I heard all about the American torpedo attack that sunk the Iranian frigate, Dena, in the Indian Ocean. I couldn’t miss it — multiple channels on YouTube were replaying the footage over and over again. There’s an Iranian warship sailing along, when suddenly it was struck in the stern by a massive explosion that lifted the vessel out of the water, breaking it’s back and leading to its rapid sinking. It was glorious war footage, I guess.

Then Pete Hegseth is on all the news, bragging about the victory and all those dumb, blind Iranian sailors who met their fate at the hands of the brave American navy.

At least 87 sailors were killed in the torpedo attack in international waters in the Indian Ocean, and the Sri Lankan navy responded to the Dena’s distress call and rescued 32 survivors, but 61 members of the crew are still missing. The U.S. didn’t respond to the call, and Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth crowed about the attack to reporters on Wednesday.

“An American submarine sunk an Iranian warship that thought it was safe in international waters. Instead, it was sunk by a torpedo,” Hegseth said, calling it a “quiet death.” As a result of the attack, an Iranian supply tanker that was also near Sri Lanka, the IRIS Bushehr, has taken refuge in the island country.

The news stories, until now, didn’t mention one horrible, ignoble fact.

The U.S. Navy’s attack on an Iranian frigate, the IRIS Dena, on Wednesday was the first time an American submarine has sunk an enemy ship since World War II. But the Dena may not have been armed because it was returning from an international exercise in the Indian Ocean, and the U.S. Navy likely knew it because it was taking part in the same exercise.

Both the United States and Iran were taking part in the MILAN 2026 exercise, organized by the Indian Navy, on February 15–26, with the U.S. sending a maritime patrol aircraft and Iran sending the Dena. Iranian sailors from the ship paraded on land before India’s president.

The exercise in question required ships not to carry any ammunition. Normally, the Dena carries various missiles and guns, including anti-ship missiles. Because the U.S. also took part, it would have been aware that the Dena was unarmed. Former Indian Foreign Minister Kanwal Sibal accused the attack of being “premeditated as the US was aware of the Iranian ship’s presence in the exercise.”

To add to the United State’s shame, the IRIS Dena immediately sent out a distress call; the Sri Lankan navy responded to rescue survivors. The American navy, despite obviously having a ship nearby, ignored the SOS.

Pete Hegseth is a motherfucking chickenshit coward. “Warfighter,” my ass.

We knew it had to be inevitable: Noem has been fired. All that cosmetic surgery and dental work to please her boss didn’t help.

Unfortunately, she’s being replaced by Markwayne Mullin, one of the dumbest sad-sack MAGAs in the Trump camp. This must be the smell of war he’s been talking about.

Questions remain: will Kristi ever get her blankie back? What about her boy toy, Corey Lewandowski? I hope there’s a camera crew around when she knocks on the door of her husband, Bryon.

And of course, we all want to know who the next cabinet member to get two bullets to the back of the head will be. Markwayne is new, but I think he’s in a good position for it.

This government is clearly planning to put boots on the ground in Iran. They’re declaring that it is Jesus/Trump’s will to launch Armageddon now.

A combat-unit commander told non-commissioned officers at a briefing Monday that the Iran war is part of God’s plan and that Pres. Donald Trump was “anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to Earth,” according to a complaint by a non-commissioned officer.

From Saturday morning through Monday night, more than 110 similar complaints about commanders in every branch of the military had been logged by the Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF).

The complaints came from more than 40 different units spread across at least 30 military installations, the MRFF told me Monday night.

When our military leaders start using apocalyptic language at the start of a war, worry.

“This morning our commander opened up the combat readiness status briefing by urging us to not be “afraid” as to what is happening with our combat operations in Iran right now. He urged us to tell our troops that this was “all part of God’s divine plan” and he specifically referenced numerous citations out of the Book of Revelation referring to Armageddon and the imminent return of Jesus Christ. He said that “President Trump has been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to Earth.”

— MRFF active duty NCO client, writing on behalf of themself and 15 other unit members

Let’s hope that this doesn’t happen and that we aren’t sifting through the ashes looking for something to eat next week. And if it doesn’t happen, every single one of these goddamn bible-thumping murderous commanders must be dismissed and drummed out of the military in disgrace.

While we’re at it, can we also get the names of all the White House personnel who are currently lining up to put inside bets on the date of the invasion on Polymarket? They need to be jailed or executed, too.

I’m sure it’s just a routine formality that the White House Correspondents Association invites every president, every year to attend their annual dinner, only this year the corpulent orange pedophile has accepted the invitation, and has of course turned it into a notable accomplishment. It’s not. But still…this man suffers from a tragic metastatic cancer of the narcissism gland.

I have doubts that many of these “Correspondents” now admit that | am truly one of the Greatest Presidents in the History of our Country, the G.O.A.T., according to many, but now that he has packed the White House press room with toadies from the fringes of “journalism”, he might just have a few more supporters in attendance. I will be disappointed if the real journalists in the room don’t turn it into a roast. Ah, screw it, I expect to be disappointed and for this to be nothing but an exercise in applied sycophancy. The media sucks.

He even expects the food to be the GREATEST, HOTTEST, and MOST SPECTACULAR? Serve him cold, bland porridge, and dump it in his lap.

The United States is going to distinguish itself historically.

We’ve already had our plague years but maybe we can do it again, and this time our tyrant will succumb. Then we can take over the Delian League/NATO and turn it into our personal empire before a more powerful nation to the West stomps on us. The future is bright!

You don’t support ICE or join the Republican party unless you’re afraid. Enjoy this collection of stories of chickenshit conservatives.

In the latest installment of “Immigration and Customs Enforcement thugs are big babies,” Oregon Public Radio obtained some incredibly distressing audio of an armed ICE agent—safely ensconced in an unmarked vehicle—who called 911 in October 2025 because he was being followed by a kid on an e-bike.

Yes, really.

But the problem here isn’t just that ICE agent Israel D. Hernandez was apparently so freaked out by a child biking near his car that he felt it warranted an emergency police response.

The real problem is that Hernandez told the 911 operator, “I need someone here now, or else I’m going to have to shoot this kid.”

Hernandez even pulled his service weapon out of the central console so he could be locked and loaded to protect himself from the child.

Dude, you know you could have just, like, sped up, right? You’re in a car, the kid is on a bike.

But according to Hernandez, the kid came up to his window and perhaps even broke one of the vehicle’s mirrors, so he told the dispatcher, “I’m going to have to act on this kid right now.”

I think it would be neat to have an e-bike, except that they’re only useable for about 6 months out of the year here, unless you like freezing your face off. The weather does not discourage Minnesotans in other ways, though.

In December, they begged Minneapolis police and the Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office to help them, claiming that “we only have a few officers but we have 60 to 70 agitators fighting them.”

Sounds serious!

Except what really happened was that people stood around yelling at ICE and throwing some snowballs while the agents violently detained a woman, dragging her on the icy ground on her stomach. Local law enforcement dutifully arrived, only to say that there were no “life-safety conditions” requiring a response and took off after 10 minutes.

None of this is surprising, since they’re led by a demented coward, a guy who never served and doesn’t respect the military, but was willing to send bombs and missiles against Iranian targets. And then wouldn’t even answer questions about his responsibilities!

President Trump did not answer shouted questions on Iran when he returned to Washington tonight. He did comment on new statues that have been installed in the Rose Garden, telling reporters, “Unbelievable statues.”

He’s always on the lookout for distractions from the hard questions.

I don’t care about his statues. I hope they’re knocked down and hauled to a garbage dump the instant he’s out of office, may that day arrive soon.

Germans are masters of the biting parade float.

How do they make those things? We need to import some German artisans to teach us the skill.

Kevin O’Leary is a Canadian. Can we put him in a concentration camp?

(Also, that chyron gives me the heebie-jeebies.)