First, the only viddy I could find with John Reed–from The Mikado, the beautiful “Willow, Tit-Willow” (and unless you are already familiar with the song, you need to watch it before continuing):

Unbelievably, this is is the only John Reed video I could find online! I can only hope that his fans will remedy the situation in the coming days.

Meanwhile, the organ which passes for my brain began twitching uncontrollably, and produced the following, purely fictional (I assure you!), work:

In a random encounter, a skeptical lass
Said “Cuttle-fish, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle–
There’s a DNA helix tattooed on my ass,
Oh Cuttle-fish, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle.
And because it’s a picture in sepia ink,
I thought I’d show *you*, just to see what you think.”
Then she turned on her heel, with a mischievous wink:
“Oh, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle!”

So I said “As a skeptic, you know what I need.”
“Oh, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle!”
“It’s evidence only, a skeptic must heed.”
“Oh, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle!”
“There are times when reality’s not what it seems,
But a manifestation of innocent dreams,
And you’ll melt into moonlight on watery beams”
“Oh, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle!”

As I followed along, she continued to flirt,
Singing “Cuttle-fish, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle!”
My attention she drew to the hem of her skirt–
“Oh, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle!”
Then she hypnotized me, with her magical tune,
And discreetly she showed me a lovely half-moon…
And I heard, through a fog, as I started to swoon…
“Oh, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle-fish, Cuttle!”