totalitarianism! Don’t think, just obey! They’ll say that it’s god that we must obey, but what they don’t say is that we always end up having to obey them, the self-appointed right hand of god.
This group and their party have long vilified the Democrats/Liberals/Progressives and
created a myth that we’re “effete, latté-sipping sissies”; and they’ve apparently come to believe their own propaganda because now that we’re fighting back, they burst out in tears and cry foul.
They’ve made the cardinal sin of underestimating the opposition. Now it’s up to all of us to take off the gloves and drive the point home in every way we can that they are wrong and we are right.
I’ll close with this bit of wisdom by Wesley R. Elsberry at The Austringer:
For ammunition in our battle to make our evangelical fellow citizens aware of the opposition’s lies, see
frankhagan.com and The Quote Mine Project at Talkorigins.
P.Z. is doing a good job of exposing the lies, but let’s not forget that we’re all in this together and that no matter how wrong headed they may be, the evangelicals are our fellow citizens, many of whom are capable of changing their minds the way Frank Hagen did when he discovered how he had been systematically lied to by the creationist propaganda machine. If the truth could set him free, why not the rest of them?
Believe it or not, PZ, I think I know who this is. What may be the same a-hole harassed me, all the senior faculty in my department and the *president of my university* by email for almost three months with very similar nonsense in an identical style, and used his real name. He eventually gave up when he saw he wasn’t getting any reaction from any of us.
Oh Rey, that’s priceless!
It’s like he tried to throw a rock at the ground and missed.
LOL
I MUST have heard that one before, but for the life of me, I can’t recall when.
According to Douglas Adams, the key to flying is to throw oneself at the ground and miss
Move to Ireland or the UK. Fewer fundies, no creatinists to speak of, pubs, and it’s basically impossible to find a bookshop (that sells new books) which doesn’t have the complete set. (I think the only Pratchett book I haven’t seen an Irish or UK bookshop is The Unadulterated Cat–I got my copy at a used books shop in Vancouver Canada.)
Can I get a doctorate in Intellectual, too?
“Richard Dawkins, your soul-mate”
And he’s probably against gay marriage too.
Dr. Hypocrite?