Oglaf captures the god sentiment exactly right. I’m also going to be suggesting to all the religious people around me that they try peeling their bananas from the other end.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Perfect. And opening a banananana from the proper end is much easier.
Bananananas are fine. It’s which end of the egg to open that causes wars.
That god is as big an asshole as Yahweh.
Daz:
True. The egg question is even more divisive than the mayonnaise/salad cream/miracle whip mess.
Caine, I know not this miracle whip of which you speak.
Mayonnaise/salad cream/miracle whip mess? Easily resolved. I prefer ketchup.
Miracle Whip is an abomination created by fundamental masochistic heretics.
*reminds self never to try PZ’s coleslaw*
You forgot to mention that Oglaf is NSFHWMWIH.*
Also, note that God lacks a beard, hence not very macho.
*Not Safe For Home When My Wife Is Home.
PZ:
Oh, rats below. Awfulness. Heresy. Blasphemwhatever. No, no, no. Long ago, in a far away place, there was a person who put ketchup on tacos.
Daz, miracle whip is the ‘merican version of salad cream.
Just so you don’t put it on hot dogs.
Only commercial Mayonnaise like Hellmann’s may be served at Case la pelirroja. Miracle Whip means broken bones…
I take it PZ is talking about mushroom ketchup.
I’m facing a worse dilemma by far. Bishops Finger or Old Speckled Hen?
…So God looks like Klaus Kinski!
Walnut Catsup is better than mushroom catsup. So sayeth I.
I’ll take your word for it, Caine, but only because I don’t feel like arguing tonight.
I found a recipe for walnut ketchup. It’s a bit more work than I’m willing to put into a food project, especially since I don’t know where I can get green walnuts.
Daz @14
Considering the OP, Bishop’s Finger is the obvious choice.
The which end of the egg question is easy.
Use the egg to smash the bananananana.
Al Dente
Oddly enough, my choice was made on the same reasoning.
Al Dente:
My catsup recipes are 18th century, there’s quite a bit of work in parsing the recipes to modern standards. (I haz a bunch of old household ‘Enquire Within’ books.) You can get green walnuts online, but only during a particular time of year.
Green Walnuts.
I’ve been working with some folks from Brazil recently. They put ketchup on everything…even pizza.
Robro:
I don’t believe it. You managed to detail a crime worse than ketchup on tacos.
Thanks, Caine, but I’ll stick with mushroom ketchup.
I once went to a restaurant and was served a taco on a cold flour tortilla, filled with ground beef, grated cheddar and ketchup.
After that I learned to be very, very cautious about where I got Mexican food in Wisconsin.
I have found that people in Thailand think we are strange because we peel a banana from the stalk end. They split the banana at the other end thereby leaving the stalk as a handle to hold it with.
dionigi:
That’s how you’re supposed to do it. It’s in the Holy Book of Bananananas and everything.
I saw ketchup put on pizza in Fiji in 1980.
My host explained that Fijians put ketchup on all non-Fijian food.
This turned out to be no exaggeration.
oh, and
Oglaf is a god.
Ketchup? Mayo? It doesn’t matter, as long as you always practice safe snacks and use a condiment.
Ketchup on pizza is a guilty pleasure that I discovered when I did a dare from my friends. However it eventually led me to a great deal of experimentation with various condiments on pizza, a little Hellmans mayo and ketchup with peas on a meat filled pizza is quite delicious but only in small amounts.
“discovered that I liked”
Sometimes I hate my fingers for not entering my complete thoughts.
Fijians put ketchup on all non-Fijian food.
Do they put ketchup on their ketchup?
Marcus Ranum #34
you have recursed me into a mobius
it might be the rum
Ketchup makes haggis almost edible. Not quite, but almost.
Daz,
Easily resolved. You clearly require Old Golden Hen: http://www.iamstaggered.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Old-Golden-Hen.jpg
I usually do ketchup, mustard, and warm sauerkraut on my hot dogs and brats, and a mixture of BBQ sauce and sriracha on my polish sausages.
And yes, Miracle Whip is foulness squeezed from Shub Niggurath’s…err… Is that a teet or a penis… Or both?
dionigi:
Years ago I watched a video of monkeys eating bananas. They all opened them from the non-stalk end. I tried it and found it’s quite obviously the best way to do it. If you can’t trust monkeys, what can you trust? I was quite shocked that everyone I know opens bananas the stupid way. My wife still does, even though she agrees that the monkey way is better.
Eating bananas stalk-end first is an abomination unto Nuggan.
That god looks like Charlton Heston to me, or maybe Schwarzenegger. Either way, he’s fugly. A good thing he’s only a figment of the imagination.
1) Mayonnaise. Never salad cream.
2) Open bananas like chimps do it. They are the subject matter experts.
3) Bishop’s Finger or Old Speckled Hen? Neither. RINGWOOD FORTYNINER!!!!!!
4) Haggis is delicious. Ketchup on haggis is an Abomination. Whiskey sauce on the other hand…
5) Thou shalt enjoy rugby. No exceptions. Soccer is nonsense and American Football is a violation of all that is good with the world. Don’t get me started on Australians.
You have been told. You shall obey lest there be a wailing and gnashing of teeth and a general descent into madness.
Louis
Yeah Oglaf. Not really safe for anywhere. I’ve had some friends who I thought would enjoy the comic but the density of disclaimers I felt were required to make the suggestion made the conversation a bit awkward. (they ended up enjoying the comic, and in retrospect totally understood the disclaimer)
I really am kind of shocked when I see Oglaf comics pop up places. Makes me feel a bit less like a deviant.
Someone go tell Comfort the news. Bananas: the theist’s nightmare.
Is opening bananas from the stem end easy?
Yes.
Have I ever suffered loss of any part of a banana due to opening it at the stem end?
No.
Is a banana easy to hold by the non-stem end?
Yes.
Are there things we do better than chimps?
Yes.
I say STEM END OPENING, HATERS.
Carlie,
You will be first against the wall when the Revolution comes.
Your sort probably enjoys store bought, low fat mayonnaise.
Louis
@Trebuchet:
Oglaf isn’t always NSF-whatever. It’s a strip-by-strip basis.
The previous one, definitely NSF-whatever.
This one, perfectly fine.
Ketchup with lobster?
latsot #
Odd. I’ve never seen the Golden variety. Looks a bit pale, but I’ll watch for it. Thanks.
Louis #42
3) RINGWOOD FORTYNINER
Oh you heathen you. That’s just a mislabelled bitter.
4) Haggis is delicious.
Ah, you redeemed yourself. And I now have to try it with whiskey sauce.
5) Thou shalt enjoy rugby union. League is an abomination unto all that is holy.
The only valid strategies of banana processing are top down or bottom up.
I heard rugbyplayers are bananakickers.
That’s why I will never enjoy this unholy sport.
Both. But also London Pride, Doom Bar and Theakstons Old Peculier et al. Draft McEwan’s Seventy Shilling if you’ve got it, please.
Stop it.
I have precisely none of these to hand.
Damn.
@51 opposablethumbs: And these go all so well with bananas, lobster or pizza with ketchup.
Daz,
Other forms of Rugby exist than Union? I do not allow myself to acknowledge such Abomination.
As for beer, everything is a step down from Fortyniner. Except perhaps Old Thumper. I will accept Boondoggle on a good day. But deviation from the Holy Ringwood Brewery can only be done with special permission from the Brewer.
Louis
I now have a new favorite comic. :-D
Sounds like a wonderful idea, except – ew, vinegar. :-( I can’t imagine I’d like the sherry either.
And lo, it fell off mine eyes like unto scales.
The beardless god was just so unexpected that I didn’t notice who he looks like!
Makes sense that God is his own wrath, really.
Thread won.
Eternal truths:
The ball is round, a game has 90 minutes.
I think it’s been established as a response to Ray Comfort that they’ll fit, though this is guaranteed to liquify the banana in the fundies’ case. But we’d have to get them to pull their heads out first…
Yeah, I think it was PZ who originally introduced me to Oglaf about a year ago. But as someone said above, not safe for anywhere. There’s still about 1 in 20 of them or so I don’t get. A personal failing of sorts, I suppose. Maybe I’m just not deviant enough yet.
What? You have to peel bananas? I’m not surprised I never got a taste for them :-)
@opposablethumbs
I’m with you on the Old Peculier. By far and away my favourite beer. Paul Theakston, who left the firm when it was bought by S&N, now runs The Black Sheep Brewery. If you like OP and haven’t tried their Riggwelter, you should.
But London Pride? Seriously? Fun fact though: London Pride is a vegetarian beer
Knew a guy who puts ketchup on his ice cream