Some of you may recall the absurd situation that arose in 2010 when basketball player LeBron James’s contract with the Cleveland Cavaliers expired and there was speculation as to whether he would re-sign with the team or go elsewhere. James made himself a laughing stock by arranging a 75-minute TV special on ESPN grandiosely titled The Decision where he was interviewed, during which he announced that he was ‘taking his talents’ to Miami.
Well, his contract with Miami has ended and James has said that he would announce his next team today. Humorist Andy Borowitz has an exclusive on how he will announce the latest decision.
N.B.A. superstar LeBron James said Tuesday morning that he would announce the name of the team that he is signing with on Thursday at a special session of the United Nations General Assembly to be convened especially for that purpose.
“This decision affects everyone on the planet,” James said. “I want to let all the nations on Earth know at the same time.”
An emergency meeting of the U.N. Security Council on Tuesday was deadlocked on the issue, with seven members wanting James to remain in Miami, seven others hoping for a return to Cleveland, and Lithuania abstaining.
When James left Cleveland, a town that had revered him and where he could do no wrong, the local fans and media and team owner reacted with the same level of anger as a spurned lover, heaping vitriol and abuse on him. Now it appears that there is a chance that he may come back here, raising the city’s hopes of winning the national championship the city has long craved. If he does, you can be sure that all that will be forgotten and they will go back to adoring him.
It is really quite embarrassing the indignities that sports fans are willing to endure in their quest for something as unimportant as a sports championship.
The important thing is that he’s got plenty of options:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-lebron-james-leaning-toward-joining-alqae,36417/
I never could understand why anyone gives a shit about these people. It’s not like he’d give any of his fans the time of day.
“It is really quite embarrassing the indignities that sports fans are willing to endure in their quest for something as unimportant as a sports championship.”
After the indignity of self-identifying as a sports fan to begin with, what humiliation is too much to endure?
Klaatu barada nikto.
And where he also could not win an NBA championship. The team ownership would not provide the resources to make it happen. Remember how, when he announced his decision to leave, the team owner promised Cleveland would have a championship before James did? How’s that working out for you?
Srsly? What has changed? Has the team owner fired himself and put someone who can get the job done in his place? James realized years ago that he, like Michael Jordan in a previous generation, could not win a championship single-handedly. He needed the right supporting case. What has changed in Cleveland that is going to allow that to happen?
What a lucky guy James is. Money should not an issue. He should have tons of it already. Endorsements are far more important than capped salary for providing money anyway. James has the liberty to go wherever he thinks is best; either to have the best shot at winning more championships, or to be the happiest he can be (which for him may amount to the same thing).
At least you have the 2016 Republican convention to console yourselves with.
You said it, Mano. When the San Francisco 49ers made it into the Superbowl after such a long wandering in the wilderness, I made a point of going to a sports bar to watch it, something I almost never do. I was hoping to celebrate a win by the hometown boys with my “neighbors”, but when that didn’t happen, I just said, “Aww, too bad”, and ordered another drink. The universe is too full of interesting stuff to spend a lot of time focused on a bunch of overpaid and overgrown teenagers who throw a rubber ball around for a living.
Garfunkel and Oates have a pretty good take on this sports cult crap.
“It is really quite embarrassing the indignities that sports fans are willing to endure”
Yes. So to sooth you because your favourites the Costa Rica team has lost to Oranje on penalties and to sooth myself because one of my all time favourite players was instrumental in that loss (a win for me) I provide you this excellent compilation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTJ_4kJlwpQ
Bryan Ruiz will never be forgotten in Enschede, even if he now plays for another Dutch team.
@MNb,
Thanks for that. Ruiz is really something. I particularly liked the goals where he does not hit it hard but gently puts it in just the right place to evade the goal keeper.
I never could get the hang of sports enthusiasm and vicarious achievement through a team which has pretty much nothing in common with me except the general vicinity of the place the team calls home. Particularly since that so called home is entirely arbitrary and subject to change if a more profitable location becomes available.
At one point in time lower level sports teams would almost exclusively draw on the local population for talent. the Cleavland team would be packed with men from Cleveland and the team deeply identified with the city.
Now the players are recruited from the entire nation, sometimes the world, and the home location was decided by the local populations willingness to get scammed into building a stadium, sports center, and grant tax breaks.
LeBron James is returning to Cleveland