As a man who was born a Chad (I keep telling myself), I am immune to the “looksmaxxing” trend, but apparently a lot of men have fallen prey to it, and it’s hurting them.

But for some young men who participate in an online community called “looksmaxxing,” those self-critiques can become excessive. And the criticism they receive from other members — and their suggested remedies, which can include self-injury and surgery — are even more extreme.

Looksmaxxing is, on the surface, about trying to look your best in order to attract a partner. But a new study from Dalhousie University says while the community is framed as self-help, it can be harmful to participants.

This shouldn’t be a surprise. If you tell people that their only value is their appearance, they’ll obsess over their looks. We’ve known this for years from the way our society treats women, and now young men are being hit by the phenomenon.

Green says the hypersexualization that women have felt for decades has been hitting guys acutely in recent years, with social media messages that push the physical ideals of being tall and muscular.

“I happened to be at a hotel gym just last week and the manager of the gym said this place is packed with teenage guys from like 4 until 6 in the afternoon, but no one’s doing any cardio,” says Green. “They’re all doing weight training.”

They’re not doing this for their health, but to impress other even more obsessed people online. The source of the problem isn’t individuals — they’re getting screwed up and are victims — but a whole shallow, superficial culture that skews people’s perspectives, and it’s actually killing people.

Halpin says the looksmaxxing community can cause harm in several ways, firstly by creating body image issues in men and boys.

“They’re finding flaws that I think people outside of that community wouldn’t really find,” he says. “So, they’re teaching people how to look at their bodies in a really critical, negative way.”

The solutions members suggest to remedy perceived physical shortcomings can also be risky and cause harm, Halpin says.

But most disturbing, Halpin says, is the regular encouragement participants give each other to die by suicide.

“We saw numerous men being told that they’re beyond help, beyond saving,” Halpin says. “It’s like, your appearance is set, nothing you can do will help you and you should complete suicide because looks are all that matter and you’re going to have a terrible life because you’re an ugly man.”

We should take this problem seriously, but then I learned about the fad of “mewing,” the practice of pushing the tongue against the roof of the mouth to achieve a more masculine jaw. Fine. That sounds harmless, and mostly pointless. But then I learned about the origins of the practice. It’s promoted by this squirrely looking guy:

There’s nothing wrong with his appearance, but he doesn’t represent some kind of classical ideal of masculinity — he’s just a guy. Maybe we can cure people of “looksmaxxing” by sharing that photo around.

Sure. And then people will start floating photos of George Clooney around. We all want to look like handsome George.

Did you know that early in his career George Clooney starred in a movie called Return of the Killer Tomatoes?

We’re all a little bit squirrely. It’s part of our charm.

That wasn’t fun at all. I went to bed last night, and then at 11, like a magical evil switch being flipped, I was suddenly vomiting. I was puking all night long. Even worse was the diarrhea. I was so incapacitated that I was just lying in my slimy filthy effluvia all night as my gastrointestinal tract tried to turn itself inside out with peristalsis.

The heaving subsided by morning, but I was exhausted, barely able to think or move, and my wife told me I needed to go into urgent care right away. I said no, I’m too tired. She said yes and chivvied me out to the car and got me checked in. Good thing she did, too: my blood pressure was 60/40. That was an odd experience, to be so low on energy that I could barely move and not even interested in moving.

The doctors pumped me full of IV fluids and finally let me go home when my bp was 106/70.

I missed today’s class, I’m hoping to make it to lab tomorrow.

The lesson learned: have a partner who can kick you into gear when your engine isn’t ticking over, and who is willing to do the most disgusting load of laundry I’ve ever seen.

Is he lucky because he gets to meet real live aliens, or because he’s being taken away from this wretched mess of a planet? I see it both ways.

Good ridda…wait. He was 68 years old? The same age I am? It’s sorta sad when people die so young.

But that guy? I won’t be mourning.

One of our colleagues came back from their break in Jordan with treats for us all.

And some people don’t properly appreciate immigrants from diverse backgrounds.

The bad thing is that now I’ll have to avoid the mailroom all day so that I’m not tempted.

I’ve been away from the habit of delivering long orations, so today in my first class returning from a long break, I suffered from wobbly knees, and worst of all, I only made it halfway through lecture before my voice started to rasp and fade. Uh-oh. I have many more hours of talking ahead of me.

After class, I ran out and bought some chamomile tea, and also some honey lemon ginseng tea. I think I’ll bring a cup to my classes so I can lube up partway through. Does anyone have recommendations for habits/chemical reagents that I should use to strengthen my voice and to help me get through hour long lectures on very dry topics?

Sabbatical is over. Fall break is over. I haven’t retired yet. Time to get back in the classroom.

God and I apparently have similar outlooks on the future.