Bolingbrook’s Department of Paranormal Affairs arrested a time traveler accused of posting on X in 2023. According to sources within the DPA, the time traveler went back to 2023 and posted a highly distorted photo of President Donald Trump raising his fist following the 2024 Butler, PA assassination attempt. The traveler’s photo was first noticed this year, following the assassination attempt at the 2026 White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

Julia Z. Milton, spokesperson for the DPA said, “We take any attempt to corrupt our timeline seriously. Which is why did not notify the federal government until the suspect was turned over to the Temporal Enforcement Agency. Who knows how the Trump administration would have exploited a time traveler from the future?”

According to anonymous sources, the suspect was streaming the Correspondents’ Dinner at Starbucks. Five minutes before the shooting, he allegedly told another patron, “Keep watching. You don’t want to miss the false flag operation.” Somehow, the DPA overheard the alleged conversation. They arrested the time traveler when he left Starbucks and confiscated his pocket time machine.

When questioned, the time traveler demanded access to “GemiGrok” because he couldn’t think for himself. The traveler later confessed to being from the future and deliberately creating an anachronistic photo on X. According to the traveler, “GemiGrok” told him it was okay to post the photo because skeptics could the account was a private account that was set to public after the assassination attempt. Therefore, they could argue the image was created in 2026, not 2023. If the public didn’t accept that explanation, skeptics could dismiss the image visual pareidolia. Later, the traveler said it didn’t matter because all tweets would be erased after Gemini and Grok merge.

An investigator, who asked not to be identified, said, “GemiGrok gave that time traveler bad legal advice. I guess AI hallucinations will still be a problem in the future.”

When reached for comment, Presidential Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, after insulting this reporter, said, “Just wait until the Correspondents’ Dinner is rescheduled. Bombs will be dropped!”

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