Would you believe this is a campaign ad for Ted Cruz?
Mmm-mmm-mmmmmmm. Tastes like gun oil, industrial machinery, greasy fast food, and death — the flavors of America!
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
That’s one way to ruin the Internet’s love affair with bacon.
That’s awful – he should have wrapped the cooked bacon in a deep-fried page page from a bible before eating it.
Is that where the term pork-barreling comes from?
From a bacon lover’s point of view, that’s horrible abuse of bacon. From a gun-nut’s point of view, that’s horrible abuse of a gun.
I’m not sure what the intended audience for this ad actually is.
Is this guy trying to pledge some frat?
Good God. Has ever a more blatant sop been thrown to the regressive GOP base?
Seriously. If they can’t see through that ridiculously transparent grab for their votes then I shall lose all hope.
That said, the video was better than I expected. I had horrible premonitions of him shooting a pig. And incidentally, that’s not a machine gun. Here’s hoping that enough of the NRA/GOP crossover are pedantic enough for that to count against him.
Yeah, because rifles are toys. “Irresponsible git” is the best I can do right now without setting off some internal profanity filter right now. (Not sure why I bother with those but they’re there)
Just imagine what a fine role model that idiot would make as, ahem, “leader of the free world”. Or just replay the video again.
Horrible people who love bacon and guns and think this is clever?
Oh look at that, Mr. Smug does something stupid and blatantly pandering. Seeing him always makes me glad to see Trump run, because I’d expect that draws away a lot of the same voters. They have similar styles, foibles and whatnot, but Trump goes to eleven.
@Thumper #6
Ever seen this ad from Will Brooke, a Republican who ran for a US House seat in Alabama last year? It involves Brooke driving out to the woods and setting up a box so he can “have a little fun” and literally shoot a hard copy of Obamacare. Which he then proceeds to do with a pistol, bolt action rifle, and finally an AR-15 like in the cooking with Cruz performance piece above (spoiler alert: Brooke lost the election).
@10 HolyPinkUnicorn
What’s with the love of right-wingers for the AR-15 specifically, by the way? Whenever the “lonely woman trying to defend herself from an intruder”-hypothetical for gun rights is brought up, she has an AR-15. Whenever some politician needs a gun that doesn’t look like a hunting rifle, they use it, too, it seems. Do they get money for product placement or something? Or do they just think the AR-15 is a particularly awesome-looking-super-macho gun or something? Why all the love… not just for guns… but for the AR-15 specifically?
Larry @8:
The thing is, guns and bacon aren’t just tribal identity markers that can be mixed up willy-nilly; they’re things people really do love and enjoy. That horrible person who loves his guns and sees the ad is going to know that Cruz does not, in fact, love his own guns given how horribly he treats guns. It’s like Cruz roasted his bacon over an open fire fueled by American flags.
This responsible gun owner treats his people-killing machine with the full respect and caution that it deserves.
Ted Cruz: Ivy-League dweeb trying to look like an Ivy-League dweeb’s impression of a redneck.
@ HolyPinkUnicorn
I had not. Wow. “I love guns and hate Obamacare. Vote for me!”. That is less subtle. I didn’t think it were possible.
@ Saganite #11
I often wonder this as well. They do seem to have a particular hard-on for it. I suspect because it’s the most military-esque rifle that it’s legal to own in the US, but I could be wrong.
You know how gun fondlers talk about “responsible ownership”, well I don’t think this is it.
I’ll have to show this to my son. Might be interesting to hear what he has to say about someone treating a gun that way.
I can’t say about right-wingers, but it’s a very popular style among the young shooters I know…and they are not right-wingers. I suspect it’s because similar gun styles are used in FPS games.
The gun fondler love of the AR-15 is definitely related to its status as progenitor of the M-16 and its use in wars against the evil commies, even though both are utter shit compared to the commie AK-47. The initial roll-out of the M-16 in Vietnam was a disaster, and things really have not improved too much over the years.
@Saganite #11
I suspect that it’s a combination of availability and that it’s an American gun.
@Saganite #11
I don’t completely understand why it’s so popular; much of American gun culture makes utterly no sense to me, and is at best embarrassing, like with the Cruz ad, or just plain tragic, like with all the gun related suicides and accidents that so frequently occur.
My guess is partly that the AR-15 is a very American weapon, in the sense that its original AR-10 model was by an American designer and the M16 that eventually came from this has been issued in various versions to the US military for fifty years. For comparison, the WWII era M1 Garand was designed by a Canadian, and who knows how much that counts towards citizenship and patriotism when in the hands of a Canadian born candidate.
The AR-15 is also pretty modular with various magazine sizes and attachments (Cruz’s bacon cooker has a holographic sight), albeit usually not in a very cheap manner, or offering any real practicality for hunting or even home invasion. In other words, if you genuinely need a red dot sight and thirty round magazines to hunt deer or fight off a home invader, you’re in way over your head. But it does make for a superfluous and fun weapon that can apparently even cook bacon if you don’t mind spending the extra money it takes to fire enough ammunition for the sole purpose of heating up the barrel. But again, AR-15s are not about frugality or practicality.
A bolt action is enough for hunting when using a rifle, and is cheaper and simpler than most semiautomatics. Pistols and shotguns are also a lot more practical for home invasion, and have nowhere near the range of a rifle. Rifles are generally not recommended because of this, lest an armed homeowner gets a little too enthusiastic in invoking the castle doctrine and rains some stray lead down upon any neighbor within a few hundred yards (the AR-15 is sometimes criticized for using a fairly small caliber bullet, but the Marines qualify with the M16 on targets out to 500 yards).
He was hoping to position himself as the darling of the Republican fringe. Now, he’s having to out-crazy Trump. Cut the poor man some slack.
For his next act, he will make machines guns using only bacon.
I think the AR-15 is popular because it was used to kill a bunch of kids so they’re deity-fying it on the “logic” that liberals hate it.
What about bacon.
Is it revered because health concious (meaning wimpy I guess) liberals say it’s unhealthty?
Or is it rejection of science without military applications?
It amazes me that when someone uses an AR-15 to shoot up a school or a movie theatre it is ‘insensitive’ to talk about gun control when the victims bodies aren’t even cold yet. But it is not insensitive, while James Holmes’ sentence for killing 12 people with an AR-15 is being deliberated, to do something as trite as cook bacon with said rifle. To show images of dripping fat, splattered all over the floor. Just what they do in Texas. Yes, the video is comical from a liberal point of view but it is also a sinister mix of goofball, reckless self interest and indifference to others. Just what they do in Texas.
I blame Donald Trump. It seems the batshit bar has been lowered so much that I’m slightly terrified what these clowns will do next to one-up the other. I’m half expecting jello wrestling or strangling a puppy on national TV.
This could backfire. Gun nuts will immediately recognize that this is not a machine gun–in fact is not even an assault weapon. It’s a semiautomatic AR-15. Rachel Maddow has already publicized this, but it would be obvious to any gun nut. Generally speaking, misusing gun terminology tends to outrage them.
if this is what they are doing at this stage of the election cycle I really can’t wait to see what depths or heights will be reached as we head into the home stretch in the final weeks next year.
comedy is king I suppose
uncle frogy
So this is some form of clever way to “kill two birds with one stone” [ignore the ironic pun]
That is,
sorry. It is not possible for me to cope with that commercial without turning it into some kind of parody.
To be honest, I am a little worried that Trump will be the next president.
Sadly, misusing guns tends to outrage them less.
Nomadiq, could you not? “Hurhur, stupid Texans” gets really old after a while. Yes there are a lot of Texans who like Cruz, but like anywhere else with a population of ~20million we are not a monolith, and there are plenty of us who think he’s a complete pandering dope. The entire problem with Cruz is that he’s entirely too smart, while banking on the underestimation that comes with playing the redneck.
I submit as evidence of this: the fact that he’s the only republican who hasn’t been frantically distancing himself from Trump. I think he’s angling for one of two outcomes, Trumps VP or getting Trumps backing (read: money) if Trump does bow out.
Don’t worry, world, he won’t be president.
That fact is reassuring. On the other hand, he already is a U.S. Senator.
I know it’s a cliche to say you’d leave the country if a particular candidate gets elected. It’s usually a hollow threat or sour grapes — a way of saying that you’d not debase yourself because your team lost. It’s basically the political equivalent of rage quitting a video game.
But I honestly think I’ll have to flee the country if Trump is elected. This isn’t about saving face or resentment. It’s not even about politics. It’s about safety. Just imagine that guy’s appointments to the EPA. Would you even feel comfortable drinking water?
If he wins the primaries, I’m going to start seriously looking for a place to relocate. ABANDON SHIP!
Rawnaeris, that is brilliant and horrifying.
People that are stupid enough to vote Republican?
Only when it’s someone they disagree with. Cruz will get very little flak from the gun hobbyists about his terminology.
@anteprepro, it’s one of the things that legitimately scares me about Cruz. People see “redneck stupid Texan” (thanks Bush) and don’t stop to think about the tactical advantage inherent in having your opponents underestimate you.
It’s a creation and variant of the underdog story that everyone loves. Think “Rocky” only real. And political. And terrifying.
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The right has been ever slipping into absurdity, but this year – possibly ignited by Trump – they have gone straight into self-parody mode.
One needn’t even make jokes. Saturday Night Live needn’t do a sketch. Just watch them in real time, on their own, doing character impressions of themselves.
Phil Robertson may have something to do with it. His jackassery has been relatively successful, and no one’s shut him down. Cruz at al probably think they can just go for it. There are plenty of people who will buy into it.
Plus, to get what they really want…money from donors and the Fed…they get no matter what they do, just as long as they can stay in the game. If they make it on the ticket, fine…more money. If they win, even better…more money. If they loose…too bad, they’ll run for something else and make…more money.
We don’t have a democracy we have a money printing system.
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@33 ryancunningham:
I have been investigating this for over a month. I am sincerely scared for the country with how popular some of these Republican candidates are. My family may follow through with it even if Republicans don’t win next year.
I’m too lazy to try currently, but I have to wonder if this ad wouldn’t be much improved by replacing the soundtrack with “O Fortuna”.
Yay! The Disemvoweling Engine still works! At least, I hope it does: doing it manually would be a pain.
AK-47 bacon is better, but Ted probably considers it unpatriotic. M-60 bacon is the best, but belt-fed weapons are hard to find.