Back in October, Trump got an MRI as part of a supposedly routine physical, which was weird. MRIs aren’t routine, they’re usually done in response to specific concerns, and further, Trump didn’t know what was scanned.
Following persistent social media speculation, as well as a November 30, 2025, call from Minnesota Governor Tim Walz to release Donald Trump’s MRI results from his October visit to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center (via Twitter), reporters aboard Air Force One pressed the president to clarify the reason for the advanced imaging. Trump said he didn’t know which part of his body was scanned, but insisted, “It wasn’t the brain, because I took a cognitive test and I aced it.”
I think that a legitimate part of a cognitive test would be to put the person in a massive clanking, clunking machine on a dolly that shuffles them back and forth and ask them what was scanned. If they don’t know, they failed it. Amazingly, I’ve had two MRIs this past year, once for my head and once for my knee, and I knew exactly what they were for every step of the way.
I am pleased to know what the purpose of the president’s MRI was, finally.
President Trump undergoes MRI of rectum to determine just how many Republicans remain firmly wedged there.
We still don’t know the number, though. I’m sure it was huge, really huge, the biggest crowd ever.
This begs for a dedicated episode of South Park!
@ ^ birgerjohansson : yes. yes, it does.
Also, yup, that explains it.
Explains Trump’s famously huge stinking back side too.. (What a diet of junk food and minimal execise, well,, yeah, nah, still reckon its all those Repugs stuck up there..)
i argue that it -was- a cognitive test, since that’s clearly where he keeps his brains.
he arsed it.
If Eric Cartman could get a huge alien parabolic antenna stuck in there, getting Republicans there is a small task, if their bodies are as flexible as their morals.
At least there should be plenty of incompletely digested fast food up there for them to feast upon.