TDoV Fundraiser, White Rap, Cringe On

GOAL ACHIEVED – FUNDRAISER CLOSED
This post will remain for historical purposes.


HEY!  I had a telework meeting earlier this week and since I wouldn’t get harassed on the bus by doing so, I dressed like a lady.  Little did I know I was two days early for the Trans Day of Visibility.  I’m visible, babes.  Be the fat middle-aged white lady you want to see in the world.  I’m lovin’ it.  But still..

image of your blogger great american satan

Like many trans folk today I come to you with cup in hand.  I’ve had medical issues burning up my leave at work, and for some abdominal surgery in late April I’m going to use at least a week of leave without pay.  To make my bills less ouch, I’d like to fundraise.  Here is the incentive:  Donate at all, and you can choose a word I will rhyme in a rap.  If five people choose orange, I’ll try to come up with five shitty sorta-rhymes for orange.

This will be strictly words on digital paper, maybe starting below and then compiled in a blogpost, unless we reach goals.  At $500, I will do an audio performance of the rap.  At $600, I will do a video.  These productions, if they happen, will be lo-fi as all hell, because I just don’t have the time for big effort.

I will run this through midnight April 21st, so I have time to make the audio or video if necessary.  If you like my terrible styles and enjoy cringy embarrassment, please give me a ko-fi, as it were.  And if you like donating to FtBloggers, throw our recently unemployed mans Brinkman a bone too.

link to my ko-fi

 

 

Fundraiser Ideas?

I am gonna have to take about a week off work for surgery soonish, without pay.  Since I live pretty close to the wire, it would be a lot more comfortable if I could raise about $500 somehow.  What would work for this purpose?  I’d rather not have to do additional outside work, like say, $500 worth of art commissions.  Maybe something arty, I dunno.  What would make you shower me with fliff like a stripper?

Marcel Duchamp Would Love AI Art

Content Warning: I link to videos that show clips of Tucker Carlson, and the thumbnails show his crappy fucken face.

Remember when that guy put a urinal on a gallery wall and signed it “R Mutt”?  Remember Marcel Duchamp, and all the other people who really called into question just what “art” actually is, back in the 20th century?  If you’re only going to learn about one artist from the 1900s, it should be Duchamp.  While he was alive, so many other artists were on his jock, it was wild.  Salvador Dalí wished he could be as cool as Marcel.  Anyway, just thinking about how AI art has all the cowards babbling through rage tears, and how that would be absolutely irresistible temptation to the pranksters of art.  You’re making yourselves into clownbait, AI haters.  Watch out.

Marcel Duchamp depicted in AI art

“Marcel Duchamp showing off his AI-generated art on his laptop, he is proud and satisfied with his work.” -by anonymous, using Midjourney

Some only sorta related thoughts on AI art:  The people fighting it right now are so very much like the original Luddites, it’s kinda sad.  Fighting for labor is a good instinct, if what you’re fighting for is worth preserving.  But there are jobs that are rendered obsolete by technology, and just should be.  Here are a couple of very short videos from leftesque yewchoober “Big Joel,” on the “Little Joel” channel meant to replace his abandoned ElonWorld account.  They are not specifically about AI art and he might even have a different opinion if that was the subject of discussion, but the arguments definitely apply.  Don’t worry about the title; he is disagreeing with some weird fools claiming the nazi demagogue had said something decent for a change… [Read more…]

You Sang The Union Forever

The dream began with a sort of video game scenario, wherein I was a non-blue native american analog on an alien world.  I had to fight the big bad with only the power to purify poisons he produced.  I had to level up on some Dragon Ball bullshit.  There were other anime tropes involved in the scenario.  After the final battle I was trying to find clothing to wear and famous voice actor / internet funnyman SungWon “prozd” Cho was there, with some people fanning out about his anime parody content.  Despite now finding myself in the classic “where are my clothes” dream scenario, I was thinking of myself as the creator of the anime bullshit I had just played out, and I wanted to mention that to him – seeking praise from the master of that art form.  But since I was basically naked, I had to yell at him from around the corner.

This transitioned somehow to another part of the dream that was a big elaborate musical about the invention of labor unions.  It was full of ludicrous anti-history, bad songs, and Oscar bait cast, which in my head was anybody famous that I had seen recently on the internet, whether or not they would actually be cast in an Oscar bait movie – Johnny Depp, Brendan Fraser, Nicole Kidman, but also the guy that played Negan on Walking Dead, and some of those ladies from Klymaxx.  Negan was playing an intellectually delayed dude that was leading the union charge.  He also fancied himself a songwriter, but had really bad ideas.  In one scene he was trying to explain a song idea about a mixing bowl to Elvis Presley.  I was there and felt the need to explain that musicals are horrible, which in the context of this particular scene would be lampshading.

Johnny Depp was using an anachronistic computer terminal in this ambiguous early 20th century steel mill and discovered that he had a “demerit” in the system, without knowing what it was or how he had incurred it.  This would be the launching point for a subplot about how unions will protect you from arbitrary punishment, with rules about how you must be informed of impending disciplinary action and be allowed to defend yourself from them.

Then Brendan Fraser had to go talk to the boss lady and do more singing that my subconscious was ill-equipped to fill in the lyrics of, until I got tired of this and woke up at 8:50 in the morning.  And now this – the glorious reward for anybody who clicked my “subscribe” button in the sidebar.

Who Are We Occupying This Week?

Russia invaded Ukraine, which blows.  Murderous dickbags gonna murder.  Anyway, I’m supposed to stand in judgment of that, but I’m in a glass house.  Gotta check out the periphery before I throw Slava Ukrainis.  Who is the US military occupying this week?  Who are we raining mutilation and ruin upon?  How about our buddies, like the Saudis?  Israel?  I’ve lost track again.

The Brinkman is Back

FreethoughtBlogs’s own William Brinkman is at it again!  He has a new story set in his Bolingbrook Babbler Literary Universe, and I got an advance reader copy of it.  The rest of you rabble can order it tomorrow, at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retailers.  This is my review.

Like William’s The Rift, A Fire in the Shadows is action-packed genre fiction, set in the Weekly World News -inspired setting of his “Bolingbrook Babbler” articles.  At around 12k words, it’s long for a short story, but only covers a few short events.

There’s a lot of information around those events, and the author wants the story to stand on its own, so the exposition can land like bricks upside the head.  The references to events in The Rift feel particularly unnecessary, beyond the important fact of the weredeer incursion.  I do like being able to include a sentence like that in a review.

Still, as I said before, it’s fun to see SFF genre fiction that isn’t beholden to the conventions laid down by the titans of Intellectual Property.  There’s stuff here to enjoy.  The vampire battle strategizing reminded me of a bit in “From Russia with Love” where James Bond was thinking about how he could totally judo chop through his opponent’s chest if he wanted to, but now wasn’t the time for it.

One thing that struck me odd.  The vampire characters seem to regard their own human ethnicities as a thing to be disdained, and I’m not convinced they’d have any reason to feel that way.  This element seemed like a ploy to spell out the characters’ backgrounds without breaking from the plot and dialogue to do so.  In general, the bitchy attitudes of the vampires were unappealing, and while that may have been intentional, it’s not interesting to me as a reader.  I know some other readers like it, so YMMV.  I did like the main character Lydia being a lovefool like The Cardigans.

William’s writing style spells out a lot.  “Show, don’t tell” is one of the central dogmas of 20th century literature, but there are situations where even back then it was ignored.  Short stories in action-packed genre fiction, well, that’s one place where telling works.  His “The Rift” was short for a novel, and like this story, packed a lot into its length, by merit of willingness to lay ideas out plainly.

This creates a paradox (if I’m using that word right), because sometimes William does not spell something out.  Those can be pretty important themes and ideas, and since a reader gets accustomed to him spelling out the situation unambiguously, it’s easy to forget he might leave something unsaid.  I’m guessing a lot of readers might miss his unspoken ideas.

**SPOILERS BELOW**

Like “The Rift,” I think the main character of “A Fire in the Shadows” has an unreliable perspective.  Lydia is the kind of person who is in love with the world, like a ramped-up high school student.  Like I used to be, once upon a time, wheeling from one crush to the next.

And that’s the exact kind of person that would repeat the social faux pas that exploded the atheo-skeptic community – a poorly timed pass at a person, which would come off as creepy.  Had Lydia followed through with her love confession at the end of AFITS, she would have been an even bigger creep than Tom during his elevatorgatery crime in The Rift.

Who wants to have an age-inappropriate leather-clad stranger confess their love for you, at night when there’s no one else around?  Big yikes.  Interesting to see a story show a character walk up to that edge and come back.

I think it’s funny that a person could miss that whole theme because it’s the source of the title.  “Fire” is vampire slang for your burning soul.  While Lydia is a reasonably good person, she has that fiery passion of a stranger lurking in The Shadows – something romantic until it becomes dangerous.  Something she needs to be mindful of, and that the targets of that affection are probably better off not knowing about.

That’s emotionally sophisticated stuff.  I liked it.  Thanks, William.

DC TV Extinction

Spoiler Warning for The Flash.  I really profoundly don’t care about spoilers, but hey, here’s a moment’s consideration for those who do.

Not really sure what the new business model at The CW is going to be since the takeover, but it seems like the crossover DC Comics shows are being phased out, bit by bit.  There’s a new DC Comics show that hasn’t premiered yet, but safe assumption it will have little to do with the rest.  It’s easier and more cost-effective to have your shows be modular, not interdependent in any way.  Hey, biz is biz.

Legends of Tomorrow was easily the best thing left in the DC slate and had its last season.  I hope everyone involved is well compensated and living their best life in whatever they do next.  After hinting The Arrow spinoff character Diggle was going to become The Green Lantern in crossover bits for a season, they wrote a weird little end to that plot, like, psych, never mind.  An thus the last of The Arrow‘s existence takes a dirt nap.

Stargirl‘s second season was COVID’d into a strange depressing mess.  They did as well as they could, but you could feel the characters were being isolated from each other for social distancing, the plot written in such a way as to denude the world of extras, leaving everything cold and dark.  Third and final season coulda been worse, but the amazing action of the first Season was almost completely gone.  They just didn’t have the budget for it anymore, I’m sure.

So The Flash is on its last season, which is good.  It’s time.  The most recent two seasons were hobbled by COVID and ended up totally bizarre.  I theorized here that the lady playing Flash’s main squeeze had come to dislike the production in some way, since her character was written out of contact with most of the cast during those seasons.  But she’s back in the house; looks like those strange writing decisions were probably more about COVID issues.  That will let them send the series into retirement with a solid season filmed under less strained circumstances.

The Flash has generally been marketed as less edgy, more superheroic and light than The Arrow.  That marketing was undercut by how grimdark and hopeless the main villain plots have been, over and over throughout its run.  Now that they’re back to their original form, without sensible plague restrictions, will the oppressive atmosphere return?  Who is the big bad of the very last season?

It’s Batwoman!  I did not see that coming.  Batwoman was cancelled and did a very competent job of its last season.  I liked it all well enough.  I think Greg Berlanti (or somebody else in his company) must love his actors, because he keeps giving them chances to show up even after their shows end.  Javicia Leslie is playing an alternate timeline version of Batwoman who became a Jokeresque wildhearted villain.  That means acting like a big campy goofball.  Let this season actually be fun!  We’ll see.

After all of this, I must share an amusing discovery I made.  For all the success of the DC comics shows – particularly The Flash – none of them touched the viewership of The Vampire Diaries.  Whatever big feels they inspire in a certain segment of humanity, the nerd audience is just smaller or less passionate than the romantic girly audience.  Take that, entitled-ass dorks!  And to whatever extent I share an identity with you – not as much as you might imagine – take that, me.

I guess I’ve only been paying attention to the DC shows because of the cultural connection with the comics, the art, the iconic characters in the background of my life since early childhood.  The Superfriends.  The guys on my underwear and my sippy cup, whatever.  If I wanted to pay attention to shows that really matter to most people, I’d skip the dork slate and watch sweet sexy vampires doing their thing…

MonsterHearts Days Nine Again, Six, and X

Monsterhearts is a 14 day event (named after a pervy RPG) wherein my writing group votes on a monster each day to include in a story concept.  As we marched toward Valentine’s Day, the theme was supernatural romance.  I didn’t make the deadline, but will see if I can put ’em all on the blog by the last day of this month.  I repeated Day Nine because I forgot I’d already done it when I went to collabo with my boyfriend on X amount of days.  Day X is a tradition of mine where I take all the prompts that didn’t win votes and roll them into a mega-prompt.

 

MONSTERHEARTS — DAY 9 — INANIMATE

CONTENT WARNINGS:  Splinters.  ‘Nuff said.

TITLE:  RUDEWOOD

CHARACTERS:  Corey Blighter is a genderqueer punk rocker who somehow turned the abuse of the world into a kink for getting insulted.  They meet a tree of the same enchanted species that spawned Pinocchio, once upon a time.  The tree is just rude and insulting to everyone who passes by, playing cruel tricks as much as its limited mobility allows.

PREMISE:  Corey makes the tree feel some type of way.  But is it possible for a rudewood to love?  They are made out of sap, splinters, and insult comedy.  The way they reproduce is by making humans so mad they cut the tree down, and this tree succeeds with a less twisted human than Corey.  The love must end.

THE HOOK:  Or must it?  Rudewood personalities can survive the chopping.  Corey can get the piece that has their lover within, and make some kind of a mannequin Gilbert Gottfried out of it.  Happily ever after, babe.

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "Rudewood"

 

MONSTERHEARTS — DAY 6 — INCORPOREAL

TITLE:  VOCALOVE

CHARACTERS:  The User, a similar character to me and Cubist’s MC from AIsaac, undefined and ambiguous via the narrow frame around the narrative.  Melpominy Muzik, a cheap Eastern European Hatsune Miku clone.

PREMISE:  The User finds an old CD of Melpominy in a used record shop in Hungary and tries to use her in their own music.  But the icon of the character, the sweet things she says within the program’s UI, could she be true waifu material?  How can she possibly have so much love in less than 700 megabytes?

THE HOOK:  One of those stories where you wonder if the lover is real or just a figment of the ardent one’s imagination, thereby a reiteration of the “Is it better to live in dreams?” theme.

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "Vocalove"

 

MONSTERHEARTS — DAY X — THE LOSERS: BEASTLY, DEMONIC, EXPERIMENTAL, FIERY, GIGANTIC, MINUSCULE, MUTATED, OVERPOWERED, SEASONAL, SHADOWY

CONTENT WARNINGS:  Bad Ending?

TITLE:  THE VICES OF DR. CARLO

CHARACTERS:  Dr. Vicente Carlo, a mad scientist.  Profesor Hector Olivares, his on-again off-again tempestuous gay lover.

PREMISE:  Dr. Carlo is a descendant of wealth, whose family avoided any revolutionary ire with delicate politicking during turbulent times, retaining those means with a low profile.  But generational inheritance can only last until a generation comes too dysfunctional to hold onto it.  Vicente is that man.  While he has the silver tongue of his ancestors, he has bizarre obsessions that spell his doom.

At the hacienda Dr. Carlo experiments with the intersection of science and the arcane and dark arts, with the often reluctant assistance of Profesor Olivares.  The profesor is more broadly travelled and conventional in his interests, bringing back tales of scientific advancements whenever he comes to town.  The doctor takes those tales and turns them into nightmares.

One Día de los Muertos (SEASONAL), Dr. Carlo used the power of dick to convince Prof. Olivares to help him contain the power of the heavens in a special battery.  But he doesn’t let the profesor know that the battery is full of satanic (DEMONIC) mojo. They harness a thunderstorm, draw the power of the heavens, but it combines with the power of hell, and the battery explodes.

Profesor Olivares is MUTATED into a rampaging BEAST that feeds on FIRE, heat, electricity, leaving blackened ruin in his wake. He sets off in pursuit of these things, burning up the nearest city and its inhabitants, one piece at a time. He becomes OVERPOWERED and GIGANTIC, bringing down the military.

To save his lover, Dr. Carlo must venture inside the broken battery. He takes an EXPERIMENTAL potion to become MINUSCULE, but runs afoul of SHADOWY demons that protect the strange realm of the machine, like an immune system. He takes a lot of hits, but eventually escapes into an unrecognizable region.

THE HOOK:  He has actually passed into Hell, and when the military takes down Hector with tanks, he meets his boy there.  “Oops, we both died. Better luck next life?”  They can be lovers in Hell.

Cover art by me, ballpoint pen and Photopea.

book cover for concept "The Vices of Dr. Carlo"