Ok, I wasn’t going to post this, but what the heck… Pharyngula’s nice light fluffy topic of the morning is, sorta, whether war is part of the nature of humankind, and whether we can conceivably put an end to it.
Well you ask “What’s the purpose of war–
All the bombs, and the bullets, and gore?”
Though we all know it’s wrong
We’ve been at it so long
We’ve forgotten just what it is for.
One answer that’s there on the table,
Though I’m fully aware that it’s fable:
As descendents of Cain
We make war, in the main,
Just because we can’t stop–we’re not Abel.
Or, perhaps, it is all in our genes,
Although no one knows quite what that means
Is the dominant trait
Disposition to hate,
Or a fondness for noisy machines?
Are we programmed for war in our head?
Is it just that we’re easily led?
I think we should strive
To find out, while alive,
Cos it’s surely too late once we’re dead.
Can we change predilection for fighting
For something else, just as exciting?
The next border dispute,
Try an alternate route–
Say, competitive limerick writing!
Any comments not in limerick form will, of course, be deleted!!!
A limerick, to hear Cuttlefish tell itWill help to end war and dispel itBut the maddening timingOf this insidious rhymingWill increase world violence, not quell it!
Shock and awe’s what we really enjoy.It’s such fun to watch blasts, booms and boy,Those explosions incite patriotic delight, And “sex up” all the stuff we destroy.We’re shown pictures of fun high-tech weapons,And the bombers and tanks and marines,Who go bashing in doors, throwing people on floors, Gathering friends, hearts and minds by these means.We brought freedom to those poor IraqisWho lived under that nasty Hussein. Now Saddam is all gone – people dread each new dawnOf destruction and grieving and pain. But we mustn’t abandon our great war.We’ve not finished the job we began.There’s still oil to be found and removed from the ground,And we have to bomb evil Iran!
We’ve had generations of war,Why would we want any more?Destructive machinesMust be in our genesMore now than ever before.
Damnit, you’d already rhymed genes with machines. And I thought I was doing quite well.
Oh my GAWWWD!!!! Can I do this one to??!!! These are so brilliant, they really need to reach a wider audience!
You’ve seen me comment beforeBut you’ve set too high a score If you really must steerOnly limericks hereYour comments will drop to a core(but your readership will only climb higheryou’re still the goal to which we aspire)
bmc, I would like to inform,your request was not limerick form.It will stay, though, becauseI defy my own laws–Though cold-blooded, my hearts are still warm
I think that your rhyming’s terrific,And your output astoundingly prolific.From creationists to war,I would like to read more,Though perhaps on a topic less horrific.
I failed to pay sufficient attention,a source of considerable tension,Such a lamentable lapse,Could be forgiven most chaps,But for an Irishman, it’s a breach of conventionI failed to pay sufficient attention,to your posts original intention,if I’ve given offence,accept In my defence,This inadequate, and akward invention.
A missing link asked about war,”Why do it? Just what is it for?A true human resolvingRequires our evolving;But meantime, we’ll surely have more.”
MuseSusan–what an excellent idea! I think I will start a Limerick Fridays series, with different topics each week. Muse, eh? I’d call that truth in advertising…bmcwc–nice recovery!!!nathaniel–a very sobering limerick… if that is not a contradiction in terms.
There once was an administration,that wrought nothing but hate and vexation,making tax cuts galore,as they lied us to war,they believe they can buy vindication.
Hooray! We’ll look forward to Friday!We’ll bring our best meter and rhymes.Create doggerel and verse,Both sublime and perverse–Can’t be worse than George Bush’s war crimes!