I never thought of it from this angle before, but maybe Noah was a devious guy with a bestiality obsession, and he invented that whole flood nonsense as an excuse to check out animals’ genitals. That makes more sense than the book of Genesis, that’s for sure.
It also suggests how we ought to view all those weirdos today who are insisting on laws to check out children’s genitals. There’s no social catastrophe, just a lot of perverts who think they have a cunning excuse.
I see you spell it like the sergeant in Dr Strangelove.
BTW what if we GM parrots into being sapient and allow them into schools? They are notoriously difficult to check for gender.
If you want the truth about Noah and how he made God out of decaying Schwartzwalder Kirsch torte, then read Jeanette Winterson’s ‘Boating for Beginners’. I let a Christian friend read my copy and he destroyed it and threatened me into the bargain. “I should have taken that book and forced it up your arse”
Well, there is that story about Noah getting drunk and cursing Canaan for Ham seeing him naked. Sounds kind of kinky if you ask me.
@submoron, # 2: Thanks for the suggestion-I just put that book on my “must read” list.
Also see Nebula Award winner “Bible Stories for Adults, No. 17: The Deluge” in James Morrow’s Bible Stories for Adults. (Alas, there aren’t 17 such stories in the book.)
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prevert
Ah, got it.
submoron @ #2 — Seems like a strange idea of “friend”…Christian or otherwise.
Guardian – “Dalai Lama apologises after kissing boy and asking him to ‘suck my tongue’”:
@2 submoron
It’s “Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte”.
@ Pierce R. Butler, # 5: Thanks!
@ robro, # 7: With a friend like that, you’ll never need an enema.
Robro @7 He ‘meant well’ but I agree.
Iasius @9 Thanks. I used a spell checker when I should have known better. Most of my German nowadays is reading texts of for Bach, Beethoven, Schumann and Schubert music. My Mum would have put me right.
Christoph @ 11.exactly.
Might I recommend Cook and Moore ‘Gospel Truth’?
submoron @ #2 I found a copy of Winterson’s book that I could read a bit of online. Funny stuff, but isn’t there one flaw with premise: if as it’s widely believed by the believers that the flood was the first rain, that would mean before the flood there would have been no rivers, no seas or oceans…no boats, no rafts, no water borne excursions. Poor Noah would have been out of a job.
(Apparently he was out of work until after the flood when he learned to farm, grew some grapes, made some wine, and got smashed. I’ve known quite a few farmers in my life and alcoholism was not uncommon.)
robro @7:
To me, a strange idea of ‘friend’ would be someone with whom you’ve never had vehement disagreements (possibly including threats of violence). Friendship is a crucible.
I…don’t think any of my disagreements with friends have ever involved threats of violence. I imagine that would spell the end of that friendship.
SC (Salty Current) @ #15 — Me either. In fact, I’ve never been in a situation where someone I knew threatened me with violence except for once and that person had been dosed with something that put him over the edge of reality.
SC (Salty Current) @ #15 — Me either. In fact, I’ve never been in a situation where someone I knew threatened me with violence except for once and that person had been dosed with something that put him over the edge of reality.