Miri is ruining everyone’s fun again, telling stories about being bullied in school, and showing this fierce video.

I was lucky. I wasn’t really bullied; my fate was to be neglected and marginalized. I was the dirt poor kid who wasn’t a jock or popular, so I was mostly uncategorizable and overlooked. An example to illustrate the weird social limbo I was in: I was only one of four kids at the school to be a national merit finalist; I’d gotten a near-perfect score on the SATs. We all got invited to the principal’s office when this was announced, and he sat us down: the basketball star, the doctor’s kid, the straight A student (and no resentment against any of those three — all were good people), and me. The principal knew all the others well, they had a good reputation, and he was joking around with them, and then he turned and gave me this look…’whothehellisthis and whyshouldItalkto him’, sniffed and turned back to the others, without saying a word to me.

We got the honor of a few minutes announcement at a school assembly, and it was similarly weird. Each of us four were announced, the teachers and principal said a few lovely things about them, and then they came to me, last, and just said my name, nothing more, before moving on. It was nice to be mentioned, but man, I was clearly regarded as the aberrant weirdo who was only there by mistake. I was the outlier, the person from the wrong class (make no mistake, classism thrives in America), the nobody who didn’t fit.

Again, I wasn’t bullied much in high school. I wasn’t angry at that treatment. What it did instead was make me someone who never felt a lot of self-worth and just kind of generally alone and miserable. But fortunately another thing I lacked was the serious depression that many people experience, even when they aren’t neglected, and so I’ve managed to cope.

I do sometimes wonder what it would have been like to actually have a teacher take an interest in me and encourage me, but at least I never had one make my life difficult. I was too invisible for that.

With very little notice, I’m going to be in the Berkeley-Oakland area Tuesday and Wednesday, Feb. 26 & 27. My schedule is somewhat in flux at the moment what with borrowing cars and catching up with close friends and family I haven’t seen in too long, but should there be sufficient interest in a FlashHorde Beer Hour, I will carve out the time to make that happen. Discuss.

I’m wrapping up book editing today, so I plan on spending the whole afternoon staring fixedly at a screen (oh, wait, isn’t that usually what I’m doing? OK, staring with less typing). I am going to be so boring for a while (oh, wait, I’m always boring. I might as well just wrap this up, every word is a lie anyway).

Restart: busy. Staying offline for a while.

But I’m thinking…who would like to do a Pharyngula hangout this weekend? Leave a comment, suggest times (it would be nice to bring in people who usually have time zone problems), and possible topics. Maybe I should nag this Chris Clarke fella to join in, too.

Now…back to work.

We got about a foot of snow here this weekend, and a blizzard is supposed to blow through after midnight…so the university has cancelled all the early morning classes, including my 8am developmental biology course! How dare they!

This weekend, I got the next two weeks worth of lectures all prepped, and now I’m so disappointed that I don’t get to talk about this really cool stuff tomorrow. But I guess that’s better than having students kill themselves on slickery nasty roads in white-out conditions. I guess.

This letter was so out of character with all the other stuff in my mailbox, and so unexpected, that I was taken aback. I’m so used to threats and hatred and ranty angry petty bullshit pouring in that I was left confused and wondering how to reply.

Dear PZ Myers,

I read your blog. The place from which I love and appreciate your blog is deep, deep within this 59 year old woman’s self. I started reading your blog because of my interest in science. I am an amateur follower of anthropology news and started out reading John Hawks’ blog, then somehow ended up at Panda’s Thumb and then at your blog; and those 3 blogs still remain a core reading set for me.

But your blog has held me captive more intensely than any other and I return to it “religiously” in ways I don’t with the others. The reason being–you publicly stand as an ally of women and feminism. That is a new thing to see happen in the world and was not around when I was growing up and attending schools. It was deeply longed for, though.

Thank you.

I do not comment on internet sites but I wanted to let you know in a private setting how much I appreciate your fierce defense of women and feminism. I have sent your link to many friends.

BTW–I love this idea of Atheism+! I love the strong women I read about within this new push for social justice in atheist/skeptic movements. I was so let down by Dawkins’ reaction to Rebecca Watson. It was your defense of her that gained my trust and secured me as a repeat visitor to your blog. And your continued tough support has kept me reading you. I find it so healing to see a man choose to lend his influence in public support of women/feminism under attack. Girlhood in the catholic church, in a catholic family, in the world at large, leaves many patriarchal wounds that would like to be healed, even the ones we have blown off as we stomp our way through survival. For that is what we mostly do–we survive and find the ways we can best thrive by creating the love and nurturing we always wanted, despite the awfulness.

Wait, wait…there’s something. Something from a long, long time ago. My mother might have told me how I was supposed to respond when someone says something nice, but man, that’s been ages and I’m struggling to remember it. Something complicated? Something really tricky and difficult?

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.