Comments

  1. Nutmeg says

    Congrats on the anniversary, mildlymagnificent!

    Charly, I’m sorry that things have been hard for you. I have no advice to offer, but I expect that others will soon. This is a good place for the kinds of questions you have. One suggestion – you might want to re-post your comment in this thread. Some people will miss it if it’s at the end of the old thread.

  2. Owlmirror says

    All hail Tpyos. May His holy wrod never be spellchecked.

    Is it not the case that Tpyos is a goddess?

    Or am I thinking of Tyops?

  3. mildlymagnificent says

    charly

    Nothing seems to be causing any pleasure whatsoever and things capable of at least distraction are becomming scarcer every day. And it gets worse with age, contrary to my hopes and expectations, and to popular folk-wisdom. I am still able to wake up in the morning, go to work and do my part without anyone noticing anything, but it gets increasingly more difficult.


    anyway. I would also like to get some info about experience with antidepressives, since I know only two people who took them, and what they told me is not ecouraging at all. They both complained that it severely impaired their intelectual capabilities, and if it is so, then I am better of dead, since my brain is my source of income.

    I’d strongly recommend seeing the doc for a check up and possible meds. First and foremost, those meds might not be anti-depressants. There are several common conditions, notoriously hypothyroidism, that can cause depression. The remedy is to rebalance thyroxine/ other medical condition and the depression obediently vanishes.

    If you do try anti-depressants, it’s common for them to take s.e.v.e.r.a.l weeks to have any effect at all. And that might not be the effect you want. So. It’s also common to have to faff about trying different doses/ meds before you get yourself sorted out. But if you come up with a dose of a med that suits you, you’d be amazed how much better your life can be.

  4. blf says

    We turned up there yesterday to find … a mountainous chocolate cake with bigger shards sticking up like chocolate cliffs. And. the. whole. fam. damly.

    Either (a) That was a large cake; (b) The family is rather small; (c) You’re all eligible for membership in the Little People of America; and/or (d) They took turns standing in the cake.

    I would have preferred chocolate statues of the family sticking out of the cake. Solid chocolate statues. Solid dark chocolate statues. Life sized. I might even be generous, and after biting everyone’s heads off, allow them to eat themselves…

  5. says

    blf @662 in the previous thread:

    And the moronic cult does not own shares in Apple? Certainly possible, possibility even wise; but assuming they don’t, is it due to financial or theononsensical reasons? (I fully realize the finances of the cult are probably Über Top Secret…)

    I don’t know if LDS Inc. owns shares of Apple stock. Apple doesn’t seem to fit in well with their usual business decisions. Here is a partial list of businesses owned by the mormon church, LDS Inc. This list is a few years old. I will look for a more current list.

    Deseret Management Corporation
    Beneficial Financial Group
    Bonneville International
    Bonneville Communications
    Bonneville Interactive Services
    Bonneville Satellite
    35 Radio Stations
    1 Television Station (KSL)
    The Berberian Nut Company
    http://www.manta.com/c/mtgq3zp/berberian-nut-company-llc
    Deseret Book
    Excel Entertainment
    Deseret Morning News
    Hawaii Reserves – http://www.hawaiireserves.com/
    Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC) – http://www.polynesia.com/ and http://www.polynesia.co.jp/
    La’ie Shopping Center (in Hawaii)
    La’ie Park
    La’ie Cemetary
    Hukilau Beach Park
    La’ie Water Company
    La’ie Treatment Works (sewer)
    Mstar.net
    Temple Square Hospitality
    Weddings (JSMB and Lion House)
    The Inn at Temple Square
    Lion House Pantry
    The Roof Restaurant
    The Garden Restaurant
    Passages Restaurant
    Zions Securities Corporation

    Farm Management Corporation (commericial farms and agricultural properties)
    Deseret Land and Livestock
    200,000 acres of land in Rich, Morgan and Weber counties (Utah)
    Sun Ranch (Martin’s Cove)
    Deseret Ranches of Florida (Orlando) (largest ranch in Florida)
    Deseret Farms of California
    Rolling Hills (Idaho)
    West Hills Orchards (Elberta, Utah)
    Cactus Lane Ranch (Arizona)
    (more)

    Corporation of the Presiding Bishop of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (CPB)
    Corporation of the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
    Deseret Trust Company
    LDS Family Services
    Property Reserves Inc. (PRI)
    Ensign Peak Advisors

    Deseret Mutual Benefit Administrators (DMBA)

    Brigham Young University (BYU)
    BYU – Idaho
    BYU – Hawaii
    LDS Business College

    Nebraska-Farmland Reserve Inc-Rex Ranch

    Australia-Agreserves Australia Limited-Kooba Station
    Deseret Ranches of Alberta Raymond,AB Canada
    Agreserves LTD Cambridge,England
    AgroReservas, S.C. Los Mochis, Mexico
    Deseret Farms of CA Woodland, CA
    Deseret Farms of CA Modesto,CA
    Deseret Farms of CA Chico,CA
    South valley Farms Bakersfield, CA
    Deseret Security Farms Blythe, CA
    Naples Farms Naples,FL
    Deseret Cattle & Citrus ST. Cloud, FL
    Deseret Farms of Ruskin Ruskin, FL
    Kewela Plantation O’ahu,HI

    Rex Ranch Ashby, NE
    Riverbend Farms ST.Paul, OR
    Deseret Land & Livestock Woodruff, UT
    Wasatch-Dixie Farms Elberta, UT
    Agreserves Cottle CO.,TX
    Agrinorthwest kennewick,WA
    Handcart Ranch Alcova, WY
    Deseret Ranches of Wyoming Cody,WY

    And as was mentioned in previous posts, the City Creek mall/condo development in Salt Lake City.
    See: http://www.kutv.com/news/features/local/stories/vid_797.shtml

  6. says

    If one is going to have chocolate statues of one’s family my choice would be dark chocolate with a truffle filling that includes whiskey, coffee and toffee.

    I do like the idea of the “mountainous cake.”

  7. thunk: For sale, 13/- says

    ugh. I got back to school, and started sobbing like whoa… because I realised it’s hard to find my friends, and I’ll be just as lonely as I was last year. it feels horrible that I’ll be stuck in the same old patterns of trudging through schoolwork and doing nothing to meet my friends because I’ll be too tired and/or depressed.

    Summer’s not a way out now that it’s over and my family doesn’t appreciate me for mebbe being trans*

    I need to somehow be happy in my current situation. find a hobby and *solve* my problems instead of wait for them to fix themselves.

  8. nightshadequeen says

    *hugs* if wanted, Charly,

    Seconding the recommendation to talk to a doctor; lots of things look like depression.

    I have a suspicion, that I might have some traits of high functional autism/Aspergers syndrome. I certainly am clumsy in most, if not all, social situations, I prefer to work alone to work in team etc.

    Definitely something you should bring up with a shrink. Regardless if you’re “actually” on the spectrum, coping mechanisms directed for those on the spectrum will probably be helpful.

    And it’s not too late. It’s never too late.

    And I mean severe, as in I-do-not-want-to-breathe-anymore severe for the last few months.

    *hugs* It can get better.

    Might be a good idea to keep the suicide hotline for your country in your phone. Generally, they won’t sic the police after you unless they feel like you’re going to kill yourself right now.

    I would also like to get some info about experience with antidepressives, since I know only two people who took them, and what they told me is not ecouraging at all. They both complained that it severely impaired their intelectual capabilities, and if it is so, then I am better of dead, since my brain is my source of income.

    afaik, that’s not a common side effect of antidepressants. Also: there’s many many many different categories of antidepressants, each with a different category of side effects. Hell, you might find it easier to think without the cloud of depression in the way.

    I found this site fairly useful wrt to meds.

  9. blf says

    I really do hate to intrude into ongoing and seemingly cheerfull conversation so abrubtly and unvelcome, but I have a rather pressing issue in my mind…

    Charly, No problem! Don’t worry about intruding or being “unwelcome” — you are not intruding, and you most certainly are welcome.

    Welcome!

    As I suspect you are aware, Internet diagnosis of possible medical or mental conditions are to be considered with considerable caution. And, in general, not offered. Due to those well-founded considerations, I suspect the advice will mostly be of two, compatible, forms: (1) See a specialist (whether medical or mental is not-clear to me);
    And (2) Depression-like symptoms have several possible causes, so it’s unwise to assume a diagnosis (like “autistic traits”).
    How easy it will be to track down the probable cause is, of course, not-known to anyone.

  10. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    thunk:

    I’m so sorry. *hugs* Any hobbies you’ve got a knack for? Interests?

    Charly:

    I wish you the best.

    mildlymagnificent:

    That’s so fun :) I’m glad you got a fun party. Happy Anniversary!

  11. cicely says

    Thinking of Ogvorbis. Hope he is ok.
    ****
    Thinking of rq. Miss her.
    ****

    Both these things, +1.

    It’s a loan shark. I just got it.

    :)

    Happy anniversary, mildlymagnificent!

    Charly, I’m so sorry that I have no advice for you…only well-wishes.


    Stitch!!!

    *hugs* for thunk.

  12. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Wow…this is a really heavy-handed “magic=drugs” allegory.

  13. nightshadequeen says

    Oh,

    If you do try anti-depressants, it’s common for them to take s.e.v.e.r.a.l weeks to have any effect at all.

    And having them take weeks to start working is not a bad sign.

    [It can actually be a good one – one of the reasons I got diagnosed as bipolar and not as depressed is that the lowest possible dose of an antidepressant hit in about a day, and then caused me to stop a) needing and b) being able to sleep.**

    Erm.

    And if you want a list of “medications that are fairly likely to make you dumber”, well, most of the bipolar meds are on that list. *sigh*

    **To be fair, some depressed people respond quickly and well to antidepressants. The not-sleeping-for-four-days bit was a tad bit more…problematic.]

  14. blf says

    I don’t know if LDS Inc. owns shares of Apple stock. Apple doesn’t seem to fit in well with their usual business decisions. … I will look for a more current list.

    I concur Apple — and indeed, most(? all?) “tech” companies — don’t appear on direct-share-ownership lists. I suspect indirect ownership, e.g., via various sorts of funds and other so-called “investment vehicles”. For example, from Businessweek (18-July-2012):

    The church also makes money through various investment vehicles, including a trust company and an investment fund called Ensign Peak Advisors, which employs managers who specialize in international equities, cash management, fixed income, quantitative investment, and emerging markets, according to profiles on LinkedIn…

    The cult does own a great deal of land / buildings, and it’s certainly possible they get rental(?) fees for mobile towers (antenna / base stations) and other infrastructure.

  15. says

    Thinking of Ogvorbis. Hope he is ok.
    ****
    Thinking of rq. Miss her.
    ****

    Likewise

    Charly
    Best wishes, and I’m adding my voice to the recommendation of seeking a medical professional. Antidepressants have widely varying side effects, depending on the drug and the taker, and it may well be that you will find one that works for you.
    *hugs* if desired

    thunk
    *hugs*

  16. Crudely Wrott says

    From an OT comment on today’s Dispatches comes this (startling?) interesting bit of news. The gist is in the linky:
    http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/historic-ruling-judge-orders-anti-gay-scott-lively-stand-trial-crimes-against-humanity150813

    This could be the start of something way more than interesting . . .

    Charly and thunk, please take care and know that you are not alone. Check your USB ports for hot chocolate and a welcoming shoulder.

    birgerjohonnsan, last thread. Thanks for the HHGG version. Large grin here.=)

    Wrt the story linked above, an excerpt:

    Michael Ponsor, the US District Judge in Springfield, Massachusetts, said: ‘Widespread, systematic persecution of LGBTI people constitutes a crime against humanity that unquestionably violates international norms.’

    ‘The history and current existence of discrimination against LGBTI people is precisely what qualifies them as a distinct targeted group eligible for protection under international law.

    ‘The fact that a group continues to be vulnerable to widespread, systematic persecution in some parts of the world simply cannot shield one who commits a crime against humanity from liability.’

    The lawsuit states Lively collaborated with key Ugandan government officials and religious leaders that allegedly resulted in the introduction of the ‘Kill The Gays’ bill.

    The founder of Abiding Truth Ministries, Lively has made a career of stirring up anti-gay feelings in the USA and across the world.

    He co-authored The Pink Swastika, which suggests ‘homosexuals were the truth inventors of Nazism and the guiding force behind many Nazi atrocities’ and the rainbow flag is a symbol of the ‘end times’.

    In 2007, Lively also toured 50 cities in Russia where he is accused of recommending a ban on ‘gay propaganda’.

    A Ugandan LGBTI group has brought the suit under US law which allows them to bring suit against US citizens in cases that violate international law.

    This is most excellent news. I hope it starts a trend.

    Now to enter patient mode and watch to see how this case evolves. (‘Ware technicalities!) Anyone care to join me in a crossed fingers salute to the plaintiffs as well as Judge Posnor?

  17. Crudely Wrott says

    Sometimes I just have to get involved and try to fix something.

    While moving a trash can today I inadvertently injured a cicada nymph. It had emerged from the ground directly under the can and, from the evidence, was attempting to dig its way out. I come along, shove the can to one side and inflicted a crushing injury.

    Brought it inside, rinsed off stuck on soil. Inspecting it under a hand lens discovered a dented carapace and some oozing fluid. The fluid was coming from a crack that I might have caused but then realized it was exactly where a cicada nymph normally splits open.

    Following the split fore and aft and comparing it to two cast-of nymph shells that I just happened to have on hand (imagine that!), I noticed that it had veered off course behind the head. I used an X-Acto knife to open the carapace along its meridian following the examples of my two specimens.

    The nymph is alive and now rests on a piece of oak bark propped up in the shadows under my work table. I’ll be watching it carefully as night comes on.

    If an adult manages to successfully emerge I’ll be happy-dancing like mad.

  18. says

    blf @15:

    The cult does own a great deal of land / buildings, and it’s certainly possible they get rental(?) fees for mobile towers (antenna / base stations) and other infrastructure.

    Yes, the cult does earn a lot of cash from rental and leasing arrangements. Moreover, as I understand it, “passive income” such as rental and leasing fees are not taxed when the fees accrue to a non-profit organization.

    LDS Inc. is a for-profit business masquerading as a religion, and definitely masquerading as a charitable organization. Paltry charitable contributions by mormons as discussed in the previous thread.

    Yes, you are quite right about the investment vehicles. Ensign Peak Advisors and similar investment vehicles would be a good place to look for Apple shares owned by LDS Inc.

    Re comment #17: I would love to see Lively finally get what’s coming to him!

  19. blf says

    I’d never heard of this Stitch character (this thread’s incarnation’s mascot). According to The Pffffft! of All Knowledge:

    Originally created to cause chaos across the galaxy, he [Stitch] is marked by his mischievous behavior…

    And (the quoting is borked in the Pffft!, the quoting below is my own best guess as to what was intended):

    “…he would be irresistibly drawn to large cities to back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone’s left shoe.”

    And:

    He is also fluent in playing the ukulele and driving any sort of vehicle, which can be as simple as riding a tricycle or as complex as piloting inter-galactic spaceships.

    Sounds like he is trying to muscle in on some of the mildly deranged penguin’s ecological niches. Not all the niches. And he apparently allowed himself to be trained as “good”, which I guess means not playing the ukulele.

    No mention of cheese. So I suspect the peas are responsible.

  20. says

    You ever have something that bugs you but you cannot quite figure it out?
    PZs post about his ‘gay date’ bugs me like that. I read the post, but have been at work all day, so have not had a chance to digest it. I’m hoping it is just some sort of reflexive, kneejerk, irrational dislike, rather than something more substantive. We will see.

    ****
    Are we talking about Philosophers or Atheists here??

    Almost instantly, I was deluged with stories of sexual harassment. There was the job candidate who said she was sexually assaulted at the annual APA meeting where job interviews take place. The undergraduate whose professor joked publicly about dripping hot wax on her nipples. The persistent failure to understand that a woman of color might actually be a philosophy professor. The lesbian who found herself suddenly invited, after she came out, to join in the sexualizing of her female colleagues. Most of all, the repeated failure to actually respond to and deal with harassment: the serial harassers who suffer no loss to their career, despite widespread knowledge of their behavior and even of their sometimes vicious retaliation against complainants. The complicity of their institutions and their colleagues, who in many cases join in the retaliation as they close ranks. Many, many stories came in of women who had left philosophy due to harassment. I was shocked by these stories, and struggled to schedule them to appear, four a day, two weeks in advance. It kept up this way for months. There is still a steady stream of stories of this sort.

    More at the link.

    http://www.salon.com/2013/08/15/philosophy_has_a_sexual_harassment_problem/

  21. Rob Grigjanis says

    Charly, have you considered an exercise program? It may sound trite, but it kept me together through a horrendous time in my life, and other less horrendous, but stressful ones. No idea why it works for me (Endorphins? Self esteem? Don’t care.), but it does.

  22. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Tony:

    I have a weird, indistinct feeling about it, too.

  23. thunk: For sale, 13/- says

    hobbies? Coin collecting is one. knitting is probably not.

    I want to engage in some writing-type stuff, I would just need some time to do so.

    but I feel a bit better after talking to friends.

  24. nightshadequeen says

    Portia, Tony:

    I felt a vague flavor of heteronormality, in line of “I didn’t expect to get hit on because I’m not a woman.”

    YMMV

    Charly, have you considered an exercise program? It may sound trite, but it kept me together through a horrendous time in my life, and other less horrendous, but stressful ones. No idea why it works for me (Endorphins? Self esteem? Don’t care.), but it does.

    Just a meta note: While exercise is definitely excellent, it’s not a foolproof way to keep mental illness at bay.

    I used to run ~ 5 mi/day. Didn’t keep teh suicidal idealization away.

  25. says

    Portia:
    Yeah, they admitted after S6 that the allegory did not quite work and that it was too heavy handed. One big reason for it not working perfectly= Willows magic use prior to S6 was of great benefit to herself and those around her. Contrast that with *some* types of drugs-such as cocaine or meth-which produce intense physiological changes that are often seen as fun (though only for the individual using), but have a long term bad effect on the body.

    Btw, I am going to look up the specific episode, but I have another trigger warning for you for different reasons.

  26. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    I felt a vague flavor of heteronormality, in line of “I didn’t expect to get hit on because I’m not a woman.”

    Yeah, that. As well as some “I was so stupid not to know he wasn’t just wanting to talk to me as a person, because that only happens to women, being objectified and whatnot. And if women assume it’s friendly conversation, not prelude to sexy times, it’s leading a poor guy on.” Ooooobviously, and I shouldn’t even need to disclaim this, that’s not what PZ meant, but, yeah, the undercurrent is there, imo.

  27. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Thanks, Tony. I really appreciate the warnings.

    Sidenote: I need Buffy’s hat at the beginning of S6E14.

  28. carlie says

    Charly – there is never too late an age. One resource you might want to check out is called Wrong planet; it’s a web community for pople with varying degrees of autism.

    There is also The autism channel. I haven’t heard a lot about it other than one or two quick news stories, but it seems to have potential. It has programs by and for people with autism, and information on diagnosis and stuff.

    Lynne Soraya both writes and collects articles about living with autism on her site.

    I don’t know anything about antidepressants, but the people I know who have gone on them love them, if those anecdotes pile up with your anecdotes.

    How sweet, mildlymagnificent! Congratulations. :)

    I’m in a sappy mood due to seeing happy people today. We were at a park in a tiny town, and
    there was a group of about 8 young people there having a great time. They looked somewhere in college age – if older than that, not by much. They asked me to take a group picture because “they were kind of having a reunion”. So adorable just to see fresh-faced people at that age where you’re ready to take the world by storm and loving each other.

  29. carlie says

    Tony – it wasn’t the post so much, but as I read over the comments… something seems a bit off. I know it’s just people relating “here are instances where someone I wasn’t interested in hit on me, and since we weren’t communicating well it messed up what could have been a good platonic relationship”, but it isn’t coming off quite that way when they’re all put together.

  30. says

    No idea why it works for me (Endorphins? Self esteem? Don’t care.), but it does.

    Endorphins are a big part, but there’s some other hormones involved I forget right now.

    Just a meta note: While exercise is definitely excellent, it’s not a foolproof way to keep mental illness at bay.

    Also emphasizing this. It often helps some, but more is commonly needed.

  31. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Tony:

    Yes, but it wasn’t a break-out hit ;)

    I’m on ep 15 of this season, I think.

  32. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Trigger warning for rape;







    I was really, really, glad when Katrina said “That’s rape!” when Warren was going to…well, rape her. Unequivocal is great.

  33. believerskeptic says

    Portia— Season Six is ultimately brilliant but getting through it can be a slog. It needed editing in my opinion.

  34. says

    I am glad it is not just me. I was not going to say anything initially bc I thought my mind was being weird and since I have not given it reasoned thought, I figured it would be wrong to do. But I am not criticizing PZ so much as trying to figure out what my brain is telling me. I will go reread it later and the comments too. Glad I am not alone in feeling that.

  35. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Tony:

    You’re smart and insightful. No need to second guess yourself so much. Especially when questioning the kyriarchy :)

  36. nightshadequeen says

    Thunk,

    You have any interest in LARPing? While it’s not the same as writing, there’s a lot of similarities [having to develop characters and plotlines, for example].

  37. blf says

    FWIW, I haven’t gotten any weird vibes from that “gay date” thread, albeit I do notice that, to-date, the stories seem to mostly be about men misreading the signals from other men. Shrugs… Perhaps why I’m not bothered by that thread is a lack of personal experience: I have no recollections of me being on either side of such a mis-signaling encounter with anyone of any sexual orientation, excluding an encounter or three with obviously drunk people.

  38. says

    Season Six, at one time, was the season I liked least. But after rewatching it, understanding the themes, and dealing with and/or learning about the themes first hand, I came to like it a lot.
    For me, I rank the seasons-
    3
    2
    6
    5
    7
    4
    1

    Try as I might, Season 1 just does not work for me, even allowing for it being a new show. My preference for Seasons 2 and 3 stems largely from how well the ‘high school is hell’ metaphor works. It is not as heavy handed as the first season and thematically, things got darker.

  39. MissEla says

    OK, I have an odd question. Has anyone ever soaked coffee beans in whiskey *for the purpose of flavoring the beans*? My dad really loves the Jack Daniels coffees that you used to be able to pick up around Xmas time. Sadly, the place that had the license to make those coffees burned to the ground and they never went back into business. I was thinking about making some liquor-flavored beans for Dad for Xmas, but I’m not sure if it the flavor would hold up. I would also assume that Bailey’s/cream-type liquors would be unusable, as they would probably go rancid or mold. Any advice?

  40. Crudely Wrott says

    Portia, thanks for the new word!

    kyriarchy: (“rule by a lord”; from the Greek kurios “Lord” and archon “ruler” or arche “dominion, sovereignty”) is a social system or set of connecting social systems built around domination, oppression, and submission. The word itself is a neologism or new term coined by Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza to describe interconnected, interacting, and self-extending systems of domination and submission, in which a single individual might be oppressed in some relationships and privileged in others.[1] It is an intersectional extension of the idea of patriarchy[1] beyond gender. Kyriarchy encompasses sexism, racism, economic injustice, and other forms of dominating hierarchy in which the subordination of one person or group to another is internalized and institutionalized.[2]. It is closely related to the concept of dominating hierarchy within social ecology and anarchist theory

  41. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    No problem, Crudely :) It really is the word that was needed, isn’t it?

  42. believerskeptic says

    I wish that Season Six had stayed with the more interesting “abuse of power” theme it began with, rather than the far sillier “magic=drugs” theme.

  43. Crudely Wrott says

    Forgot to cite source. It’s answers.com, for which I have a handy FF add-on.

    More on kyriarchy there.

    btw, I recommend the add-on. Highlight word or term, right click, select “Look up ( ) on Answers.com” from the familiar menu. Opens in new window. I find it very useful and use it most every day.

  44. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    I thought of another problem with the gay date post. The part where

    “oh, yes, that’s why this is so familiar, only last time I was sitting in his chair, and the person in my chair was a young lady.”

    Ew. The one making the advances is always in the dudely role, and the one receiving them (and thus doing the “leading on” is automatically in the woman’s chair? Ew. Ew. Ew. Subtly plays into “Which one is the man, and which one is the woman?” too, I think.

  45. Crudely Wrott says

    It really is the word that was needed, isn’t it?

    The very one, Portia. Apt. Most apt.

  46. davehooke says

    Tried various meds for depression and anxiety that didn’t really work. Venlafaxine( Effexor) does, apparently spectacularly, with minimal side effects. So if you are patient and prepared to try different meds, and not just settle for feeling slightly less miserable, you might find something that really works for you.

    The only sign that my mental faculties are compromised is that, sometimes, some people on the internet are so disgusted by my stupidness they respond to any points I make by pointing out how stupid I am.

    The passing of time, as well as managing to care a little less about what people think and expect from me, have also made a huge difference to my happiness.

  47. blf says

    “oh, yes, that’s why this is so familiar, only last time I was sitting in his chair, and the person in my chair was a young lady.”

    Ew. The one making the advances is always in the dudely role, and the one receiving them … is automatically in the woman’s chair?

    The “last time” (which I take to mean the “previous time”)  “is always” (which I take to mean “every time”).

  48. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    That’s fair, blf, I wasn’t very specific. It’s just…it’s an old trope that he seemed to trot out there, and the inference I drew is that man=pursuer, woman=pursued.

  49. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    and the inference I drew is that man=pursuer, woman=pursued.

    Gee, no “I came, I saw, she conquered”….

  50. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    I don’t get what you mean, Nerd. But then I’m losing my cognitive processes to a headache right now.

  51. blf says

    Has anyone ever soaked coffee beans in whiskey for the purpose of flavoring the beans?

    Whilst I can (vaguely) recall having something like that once — albeit I think it was either bourbon or cognac, not whisky or whiskey — No,I’ve no clew. And an admittedly quick search failed to find any recipes / instructions, although I did find stuff for coffee-flavoured bourbon, and what might have been a vanilla+bourbon(+chocolate?) coating for beans, and for coffee flavoured with bourbon or other liquors.

    The usually informative On Food & Cooking (Harold McGee) has nothing on flavoured coffee beans.

  52. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    I think I see how I misread it. He meant “last time [I had this kind of misunderstanding about mutuality of desire]” not “last time I was flirting/hitting on someone”. I rescind some of my swickiness about the post.

  53. Rob Grigjanis says

    Crudely Wrott @45: Ex-Christians of certain denominations may understand the meaning from exposure to the liturgy Kyrie eleison (Lord, have mercy). Certainly Catholics and Anglicans.

  54. thunk: For sale, 13/- says

    nightshadequeen:

    Heard of it, never tried.

    Any advice for making dorm rooms feel like home?

    this would help would being homesick, probably…

  55. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    thunk:

    Did you say that knitting is something you’re interested in, but not into yet? That can be a way to make a dorm room feel like home. Knitting an afghan would be time consuming but might be comforting :)

    I hated dorm living, and took refuge at my then-boyfriend’s house, so I never quite figured out how to make it bearable. Sorry : /

  56. The Mellow Monkey says

    Squee! I have to show off this amazing custom rat mug my cousin made for me.

    She had been talking about doing heraldic designs on her salt fired ceramics and I suggested a rat rampant. And she made it. This is going to be one of my favorite possessions ever. ♥

  57. nightshadequeen says

    thunk:

    Yeah, sorry, I doubt I can be much help on that front, given my strategy was “move into a dorm that used to be apartments and thus had things like kitchens”.

    That and owning a memory foam mattress.

  58. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    MM:

    Fun! :D How neat to have a piece of art made just for you.

  59. nightshadequeen says

    Then again, I can’t claim to be doing well on the “not having mental breakdowns” front, either, given the disaster train of last semester….

  60. The Mellow Monkey says

    Portia, yes! I’m unspeakably excited when people turn their artistic talents to making something for me, especially if it’s based on a vague description I gave and yet magically turns out far more awesome than in my head.

    That’s worth so much more to me than any other expenditure of energy they could have made.

  61. Crudely Wrott says

    From Dalillama’s link re: Jack Daniel’s Gourmet Tennessee Whiskey Flavored Coffee:

    Brewing Instructions: To capture the taste of this unique coffee, start with fresh, cold water and a clean coffee maker. Use one level tablespoon per 6 oz cup of water. Serve coffee freshly brewed. To further enhance the taste, add a splash of Jack Daniel’s.

    Yeah. That oughtta make it taste like Jack!
    ——–
    Rob Grigjanis:

    the liturgy Kyrie eleison (Lord, have mercy)

    Long time and several changes ago I used to play a Judi Sill album that had a song titled “Kyrie Eleison”. I still recall the song as beautiful and compelling.
    Geeze. Memories, eh?

  62. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Yeah. That oughtta make it taste like Jack!

    Ha! No kidding.

    Mellow Monkey:

    That’s why I love arting for people who really appreciate the special kind of energy it takes :)

  63. blf says

    Dalillama, The impression I got is MissEla is after a liquor equivalent of chocolate-covered coffee beans (albeit without an actual coating per se). Such beans are obviously not-suitable for brewing, and are intended for eating instead. Any are quite yummy!

    I have a (vague) recollection of once eating such beans myself, albeit I seem to recall they were either bourbon- or cognac-flavoured.

    However, upon reading the question, I see you could be correct. Perhaps brewable beans is meant. (I still have no idea how to make them.) Presumably as an alternative to adding the liquor to the brewed coffee. However, such beans are edible, so our differing interpretations may actually converge…

  64. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Charly: best resource I’ve seen on the actual autistic experience is, oddly enough, here.

    However,

    “my need to pair-bond with a woman conflicts with the apparent collective decision of all womankind to deny me that opportunity”, is

    …not a helpful framing, to put it bluntly.

    I don’t know whether diagnosis is likely to be helpful; most service providers and funding sources are focused on children and even relatively “aware” people generally seem to be considerably less sympathetic, understanding, or willing to cut slack to autism-related social difficulties than to the difficulties experienced by people with pretty much any other psychiatric condition except personality disorders other than Borderline or the complaints of “normal” people. I believe there are support groups and life-skill/soft-skill coaching organizations for adults, but I don’t know much about them.

    I personally had a lackluster but not disastrous experience with antidepressants, mainly because I don’t actually have depressive disorder, insofar as my depression-like feelings, when present, directly and clearly reflect ASD-enhanced difficulty coping with abnormal life stresses and severe bullying and emotional abuse and/or insufficient sleep. I do know a lot of people they’ve helped, and strongly encourage you to seek a proper and thorough screening for depression and appropriate treatment.

  65. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    My (not-jealous, very laid-back, unpossessive) BFF thinks his girlfriend might be cheating on him. I haz a sad.

  66. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    From an OT comment on today’s Dispatches comes this (startling?) interesting bit of news. The gist is in the linky:
    http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/historic-ruling-judge-orders-anti-gay-scott-lively-stand-trial-crimes-against-humanity150813

    Now to enter patient mode and watch to see how this case evolves. (‘Ware technicalities!) Anyone care to join me in a crossed fingers salute to the plaintiffs as well as Judge Posnor?

    A lawsuit is pretty weak tea, but there’s already a relevant precedent.

  67. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Gah. Meant to add: I suppose in a week Ed will have a post about how this is a violation of Lively’s rights and should be dismissed because horrible people should never have to face any consequences for what they do.

  68. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Yeah, that. As well as some “I was so stupid not to know he wasn’t just wanting to talk to me as a person, because that only happens to women, being objectified and whatnot. And if women assume it’s friendly conversation, not prelude to sexy times, it’s leading a poor guy on.” Ooooobviously, and I shouldn’t even need to disclaim this, that’s not what PZ meant, but, yeah, the undercurrent is there, imo.

    It happened a while ago. He certainly could have been feeling exactly that at the time, realized it in hindsight, and have failed to communicate that he’d subsequently come to understand the problematic aspects of that reaction.

  69. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    It happened a while ago. He certainly could have been feeling exactly that at the time, realized it in hindsight, and have failed to communicate that he’d subsequently come to understand the problematic aspects of that reaction.

    That’s true. Which is why I said I don’t think he intended the ugly subtext. Doesn’t mean it’s not there. When he wrote it. Today.

  70. carlie says

    Ooo, dorm decorating!

    In no order of importance:

    Ask the RA about what the repainting policy is. When I was in a dorm we were allowed to repaint, choosing from several varieties of white. We just had to supply a brush and roller. That didn’t change the look of the room that much, but it brightened it up and made us feel a little more “ownership” of the room.

    Try to bring one or two cozy items from home, but not really much more than that. Trying too much to make it like home is worse, because then it looks like a sad almost-replica that doesn’t quite cut it. You want your room to be new and exciting for your new life, with just a touch of snuggle comfort. That can be a plushie thing, a poster, a pillowcase, just something familiar.

    Lamps, lamps, lamps. Most dorm rooms I’ve seen at best have a fluorescent light in the ceiling. Those SUCK. They will suck all of the life out of you. Get lamps. Lamps are expensive to go buy at retail, but go to a thrift store where they’re cheap. They can be kind of ugly; the point is just to get some warm soft light in there with shadows and stuff. Ideally, maybe you can rope your mom into helping by looking for lamps at garage sales for you (you don’t have time for that). Depending on the size of the room, you should get a few. Even the smallest most cramped ones ought to have two, one for each roommate or, if you’re in a single, one for each end of the room. A nice warm light is awesome.

    Windows: Probably one window? Curtains can cost a lot, but clearance fabric from a fabric or big-box store can be made into curtains easily with a measuring tape, a pair of scissors, an iron, and strip adhesive (heat bond). That’s the part where you want cheap fabric, but fabric you like, because in most dorm rooms the curtains are the biggest splash of color there is (next to bedspreads).

    If you can, get an area rug for the floor that is soft and comfy to lie on. It doesn’t have to be very big, just big enough to curl up on. A floor pillow or two would be ah-maz-ing, but those can be pricey and rooms tend to be small so they can get in the way.

    The main idea is to create a space that feels warm and inviting and cozy. That doesn’t mean dark or muted colors, just pleasing and soft textures. That way you feel like it’s a retreat to get to at the end of the day, and hopefully it’s a place that feels good to other people too – the more comfy a room is, the more likely it ends up being the room people congregate in for chatting and friendship stuff.

  71. MissEla says

    blf: Yes, indeed, they are planned for brewing. I *finally* found *one* source that mentioned soaking beans in liquor before brewing, and it sounds like it works. I figured it would be fun to buy a couple of pounds of beans and flavor them 4-5 different ways. :)

    Dalillama: From everything I can find online, it looks like the coffee on the website you linked is just old, unsold stock. No one else has it–not even Amazon–and the company went out of business in 2011. :( (Doesn’t matter much to *me*–I don’t drink coffee. :P)

  72. says

    From Azkyroth’s link @74:

    Michael Ponsor, the US District Judge in Springfield, Massachusetts, said: ‘Widespread, systematic persecution of LGBTI people constitutes a crime against humanity that unquestionably violates international norms.’

    ‘The history and current existence of discrimination against LGBTI people is precisely what qualifies them as a distinct targeted group eligible for protection under international law.

    ‘The fact that a group continues to be vulnerable to widespread, systematic persecution in some parts of the world simply cannot shield one who commits a crime against humanity from liability.’

    The lawsuit states Lively collaborated with key Ugandan government officials and religious leaders that allegedly resulted in the introduction of the ‘Kill The Gays’ bill.

    The founder of Abiding Truth Ministries, Lively has made a career of stirring up anti-gay feelings in the USA and across the world.

    He co-authored The Pink Swastika, which suggests ‘homosexuals were the truth inventors of Nazism and the guiding force behind many Nazi atrocities’ and the rainbow flag is a symbol of the ‘end times’.

    In 2007, Lively also toured 50 cities in Russia where he is accused of recommending a ban on ‘gay propaganda’.

  73. MissEla says

    Cripes, way too many emoticons in that short post. Trying to break myself of that…

  74. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    I don’t get what you mean, Nerd. But then I’m losing my cognitive processes to a headache right now.

    Take off on a famous quote by Julius Caesar: veni, vidi, vici“. “I came, I saw, I conquered.”

  75. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Oh, sorry, Nerd, I got the veni, vidi, vici reference, just not your variation on it. Or what you meant by it, rather. You mean the absence of womanly dominance?

  76. Crudely Wrott says

    Azkyroth, your points are well taken.

    Hence my suggestion for a “crossed finger salute”

    Let’s hope that Ed posts a more, er, favorable report one day.

  77. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    You mean the absence of womanly dominance?

    Gee, no woman has ever decided she is going to marry a certain man, and worked at it? The quote I gave is from Heinlein’s Time Enough for Love, but does indicate that sometimes women work to make sure decision of a man getting married is to her. *Sneaks a peek at the Redhead*

  78. blf says

    Dorm room decorating: When I was at University, I (now realize) I got lucky because the dorm I joined was in an old building where most of the rooms had built-in varnished medium-darkish woodwork (read: partially wooden walls), i.e., shelving, closets / cabinets, etc., except for the outside walls which were a weirdish ceramic brick. Think traditional-ish gentleman’s study. Upshot was the natural appearance was rather cool (in several senses) & groovy, so painting, etc., would actually be somewhat counter-productive.

    And no florescent lights.

    Main problem, as I now recall, were the chairs: Hard and wooden. Bean-bag chairs were popular (relatively cheap, still fairly new and mod-ish (at the time), and comfortable). Some people also rigged up hammocks.

    I completely agree with the suggestion to avoid making it too much “like home”; And also with the suggestions about lighting.

  79. blf says

    s/I (now realize) I/I (now realize I)/

    (Actually, if I was really using ed I’d be more likely to use “s/) I/I) /” which is perhaps a bit too cryptic — signed, pedantic old-school Unix™ muncher…)

  80. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Unix™ muncher…

    Does the Unix match the drapes? *hides*

  81. believerskeptic says

    @davehooke:

    I too am on venlafaxine. It is by far and away the most effective anti-depressant I’ve ever been on, and I’ve done the rounds. All I can say, though, is DO NOT ever forget your meds, leave them in a hotel room, or anything, because it is the worst and quickest-onsetting withdrawal I’ve ever experienced in my life. Miss one day, and you feel like your head is in your armpit and up is now sidewise. It makes the “zoloft zaps” feel like runner’s high by comparison.

    And the thing that cracks me up is that pharma considers these drugs technically “non-addictive.” I suppose technically, they are, but Effexor withdrawal is nothing to fart around with, at all.

  82. says

    Charly:
    I wish I had some advice for you.
    Sadly I do not.
    But I see a fellow human in pain and sorrow and my heart aches.
    You have my greatest sympathies, and I well and truly hope things turn around for you soon.

    And please, please, never, ever think you are intruding here.
    Any. Time.
    You need to chat, we are open 24/7/365.
    You will be shown no judgement.

    You will be shown limitless compassion. You deserve no less.

  83. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Azkyroth:

    I’m learning a lot from that tvtropes link. Thanks.

  84. blf says

    Does the Unix match the drapes?

    Only if they are made of line printer listings…

    And it is pretty good at brewing coffee on the Internet. (Or more accurately, watching the coffee machine…) (Actually, the Trojan Room Coffee Pot’s frame-grabber / server never ran Unix (as far as I know), but why spoil a giggle with a fact?)

  85. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Alexandra:

    Squeeeeeeee. :)

  86. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    DARKBABY PULLED HERSELF UP TO STAND TODAY.

    Ah, the lull before the bipedalism storm…

  87. blf says

    I *finally* found *one* source that mentioned soaking beans in liquor before brewing, and it sounds like it works.

    I’ve found two. Both seem plausible, albeit neither is specifically for whisk(e)y-soaked beans:

      ● Homemade Gifts: Orange Liqueur-Soaked Cinnamon Coffee.
      ● Is there a way to infuse roasted coffee beans with different flavors?.

    The later explains how it is done in coffee shops, and includes references to obtaining the magic ingredients (including “Whiskey Bean Flavor Oil” intended for flavouring coffee beans (that’s what the “Bean” in the name refers to)).

  88. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Photos! or it did not happen ;)

    Somewhere we have the video of the Redhead’s niece’s first steps. She chased mommy around the circular floor plan for 20 minutes or so, with several “bounces” on her butt, but always back on her feet. Once a biped, determined to stay that way.

  89. blf says

    I also found a recipe for “Espresso Soup”, and wondering what in the fecking hades that was, visited the site. Seems I misread, it was for “Espresso Soap“.

  90. blf says

    DARKBABY PULLED HERSELF UP TO STAND TODAY.

    Today, Gravity! Tomorrow, the Universe!!!1! BAHAHAHAAAAWWWWW!

  91. says

    DARKBABY PULLED HERSELF UP TO STAND TODAY.

    Yay! She’s just taken her first step into a larger world!

    *proffers hugs for anyone in need of same or just wanting one*

    *Dashes away because it’s time for Red Green*

  92. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Tony:

    You have email.

  93. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    I would like to multiple my squee to the nth degree. :D

  94. Crudely Wrott says

    DARKBABY PULLED HERSELF UP TO STAND TODAY.

    Double the guard! Two Daleks on every door!

    *Innit a wunnerful day*

  95. says

    Crudely:
    It is! We had fun all day long just watching her stand and laugh (she was very pleased with herself!) then BOOM! down on her butt. Only to try again on another piece of furniture.

  96. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeheheheheee :D

    I love it. The cat is like “…how long til she learns to climb these things…?”

  97. blf says

    And there actually are recipes for “Espresso Soup”, albeit what is meant seems to be (a) Soup served in espresso- or cappuccino-sized cups (due to cost, richness, or cosmetic (appearance) reasons); (b) Instant-soup “pods” for suitable espresso machines; or (c) Soups at Espresso shops.

  98. Crudely Wrott says

    re: my #18

    Cicada update.

    The patient has apparently survived the surgery. Curiously, the split in the carapace and my incision seem to be scabbing over. Hmm.
    The nymph is clinging to the oak bark and responding to touch by dismissively waving a leg in my general direction.
    Under magnification I can see some slow undulations and it is stretching various legs in no particular order.
    The area of the split, though now mostly sealed with a black, fibrous layer, is oozing a small amount of clear fluid. There seems to be a growing bulge in the general area.

    I feel like a midwife.

  99. MissEla says

    blf: Ooooo, first link bookmarked! That one didn’t come up in my original searches, but the 2nd one did. I didn’t really want to try oils unless I had to, since it would be such a small batch & a *lot* would go to waste. So now homemade vanilla extract *and* liqueured coffees are on the gift list!

  100. Crudely Wrott says

    From the Yeah, It Figures desk:

    A Pakistani court has dismissed charges against a Muslim cleric who had been arrested on suspicion of framing a Christian girl accused of blasphemy.

    The imam had accused 14-year-old Rimsha Masih of burning pages from the Koran.

    The teenager spent several weeks in prison, and has since fled to Canada with her family.

    Khalid Jadoon was never formally indicted, and as witnesses have now withdrawn their accusations he has been freed.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-23739778

    The punk walks. :(
    .
    .
    DARKBABY SOON TO WALK!!! =)

  101. blf says

    I feel like a midwife.

    Bug surgeon.
    I seem to recall Richard Feymann, in Surely You’re Joking, Mr Feynmann, wrote that he, as a kid, once tried bug surgery (leg amputation, as I recall (don’t recall why)) and almost set the house on fire. That, in the mildly deranged penguin’s view, is (almost) true bug surgery. “Almost” because it wasn’t LOUD, i.e., no explosions or screams (not even from the bug). Even so, you have a ways to go…

  102. yazikus says

    DARKBABY SOON TO WALK!!! =)

    Coming soon, to a theatre near you!

    But really, I would watch it!

    I’m feeling a bit sad, I backed out of a be-wigged karaoke adventure tonight. I was excited to go, and my partner wanted me to go. We just didn’t plan well, and didn’t get a child caretaker for the little fella until too late, by then we’d been to a b-day party and little-f had had too much cake, not enough food, and I was worrying about cleaning the house for the babysitter. Boo. Plus my social anxiety kicked in, the karaoke group is a bunch of super cool gay ladies and their friends, and I kind of don’t feel cool enough to go along. Or outgoing enough. Or not wig-wearing enough/sparkly bell bottom donning enough. So I chickened out. And am now home, wondering whether I should watch Netflix or Hulu. Argh. I hate my social anxiety. I never used to have it when I was younger. Last minute plans? Count me in! Weird changes in plans? No problem!

    Such is life? I guess so.

  103. Crudely Wrott says

    Even so, you have a ways to go…

    Yup.

    Where am I goin’?
    I don’t know.
    When will I get there?
    I ain’t certain.
    All that I know is I’m a bug surgeon.

    aplogies to Andre Previn
    ———-

    Such is life?

    Yup.
    People change. Times change. Tastes change.
    You’re being challenged to adapt.
    Not that it’s easy or anything . . .
    You’ll get the hang of it anyway.

  104. Nutmeg says

    yazikus:

    Plus my social anxiety kicked in, the karaoke group is a bunch of super cool gay ladies and their friends, and I kind of don’t feel cool enough to go along. Or outgoing enough. Or not wig-wearing enough/sparkly bell bottom donning enough.

    *sympathy hugs if desired* Social anxiety sucks so much. You are enough of you, and that should be enough for anyone. But I know it doesn’t feel that way. There are some groups where I feel extremely out of place, and that sounds like it would be one of them.

    With regards to the “super cool gay ladies and their friends” – I’m not sure if you are also a gay lady (I am!), and for a while after I came out I thought that my social life should include a queer circle resembling The L Word. It was a relief to admit to myself that that wasn’t going to happen and probably wouldn’t make me happy anyway. I have trouble making queer friends because I hate bars, even gay bars, and I’m shy and too old for the student group at my university. Oh well. I’m an adult, I get to decide what my life should look like, and I’d rather be happy with my nerdy, outdoorsy straight friends than miserable trying to make friends with the queer party crowd.

    [end digression that may or may not be applicable]

  105. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Charly,
    No helpful advice, just sympathy and *hugs*

    ———
    Alexandra,
    Squeeee! Darkbaby is adorable as always.

    ——-
    Tony,
    I mostly got used to the new nyms, except that I’m constantly misreading Ing’s new one as either Indigo Jump or Ingdingo Jump.
    —–
    I had opinions about My gay date thread, but didn’t want to say anything because of possible case of straight person ‘splaining why gay/bi folks should be offended, when they were not. And I’m being an asshole to people lately, so I’m double-checking my thoughts before I type.

  106. Ingdigo Jump says

    It should be Indigo Jump, but intentionally misspelling so there’s no nyme confusion (hopefully)

  107. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    yazikus:

    Boy, does that sound familiar. I hate anxiety, social or otherwise, and I know it well. What usually gets me off my butt and out of the house when anxiety stands in the way is the fact that I am, more often than not, happy that I went. And if I’m not, I structure things so I can get right home if I need to.* Not sure if that’d be helpful for you or not, but I hope whatever you end up doing in the future, you’re happy doing it.

    *Sometimes that’s harder to do than others, like when I rode with Jerkfriend who got all up in my face and pressured me to drink more and ended up triggering me and making me literally run away and hide in a bank foyer and call S to come get me. But those times are usually the exception. And they teach me who to never go hang out with again.

    /end digression is probably not helpful. Sorry.

  108. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    I totally missed Ing’s nym change. Woops. Good to know.

  109. Ingdigo Jump says

    Couple things I want to vent quick

    a) Anyone else think Assange’s biggest complaint about Rand Paul being nonviolence says something horrifying about him?

    b) I have a friend who partner observes has big fan boi tendencies who shit flipped me bad mouthing Assange (yeah like stopping’s going to happen). This lead to me getting really fucking mad when he was rude as hell to me about it personally while I was asking other people to go easy on him (regretting that now). Part of the thing is that if shit like this comes up again (which it might if it’s about Castro or Assange or evopsyche) is that the odds of getting me to shut up are like nill but I fear if topics like that are pushed like that especially with personal attacks it’ll hurt friendship. Any comments/advice. Tentative solution after making up is to block on twitter

  110. Ingdigo Jump says

    Also AFAIK Chrome won’t search for case sensitive making it easier to miss responses, thus new nyme

  111. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Ing: It would if I were any good at noticing avatars. It’s pretty bleeding* obvious to anyone who looks :) I’m not one who goes by avatars, though. I’ve always been very…lexical? Spellcheck says that’s a word so I’m going with it.

    *Binge-watching Buffy leads to gratuitous Britishisms as filtered through American media.

  112. Portia, Slayer of Nefarious Untruths Regarding Heretofore Unvindicated Claims of Pictionary Victory says

    Oh, that makes a lot of sense. I bet there’s a lot of hits from Ctrl+f “ing” .

  113. Nutmeg says

    Tonight is not a sleeping night, apparently. Damn it.

    I have a bachelorette party to go to tomorrow, and a wedding on Friday night. What a change from last summer, when a different friend got married and I dreaded every moment of it! (Some of you may even remember – I think I offloaded a fair bit of angst here.) It’s partly that this summer’s wedding is infinitely more low-key and partly that I don’t have to pretend to be straight at this one and partly that I’ve had a lot of practice controlling anxiety this year and I’m more confident in my ability to hold my shit together through an entire evening of celebrating.

    Also, minor detail: thesis defense on Tuesday morning, revisions to be submitted by Thursday afternoon. Thesis stress is probably a major factor in why I’m still awake and rambling here. I can’t yet predict when I’m going to have a night terror, but stress definitely seems to be a factor, so I’m a little nervous to go to sleep.

  114. Crudely Wrott says

    And, finally: microbiomes in space

    The NASA microbiome experiment, sponsored by the J. Craig Venter Institute, is studying the changes that occur in microbes in and on the body during a space mission, a company spokesman said.

    A microbiome is the entire array of living microorganisms in a particular environment, the spokesman said.

    Researchers hope to understand whether those changes in space will result in health risks for astronauts.

    The astronauts will use the Hardy Diagnostics products to sample the microbiome in and on their own bodies as well as the microbiome of the surfaces within the International Space Station.

    How ’bout that. Astronauts got bugs too.

    G’night.

  115. Portia, oblivious says

    Nutmeg:

    Wow, you’ve got a lot going on! I hope you can get some peaceful rest tonight…or at least after your thesis defense. Good luck with that, btw. Lots of luck and hugs and what sounds like an actually fun wedding :) Good luck getting through a really hectic week.

  116. says

    Good morning

    Charly
    I’m sorry you’re in a bad place.
    Please go and see a doctor as soon as you can. Having a mental illness is not much different from breaking a leg, there’s nothing more shameful about seeing a therapist or taking antidepressants than there is about needing surgery and crutches. There’s nothing shameful about being non-neurotypical.
    But none of us here can give you a diagnosis.
    There can be all kind of things, from a fucked-up thyroid over psychological issues to being on the spectrum, but for all these things there’s help out there.
    And while you’re not allowed to punch people who suggest Yoga or St. James Worth you’re allowed to ignore their suggestions and tell them to stuff it where the sun doesn’t shine.
    *hugs* if you want them.

    Crudely
    I’m glad to see you here. I’ve been wondering over the holiday about how you are

    Alexandra
    Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    Tony
    I got some vibes from that thread, too.
    Seems like PZ grasped the patriarchal elements but slipped on the heteronormativity. I guess that for heterosexual men it’s twice unusual and strange: Heterosexual people don’t expect to be hit on by a same sex person, men don’t expect to be hit on at all.

    +++
    I think my kids just produced the perfect analogy for whiny dudes: #1 complained about being bitten in the hand by her sister – when she had clasped her hand about her sister’s mouth.

  117. says

    Thank you for the support and responses.

    I am well aware of the perils of internet diagnosis/self diagnosing, that is why I was not asking for one, sorry if it came over that way. I am also well aware of the connection between thyroid levels and depression – my thyroid levels are normal. I know this, because I had autoimune Graves disease and I have to go for thyroid checks on regular basis. High thyroid levels can cause depression too, btw, the shit hits the fan when the thyroid goes off balance either way.

    Exersise does not work at all for me, interestingly it is the only think a psychologist was able to recommend to me twelve years ago (to be fair, he was not a therapist but a lecturer and no doubt science advanced since then). I am stereotypical nerd in this regard, give me a basketball and I will hurt myself in the most spectacular and hitherto thougth as impossible way.

    The idea that depression impairs my intelect anyway and maybe even more than eventual treatment with antidepressants did not occur to me, thanks.

    I have succesfully talked two people with mental problems into visiting specialists. “Funny” thing how I cannot do the same with myself despite knowing it is the only reasonable thing to do.

  118. opposablethumbs says

    Alexandra (and I do still always want to type Audley): yes, pretty damn adorable! So that’s officially DarkToddler now? :-)
    .
    Did not know that about the etymology of “kyriarchy”, Crudely (always thought it was a reference to the religion-religious domination-patriarchy combo, based on the specifically xtian use of “lord”). Thank you.

  119. chigau (残念ですね) says

    Alexandra
    Look out! Darkbabby has the remote control!

    Crudely Wrott
    nice work on the bug

  120. Nutmeg says

    Well, only a small probable night terror. I don’t remember it at all, but the recording shows nothing more dramatic than a single very scared-sounding “Oh, no!” in the middle of the night. Could be a lot worse. Also had a nightmare about a fugitive who took my family hostage, hid my hunting equipment so I couldn’t fight back, and pointed a gun at me. Fortunately, at that moment my dad blew his nose very loudly and woke me up.

    If I remain in my bed at all times when not fully awake, I count the night as a victory. Last night was unpleasant but I stayed in my bed, so that’s good.

  121. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Yay!, the Redhead’s parents should be arriving today for a visit. Extra mouths mean extra work, but they can help out with the Redhead, taking a huge burden off of me.

  122. says

    Thanks, everyone!

    DarkBaby pulled herself up once this morning, then couldn’t do it again. She was so frustrated that even her blankie couldn’t calm her down, so we’re eating a banana before trying again. :)

  123. Portia, oblivious says

    Nerd:

    Hope the visit is good and you get a bit of a well-deserved break from some of your chores.

    Nutmeg:

    Hooray for the (sort-of) win, and hope that very very soon your stress-hypothesis is vindicated and you get to sleep peacefully.

  124. broboxley OT says

    okay, after all of the references I had to read the “gay date” post. What I came away with was
    “It was an opportunity lost because signals were misunderstood.”
    perhaps badly explained but that was the intended point.
    Reminds me of why directness back in the day was useful
    Early after meeting the question of sex would be asked point blank. The answer would be sure, maybe, no or hell no. That got sex out of the way so a conversation could continue uninterrupted by angst

  125. nightshadequeen says

    blf

    And it is pretty good at brewing coffee on the Internet.

    HTTP 418

    Giliell

    And while you’re not allowed to punch people who suggest Yoga or St. James Worth you’re allowed to ignore their suggestions and tell them to stuff it where the sun doesn’t shine.

    I seriously don’t understand the people who are anti-antidepressants and pro-St. Johns Wort.

    ….St. John’s Wort is an antidepressant. In that, I mean it raises serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine levels [as well as the levels of a number of other neurotransmitters]. It’s like taking both Prozac and Wellbutrin, except running doses through a random number generator first, fucking with CYP450-3A4, hitting random other neurotransmitters, and oh by the way it degrades over time so it’s difficult/annoying to store. Have fun, I’ll take the Prozac.

    [The active ingredient for St. John’s Wort is hyperforin.]

    A nice warm light is awesome.

    Seconding this, especially if you don’t have good natural light from a window.

    Ask the RA about what the repainting policy is. When I was in a dorm we were allowed to repaint, choosing from several varieties of white

    .

    Actually, I’ve seen places where the painting policy was very permissive.

    I believe the policy in the last dorm I was in went something like “Do what you want, but if the next resident complains, you’re painting it white again.”

    the more comfy a room is, the more likely it ends up being the room people congregate in for chatting and friendship stuff.

    I’ve seen teh architectural corollary to this – if a building has nice lounge spaces, especially nice lounge spaces you have to cross to get to your room, people tend to hang out in those nice lounge spaces and not isolate themselves in their rooms.

    Main problem, as I now recall, were the chairs: Hard and wooden. Bean-bag chairs were popular (relatively cheap, still fairly new and mod-ish (at the time), and comfortable). Some people also rigged up hammocks.

    Oh, yes. A good desk chair is amazing.

    Alexandra

    DARKBABY PULLED HERSELF UP TO STAND TODAY.

    d’aww

    yazikus

    Plus my social anxiety kicked in, the karaoke group is a bunch of super cool gay ladies and their friends, and I kind of don’t feel cool enough to go along.

    You seem plenty cool to me.

    And yeah, social anxiety sucks.

    Portia

    Sometimes that’s harder to do than others, like when I rode with Jerkfriend who got all up in my face and pressured me to drink more and ended up triggering me and making me literally run away and hide in a bank foyer and call S to come get me.

    Oh wow, that really sucks.

    *hugs*, if wanted.

    Charly

    I have succesfully talked two people with mental problems into visiting specialists. “Funny” thing how I cannot do the same with myself despite knowing it is the only reasonable thing to do.

    …Hey, that’s part of depression. I totally did that too, except also with eating and sleeping.

    If it’s any help: You’re doing better than me – I had to be involuntarily commited to figure out that yeah, maybe talking to a specialist might a good idea.

    The idea that depression impairs my intelect anyway and maybe even more than eventual treatment with antidepressants did not occur to me, thanks.

    Oh, then this might be interesting reading for you.

    If by interesting I mean scary.

  126. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    If by interesting I mean scary.

    Well… that is scary.

  127. says

    Hey, that’s part of depression. I totally did that too, except also with eating and sleeping.

    Indeed. I haven’t slept a full night in a week now. Although I suppose that humidity and an apparent flu are also contributors to that. I’m supposed to be going in to volunteer here in an hour or so, but I don’t know if I’m together enough to get down there right now.

  128. carlie says

    Tony – I think the o.O is like a raised eyebrow, googly-eye stare kind of thing. Sort of an “oh no, really?” sometimes, a “Well, would you look at THAT”, or general surprise/agog/dumbfounded thing. I’ve seen it used for straight surprise as well as more sarcastic “Oh, reaaaaaalllly, you don’t say” kind of emoticon.

  129. Portia, oblivious says

    nightshadequeen:

    Thanks, it did suck. It was about six months ago, and I went on and on about it here at the time, ha. Taught about the relative quality of people in my life, though, which was good. (Among the highest quality were the awesome people here who gave me lots of support and validation).

  130. Portia, oblivious says

    I ran 25 minutes straight again today. And I went just a little bit faster than last time. It was really hard and I was really challenged, but I’m also proud of myself. Whew.

  131. says

    Charly, my Elder Daughter and I both suffer from depression and stress issues.

    Anyway, in regard to exercise: It doesn’t have to be organized sports (we hate those too). Daughter and I have both found that going for a walk helps sometimes, especially if it’s nice out and you can enjoy the flowers and birds and other local wildlife. She also uses a pedal exerciser to blow off steam, when she can’t go outside. It may not work for you, but if it’s safe to walk outside where you are, or if you can get to a local mall or park and walk there, it’s free and worth trying if you feel so inclined.

    I wish you all the best, and I do hope you can find someone to talk to who can give you advice that works for you. It took me several years to admit that I couldn’t cope on my own; knowing that you need help is a big start.

  132. says

    Moments of Mormon Madness: Deseret news published “11 can’t-miss tips for successful LDS Missionaries.” [emphasis mine]

    1. Be obedient — period. Following mission rules brings blessings you cannot fathom until you are immersed in obedience. Learn the rules and follow them.
    2. Don’t judge. At times, you will feel tempted to judge other missionaries and their efforts. Remember, your skills and natural abilities may be different than those you serve with. Their best effort doesn’t need to be good enough for you; it needs to be good enough for the Lord.
    3. Be obedient every minute of every day. You are unlikely to meet returned missionaries who were obedient but still regret their missions. But you will certainly encounter others who were never consistently obedient and never found the promised success and happiness. Being obedient doesn’t mean you won’t have difficult days, but it does mean more much success and happiness than otherwise.
    4. Serve your companions. Iron their shirts, make their beds and shine their shoes. If you’re blessed to be assigned a more challenging personality or someone who’s struggling, serve them even more.
    5. Be obedient — even in the small things. Obedience is the only frequency that the Spirit operates in. Be sure you’re dialed in every time you walk out your front door to share the gospel.
    6. Give praise. Tell your companions, especially the challenging ones, that you think they’re great missionaries and, eventually, they will be. At some point you will inevitably be assigned the companion with the “reputation.” Let them know you’ve only heard terrific things about them and offer a clean slate. When your mission is complete, be the one who says every single companion he had was amazing.
    7. Be obedient. You will make mistakes and grow better each day at effectively teaching the gospel. But while you can’t be perfect in all things, you can be perfectly obedient.
    8. Love. Love those you teach with all your heart, even the ones who ultimately reject the message. You will plant seeds that may not be harvested for months or years by others who will come after. But you’ll harvest some that were planted by missionaries now home, married and gray.
    9. Exercise faith that obedience leads to greater success. If you have faith in this principle, you will see it unfold in miraculous ways.
    10. Love each and every day. Young missionaries only get this opportunity to serve 24/7. Leave nothing behind and don’t regret a single day.
    11. Be yourself! Smile! Laugh! Have fun! Sometimes elders and sisters think that obedience and the black name tag means you’re required to shelf your personality and become ultra serious. The Lord doesn’t want us to be different people — he wants us to be better versions of ourselves.

    I guess we can also assume from this list that the LDS church must be sending some real assholes into the mission field, “companions” that get on the last nerve of their unfortunate partners.

  133. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    I seriously don’t understand the people who are anti-antidepressants and pro-St. Johns Wort.

    ….St. John’s Wort is an antidepressant. In that, I mean it raises serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine levels [as well as the levels of a number of other neurotransmitters]. It’s like taking both Prozac and Wellbutrin, except running doses through a random number generator first, fucking with CYP450-3A4, hitting random other neurotransmitters, and oh by the way it degrades over time so it’s difficult/annoying to store. Have fun, I’ll take the Prozac.

    Also, it reportedly fucks with hormonal birth control, which its recommenders are unlikely to mention.

  134. Portia, oblivious says

    Also, it reportedly fucks with hormonal birth control, which its recommenders are unlikely to mention.

    Not that I had plans to take SJW, but an unintended pregnancy would be really…depressing. : p

  135. Portia, oblivious says

    Dalillama:

    Indeed. I haven’t slept a full night in a week now. Although I suppose that humidity and an apparent flu are also contributors to that. I’m supposed to be going in to volunteer here in an hour or so, but I don’t know if I’m together enough to get down there right now.

    Just saw this. *hugs*, my friend. What’s the worst that would happen if you just rested? Would the effort of getting down there be a good distraction?

    Hope you can find the mouse…that really sucks. That smell…I hate that smell.

  136. says

    https://proxy.freethought.online/lousycanuck/2013/08/15/mr-deity-and-the-victim-blaming-and-dismissiveness-of-serious-allegations/#comment-116939

    https://proxy.freethought.online/lousycanuck/2013/08/15/mr-deity-and-the-victim-blaming-and-dismissiveness-of-serious-allegations/#comment-116973

    I really appreciated these two comments from LeftSidePositive and doubtthat. The former bc it made plain why getting drunk and being raped is NOT the same as getting drunk and driving home. The latter bc it is yet another excellent response to dudebros that I want to file away.

  137. blf says

    soon we’ll all need to wear aprons and carry the eggs the old fashioned way

    Slingslots make good egg-moving devices. However, as the mildly deranged penguin points out, only a few eggs can be moved at a time. For buld egg transport, she suggests&hellipl; the Trebuchet! Any decent-sized one will even move the entire henhouse, saving time and effort all around.

    I suggest doing a Monty Python & The Knights of the Holy Grail maneuver, and not being inside when it’s moved…

  138. says

    I was almost fooled:

    http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/improperly-performed-acupuncture-linked-to-spontaneous-human-combustion/

    Baton Rouge, LA-When investigators climbed from out of the smoldering debris that was the home of Hank Thomas, the looks on their faces told the gathering crowd what these hardened veterans of the Baton Rouge Fire Department couldn’t put into words. Thomas, a yoga instructor and avid fisherman who had lived in Baton Rouge his entire life, had exploded. And as the grisly details slowly emerge, people are asking questions about what might be to blame and how they can prevent being the next Baton Rougian to erupt into a massive fireball of body parts and Tony Chachere’s Creole Seasoning.

    Some local medical professionals have proposed a controversial theory. Based on reports that Thomas has undergone acupuncture treatments for sciatica several times in the weeks preceding his untimely fulmination, a group of local experts are speaking out. They are warning the community to beware of discount acupuncture clinics.

    “We aren’t saying that every incidence of spontaneous human combustion is linked to the incorrect placement of acupuncture needles,” Kuang Zhu LAC, Chief of Pragmatic Acupuncture in the Health and Wellness division of Vic’s Day Spa and Pet Grooming Center, explained during a recent press conference. “But in some cases, there is a relationship that is hard to explain otherwise.”

    Zhu, a legally licensed acupuncturist in Baton Rouge, Louisiana for over thirty years and founder of the “Know Your Needler!” campaign, is reaching out to the Baton Rouge community because of concerns that there are patients seeking care from unlicensed and poorly trained practitioners that don’t charge as much per session. “These rogue needle-wielding impersonators don’t fully grasp the power of acupuncture, acupressure, sonopuncture, electroacupuncture, cold laser therapy, or any of the other ancient techniques of stimulating specific acupoints. With great ability to heal, comes an equal ability to harm.”

    More at the link.

  139. nightshadequeen says

    Dalillama

    Indeed. I haven’t slept a full night in a week now.

    *hugs* if wanted. Insomnia sucks.

    And good luck finding that mouse.

    Tony

    Ok, I just know I am gonna feel silly asking bc the answer is probably obvious, but what expression is meant by ” o.O ” ?

    Generally, confused shock, with one raised eyebrow.

    According to web analytics firm GoSquared, worldwide internet traffic dipped by a stunning 40 per cent during the brief minutes that the Chocolate Factory’s services were offline.

    40% of the internet is google?

    Portia

    I ran 25 minutes straight again today. And I went just a little bit faster than last time. It was really hard and I was really challenged, but I’m also proud of myself. Whew.

    Congratz :D

    Anne D

    my Elder Daughter and I both suffer from depression and stress issues.

    *hugs* if wanted

    Anyway, in regard to exercise: It doesn’t have to be organized sports (we hate those too). Daughter and I have both found that going for a walk helps sometimes, especially if it’s nice out and you can enjoy the flowers and birds and other local wildlife.

    Much agreed; It’s also great for picking up enough sunlight.

    Giliell

    Yep, it can render it inefficient…

    ….figures.

    CYP450-3A4 apparently breaks down estrogen. That explains a lot.

  140. Pteryxx says

    This is what the ALEC national conference looks like, from a Democrat who attended:

    http://billmoyers.com/2013/08/15/a-dem-adrift-in-alec-land/

    I said, I don’t think most people are going to want to amend the Constitution for that. I don’t think that ignites people. Maybe it does on the far right, but most people don’t really care about that. And he said, “Oh, well, you really don’t need people to do this. You just need control over the legislature and you need money, and we have both.”

    That sentiment was underscored so many times to me, that they don’t want people involved in the political process, or in the policy process. And that seems to be the intent in a lot of ways: You have a think tank in every state and all they do is come up with these very, very regressive policies, you have corporations who are going to benefit so they fund it all, and then you have the legislators as your foot soldiers to carry out the tasks.

    There were a couple of instances where legislators actually did challenge some of the policies, but they always lost. The legislators were admonished many times during this conference for not doing enough and for not standing up to the federal government more.

    also:

    http://www.progressive.org/alec-nation

    Former Wisconsin Assembly Speaker Scott Jensen, now a senior adviser to the American Federation for Children, made a presentation in the Education Task Force meeting, where he gleefully reported that two-to-three new states each year adopt the private voucher school system.

    […]

    I also sat through an extensive presentation in the Labor and Business Regulation subcommittee on a model bill restricting a state’s ability to license and regulate occupations.

    […]

    There is no comparable infrastructure on the left. ALEC makes it easy.

    Along with model bills comes every piece of information (whether true or not) you could ever need, including handbooks and manuals with pro-active and reactive talking points.

    ALEC also gives lawmakers the support of a network of conservative think tanks, which exist in every state, that provide data and research.

    She suggests progressives need a similar network of support for legislation that actually works. I’m thinking this would look something like what we did spontaneously for the filibuster in Texas, feeding research and information from the ground directly to the legislators.

  141. says

    Crowdsourcing: Anyone know how to implement a Paypal gateway on a website that customers have to go through, pay their bill, then redirect back to website to be able to access a web form? If you can assist, please email via the blog or reply here, much appreciated!

  142. says

    So as I was reading the Skepticdoc thread, the nursery rhyme ‘Pop goes the weasel’ for no aparent reason popped into my head so I went looking up info on it.
    I do declare!
    I had no idea:

    Rhyme & History The Nursery Rhyme, ‘Pop goes the weasel’ sounds quite incomprehensible in this day an age! The origins of the rhyme are believed to date back to the 1700’s. We have listed two versions of the rhyme on this page. The first rhyme is the better known version – some translation is in order!

    Pop and Weasel? These words are derived from Cockney Rhyming slang which originated in London. Cockneys were a close community and had a suspicion of strangers and a dislike of the Police (they still do!) Cockneys developed a language of their own based roughly on a rhyming slang – it was difficult for strangers to understand as invariably the second noun would always be dropped. Apples and Pears (meaning stairs) would be abbreviated to just ‘apples’, for instance, “watch your step on the apples”. To “Pop” is the slang word for “Pawn”. Weasel is derived from “weasel and stoat” meaning coat. It was traditional for even poor people to own a suit, which they wore as their ‘Sunday Best’. When times were hard they would pawn their suit, or coat, on a Monday and claim it back before Sunday. Hence the term ” Pop goes the Weasel”

    In and out the Eagle? The words to the Rhyme are “Up and down the City road, in and out the Eagle -That’s the way the money goes – Pop! goes the weasel”. The Eagle refers to ‘The Eagle Tavern’ a pub which is located on the corner of City Road and Shepherdess Walk in Hackney, North London. The Eagle was an old pub which was re-built as a music hall in 1825. Charles Dickens (1812-1870) was known to frequent the Music Hall. It was purchased by the Salvation Army in 1883 (they were totally opposed to drinking and Music Halls). The hall was later demolished and was rebuilt as a public house in 1901

    http://www.rhymes.org.uk/a116a-pop-goes-the-weasel.htm
    ______
    Long comment ahead about women and blacks in Marvel Comics–

    Now bc my brain is in super duper random mode, I just realized that many of Stan Lee’s female protagonists in the early days of Marvel Comics had passive abilities. I was thinking about the scene between Jean (Famke Janssen) and Cyclops (James Marsden) in X2. Visually Scotts optic blasts are impressive. Jeans invisible telekinetic shield has no direct visual component. Then I recalled that she also can move people and objects, which isnt passive. But there is still the missing visual element.
    In the early 60s,following DC Comics’ success, Stan Lee created the Fantastic Four. Of course he wanted more drama and human interaction than DC. Stan wanted characters with feet of clay. Of course, this being the 60s, Lee’s treatment of women was a reflection of the times. Janet van Dyne (aka the Wasp) shrunk to insect size and had wasp atings, which were an annoyance…pesky…hmmm
    Susan Storm, the Invisible Girl turned invisible. Right next to elastic limbs, firepower, and super strength, she was invisible. Stans treatment of women, especially as he wrote Reed and Sue was horrible. Reed was a sexist douchemaggot. Even when Sue began creating force fields and other objects, they were still invisible.
    Now, I am not saying women should not have abilities that lack a visual component or that are visually impressive, but when your three main characters have passive abilities, and you write them as ‘pesky girls’, you’ve a problem.
    The next main super powered female character he created was probably Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch. Her powers were luck related. She was able to make the improbable occur. Misfiring guns. Collapsing walls. People tripping. Very passive, with no visual component either.
    Reading 1960s Marvel Comics is difficult.

    Of the above characters, Jean, Wanda, and Sue saw such tremendous gains in their abikities in the ensuing 50 years that they outstripped many of their fellows. Sue’s powers never changed, but she honed them significantly. She is still considered the most powerful member of the Fantastic Four.
    Wanda underwent decades of confusion about her powers. Were her ‘hexes’ just random, uncontrolled bad luck or was there more to it? In time, she developed some magic skills which enhanced her natural talents. Sometimes she was treated as telekinetic or able to manipulate earth, air, fire and water. Still later, she developed her magic powers and hex abilities enough to tap into chaos magic, which ramped her powers up tremendously, making her one of the most powerful Avengers. Not complete to leave her there, Brian Michael Bendis had her go insane at the death of her children, which had some effect on her powers, enabling her to manipulate reality, making her a cosmically powerful person. Following an alternate reality story, Wanda used her powers in one of her most famous examples. Being confronted by the death of her brother, Quicksilver, at the hands of their father, Magneto (whom she despised for manipulating her), Wanda ended the alternate reality and uttered the words “No more mutants”, which caused 99% of the worlds mutant population to lose their powers.

    Jean went on to develop her telekinesis and telepathy to greater levels. Her powers ramped up by orders of magnitude when she became the host for a cosmic entity known as the Phoenix Force. Now she could manipulate electromagnetic energy, rearrange atoms and molecules on a massive level, amplify her abilities by feeding on energy sources and was able to fly through interstellar space unaided at faster than light speeds.

    The Wasp never had any massive advances in her abilities, but her greatest development came during her tenure as leader of the Avengers, where she shined and proved a natural.

    Looking back, it seems many writers sought to empower various female heroes so they could stand tall with their male compatriots. I really appreciate that (not that there were no missteps along the way…Bendis I am looking at you).

    Advances in civil rights probably helped make creators more comfortable creating minority heroes in the 60s and 70s, with Black Panther, Luke Cage and Falcon debuting. Looking back though, I think they got shafted on the racial axis of kyriarchy. T’Challa, the Black Panther did not have superhuman abilties. Rather, he was similar to Captain America, with abilities at the upper limits of human capacity. He also had enhanced senses, though not as acute as Daredevil or Wolverine. He was also the leader of a secret African nation with advanced technology created by T’Challa himself (he is a scientific genius in several fields)
    But really, while these are nice, they are overall unimpressive for a new black character in a visual medium like comics. I feel he should have had a visual component to help him stand out amid the sea of white men. He has the the same issue as Wasp or Scarlet Witch.

    We saw Falcon, who was billed as Captain Americas partner, which was a cool distinction, but initially, he was just a crimefighter with no powers or weapons. He later came to have a psychic bond with his avian companion, and in recent years developed the ability to communicate with and control birds. He has been the brneficiary of the Black Panthers kindness, as the latter gave him a flying suit. Thus, Falcon, one of Caps closest friends has an ability or two to bring to bear. Though they still do not pack a visual punch.

    Speaking of punch…the next black character was Luke Cage, hero for hire. He was falsely imprisoned and subjected to strange experiments which gave him super strength and ‘diamond hard’ skin. He chose to make money with his powers though he often helped others altruistically. Cage had super strength, true, but it was quite minimal in comparison to Thor, the Hulk or the Thing. Today, thanks to Brian Bendis’affection for the character, Cage has been a longtime member and one time leader of the Avengers. His abilities have also increased substantially over the years.

    It wasnt until the creation of Ororo Munroe (aka Storm) in 1975 that we had a black character and a female character in one package with a unique, visually impressive power set: weather manipulation. Storms powers have largely stayed the same over the years, though she has tremendously fine control over them.

    One character I have long had an affinity for is Monica Rambeau. A former member of the Coast Guard, this black character (formerly known as Captain Marvel) gained one of the most unique and potent power sets of any Avenger: the ability to transform herself into any type of electromagnetic energy. She has largely been out of the spotlight for well over 20 years, but an upcoming ongoing Avengers book will feature her as leader, once more of the Avengers (of note, this book will be a first for Marvel, as it features a HEAVY minority presence…with three black men, a black woman, an Hispanic woman, and only two or three white characters, of which SheHulk is one of)

  143. says

    *Paging Monitors!*

    I’ve just done the handy link dump on the SkepticDoc thread, which is already full of doucheweasels and hyperskeptical JAQers, insisting on going over the same ground which has been covered to infinity already.

    I am so sorry, but I just can’t do this again, not today. So, could you please keep an eyeball or two on the thread? Thanks.

  144. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Caine,

    I just wanted to say that the idiot is ripe for a clean-up. I’m sorry you don’t feel well, take care. Snuggle the ratties.

  145. says

    Thanks, Beatrice. I’m about to kill my connection to the ‘net and soothe the old brain by going back to embroidering tentacles. (No, not on actual cephalopods. ;)) Between Claus, rundvelt and wanderson, I’m about ready to slam my head into the nearest wall. Just can’t do it, and I feel like absolute shit about that, because I should be there for people. At this point though, I don’t think I’d be helping.

  146. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Caine,

    You’re always there for people. Sometimes you need a break too.

  147. says

    Caine, you are, as always, awesome. I’m with Beatrice, take care of yourself, and let the rats take care of you, too.

  148. MissEla says

    I just had to pop back in here and say how awesome all of you regulars are, especially Caine, Tony, Nerd, Gregory, Beatrice, cr, just to name a few. I don’t know how you can do this shit (as referenced by, oh, all of the last week-and-a-half’s posts) so often and so well. I jumped in on the Skeptidoc thread, which I usually don’t do (more of a lurker), because of all of you. (Hope I didn’t piss anyone off–I was a tad irritated.)

    I’ve been reading here since around EGate, and it’s really shown me just how vastly privileged I am. And privilege is a terrible burden–it can be used to such great effect, but it can so easily be used to greatly hurt people. So, thank you. You’ve all taught me so much.

  149. Crudely Wrott says

    Nightshadequeen @ 175

    thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou . . . iiiiinnnnnnhhhhhhaaaaallllllleeeeee . . . verymuch!

    I’ve been looking for this ever since I lost the book that had these movements reproduced as tiny thumbnails.

    These are way better. Some even move!

    Yeah, porn.
    Whoopie!

  150. Portia, oblivious says

    I really liked 2 and 3, Tony. I’m a few eps into Season 7 now. I think the reason 3 and 2 are my favorites is that there is a comforting order to things. Monster appears, Buffy goes to Giles, Giles figures it out, Buffy defeats Monster. I also like Cordelia a lot, in spite of the fact that I resent that she is used as a vehicle for a lot of the sexist tropes that Joss allegedly dispels with Buffy’s character.

  151. cicely says

    Facing Facts: 15 pieces of advice to give your kids about race, fear and everything else

    Amazing Custom Rat Mug is Amazing.
    :)

    Yay, DarkBaby!!!
    (Soon-to-be DarkWalker. Be Afraid!!!)

    http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/08/17/police-tell-victims-call-911-and-youll-get-evicted-under-nuisance-laws/

    :( :( :(

    Nutmeg, I’m sure I’ll say it again later, but best wishes on the defense! And best wishes also for getting enough restful sleep ‘twixt now and then.

    or if you can get to a local mall or park and walk there, it’s free and worth trying if you feel so inclined.

    Also—air conditioned! With water fountains, and bathrooms.
    And without the mosquitoes!!!!
    Back when I still had knees, the mall was my favorite walking area, irritating crowds of customers notwithstanding.

  152. nightshadequeen says

    Many hugs to Caine, take care of yourself…

    —-

    Crudely Wrott

    Thanks :D

    —-

    …sigh are the hyperskeptics out and about in the SkepDoc thread already?

    …not going to be reading that thread, I guess, since my spoon factory seems to be broken and no amount** of coffee seems to be working.

    ** i,i “You know you have a problem when you can’t be arsed to actually brew the coffee and start eating the beans instead. You know you really have a problem when eating a fifth of the damn bag of coffee beans hasn’t done anything yet”

    —-

    Captain Awkward is always awesome, but this thread was really great.

    —-

    I’ve heard vague good things about light therapy. Apparently, just replacing your lights with full-spectrum growth lights does a fair amount of good, and is cheap and side-effect free.

    Unless you’re bipolar, in which case it might trigger mania.

  153. says

    Portia:
    Watching this through the lens of feminism, I wonder how developed Joss’ feminism was back in ’97/’98. I just finished watching “I was made to love you” and it has some disturbingly misogynistic themes. It would have been nice to see the writers address the attitudes of the characters wrt women.

    Who was it round these parts who mockingly channeled MRAs in referring to women as NPCs?
    Thats how the villains in this episode treated women.

    Forgot how much I enjoyed Jenny Calendar.

  154. cicely says

    Also, it reportedly fucks with hormonal birth control, which its recommenders are unlikely to mention.

    Not that I had plans to take SJW, but an unintended pregnancy would be really…depressing. : p

    Or fucking astonishing.
    The Husband takes it, and my repro system has been uninstalled. If there is a pregnancy to be had here, he will have to be the one to have it!
    ;)

    Giliell, the gold jellyfish against the blue background is very striking—and my favorite!

    Caine, what Beatrice said.
    *hugs&chocolate*

  155. carlie says

    “You know you have a problem when you can’t be arsed to actually brew the coffee and start eating the beans instead.

    I hate brewed coffee, but I can eat chocolate-covered coffee beans like they’re going out of style. I don’t know what that’s about.

    I’ve heard vague good things about light therapy. Apparently, just replacing your lights with full-spectrum growth lights does a fair amount of good, and is cheap and side-effect free.

    I know a couple of people who have gone the light therapy route, and are quite happy with it. I need to look into it this winter because I’ve been keeping more attentive tabs on my moods through the last couple of years, and I’m fairly convinced that I get reliably awful in winter.

  156. digitalmonk says

    So I was directed to this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWt6DW8I4Ao and I was wondering about how right Wolpert is with regards to the psych stuff. I remember a couple of those studies having some methodological errors but totally forget what studies they were.

    I was directed to it by an MRA sort so I’m not sure how fruitful it’ll be to respond, but I’m not really responding for his benefit.

    Also, Caine, this might be my first, or second, post, but you’re definitely an inspiration and deserve a break. I read through those thousands of comments long things and god damn it was impressive.

  157. broboxley OT says

    carlie #196 november is always a real bad month for spouse and I. Over the years we have learned to do the dancing on eggs routine to make it to january before the horrors of february set in. Being in the south the lights are always on as added heat is good and it seems to help. 4ft florescent run at 90F with soft lights in various placements. Scientific no, helps us a little bit yes.

  158. Crudely Wrott says

    Cicada Update

    The nymph was lying on its back at the base of the oak bark section at eight this morning. Still alive, it was able to climb slowly, with some prodding, and reestablish a grip on the bark. As the morning passed it became increasingly weaker and by noon was dead. A postmortem examination was carried out about six in the evening.

    The necropsy revealed a nearly perfect, though very soggy, adult cicada inside the nymph exoskeleton. Injuries consistent with crushing were present.

    The damage done during the initial discovery (dragging a nearly full trashcan over the poor bugger) was more obvious on the inner adult than on the outer nymph. Bruising and torn tissue on the right side from the front of the thoracic region nearly to the abdomen and affecting all three legs on that side was obvious. The right wing appeared pristine which was not surprising as it is encased in a separate structure that is thicker than the rest of the carapace.

    Death appears to be due to loss of internal fluids, trauma of the extremities and possible, but not observed, internal trauma. The remains are now rejoining the great dance with able assistance from the local population of field ants.

    ————

    The potential future use of the reference to “inner adult” and “outer nymph” seems intriguing. I hereby cast it into the midst of the Horde . . . seems a fitting memorial.
    ;^>

  159. says

    Threadrupt and I’m about to shut the ‘puter down for the night but I just wanted to drop this in here.

    I just watched (the new PBS version of) The Lady Vanishes. A young woman (privileged by her wealth, class, beauty and Englishness; but non-privileged by her lack of family or travelling companions, youth, illness (apparent sunstroke though she believes she was struck on the head) and former “questionable” conduct) has tea with another woman on the train and then goes to sleep. When she wakes up the woman is missing and the other people in her carriage deny she ever existed. All the other passengers who could corroborate her account lie for their own reasons and basically the whole movie is about her trying to convince the sceptics that what happened happened, that she’s not deluded or hysterical or inventing/exaggerating to get attention, and doesn’t need or want to be medically treated against her will by a professional. I couldn’t help but see the parallels.

  160. Hekuni Cat, MQG says

    Only current to 100 but:

    thunk – *gentle hugs*

    mildlyMagnificient – Happy Anniversary!

    Portia – *hugs* for you and your BFF.

    Caine – *hugs and chocolate*

    Alexandra – Yay!! Balloons! Darkbaby is on her way. Soon she’ll be unstoppable. :D

    Also, I must have missed something while I was threadrupt. Did something happen to rq?

  161. Ingdigo Jump says

    The cicadas this year have been great at the new place! Lots of them emerging right under the night lamps! I even found one that died half way through emergence and brought it home for preservation. It’s awsome

  162. Ingdigo Jump says

    Hey if anyone is interested a friend is starting a blog based on geeky things from a disabled POV. Her first review of a Trek episode that flounders trying to address ableism is up

    http://t.co/3GwgtBrQLp

  163. Menyambal --- The Man Who Broke Even at Monte Carlo says

    Cicadas. Yeah, I took my dad to visit a friend of his for what may be the last time. They were outside on a perfect day, in a beautiful setting, and they visited for an hour or so while I listened to them and to a cicada. It wasn’t a 17-year cicada, just a happy summer cicada, but there may never be another cicada like that cicada.

    As for me, I got another notch up on the Nautilus machine today. I tried what I couldn’t do when I started, and it felt like nothing at all. I need to work on other areas, but this is my benchmark. With all the shit going on, it’s nice to have a physical improvement.

  164. Nutmeg says

    So growth lights are a different thing from SAD lights? And cheaper?

    I’ve had mild winter blues since my early teens (worse then, better now). I control it with LOTS AND LOTS of exercise during the winter months, and accepting that my sleep cycle will be slightly fucked. I’d love a SAD light but can’t justify the expense when I can control my symptoms other ways. If growth lights are cheaper and might help (and don’t give off UV), I might try that this winter.

  165. Crudely Wrott says

    chigau, yes, “yay for the dance”. I’m really taken with the notion of life as dance in which everything participates.

    A wonderful example that spoke to me and fleshed out some of my early concepts of the notion can be found in Norman Spinrad’s “Songs From The Stars”. It’s been a while since I read it but I recall that there was a meeting with some alien consciousness that revealed to the human characters visions and insights into life on a cosmic scale. The revelation was of a dance, or, a dance of dances with meetings and partings and whirling just for the sake of the whirling itself. It was heady and joyous and dizzying. For the characters in the story, too. =) Pretty soon would be a good time to hunt down another copy and read it again.

    Ingdigo Jump is Ing! Hello, I just realized it. (does little dance) Nice to know you are still around.

    Morgan, ;^>

  166. says

    Nutmeg
    Most grow lights are full-spectrum, and do put out a certain amount of UV, but I don’t think it’s any more than the usual SAD lights do. I’m having some trouble finding details on that though.

  167. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Most grow lights are full-spectrum, and do put out a certain amount of UV, but I don’t think it’s any more than the usual SAD lights do. I’m having some trouble finding details on that though.

    Glass is a pretty inefficient transmitter of most of the UV range, but I don’t recall exactly what the transmission range is.

  168. Pteryxx says

    Hey if anyone is interested a friend is starting a blog based on geeky things from a disabled POV. Her first review of a Trek episode that flounders trying to address ableism is up

    http://t.co/3GwgtBrQLp

    Board game reviews! Including useability! EEEEEE!

  169. birgerjohansson says

    Alexandra:
    Hail Veloci-hotep, guardian demon of bipedal organisms.
    — — — — —
    We haz the beginnings of autumn outside :(

  170. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    We haz the beginnings of autumn outside :(

    [California]Is it November already?[/California]

  171. glodson says

    One day, I’ll get it through my head that reading an entire thread that is going to angry up my blood is not good for trying to lull myself back to sleep.

  172. birgerjohansson says

    Re. “Cute mammal is first carnivore discovered in Western Hemisphere for 35 years” http://www.nature.com/news/cute-mammal-is-first-carnivore-discovered-in-western-hemisphere-for-35-years-1.13565

    -so it can climb, but can it crawl menacingly through ventilation ducts?
    And, if we breed a bigger version and introduce it to Australia, will it qualify as a jump bear?

    “first day at school”
    As somebody motivated by schadenfreude, I love this day! (In fact I would gladly cut off the branch I sit on just to hurt people, Republican-style)

  173. Portia, oblivious says

    Hekuni Cat:

    Thanks for the hugs, hugs back!

    rq is just fine, she just needed to take some time away from Pharyngula for personal reasons.

  174. says

    OMFG I shouldn’t have taken Friday off *arrgh*

    I have to edit a colleague’s slide presentation, a colleague who doesn’t understand that copy-pasting bits from a bunch of other slide presentations completely fucks the formatting of the presentation. And now my supervisor wants these things done by 10 AM, which is pretty much impossible given I’ve got about 4 hours of work to finish in 2.5

  175. Portia, oblivious says

    I’m reading The Bonobo and the Atheist for a Humanist book club. The author sort of lost me with “Females are the nurturing species.” Ugh. Evidence: studies that show girls are more empathetic than boys. Really? Fucking really?

  176. The Mellow Monkey says

    I’ve clearly been reading too much troll garbage on here. I had a dream last night that I was being accused of lying about everything.

    Some of the weird accusations I can remember:

    “You don’t have any proof you volunteered for that campaign. Everybody knows campaign headquarters are close to the city government and you said it was on main street. Which is it?”

    “How can you prove that was your grandmother? Has there been a trustworthy witness watching since your mother was born? Maybe one of you was switched.”

    “Without DNA evidence, your sex is just hearsay.”

    It was deeply disturbing at the time, but is hilarious in retrospect. The Horde made an appearance at one point to offer support, but were all portrayed by random actors. I remember Portia was played by Sandra Oh and Caine was Mayim Bialik. I can’t remember who everyone else was. (One of you was Jesse Williams?) This is what happens when I take Nyquil before bed, I guess.

  177. Portia, oblivious says

    MM:

    I chuckled at your dream, though it sounds distressing in the moment. I like Sandra Oh :)

    Does anyone have any good resources (a la Captain Awkward) for dealing with a cheating SO in a monogamous relationship? Or rather, healing after the fact? BFF doesn’t seem to want to repair the relationship, but I’m feeling a little inadequate at helpful advice. : / (I searched CA but didn’t turn up anything on point).

  178. says

    Gay conversion therapy is being outlawed in New Jersey, for minors anyway. Now, if they would just outlaw it in Utah.

    Gov. Chris Christie plans to sign a bill today barring licensed therapists from trying to convert gay minors into heterosexuals.

    New Jersey will be the second state to ban the treatment along with California. …

    In a signing note accompanying the bill obtained by The Associated Press that will be made public today, Christie says he believes people are born gay and homosexuality is not a sin. That view is inconsistent with his Catholic faith.

    The governor also says the health risks of trying to change a child’s sexual orientation identified by the American Psychological Association outweigh concerns over the government setting limits on parental choice.

  179. Portia, oblivious says

    after the “The Body” ep, I needed a Buffy break (even though I didn’t even watch that ep) and I watched a few of Angel. I ♥ Cordelia, so I’m on board with it.

  180. birgerjohansson says

    Miscellaneous:
    Far from being harmless, the effects of bullying last long into adulthood http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-08-harmless-effects-bullying-adulthood.html

    Handaxe design reveals distinct Neanderthal cultures http://phys.org/news/2013-08-handaxe-reveals-distinct-neanderthal-cultures.html

    ‘Poisoning’ corrosion brings stainless magnesium closer http://phys.org/news/2013-08-poisoning-corrosion-stainless-magnesium-closer.html

    Experts describe ways to eliminate wasteful medical tests and procedures http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-08-experts-ways-medical-procedures.html

  181. says

    Here’s an appropriate theme song for some of the nasties posting on certain threads here of late. /www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPvE2Xxkwh4 In cast anyone is wondering, that is the Peter Baumann of Tangerine Dream fame. Unfortunately these days he runs some sort of New Age retreat in California.

  182. says

    I am going on a stabby rampage right now:

    I spent an hour and a half making the slides for the presentation look good. The information was solid, it was effectively put together, it made sense, and it looked professional. All the stuff is logically presented in an orderly fashion and in such a way that it looks stellar.

    Just got with my supervisor who wants me to use the old, shitty presentation. There’s no flow, it makes no sense, I don’t understand a good portion of the presentation, I can put it in the good presentation format fine, but it looks unprofessional and I don’t want to brief using that fucking presentation.

    Like seriously?! Do you even understand what the issue is with the previous one?

    I tried to explain the flow and everything that made my presentation better, but she said “well why don’t you keep your new presentation, brief with the [shitty – my insert] slides and see if next time you can use your new ones?”

    There won’t be a next time if I brief using the old shitty slides because I’ll look like a fucking fool and they’ll be confused and frustrated following the presentation.

  183. carlie says

    KevinKat -will he be in the room when you give the presentation? Can you do it your way anyway? It’s not like someone in the room will say “Wait, I think there were other slides of this somewhere”.

  184. says

    No she’s not likely to be in the room, but her position makes sense at least partially but it’s BS in the end anyway.

    She doesn’t want me to send the newer slides cause the person who approved the shitty draft slides didn’t see the new ones I made (which I only edited in marginal ways anyway and it’s fucking clear she didn’t read either slide presentation or she’d see that.)

    Problem is he’s not here right now and won’t be here until later in the afternoon. I need to send the edited slides to someone by noon today so I don’t have the chance to get the guy to review the edited slides before I have to send them.

  185. birgerjohansson says

    I just figured out a good application for those glasses where stuff gets projected: wear them during a Mormon sermon. You can watch Bruce Willis beating up baddies while the others fall asleep.
    A motion detector will alert you when the rest of the congregation is rising up.
    — — — — —
    Re. glossolalia/speaking in tongues.

    As professor Tarantoga (University of Krakow) demonstrated, glossolalia is really a dialect of Ixxtl, the language once spoken in western Atlantis.

    The content seems to be a listing of items and prices in a prehistoric mail-order catalog. The scientific consesus is that glossolalia is a relic of a failed experiment with magical viral advertising. References to Enlil & Son, Uruk, provides an upper age limit. Claims that this experiment is what caused the Final Atlantean Cataclysm remain unproven (see the rival Horse Apocalypse theory).

  186. Howard Bannister says

    Howard Bannister,

    I’m a volunteer too. Let me know the trick to getting them to shut up, I’d love to hear it. : p As it is, I’m told I’m excluded from calls (and situations I’m experienced in) because they “needed manpower”. Not to mention the myriad more subtle ways they express the ubiquitous idea that I am immutably inferior.

    /crankypants

    Sadly, the trick appears to have been having allies in the command structure who were a little younger and cared and could help. They were already there and prepared to take matters seriously when it became a problem.

    The effects of that policy over the last decade have been good, though. Several women have joined, and given no pushback from the dinosaurs, have gone on to become some of the strongest and most capable firefighters I know. (one has gone career, even)

    It’s almost as if systemic sexism is about keeping women from doing jobs they could do perfectly well without those artificial barriers.

  187. Portia, oblivious says

    I got the job offer, but the number is not what I expected. Now I’m all conflicted.

  188. Portia, oblivious says

    It’s almost as if systemic sexism is about keeping women from doing jobs they could do perfectly well without those artificial barriers.

    Yeah, almost like that :)

    I think having more women would help. One might rejoin, it looks like. She has a knack for giving unnecessary attitude, though, so we’ll see how well that goes.

    I think our officers have a grudging sense that in order to not be sued they have to do X, Y, and Z but they think that the artificial barriers are well-justified and, in fact, necessary. Like when I’m benched for being out of breath after heavy activity. Like that’s not human, it’s girlie. Like everyone wasn’t out of breath. Like I’m fragile, and not only that, I’m stupid and don’t know my own boundaries.

    ok, that turned ranty. Thanks for the commiseration. I’m glad your department seems to be so much more welcoming and supportive to women firefighters!

  189. Polistes, gold standard says

    Hi, everyone. I thought I’d leave Thunderdome and come over here instead.

    I have a question – Does anyone here practice Vipassana meditation (or any other form of meditation)? I’m curious about how the practice fits in atheism.

  190. Portia, oblivious says

    *hugs* for KevinKat.

    Polistes:
    Welcome.
    I’ve never done a particular kind of meditation, but really all it has to be is calming your thoughts or clearing your head or whatever. It doesn’t have to “fit into atheism” at all. And IIRC there are atheist Buddhists. Or Zen atheists, or something.

  191. nightshadequeen says

    Polistes

    Quick response because I’m running late (as always) and wanted to chime in a bit.

    Greta Christina writes a lot about secular meditation. I’ve tried it, but can’t get my brain to shut up long enough.

  192. Portia, oblivious says

    That is to say, I’ve meditated before, and that’s all it was to me. Nothing spiritual about it.

  193. Polistes, gold standard says

    Hi, Portia.

    Thanks. There’s a website for Secular Buddhism I’ve been looking at. I was just curious whether folks here had any experiences and insights they’d be willing to share (negative, neutral, positive, or ___?)

    ____________

    Disclosure: I used to post here a few years ago as “Bonnie” and “BMS” but then some life changes happened which caused me to curtail commenting.

  194. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    So, back from a 7 day 6 night rafting trip on the Colorado river through the grand canyon. 280 miles from lee’s Ferry to Lake Mead.

    Amazing trip. Great side hikes, beautiful scenery, waterfalls, slot canyons, education on all aspects of the canyon (flora, fauna, local native american history, history of river running, National Parks conservation politics, etc..). Food was good, rapids were exciting, perseid meteor shower was unreal, no light pollution. Great photo opportunities. Great people. I could go on.

    I’ll have a bunch of photos from the trip up as soon as i can go through the > 4k shots i took.

    We had one of the most Knowledgeable people I’ve ever had the pleasure to be around as our resident naturalist on the trip . Dr. Larry Stevens. There was not a question I had about flora, fauna, geology, environmental implications of the dam and introduced species, native populations and their history and (mis)treatment, political issues with the management of the canyon or really anything else that he didn’t have a detailed and far reaching answer for. Plus he was hilarious and a damn good river runner himself. (450 + trips down the river).

    If you have the means and the time and the tolerance for 7 days / 6 nights on the river with all the environmental aspects (105 f in the direct sunlight, 43 f water temperature and lots of shade in the deep canyon at points) it’s a trip worth doing.

  195. sonderval says

    @Polistes
    I’m an atheist and have frequently meditated, zen-style.
    I think there is no problem about that – meditation is to focus you on thre present moment and on yourself, so even if there are gods somewhere in the universe, unless they try to push you from your cushion, they are irrelevant for your meditation anyway.

    If you are interested, a nice (and fun) book on Zen (although highly dispiuted by some as being totally rubbish) is Brad Warner’s “Hardcore Zen”.

    Is there anything you expect from meditation (calming down, focusing, relaxing, solving all world mysteries…)?
    Because there is really not much to it if you just want to give it a try: Sit down on a big cushion or a folded blanket (if you can, in the Lotus or half-Lotus position) in front a a white wall and try to do nothing but sit upright and with not too much movement. That’s all, really.

    @all
    My first time here at the lounge [waving friendly in all directions].
    Anything I should do to join in? [Virtual box of sweets ready, just in case…]

  196. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Speaking of, does anyone have a good source for photos of Havasupai, Hualapai or Hopi pictographs / petroglyphs from the Grand Canyon area?

    So many searches keep coming up with infinitely irritating creationists misinterpreting and misusing them for their own nefarious reasons.

  197. Polistes, gold standard says

    @sonderval,

    Thank you very much! I’ll look into the book.

    What I’d like to get from meditation. Hmm. I’d really like for all the voices in my head – the extra people in the shower with me, the arguments from years ago I keep rehashing, etc. – to just wait over there –> for a bit so I can just not be irritable and angry. Not much. :)

    I sort of stumbled on this via Sam Harris and his essay “How to Meditate.” It got me interested in Vipassana, and in MBSR stuff.

  198. cicely says

    -so it can climb, but can it crawl menacingly through ventilation ducts?
    And, if we breed a bigger version and introduce it to Australia, will it qualify as a jump bear?

    At least as important: can we splice in some eerie, glow-in-the-dark capability? Or maybe some vigorous chromatophore action?
    Or both?
     
    (later)
     
    birgerjohansson, your Viral Marketing Theory for the Final Atlantean Cataclysm is interesting, but fails to take into consideration the evidence preserved (however imperfectly) in Greek myth, i.e., that Poseidon (who supposedly was given Atlantis as his portion of land, was reckoned as responsible for earthquakes, and was called the “tamer of Horses) for some reason decided to sink it with earthquakes. The Equine Apocalypse Theory obviously better accounts for the known facts in the case—though I will grant that Enlil, in his capacity as god of wind, could certainly be responsible for any glossolalic advertising program.

  199. Polistes, gold standard says

    @nightshadequeen,

    I just found and read Greta Christina’s posts on secular meditation as well! How long have you / did you try? From what I’m learning, it’s the practice at getting the voices to be quiet that is, well, the practice, at least for a while. When my MBSR instructor was guiding us in meditation, she would say something like, “Just notice the thought, no judging, and come back to the breath. Just notice.” Heh. Easy for her, right?

  200. says

    Republican Governors and state legislators have been systematically stripping funds and other means of support from public schools. After they’ve starved the system, they point to its failures. I think the endgame is to get rid of public schools and teachers unions entirely.

    One clear example, the Philadephia public school system, as detailed in this article:
    http://www.salon.com/2013/08/19/indescribably_insane”_philadelphias_public_school_nightmare/

    Excerpt below:

    Things have gotten so bad that at least one school has asked parents to chip in $613 per student just so they can open with adequate services, which, if it becomes the norm, effectively defeats the purpose of equitable public education, and is entirely unreasonable to expect from the city’s poorer neighborhoods.

    The needs of children are secondary, however, to a right-wing governor in Tom Corbett who remains fixated on breaking the district in order to crush the teachers union and divert money to unproven experiments like vouchers and privately run charters. If the city’s children are left uneducated and impoverished among the smoldering wreckage of a broken school system, so be it.

    To be clear, the schools are in crisis because the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania refuses to fund them adequately. The state Constitution mandates that the Legislature “provide for the maintenance and support of a thorough and efficient system of public education,” but that language appears to be considered some kind of sick joke at the state capital in Harrisburg. …

    Pennsylvania has the lowest severance tax of any state drilling for Marcellus shale gas, with plenty of room for an increase. The state had a modest surplus at the end of the last budget year. The governor has no trouble coming up with money to build new prisons…

    The pattern has become clear: defund the schools, precipitate a crisis and use that as an excuse to further attack the schools, pushing them closer and closer to a point of no return. …

    … the state sits on $45 million in federal money it refuses to disperse until the teachers agree to enormous salary cuts and rollback of other benefits …

    Leering over the whole mess is the controversial charter school movement, which siphons $675 million from district schools. The charter experiment has been a mixed bag, with some performing well, others proving mere vehicles for graft and corruption. Critics see them as a way to divert public money into politically connected private hands, and even more important, a way to break the teachers union because they aren’t bound by district collective bargaining rules…..

  201. sonderval says

    @Polistes
    If you are worried about voices in your head, rehashing old arguments etc., I think you need to be a bit careful: Meditation is very good in bringing suppressed things to the surface, so if you are already in an internal turmoil, it might perhaps become frightening. (I never experienced that myself, but I read about it – Warner also describes a situation like this.) If you have an instructor, that should help. On the long run, meditation will probably help, but there may be bad moments during the way.

  202. says

    Drive by.

    Thank you all who offered hugs and support, it’s appreciated. So is all the heavy lifting going on in the SkepticDoc thread! Absolutely fabulous. One word for monitors: ‘Johan’ has pulled the same re-hash shit in at least two prior threads. I’m sorry, but I’m still out, I just can’t handle another one of those threads yet. I’m doing better today, and am going to stick to more mental basket-weaving.

  203. Portia, oblivious says

    Rev: That trip sounds amazing, glad it was everything you hoped and more.

    Caine: Glad you can prioritize self care. *hugs*

  204. Polistes, gold standard says

    @sonderval,

    I appreciate the heads up. I didn’t have any issues with that in my MBSR class, fortunately. I’m researching meditation classes, or even a less-formal group, nearby. I’ve found a few and now my issue is scheduling.

  205. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    though I will grant that Enlil, in his capacity as god of wind, could certainly be responsible for any glossolalic advertising program.

    Presumably the god of WIND is responsible for peas and other legumes; his role in the Atlantean catastrophe remains suspicious.

  206. opposablethumbs says

    Ratlike hugs to Caine (I’m in awe, tbh).

    Just checked out this post from new ftb-er Alex Gabriel – one to bookmark for the Brits/everyone? Some familiar names, but lots I didn’t know (speaking as someone who is nul points all the way for knowing names). Have y’all seen it?

    freethoughtblogs.com/godlessness/2013/07/31/100-of-britain-and-irelands-secular-thinkers-you-should-know-about-who-arent-white-men/

  207. cicely says

    Presumably the god of WIND is responsible for peas and other legumes; his role in the Atlantean catastrophe remains suspicious.

    Oh, I’m not saying that Enlil’s hands (and other body parts) are entirely clean in this case—just that primary responsibility obviously attaches to the Lord of Earthquakes and Horses.

  208. Portia, oblivious says

    I’m getting so anxious about the details of the job and how radically it will change my life, I’m getting anxiety chest pains. Gah.

  209. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Right Wing Haikus

    sample

    Patriots:
    We are patriots!
    Liberals hate our freedom!
    Take away their rights!

    Jesus:
    All life is precious
    Jesus said. Next week we cheer
    Lethal injection

  210. believerskeptic says

    What fun!

    Kenyan socialist.
    Secret muslim. Where is the
    Birth certificate?

    Selfishness is good,
    And altruism is bad.
    Ayn Rand told me so.

    Hillary Clinton.
    She lied about Benghazi.
    Will win anyway.

    Poor, hungry children.
    What is the best solution?
    Take away food stamps.

    Dumbass Rick Perry.
    With record executions,
    Gets investigated.

    Anthony Weiner.
    Harassing women with dick.
    Might still win it yet.

    Tony Scalia.
    First amendment just applies
    To Christians like us.

  211. nightshadequeen says

    Carlie, broboxley

    Evidence for light therapy.

    Not nil, but not really great either.

    Nutmeg

    So growth lights are a different thing from SAD lights?

    Roughly put, they serve the same purpose – to replace sunlight in areas/times when sunlight is scarce.

    I’ve only made vague inquiries into the subject myself [before I got rediagnosed as bipolar] but I rather like the idea of growth lights instead for two reasons:

    1. I’m lazy. Remembering to sit in front of a light for 30 min a day is something I can easily fail at doing. Replacing all the lights around me with growth lights would ensure that I’d get at least 30 min of illumination of with full spectrum lights daily without having to remember something

    2. The lights are properly positioned above ones line of sight. [Most SAD lights are not well designed for such placement]

    Azkyroth

    Glass is a pretty inefficient transmitter of most of the UV range, but I don’t recall exactly what the transmission range is.

    According to this not particularly trustworthy source, it appears that glass blocks UV-B and UV-C but not UV-A.

    carlie

    I hate brewed coffee, but I can eat chocolate-covered coffee beans like they’re going out of style. I don’t know what that’s about.

    Oh, mine aren’t covered in chocolate, and are meant for brewing, and I’ve been known to eat even ground coffee if the need arises :D

    [ Then again, I know people who’ve skipped straight to anhydrous caffeine :D ]

    Crudely Wrott

    Poor cicada :( seems like you took excellent care of it.

    Polistes

    How long have you / did you try? From what I’m learning, it’s the practice at getting the voices to be quiet that is, well, the practice, at least for a while.

    I’ve made several different attempts at different forms of meditations/mindfulness/DBT/whatever teh hell it’s called today, because I kept on getting told it was useful. Not particularly good at forming a practice of it, so more like a bunch of discontinuous attempts at different proctols.

    Vague conclusions, probably unhelpful:

    1. The pose: While it works for a lot of people, it just didn’t work for me. In fact, I pretty much got better success in any other pose, except yoga poses. Curled up in the fetal position under a blanket worked the best, followed by standing in high places with the wind in my face. Why? I have no bloody clue.

    2. Getting my head to shut up already is pretty much impossible. (Vague theory to why: This is how “racing thoughts” manifest in me. While my thoughts don’t seem to be going “too fast”, they won’t. stop. coming.) Shifting my focus to concentrate on something, anything, however, is doable without too many stray thoughts.

    When my MBSR instructor was guiding us in meditation, she would say something like, “Just notice the thought, no judging, and come back to the breath. Just notice.” Heh. Easy for her, right?

    Yeah….I’ve long joked that my brain was just dual-core to start with, and trying to focus on single thoughts…wasn’t going to happen.

    Portia

    *hugs* if wanted

  212. says

    Portia
    *hugs*
    nightshadequeen

    According to this not particularly trustworthy source, it appears that glass blocks UV-B and UV-C but not UV-A.

    It definitely doesn’t block all UV, as I’ve gotten a nasty sunburn sitting by a window too long.

  213. Walton says

    [TW: torture.]

    Torture survivor families struggling with poverty in the UK

    A mother and five children between the ages of five and 19 from an African country joined their father recently after eight years of separation and uncertainty about whether they would ever see him again or know what happened to him. For more than six months the family was accommodated in one room without minimal cooking facilities and heating, insufficient beds and bedding and with no money either from benefits or emergency statutory payments on which to survive. The impact of this on the physical and mental health of the family as a whole and each of its members was devastating and of major concern to clinicians working with the family.

    The second example, also relates to housing issues but in it I will focus on the impact on the mental health of the father whose torture experiences were particularly extreme and both physically and mentally disabling. In their latest move this family (mother, father and two teenage girls) were placed in emergency accommodation in one basement room in a very low standard hotel. They had to sleep, wash and live without any privacy or attention to differing age appropriate needs. The mental health of all members (but the father’s particularly) deteriorated rapidly and significantly. He spent most of his time, day and night, outdoors. This triggered flashbacks related to his torture experience and caused him to feel that he was again being violated physically and mentally. It took the threat of a Judicial Review for their situation to be taken seriously.

  214. davehooke says

    Could anyone suggest a good entry level book on (or at least including) fallacies*? As entertaining as possible.

    Thanks.

    *Not a misspelling.

  215. Walton says

    [TW: rape, hyperskepticism, abuse in detention]

    This is how the British immigration system treats rape survivors.

    Fleeing for his life, Ibrahim turned to people traffickers and was smuggled into the UK. When he claimed asylum, the Home Office simply refused to believe a word he said. They decided he was lying about having been raped, and that no one had ever threatened to have him killed. The Home Office planned to send him back to Afghanistan the moment he turned 18.

    ====

    And this is how it treats pregnant women and young children.

    Samantha’s voice quivers with rage when she says these words. “It was hell. I can’t lie to you. I can’t lie.”

    She fled to England from Africa, where she says she was persecuted, tortured and arrested in her home country on the basis of her political opinions and her role in strike actions. Two policemen raped her and threatened to kill her, and her husband was murdered in front of her.

    By the time she’d been transferred to Serco-run Yarl’s Wood Immigration Removal Centre (IRC) she’d given birth to a child in Britain and was pregnant with another. And that’s what she wants to talk about: not the horrors she experienced in in her home country, not her ongoing appeal against deportation – just Yarl’s Wood.

    “My daughter, by that time 14 months old, had measles so I’d had to leave her with a relative while I went to the reporting office. They told me I was being taken to Yarl’s Wood. Then they brought her to me. She had wet Pampers, and no other clothes. They just dumped her in front of me.

    “There is no standard of care there. The food was so bad my daughter lost weight. The male staff would just burst into the room at four in the morning. She was terrified. The staff don’t care. They stick all the kids in a nursery: another child tried to strangle her. In the end my lawyer had to write to them about that.

    “It’s a dirty, filthy place. You never go outside. There are some bad people in there. My daughter and I were in our bedroom when a huge fight broke out. There was screaming, mothers being pulled apart from their children, people with bleeding noses. It spilled into our room and there were four or five men and women trying to restrain another woman: one of the men accidentally had his leg on top of my daughter in the scuffle. I was screaming: “You’ll kill her! They lied afterwards – they told the TV news crews it didn’t happen. I know what I saw.

    “I started to go mad in there. I honestly wanted to kill myself. If it hadn’t been for friends I’d made before going in I think I would have. It made me ill.”

  216. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    This is a haiku
    Except for the last line, with
    Too many syllab

  217. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    According to this not particularly trustworthy source, it appears that glass blocks UV-B and UV-C but not UV-A.

    Yeah, it’s hard to tell with the logarithmic scale but from page 3 that looks about right…

  218. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Thanks Lynna. We hiked up the lower part of Havasu canyon. Beautiful place. Trying to find a catalog of havasupai, hualapai and Hopi petroglyphs. Thinking if a new tattoo to commemorate the trip.

  219. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Cool. I’ve still not had a chance to process all my photos. Transferring them to the computer right now. All 4k of them.

  220. David Marjanović says

    O hai!

    It’s link-dump time ( = 2:15 in the morning)!

    Awesome, veeeeery long rant by Chomsky about the US, democracy, and media.

    What It’s Like to Grow Up in a Country That Doesn’t Hate Sex – wohl den Dänen und denen, denen die Dänen wohl sind.

    Julian Assange admires Ron & Rand Paul and Matt Drudge. Elsewhere he’s also rumored to be anti-choice like Ron Paul. *sigh* Looks like he got one thing right ever, and frankly bolsters the rape accusations.

    Obama continues the Bush policy of putting solar panels on the roof of the White House! “I expect Republicans to boycott the sun in protest.” :-)

  221. thunk: homesick and awaysick says

    ugh. still feel like crap. I’ve just randomly been breaking down and sobbing over the last few days, and it’s probably a combination of all the different life stresses I’m feeling right now. I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite like this before.

    and on top of that, i did only minimal college research this summer, so I’m stuck not knowing which schools to apply to, whether I’ll find them interesting or just spend most of my time cloistered at home (and doing the same things as right now and not getting anything out of them), or whether it really will be better off to go to a non-US university.

    (planned meteorology student here)

  222. chigau (Twoic) says

    I went to the gravatar site and everything looks normal.
    My gravatar seems to come and go so … I dunno.

    We’re going to have a thunderstorm in a little while.
    Arctic thunderstorms are weird.
    Two years ago, during 3D5K, lightening struck one of the satellite dishes.

  223. says

    thunk
    *hugs* and best wishes. If you do wind up at a West Coast uni, (well, NorthWest, anyway), I’d be happy to help as can on the getting out and socializing bit (not that I’m the best at that myself, but hey).

  224. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    It’s been a hard week. And as much as I’ve said to others here that sharing the travails of life, large and small, is a good thing I’ve been putting off writing about this.

    My mother has pancreatic cancer. She’s 83, this is the disease that will kill her. And I’m okay with that. My father died when I was 12 or 13. I found him on the couch, blue, not breathing, the paramedics said “Christ, he’s cold, how long has he been here?” I’ve known intimately the reality that life comes with a full stop at the end since before I became an adult.

    The truth is, I’ve been waiting for that call for years now. Her health has been pretty good considering her age. Her mental faculties have been fine, despite the odd slip here and there that everyone is prone to regardless of the number of spins round the sun. But old is old and even a cold can be serious with the wear and tear that a full life leaves.

    What I’m not okay with is that this form of cancer is painful. My mother, like myself, doesn’t respond well to opiates. There’s nothing I can do about this. I accept it while hating it. My hope is that when it comes time her old workmates at the hospital will just keep pushing morphine and be damned the consequences. At her age, with that disease, there’s unlikely to be a tox screen.

    What I’m not okay with, but have no choice but to endure, is the fact that I’m here in Australia and she’s on the other side of the world. We’re flat broke. Building a new house always entails extra costs and we paid for those on our personal credit.

    I realised the risks in moving so far away. I accept my responsibility for this failing but I hate it. And it means I lied to her. I told her the truth, that I didn’t have the money to come right now, but I also told her that I was working on it. In her drugged state she only heard the last part and I didn’t correct her.

    Ms Fishy has taken to asking me at random intervals if I’m okay. I am. I’m hurting and guilty but it is what it is. The acceptance of reality is not just for the joys and excitements of life, it’s also for the dark and scary. It’s the faint illumination that pushes back the shadows and let’s one see beyond the pain that threatens to shut out all else. I guard that guttering candle like my life depends on it.

    I’ll be okay. I made my choices and I can live with them. Everyone dies, even those I love, and I can live with that too. I just hope it’s over soon and she makes it through this without too much pain.

    Hugs to those who need them. Hugs back gratefully accepted. I shan’t be around much I suspect, not that I ever am really.

  225. carlie says

    Oh wait, here’s a whole pile for thunk, too. Are you a senior this year? You still have plenty of time. Did you graduate already? No problem, find a job of any kind and work for a year while you think about it. College isn’t going anywhere. It will be there when you’re ready for it.

  226. says

    I tell you, it is a sign from Gawd! The holy spirit is working his way through you computer screen. Cant you just see the miracles he performs? You have been touched, nay, chosen by the Splendiferous One. Only one of his most preeeeeecious disciples receives the gift of his touch. You shall now reap reward after reward (right after you send me a S.A.S.E. containing $25,000).

  227. says

    Re: Gravatar

    It could be something to do with loading order, where the page finishes loading, but the Gravatar service isn’t quite done, so you get nothing and then *pop!* avatar.

    Just a thought.

  228. cicely says

    *hugs* for FossilFishy. I’m so sorry about your mother. Wish there was something to be done….
     
    This is where I get very sarcastic when some fool barfs up the “Everything happens for a reason; god doesn’t give you more than you can take!” line of garbage. To me, it’s hard to find a better indication that there is No Such Entity.

  229. Portia, oblivious says

    FossilFishy –

    I’m crying for you. I’m so sorry, and you have all the hugs I can give.

  230. morgan says

    FossilFishy,

    I’m so, so sorry about your mother. I’ll tell you something that happened here, but I don’t expect it to apply to the rest of humanity. When my beloved father-in-law was dying of prostate cancer that had metastasized to the rest of his body, he had much the same problem. Opiates did not work well for him. But one thing helped a little. He loved classical music, and we would play Bach and such whenever he was awake. The music always calmed his breathing and his facial muscles relaxed.

    Be well. My best to your family.

  231. nightshadequeen says

    FossilFishy,

    *hugs* if wanted, I’m so sorry. Let us know if there’s anything we can do.

    thunk,

    *hugs* as well.

  232. Crudely Wrott says

    FossilFishy, my heart goes out to you, friend. I’m hoping that it is comforting in some measure for you to know that.

    I always wish that there were some way to make pain and loss flee from another who is feeling those things. It is such a woeful poverty that I cannot. I do the next best thing I know of, attempt to share in your sorrow that I might absorb a bit of the pain, to take it from you and thereby lessen your load. It seems a harmless illusion though it must have some power for I have felt it myself when sympathies and kind words helped me to endure.

    When my mother passed away gentle hearts, many of them right here in this virtual place, willingly took some of my pain upon themselves and helped to buoy up my heart when it was sinking. Though my mother is irretrievably gone from me, I gained something of great worth from the sharing and the kindness and now I pass that on to you.

    So, please, know that half a world away from you a little bit of your sorrow is being siphoned off and may you take what comfort you can in knowing that.

    We grieve, we share, we heal, we survive. Together.

  233. chigau (Twoic) says

    FossilFishy
    hugs for you and your family
    Echoing nightshadequeen, if there is anything we can do…

  234. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Thunk: I believe UC Davis has a meteorology program; I believe one of my introductory physics classmates was hoping to transfer into it. It’s a pretty good school generally, and…um, that’s all I know really. Sorry.

  235. says

    FossilFishy, hugs to you whether you feel fine, not fine, numb, or whatever your feelings are. From your comment it sounds like she has friends around her to help her. Can/would any of them be able to an advocate for her in the hospital, especially since you are so far away? While hospital workers, nurses and docs don’t under-serve their patients on purpose, sometimes they need a push to make things better.

  236. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Thank you all so much.

    carlie, Dalillama, Tony, cicely, WMDKitty, morgan, don’tpanic, nightshadequeen and Crudley. It helps to know that there are good folk about who care. I hope I didn’t miss anyone.

    morgan

    That’s a great suggestion morgan. I studied music in uni and wasn’t thinking to take a guitar, should I manage to scrape up the cash to get there. But now I will. I’ve forgotten the Bach that I knew but I can sit and play for hours in the vein.

    Crudley

    I have on occasion been accused of eloquence. Your 316 shows me how far I’ve to go. Thank you for that, deeply, truly.

    For those wishing to help, your kind words are all I ask at the moment. I may come begging, but I’m really, really reluctant to do so. It feels wrong to me, so wrong that I carefully didn’t ask. Wrong enough that I’m getting a little tense even mentioning it.

    I’m hoping that in the next few weeks (spring is poised down here) that the shop will come out of its winter funk and we’ll have enough to do this on our own. Much depends on the staging of the tumour(s), if it’s early there should be time. I’m expecting a call any moment now about that.

    I live in a small, little world. A tight little circle, deliberately made to shelter me from the vagaries of human interaction. Thank you all for pushing out those boundaries with your compassion. It helps beyond measure.

  237. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Thank you Dutchgirl.

    If she ends up staying at Lion’s Gate Hospital where she spent 20 or more years working she will be surrounded by people who know and care about her. These are people who have seen every kind of death imaginable and I have no doubt at all that they will do everything that they can to make her as comfortable as possible.

    I’m more worried about my brother who has power of attorney should she no longer be able to speak for herself. He’s a speaking-in-tongues, fundamentalist who believes she’s going to hell because she’s a new-agey Anglican. I’m worried that he will try and drag this out as long as he can to convince her to convert before it’s ‘too late’. I brought this concern up with her a year or so ago and she said she would talk to him about it. She has a ‘no extraordinary measures’ stipulation in place and she said that she’d make sure he understood to honour it.

  238. says

    Good morning
    Pelamun is still snoring on my couch and since i don’t feel particularly like cleaning the house, here I am ;)

    Fossil Fishy
    *big hugs*
    I hope they find ways to make your mum’s final time as pain-free as possible.

    Chigau
    You stole my Jellyfish!!!!!
    ;)

  239. opposablethumbs says

    Oh, FossilFishy I’m so, so sorry. That’s awful. I really feel for you – but glad that she has friends around who know how to deal with the hospital. I hope she gets properly looked after (and that your brother is not allowed to interfere). All my best hugs to you.
    .

    Hugs to thunk too – sounds like a double plus ungood patch right now, but is this your final year of school before going to uni? That will have its own challenges I expect, but it’ll be different!

    I hope you are able to find good (as in, good and right-for-you) places to which to apply.

  240. Parrowing says

    I’m so sorry, FossilFishy. *hugs*

    *

    Good luck, Portia, with the decision making. Would talking out the different ways in which the new job would impact your life help?

    *

    Welp, if everything goes right (meaning the weather), I will be in a hot-air balloon in 29 hours. It sounds really silly, but this is kind of a life dream of mine.

  241. sonderval says

    @Azkroyth, Dalillama, Schmott Guy
    Yes, glass should not absorb near-UV (UV-A). The reason that glass is transparent is that it has an energy gap, i.e. it cannot absorb photons if the photon energy is too small. Thus unless the material is very finely tuned, if it does not absorb violet light, it will not absorb near UV either. That’s also why you need to be careful when buying sunglasses: Make sure that they are 100% UV absorbing – otherwise the dimmed light will open your pupil wide and then the passing UV (which you cannot detect in any way) may burn your retina. [Stepping down from lecture podium, sorry, I’m a materials scientist…]

    @Tony, chigau
    Thanks for the welcome

    @FossilFishy
    I’m really sorry. Cancer sucks big time. I hope you find a way to make this as bearable as possible for you and your mother.

  242. Portia, oblivious says

    thunk:

    Here’s some *hugs* to add to your pile. I’m sorry things are so rough right now : (

    Parrowing:
    Thanks for asking, I’m not sure if it would help or not. But I might take you up on the listening offer later. One big change is, I’ll have room for a couch when I don’t have an office in my living room. My very first couch. I’ll be such a grown up! :) *hugs*

  243. says

    FossilFishy, I’m so sorry to hear that. My maternal grandfather died from complications after (supposedly successful) pancreatic cancer. Is there at least a way for you to be telepresent at the hospital, through Skype or similar means?

  244. says

    Another funny song by the same duo.

    “Whenever God closes a door, he opens a window.”

    “You realize that’s a smaller opening, right? Used to be able to walk out of the front door, now you have to [climb out of a window] and possibly fall five stories to your death. That is not an upgrade.”

  245. David Marjanović says

    *long hugs for FossilFishy*

    Pelamun is still snoring on my couch

    He spent most of the time at my place snoring, too. Politics is deeply exhausting!

  246. Portia, oblivious says

    Parrowing:

    I don’t think that’s silly at all, have a great time! Or, I suppose, I hope it was great if it’s already happened :)

  247. Portia, oblivious says

    Here’s a question Walton could probably answer. I got to thinking about “renouncing citizenship” because of the Ted Cruz brouhaha. If you renounce your citizenship, does a country actually take you off the rolls? Or are they like the Mormons and the Catholics, and just claim you as a member whether you like it or not?

  248. cicely says

    Giliell, in fairness to chigau, if I were going to steal jellyfish, yours would be the first into the cart.
    :)

    Welcome in, sonderval! Sorry I’m late; I didn’t see you sitting there.
    :D

  249. thunk: homesick and awaysick says

    Portia: depends on which. I think US will actually do it. In countries that have a great deal of useless bureaucracy and corruption, good luck.

    It’s still a very very bad idea if ya don’t already have another citizenship tho (most will prohibit it then)

    Also I’m feeling a bit better.

  250. Crudely Wrott says

    giliell, hello!
    (returns your earlier greeting) Thanks for noting my return and for thinking of me.

    That picture of the nautilus (from “You stole my jellyfish!!! link) is fantastic. Is the upper, inverted invertebrate a reflection on the surface of the water? If so, what still water it is!
    *wonders how deep*

  251. Walton says

    Here’s a question Walton could probably answer. I got to thinking about “renouncing citizenship” because of the Ted Cruz brouhaha. If you renounce your citizenship, does a country actually take you off the rolls? Or are they like the Mormons and the Catholics, and just claim you as a member whether you like it or not?

    To my knowledge, Canada, like the UK, has a formal procedure for renouncing citizenship. But you have to meet certain requirements: according to Citizenship and Immigration Services Canada, you must be a Canadian citizen, prove that you are or that you will become a citizen of a country other than Canada if your application to renounce is approved, not live in Canada, be at least 18 years old, not be a threat to Canada’s security or part of a pattern of criminal activity, and understand the significance of renouncing your Canadian citizenship.

    So you can renounce your citizenship, for example, if you are going to be naturalized as a citizen of a country that doesn’t permit dual nationality, or if (like Cruz) you have dual nationality by birth and simply don’t want your second nationality any more. What you cannot generally do is renounce your only nationality and make yourself stateless.

  252. Walton says

    The whole institution of nationality often feels like a modern-day remnant of feudalism. The idea that you owe a duty of allegiance to a particular nation-state because you were born on a particular territory or to particular parents, and that your civil rights and duties depend primarily on the status you acquired by birth. And that, if you try to move to a different arbitrarily-defined part of the Earth’s surface without begging its government for permission, you can be locked up, deprived of basic freedoms, and treated as a criminal. It’s so arbitrary, and I don’t understand why most people unquestioningly accept it.

  253. Crudely Wrott says

    I have a small request of the hive mind concerning a point of form wrt to nyms.

    Many folks have nyms that are all lower case letters and I lurch a bit grammatically when typing them as the first word in a sentence. My education and what I know of writing style says that a proper noun is always capitalized as is the first word of a sentence. That would make it elementary that a proper noun at the beginning of a sentence must be capitalized.

    Then it occurs to me that one who chooses a nym that lacks capitalization has a perfectly good reason for doing so and I should respect that and not make any assumptions concerning style.

    Would some of you care to weigh in, opinionate, speculate, declare personal preferences et cetera? It would go a long way to eliminating that lurch which sometimes actually causes me to lose my train of thought.

    All advice, opinions and individual preferences are welcome and appreciated. Oh, also; is bolding nyms the preferred form? I’d like to be consistent and thus appear as soffistimacated as possible, ya know?

    I’ll check back later for your responses. Right now I’ve got to warm up V’Ger and put on my chauffeur’s cap for a while.

    Thanks a bunch. =)

  254. carlie says

    I guess I’m one of those lower casers. I first typed it that way just as a typo – I didn’t hit the shift key hard enough. But then I looked at it and kind of liked that it seemed unassuming and friendly, so I left it that way. :) I don’t notice one way or the other whether people capitalize it or not, though.

  255. cicely says

    Crudely, being a very improper noun, I take a lower-case ‘c’. Or, approachinging it from the other direction, I, being of a considerably lesser degree of Evil than Horses, am undeserving of Capitalization.
    :D
     
    As far as bolding goes, I’m still searching for consistency of style, myself; but currently I’m test-driving them for situations where I am addressing a comment directly to a fellow Threadizen, for the benefit of the Scrolling Public. Anybody care to feed me back?

  256. cicely says

    Say it boldly,
    Say it loud;
    I’m Chaotic Neutral and
    I’m…gonna go see what’s on the other side of that door….

  257. says

    FUUUUUCCCCCKK!!!!! The fucking bank that the asshole governement contracted with to disburse unemployment funds says that they never got the fucking funds, and the fucking unemployment office is giving me a fucking busy signal again so I can’t ask them what the fuck, and we’ve been out of our fucking meds for a fucking week now, and L needs some money to pay his store account, and I’m at the end of my fucking rope with this bullshit

  258. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    Walton,
    On Nationalism–perhaps it has something to do with the fact that we are social animals. Dogs don’t question the pack into which they are born, nor bees the hive, nor ants the nest. There are ant colonies that span continents and fight to the death wherever they meet. Humans really aren’t that much smarter.

    The thing about having a “social” group is that it presupposes an “other”. In fact, it requires it.

  259. yazikus says

    Crudely Wrott
    I’m another lower-caser, but I don’t seem to mind when someone capitalizes my nym. Shortening it to ‘yaz’, without some indication that is what I prefer, however, tends to piss me off. It’s usually done by people disagreeing with me, and I find it hostile and condescending.

  260. yazikus says

    I’m at the end of my fucking rope with this bullshit

    I’m so sorry about this Dalillama, and wish I had something more useful to say. *Hugs* if you want them.

  261. cicely says

    Dalillama, FUUUUUCCCCCKK!!!!! indeed.
    I hesitate to ask but…how much do the meds cost?
    *peering anxiously out between fingers*

  262. says

    cicely
    Couple hundred bucks, unfortunately. Plus which, L needs another 70 to keep his shop open; there’s a couple people who are talking about making orders, but we won’t be able to process those if the shop is canceled, which happens tomorrow. If my two weeks of back pay had gone through, combined with what I was supposed to be getting this week, we might have been able to do both, but AFAICT, neither of these is the case.

  263. Portia, oblivious says

    Dalillama:
    Shitfuckdamn. :(

    Crudely:

    I’m usually too lazy to bold (see above for evidence). That’s all it is, is lazy. Boldness is done for convenience of reading, I think.

  264. Pteryxx says

    The fucking bank that the asshole governement contracted with to disburse unemployment funds says that they never got the fucking funds

    Dammit, when I saw “contract with Bank of America” I feared something like this would happen. Can someone put the Horde signal up for you, Dalillama? I’m restricted to snail-mail but if someone helps me out here I can chip in .. uh… a bit.

  265. says

    It’s actually USbank I realized, but same fucking difference, really. I hate to beg, but if anyone has any help to offer, it would be utterly welcome. We also have candies and such for sale with a rapid turnaround time…

  266. Portia, oblivious says

    Dalillama: I wish I could help more, I hope the Horde can come through.

    thunk and Walton:
    Thanks for the info. Makes sense that you can’t make yourself state-less. Doesn’t make sense that it’s such a big damn deal to have dual citizenship.

  267. cicely says

    Dalillama, I may be able to free up 15 or 20 bucks; won’t know until this evening. If I can, then you shall have them.

  268. yazikus says

    Dalillama, I just got back from my bank, I have a little I can send via snail mail, if that will help.

  269. David Marjanović says

    Link dump:

    Why the Gigantic, Decades-Long Drop in Black Youth Crime Threatens Major Interests
    (Interesting: the last thing that loads is a transparent picture [or something] that makes it impossible to copy the text. Refresh and be quick.)

    European forests near ‘carbon saturation point’

    New IPCC Report: Climatologists More Certain Global Warming Is Caused By Humans, Impacts Are Speeding Up… and we’ve almost surpassed the previously highest temperatures of the Holocene (some 7,000 years ago). By 2100, in any case, we will have: “Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change model projections for 2100 exceed the full distribution of Holocene temperature under all plausible greenhouse gas emission scenarios”, says this paper in Science.

    Screening Out the Introverts

  270. David Marjanović says

    In the ThinkProgress post, note what an insignificant blip the Medieval Warm Period is: yes, it exists – it was just warm enough to mock the people who think it was anywhere near as warm as now.

    The second-to-last paragraph of the paper:

    Our results indicate that global mean temperature for the decade 2000–2009 (34) has not yet exceeded the warmest temperatures of the early Holocene (5000 to 10,000 yr B.P.). These temperatures are, however, warmer than 82% of the Holocene distribution as represented by the Standard5×5 stack, or 72% after making plausible corrections for inherent smoothing of the high frequencies in the stack (6) (Fig. 3). In contrast, the decadal mean global temperature of the early 20th century (1900–1909) was cooler than >95% of the Holocene distribution under both the Standard5×5 and high-frequency corrected scenarios. Global temperature, therefore, has risen from near the coldest to the warmest levels of the Holocene within the past century, reversing the long-term cooling trend that began ~5000 yr B.P. Climate models project that temperatures are likely to exceed the full distribution of Holocene warmth by 2100 for all versions of the temperature stack (35) (Fig. 3), regardless of the greenhouse gas emission scenario considered (excluding the year 2000 constant composition scenario, which has already been exceeded). By 2100, global average temperatures will probably be 5 to 12 standard deviations above the Holocene temperature mean for the A1B scenario (35) based on our Standard5×5 plus high-frequency addition stack (Fig. 3).

  271. David Marjanović says

    Eh merdeuh.

    &u didn’t get parsed as /i, for some reason. :-)

    Our results indicate that global mean temperature for the decade 2000–2009 (34) has not yet exceeded the warmest temperatures of the early Holocene (5000 to 10,000 yr B.P.). These temperatures are, however, warmer than 82% of the Holocene distribution as represented by the Standard5×5 stack, or 72% after making plausible corrections for inherent smoothing of the high frequencies in the stack (6) (Fig. 3). In contrast, the decadal mean global temperature of the early 20th century (1900–1909) was cooler than >95% of the Holocene distribution under both the Standard5×5 and high-frequency corrected scenarios. Global temperature, therefore, has risen from near the coldest to the warmest levels of the Holocene within the past century, reversing the long-term cooling trend that began ~5000 yr B.P. Climate models project that temperatures are likely to exceed the full distribution of Holocene warmth by 2100 for all versions of the temperature stack (35) (Fig. 3), regardless of the greenhouse gas emission scenario considered (excluding the year 2000 constant composition scenario, which has already been exceeded). By 2100, global average temperatures will probably be 5 to 12 standard deviations above the Holocene temperature mean for the A1B scenario (35) based on our Standard5×5 plus high-frequency addition stack (Fig. 3).

  272. David Marjanović says

    I give up. This isn’t worth it. Only the reference numbers are in italics in the original.

  273. morgan says

    Crudely,

    I’m actually a bit of a grammar nazi (not capitalized for reasons) myself, but I don’t recall why I did not capitalize my nym. I couldn’t care less whether you capitalize it or not, it is just the illiterates out there who mangle proper language presentation because they don’t know any better that drive me to distraction.

  274. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Dalilama: give me a sense of the scope of the problem? How much of a difference would a couple hundred make?

  275. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Answers that. Need to read down. You guys have my email still, right? (If not, the first part of my nick, at the y or g, works).

  276. blf says

    I copy-paste the handles, so what you see is what they use, regardless of any language conventions. I try to remember to embolden when the comment is either directed to the individual, or I suspect the individual may have some useful input. (For an example of both in one comment, see @70, which also has an example of someone with a CamelCaseHandle.)

    I tend to treat a leading handle as a salutation (“Dear peasforbrains”), so the first following word is considered the start of the sentence and thus tends to be Capitalized unless there is some good reason for not doing so. (See @70 again for an example.)

  277. says

    Anyone who needs to contact me off the board, my email is blainedelancey at the googles, but any paypal donations should go to lysanderdominique at the googles, because at present they take an unconscionable amount of time to connect to my credit union. Thanks again to everyone who’s offered help or sympathy; it means a lot to me.

  278. nightshadequeen says

    Well, cast off one shawl, cast on another.

    …sometimes I wonder if I’m doing this being-twenty thing wrong. Oh well.

    Parrowing

    Welp, if everything goes right (meaning the weather), I will be in a hot-air balloon in 29 hours. It sounds really silly, but this is kind of a life dream of mine.

    Congratz :D

    KevinKat

    Time to go to my supervisor and tell her I respectfully disagreed with her position, that I sent the presentation that I fixed over to the PoCs, and both approved of it.

    Good luck!

    Crudely Wrott

    I prefer to bold names so they’re easily distinguishable, but sometimes I forget.

    And I don’t particularly care how one capitalizes my nym: nightshadequeen, Nightshadequeen, and NightShadeQueen are all acceptable.

    Dalillama

    Oh, wow, *hugs* if wanted. Best of luck.

  279. Portia, oblivious says

    Portia (and Portia’s Client): 1
    Asshole Abuser and his Asshole Attorney: 0

  280. Portia, oblivious says

    nightshadequeen:
    Pretty shawls! If knitting is doing your twenties wrong, that explains why I was given so much grief for bringing it to school in my teens for the down time.

    Dalillama:
    I have everything crossed for you. *hugs* And thanks :)

  281. David Marjanović says

    Charly: best resource I’ve seen on the actual autistic experience is, oddly enough, here.

    …That one is stunningly good. I’ll forward it to my mom!

    Perhaps I’m biased because it mentions a few traits that I have but didn’t know they’ve been associated with the autism spectrum…

  282. Nutmeg says

    Threadrupt, but hoping to catch up soon.

    Just popping in to tell you all that my thesis defense went very well! I am finishing off revisions and getting ready to spend tomorrow jumping through hoops at the university. In less than 48 hours, I will be officially done!

  283. says

    FossilFishy, I’m so very sorry. Hugs if you want them.

    Dalillama, fingers and toes crossed and good vibes for L, for you and for your job interview. Hugs for you too.

    In fact, hugs for anyone who wants ’em, I got a basket full right here and handy.

    Crudely Wrott, as regards capitalization, I’m easy either way. I log in through Google, and I set up there in lower case because it’s easier to remember that way. I don’t care, as long as you spell my name right.

  284. says

    And looking at my post, it looks like at some point the changes I made to my google profile (as opposed to the actual login) kicked in. So capitalize away!

  285. says

    Nutmeg, YAY!!

    All
    The immediate crisis has been averted, and I was finally able to get through to UI and get things sorted out, although it will take until end of week for it to make a difference. Thank you all again for your support.

  286. says

    Conga-rats Portia on the legal win and good luck on the job choice.

    Nutmeg: Yeah on the done thesis defense (pops champagne … though I think the profs served vodka over lemon sorbet after mine) and good luck with the hoop jumping.

    Crudely Wrott: Laziness is why I was dontpanic (smooshed together, sans apostrophe), now I’ve just grown accustom to it … kind’a like it. But I won’t be offended if anyone add spaces, changes capitalization or adds the ‘.

    Dalillama. Yeah for lack of immediate crisis. Though, would some extra capital help for smoothing out future rough spots? I’d like to send you some $, but I consider Paypal an evil that I’d prefer to avoid (besides, despite or perhaps because of, having been deeply embedded in the world of computing, I’m something of a luddite). I’m definitely privileged enough that I can “pay it forward” some. Heck, the support group here is cheaper than therapy so why not. I’ll send e-mail.

  287. Portia, oblivious says

    So I’ve gotten roped into a marathon relay. I claimed the shortest leg of the relay, but I’m still nervous. Oh well, one way or another I’ll have an accomplishment under my belt, even if I have to walk some.

  288. Crudely Wrott says

    Dalillama, I predict that the Horde will come through for you and L. At least enough for a bit of wiggle/breathing room.

    Be of good cheer!
    ____________

    Nutmeg, Way. To. Go. You can haz treet naow.
    (looks around for thumbs-up emotithingy, finds none close to hand, gives thumbs up to preview screen)

  289. Ogvorbis: Purveyor of Mediocre Humours! says

    Hello folks. I’m back.

    Worked as security manager for the Salmon Spike camp on the Butler fire. When I showed up, I was spiked out (a spike camp is a primitive camp — no kitchen, no laundry, no showers, usually less than 100 people) to a place called Nordheimer Flat Campground which is about 4 miles down the Salmon River from a town called Forks of Salmon. When I got there, there were already 250 people at the camp. We were eating MREs (bleah!!!!) and got some food via hot cans — plastic buckets, wrapped in insulation, delivered to the remote location. The problem was, the road between where we were and the main camp (via Some’s Bar and Orleans) was closed by landslides (when you have a fire on a steep mountain, BFRs (Big Rocks) tend to come crashing down because of the heating expansion) and it was a five-hour drive to get into our area via Scott’s Bar, Fort Jones and Etna (and that route went through yet another forest fire that had trees burning next to the road (and BFRs coming down). I got there on Monday at around 5pm and immediately staffed a road block (the two security 2 that I had with me became night shift).

    On Tuesday, we evacuated the Nordheimer Spike camp and moved 4 miles up the road to the elementary school in Forks of Salmon. I got two more SEC2 who could take the day shift and handled the briefings and paperwork as a Security Manager. I also helped serve meals, helped serve the hot can food, and worked in supply (I think I handled about 10 miles of 1-inch and 1.5 inch fire hose).

    A week later, we got a shower — 4 men’s showers, 4 women’s showers for, by that time, about 400 people. On day 11 we finally got a kitchen. We dealt with road closures, evacuation plans, and had incredible light shows as the ridge across the river from the school went up in flames — 150 foot trees crowning all night. Beautiful. The smoke was bad — up to 500ppm of smoke particles. But, on the plus side, the smoke kept the heat down to around 90F.

    I did spend Sunday night in a hotel. I took a shower, went to eat at Lost Coast Brewery in Eureka, came back, took a long bath, went out and smoked a cigar, and then took another shower, repacked everything (how the hell does it all fit easily on the trip out and then not fit on the trip back?) and sacked out. Luckily, a 10:19am flight.

    I came home yesterday — Arcata/Eureka to San Francisco to Chicago O’Hare to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton.

    I am tired but, because of already scheduled vacation time, I do not go back to work until next week Wednesday.

  290. says

    Dalillama:
    I really hope you get the job
    ****

    Nutmeg:
    Sweet. Good news indeed!
    Whatcha gonna do 49 hours from now?

    ****

    Related to the nym question…
    What are you folks’ opinions on not typing out the full nym?
    For instance, I do not mind when people just type ‘Tony’, rather than the entire nym. However, when I respond to people, it is usually their full nym. For instance, I always type ‘Crudely Wrott’ or ‘Gregory Greenwood’ rather than ‘Crudely’ or ‘Gregory’. However, with those who have a phrase as part of their nym, such as ‘Caine’, I omit the post nym phrase.
    Either way, I try to make sure I spell peoples’ nyms right.

  291. Ogvorbis: Purveyor of Mediocre Humours! says

    Tony:

    Not to worry. I had seven pairs of underwear, seven t-shirts, seven pairs of socks, three uniform shirts, two pair of nomex trousers and two nomex shirts (the nomex gets traded in at supply when it gets too funky) and we had ‘showers-in-a-box’ — picture a wet wipe measuring 16 inches square.

    And sweat plus wood smoke really does smell like smoked Gouda or smoked Cheddar.

  292. says

    Ogvorbis … ah, I may never eat smoked Gouda or smoked Cheddar again — and I like those kinds of cheeses. Glad things went reasonably well and that you’re back safe and sound.

  293. Crudely Wrott says

    Because it seems apropos and because Dalillama:

    Over at Dispatches is this: https://proxy.freethought.online/dispatches/2013/08/20/another-religious-charity-turns-away-atheists/

    In the comments I especially noted #’s 3, 8 and 9.

    Charity and good works don’t come from outside of people. They come from inside of people. Some people would argue that people cannot be charitable or be good neighbors without being told to. Or badgered into doing so. (sigh) That is not so and is daily demonstrated.

    It is essentially impossible to feel poorly after helping someone else. The reward is even better when one acts charitably for no more complicated reason than that it suddenly occurs to them that they actually can do so.
    Just like that, out of the blue.
    Damn.
    Who would have ever imagined such a thing? ;^>

  294. Ogvorbis: Purveyor of Mediocre Humours! says

    carlie:

    Right back atcha.

    dontpanic:

    nah, keep enjoying the cheeses (just watch out for the penguin).

    The assignment was fun but tiring. I worked (including travel) 242.5 hours in 16 days. Eighty-eight of that was normal time. The rest was overtime. I basically worked six weeks worth of work in 16 days.

    I’m heading off to bed to snuggle in goats and be with Wife.

  295. Crudely Wrott says

    Hello, Ogvorbis! Thanks for getting back unsinged!

    Will you be going back on the line?

  296. Ogvorbis: Purveyor of Mediocre Humours! says

    Crudely Wrott:

    If I do, it’ll be after Labour Day. G’night, all.

  297. says

    Oggie
    Welcome back! *hugs*

    Crudely Wrott

    Dalillama, I predict that the Horde will come through for you and L. At least enough for a bit of wiggle/breathing room.

    This has already happened, in fact.

  298. Crudely Wrott says

    This has already happened, in fact.

    See that?

    The overall global* quotient of inner value as expressed in terms of a very fine feeling deep down inside has just spiked appreciably.

    *not to be considered a limiting sphere of influence

  299. Portia, oblivious says

    Tony:

    I use full nym but not postnym as a general rule. Crudely falls under a subsection of my rule because he expressed feeling awkward at being addressed by first nym and surnym on the regular. :) So I call him Crudely.

    I personally feel awkward when people use whatever postnym I have at the moment. Mainly because it’s usually something silly so it’s both absurdly silly and awkwardly stiff to be addressed as “Portia, Something Something Pictionary Shoop-Defeater” or whatever :)

  300. cicely says

    Portia (and Portia’s Client): 1
    Asshole Abuser and his Asshole Attorney: 0

    *champagne&truffles*

    Dalillama, that’s awesome news! I’ll order in some extra fingers to cross on your behalf.
    :)
     
    (later)
    I’m glad they’ve got the problem sorted, but I still want the Thing.

    Just popping in to tell you all that my thesis defense went very well! I am finishing off revisions and getting ready to spend tomorrow jumping through hoops at the university. In less than 48 hours, I will be officially done!

    WTG, Nutmeg!
    *sends out for additional supplies of champagne&truffles; adds cheese platter (and penguin repellent)*

    Ogvorbis!!!
    *dumps saved-up hugs*
    Welcome home!
    G’night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the Horses bite.
    (…with Their great, huge tombstone teeth….)

    It is essentially impossible to feel poorly after helping someone else.

    This.
    As is so often the case, Crudely, you have captured the essence.

    Another school shooting. No injuries thankfully.
     
    Oklahoma teens shot and killed a man because they were bored.

    :( :( :(

    chigau!
    *pouncehug*
    Also Welcome Home; also also, Beware of the Horses.

  301. nightshadequeen says

    I hate phone hold services. Goddammit, just let me leave a message and call me back, will ya?

  302. says

    Nightshadequeen:
    I’m with you on that.

    ****
    Pet Peeve Time-
    1- automated messages. When you call someone’s phone and they do not answer, why do you have to listen to stupid auto messages telling you how to do what you already know? Why not “leave a message after the tone”? I know a few of them do, but many are “the number you have reached 999-999-8888 is unavailable. If you would like to leave a voice message, please do so after the tone.”

    2- shopping carts (a)- I dislike trying to find a parking spot only to discover a cart or three in the way. This happens almost always at WalMart*, which is silly since they have those cart return cages in multiple spots. It is so inconsiderate of others.
    *to the best of my recall, I have not seen this at Target, Publix, WinnDixie, or Food World

    shopping carts (b)- I do not shop at WalMart if I do not have to, but at times it is unavoidable. Given the amount of money behind WalMart, why can they not FIX THE DAMN WHEELS ON THE CARTS?

    I am sure I am the only person here with pet peeves and all you wonderful, cool, insightful people—no cicely and blf, peas and horses do not count as pet peeves–have none.

  303. chigau (Twoic) says

    I think the power cord for my iPad is in the Yellowknife airport.

    Oggie, I’m glad you’re back safe.

    I usually don’t use ‘nym extensions for people I know but I copypaste anything more complicated than ‘Tony’ (for example).
    My ‘nym is lower case because dunno. I don’t object to upper case.

    I’m going to be doing laundry for a couple of days.
    —-
    hugs for all

  304. says

    Tony

    I dislike trying to find a parking spot only to discover a cart or three in the way. This happens almost always at WalMart*, which is silly since they have those cart return cages in multiple spots. It is so inconsiderate of others.

    Seconding this. Not so much with the “trying to park”, but random shopping carts? Fuck that! ‘Course, you’re gonna have some rabid mombie* whinging about how it’s “too haaaaaard” to put the cart back because “I’m a paaaaarent.” Followed quickly by, “You don’t have kids, you can’t understaaaaand.”

    I don’t gotta have kids to be able to understand basic fucking manners. You get something out, you put it away when you’re done — didn’t we all learn that in Kindy?
     
     
     
     
    *A certain class of Mother, being so obsessed with her spawn that she becomes a zombie-like slave to it. Often found attempting to spread “baby-rabies” with phrases like “you don’t know love until you’ve had a baby.” They have been observed in all populated areas.

  305. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    I know a few of them do, but many are “the number you have reached 999-999-8888 is unavailable. If you would like to leave a voice message, please do so after the tone.”

    Presumably this helps in case you have a wrong number?

    Meh. I hate voicemail to begin with, mostly because mine is always full of worthless “Hi [Azzy], I’m trying to get ahold of you, please call me back, bye” which the freaking missed call notification already conveys… >.>

  306. says

    Tony

    Yeah, they learned that from watching Mommy never put the cart back.

    Every time I see this happen, I’m thinking, “your kid isn’t going to keel over dead in the 15 seconds it takes to walk the cart back.” (Or, when it’s a mother with a whole freakin’ pack of kids, “Why not send one of your kids to put the cart back?”)

    Shit, at least pass it off to someone heading in to the store so they can use it!

  307. Crudely Wrott says

    There isn’t much to be done about carts left carelessly. Except to not do that .

    Little difference for the one . . .

    Maybe the WalMart that I go to is different. I really haven’t been to more than a half a dozen of them more than once. Maybe twenty five in all? Just guessing here.

    Time of day, weather, day of week, impending holidays always put the test to parking lots and the free flow of cars and consumers. Add in the various sales, promotions, opening and closing discounts and I can come up with a rough algorithm for timing my shopping trips.
    Best bet? Any workday between 2:30 and 3:45 in the afternoon. Minimum carts, both in the return stalls and flagrantly abandoned. Largest number of carts in the vestibule.

    Now is Test Drive. I push the rejects to the side in hopes that someone will come to look at them and fix them as needed. I also hope that all the tectonic plates would simultaneously flip slap over and everybody could scurry up the edges and come out on top.

    I’m picky and I’m not going to push a cart that doesn’t suit my notion of a shopping cart. My needs are modest. A box on wheels that will hold my stuff while going easily from stuff to stuff and doing so quietly. Shopping is made nearly tolerable with such a cart in hand and somewhere, in that foremost rank of wire boxes on wheels is the one I want. It’s calling to me.

    If I didn’t have to shop I wouldn’t. If I have to shop, I Test Drive. It’s a moving experience.

  308. Lofty says

    Re: drunk shopping carts, I sometimes game them to see what angle they need pushing at to run them straight with one hand. You get strange looks when pushing a crabbing trolley at 45 degrees.

  309. says

    Crudley

    There isn’t much to be done about carts left carelessly. Except to not do that .

    I have seen places that have a slot that you need to put a coin in to remove a cart from a stack, and you get it back when the cart is back. The downside, of course, is you need to have a coin of the right denomination on you to get a cart.
    Tony

    shopping carts (b)- I do not shop at WalMart if I do not have to, but at times it is unavoidable. Given the amount of money behind WalMart, why can they not FIX THE DAMN WHEELS ON THE CARTS?

    That’s the reason why the Waltons (and others who may be big shareholders) have to much money: they cut every single corner they can and skim the difference as profit. The same applies elsewhere, to a greater or lesser extent (Safeway can’t screw the workers over quite as hard as the Waltons do because they’re union, for instance.)

    Chigau

    I think the power cord for my iPad is in the Yellowknife airport.

    If you mean that literally and not just ‘somewhere remote,’ I can email my cousin and ask him to go pick it up for you.

  310. bluentx says

    threadrupt but have to comment:
    FossilFishy :
    My dad died (weeks short of his 93 b-day, 10/01) due to pancreatic cancer. My thoughts are with you– big time!

    To this day I do not know if I ‘overdosed’ him and hastened his death. Hospice authorized me (his daily caretaker) to increase his morphine dosage (he seemed to be in increasing pain while unconscious) but in less than 48 hours of the increase, he was dead.
    On the one hand, he was terminal (and inoperable) and in constant pain, but I still have doubts about my involvement. Did I give him too much (though prescribed), could I have done more for him in his last days (months, years)?

    I don’t know if my reasoning here makes any sense but FF try not to beat yourself too much about being too far away. Even purposefully being close (I moved from Austin to be close in my Dad in his elder years) didn’t eliminate my self-questioning.

    Just try to be as supportive and ‘in contact’ as you can. Your Mom may not be (always) coherent enough to fully appreciate you contribution but you can only do so much– near or far– in such a situation.

    *HUGS* HUGS* HUGS* (Not asking your permission- you get ’em no matter what! ;)))

  311. blf says

    FIX THE DAMN WHEELS ON THE CARTS

    If the wheels are fixed instead of rotating, then the you’d have to slide the cart along. Not a bad idea! That ought to increase people’s level / amount of exercise. It could also be incentive to buy less things (an attractive idea for several reasons, e.g., environmental impact) to keep the weight down, making the sliding cart easier to push / pull. And it would teach a bit of physics!

    no cicely and blf, peas and horses do not count as pet peeves

    Of course not. Peas are not pets. Peas are not peeves. Peas are vicious tasteless monsters. Small green Daleks that roll around even more uncontrollably than wheeled carts. Horses are four-legged equivalents of wheeled carts full of snarling peas. Peas and horses are the enemy. Along with celery.

  312. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Thank you bluentx, and I’m sorry to hear about your dad. I’m not alone in this, that makes a big difference. And a big thank you everyone else too.

    She’s had a stent and drain put in that should help with the immediate symptoms. Prognosis is for 3 months which is doctor speak for “We don’t really know.” because that’s the median survival rate.

    I’m having the oddest back and forths with my emotions. One minute I’m sad but okay, completely accepting the reality of the situation and my lack of ability to do more, and the next I’m crying and hating myself. Mind you, it’s more the former so I’m getting by okay. Besides, I shouldn’t be surprised. After my dad died I had very similar swings, with the added joy of third and fourth components where I would feel glad the miserable, alcoholic bastard was dead and then feeling guilty about that. Tonight will be difficult though. Ms. Fishy and the Small Fry are away for the next week. I’m planning on watching as much mind numbing TV as I can dredge up and not thinking really, really hard.

    And on to lighter things:

    chigau

    Drop by the nearest big hotel and tell the front desk clerk that you stayed there a couple of weeks ago and you think you left your cord behind. They will open the big drawer full to bursting with those sort of things and hand you one, most likely with no questions asked. Think of it as keeping one more cord out of the landfill.

  313. says

    Shopping carts: young sprog wasn’t very good about unloading the cart into the car, but it was his job to run the cart back to the corral. What small child wouldn’t like the racket of running one full speed into another in order to park them correctly. We took these opportunities to hop in the car, lock the doors and drive away while he was distracted. Okay, we only did it once†. … but once is sufficient because if they’re young enough they don’t know where they live and if you drive real fast no one catches your license plate numbers.

    No, seriously, unless you’re being mauled by a cougar there’s never an excuse for not putting the cart out of the way for the next person to come along.

    † okay, some of this might be partially fictional. I never exceeded the parking lot speed limit.

  314. chigau (Twoic) says

    never mind
    Thanks for the offers and advice.
    I found the power cord just before I put the load in the washing machine.

  315. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Shopping carts and kids are a fucking teaching moment. “No honey, go put the cart away so someone else can use it. You wouldn’t like it if there were none for you to use would you?” Besides, I *loved* pushing the thing along fast and then trying to ride it. I hated how far forward the bottom shelf was because it was really hard to put your feet on it. And as I typed that I realised that that design wasn’t accidental. Doh!

  316. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    To this day I do not know if I ‘overdosed’ him and hastened his death. Hospice authorized me (his daily caretaker) to increase his morphine dosage (he seemed to be in increasing pain while unconscious) but in less than 48 hours of the increase, he was dead.
    On the one hand, he was terminal (and inoperable) and in constant pain, but I still have doubts about my involvement. Did I give him too much (though prescribed), could I have done more for him in his last days (months, years)?

    Even if so, if he was in constant increasing pain and already terminal, maybe you did exactly what he needed?

  317. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    You’re doing better than me chigau. I’ve managed to wash the USB stick I use for off-site storage of the shop’s daily sales….twice. And hey presto, it still worked! Way to kill any incentive to pay attention anonymous electronics designer! ;)

  318. Hekuni Cat, MQG says

    Portia – *pouncehug* I’m sorry you are conflicted about the job offer; best of luck to you in making your decision. Also, congrats on acquiring new skills.

    KevinKat – I hope things went well with your supervisor. *hugs*

    Rev. BDC – I’m happy to hear you had such a great trip.

    Caine – *hugs and chocolate* Thank you so very much for all you do!

    thunk – *more hugs and chocolate* I hope things improve for you soon.

    Sonderval and Polistes – Welcome!

    FossilFishy – I’m so sorry about your mother. *many hugs and lots chocolate* Losing a parent is not an easy thing, even when you are on the same continent. If I can do anything to help, please let me know.

    Dalillama – I’m so sorry. I sent you an email. Good luck at your interview!

    Crudely Wrott – *pouncehug* Regarding nyms, I try to type them as the person uses them, but I sometimes shorten said nym when on friendly terms. I bold things I address to particular individuals so that they will be easier for them to see.

    Nutmeg – Congratulations!

    Ogvorbis – *pouncehug* I’m glad you’re back.

    cicely, chigau, and David M – *pouncehug*

    I live in hope of staying relative caught up on the thread, but it probably isn’t a very realistic goal. Good night, everyone.

  319. bluentx says

    Ogvorbis – *pouncehug* I’m glad you’re back.

    WHAATTT*? I am threadrupt !!!

    * Ogvorbis is baaaaak!!! [*Snoopy happy dance^– *Kermit ‘hand’- waving “Yaaaay”]

  320. bluentx says

    Azkyroth :

    Even if so, if he was in constant increasing pain and already terminal, maybe you did exactly what he needed?

    That’s the way I try to think of it…aleving* pain.

    * What is the proper spelling? Bing, spellcheck, etc. seems to be conflicted.

  321. bluentx says

    Angela Merkel laid a wreath at Dachau concentration camp on Tuesday, making her the first German chancellor to visit the death camp…

    Yeah… maybe a publicity/ campaign stunt but… the first chancellor since … my brother-in-law helped ‘liberate’ Dachau… 68 years ago ?! Really?

  322. says

    Good morning
    I hate bloodtest days. Given that I have to get the kids up and to kindergarten and schoolit means that I’m usually up for about 4 hours already before I finally make it to breakfast which makes it a close call with making it to fainting.
    But on the plus side #1 already has a friend in school who eagerly awaited her already this morning. She also decided yesterday that she wants to do the laces of her sneakers and just did it…

    Ogvorbis
    Glad you’re back

    Crudely
    Yes, one is the reflection of the other. Only I can’t remember which one is which either…

    Merkel and Dachau
    Well, Dachau is uncomfortable for German top politicians because it was one of the first ones and you kind of can’t go there without somehow acknowledging that the first people to b detained, tortured and murdered there were communists*, socialists and unionists.

    *Communists who suffered under the Nazis are not entitled to compensation unlike christians or unionists. They apparently deserved it.

    +++
    shopping carts
    In Europe you usually need a coin (many already accept several coins) to get one. Works fine. Mr.’s car even has special slots to keep your shopping cart coins or tokens…

    Oh and please, could we stop the mummy hating? It’s not like I’m not damn annoyed at some parents, too, but it’s pretty telling that the complaints are always about the evil mummies and never about the wonderful daddies who still dump the whole shit on the women.

  323. says

    Portia,

    If you renounce your citizenship, does a country actually take you off the rolls?

    Not always. I know some Dutch citizens are still considered Turkish by Turkey, because one of their parents was. And so their children will be, as well. Renouncing is impossible. Which creates a problem for the men (I’m sure there are other, equal opportunity problems as well, but this is the one most frequently brought up), since they’re expected to fulfil their conscription in Turkey. The only option is to buy their way out of it, or they’ll be arrested as soon as they set foot on Turkish soil.

    Walton,

    (…) if you try to move to a different arbitrarily-defined part of the Earth’s surface without begging its government for permission, you can be locked up, deprived of basic freedoms, and treated as a criminal. It’s so arbitrary, and I don’t understand why most people unquestioningly accept it.

    The weirdest and worst part of it is when a family, or people otherwise in a relationship, aren’t allowed to be together.
    If people are afraid of being overrun by another culture, if they’re afraid of losing they’re jobs to immigrants, I can at least understand where they’re coming from. But not allowing people who love each other to be together, not allowing a child to live with both their parents, that’s what I do not understand.

    Dalillama, that’s a shitty situation to be in. I’m glad it looks like it’s going to work out.

    NightShadeQueen, I looked at your other projects. Could you please explain how you made that Möbius Cowl? I just can’t wrap my head around it. Where do you begin when there is no begin?

    Yay! for Nutmeg!

    And yay! for the return of Ogvorbis and his fire stories.

    And yay! for Portia’s victory!

    Tony, do you know Retail Hell Underground? They have tons of pictures of shopping carts left in… curious ways. Oh, and Dalillama, coin operated shopping carts are the norm in The Netherlands. I hardly ever find a store without them. Stores make their own coins, which are somewhat collectible (search for pictures “winkelwagenmuntje”). Some carts even have wheel clamps that kick in when you leave the lot.

    And I agree with Giliell about the mummy hating. Just substitute ‘parent’ for ‘mummy’, okay folks? By the way, congratulations on the Mabus comment.

  324. opposablethumbs says

    Happy to see you home safe and sound, Ogvorbis!
    .
    Congratulations, Nutmeg – champagne and confettisparklersfireworks imminent!
    .
    All the hugs to Dalillama. Wish I could send something more substantial than hugs.
    .
    Congrats on the job front, Portia – both wrt to Asshole Abuser and his Asshole Attorney, and the possible acquisition of a sofa in your home depending on how you decide to go with that new avenue.
    .
    Tony, supermarkets in the UK overwhelmingly have a locking device on all supermarket trolleys (as shopping carts are more properly known ::adjusts monocle::) – you have to put in a coin of modest denomination to release it for use (£1 or 1 euro in some places) and you get your coin back when you return it to the line when you’re finished with it. It’s enough motivation for people to put them back in the designated locations, and seems to have pretty much completely eliminated the whole stray trolley problem.

    Oh, Giliell already explained. Never mind, I’m leaving it in. And I’ll add – some people carry around a trolley token of the same size and weight so as to be sure of not spending it by mistake and then not having one. I found one and used it for a while, but then I lost it again. I keep one coin in the opposite pocket of my jeans now, so I don’t mix it up with any other money and spend it without meaning to.

    oh, nyms …. I suppose I do quite like being opposablethumbs (as opposed to e.g. Opposable Thumbs) but mostly I’m just glad to be here at all, in any shape or form.
    .
    Many hugs and friendly salutations to the Horde.
    .
    It’s APPLICATIONS TIME for non-neurotypical spawn this year, to apply for what he wants to do after finishing secondary school … Oh, joy. Cue stress levels …

  325. carlie says

    I’ve managed to wash the USB stick I use for off-site storage of the shop’s daily sales….twice.

    So you’re money laundering, then?

  326. Portia, oblivious says

    opposablethumbs, Hekuni Cat, cicely: Thanks :)
    *slurps champagne, noms truffles* (What? It’s the breakfast of champions).

    Ogvorbis! Good to see you!

    I had other things to say but now…they’ve escaped me. *hugs* back to lots of folks and *hugs* here in a tidy little heaps for anyone who wants one.

  327. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    I hereby declare myself to be Somebody in the atheist movement. Not only did I get a comment from Mabus on my blog, he also addressed me as “PZ”.

    Congrats? I think.

    My blog and twitter account were useless the many times he decided to spam me.

    And I still never got my FINISHED

  328. believerskeptic says

    Believe it or not, despite what you may think, I really like this site and I like the people here for the most part. But I’ve been going through a severe depressive episode. I thought posting here would take my mind off my problems, but I find that it’s just making everything worse. I have twice seriously considered committing suicide this week. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow, and I’m just crawling to get there. Those of you who know enough disability theory, and know what spoons are, I’m out of them. Completely out.

    So I’m saying this without snark, without bile, just as plainly as I can. If someone actually tells you they have chronic clinical depression, he or she is the *last* person you want to keep pecking away at. It might make you feel really good to get that zinger in. But you have no idea who or what you’re dealing with on the other side. You don’t have to respond to *every* single comment that steps on your toes.

    I’m going to get some help, I hope. I may be back, or I might not. But if I never come back, please do try to take cults seriously. Thank you.

  329. Parrowing says

    So, once when I was 15 or 16, the Head Nun (principal) at school made an announcement that she might have a surprise for us later that day. She wouldn’t tell us what it was because she wasn’t certain it would work out and she didn’t want us to get our hopes up. Somehow we figured it out anyway- a hot-air balloon (yes, I went to a weird school)! We didn’t know how Sister Patricia was planning on getting us to the balloon or the balloon to us and we never did figure it out because it didn’t work out. She did later confirm the rumors.

    Last July, approximately 10 years after my first brush with a possible hot-air balloon ride, my husband surprised me with tickets for our one year anniversary. The tickets bought us a balloon ride and a champagne picnic. We called the company 2 1/2 hours before we were supposed to be there to check the weather status- balloon ride cancelled, due to possible rain. It didn’t end up raining that day.

    Due to living fairly far away from the company that does these balloon rides (they are in Stockholm and we are not) and due to them not running between September and May, our only option was to pay to extend our ticket and schedule the balloon ride for this summer. Today. So today, we called 2 1/2 hours before we were supposed to be there to check the weather status- balloon ride cancelled, due to wind. The wind is currently reported to be 9 mph (this is approximately when we would have been going up).

    *sigh* Maybe we’ll get to go on a hot-air balloon ride for our three year anniversary.

    In other news, we applied for an apartment with a company on the other side of the country. Right before we found out the balloon ride was cancelled, the apartment company called us to say our application has been accepted. Had we not gone to Stockholm for the balloon ride, we would be looking at apartments tomorrow. In any case, we’ll probably go looking on Monday. I’m so excited because I think we’re finally getting out of our little town. I hate living there; it’s really done a number on my self-esteem. My fingers, toes, arms, legs, etc. are all crossed now.

    *

    Portia, I’m here for listening whenever you want, Lounge or e-mail. Congratulations on the victory!

    *

    Congratulations to Nutmeg! That is so exciting! Good luck with the revising and hoop-jumping.

    *

    Welcome back, Ogvorbis!

  330. nightshadequeen says

    Portia, nutmeg

    Congratz to both of you! Job well done :D

    Dalillama

    The immediate crisis has been averted

    Yay!

    Tony

    shopping carts (b)- I do not shop at WalMart if I do not have to, but at times it is unavoidable. Given the amount of money behind WalMart, why can they not FIX THE DAMN WHEELS ON THE CARTS?

    But think of the shareholders!

    Azkyroth

    Meh. I hate voicemail to begin with, mostly because mine is always full of worthless “Hi [Azzy], I’m trying to get ahold of you, please call me back, bye” which the freaking missed call notification already conveys… >.>

    This is what Google Voice is good for – hilariously botched speech-to-text renditions of all my voicemail.

    —–

    I really like how Captain Awkward handled today’s letter. link tw: rapey bullshit

  331. Louis says

    Believerskeptic,

    I’ve been going through a severe depressive episode. I thought posting here would take my mind off my problems, but I find that it’s just making everything worse. I have twice seriously considered committing suicide this week.

    This being the internet, you could be fucking about or telling the truth, personally I err on the side of telling the truth in these instances, very strongly in fact. With that in mind:

    1) If engagement at Pharyngula is causing you, or part of a pattern of behaviour that is causing you, distress: STOP IMMEDIATELY! Do not continue here especially if it is causing suicidality of any kind.

    Any argument you are having here or point you are trying to make is secondary to your health.

    2) If you are expecting people to express some form of agreement or sympathy with you out of empathy with your state, and this is negatively impacting your mood, recognise this as the irrational thought it is. Challenge it, do not give into it.

    3) Take care of yourself. Seriously, part of that will be 1), distance from this activity that is hurting you. Part of that will be the standard care anyone trying to get themselves out of depression can attempt (potentially of course).

    I’m speaking from extensive personal and professional (well voluntary sector as well as professional) experience. None of this shit is worth your life, you have to take care of you, random strangers on the internet are largely incapable of it.

    Get better if at all possible and best of luck.

    Louis

  332. says

    Rev BigDumbChimp @284: Let us know when you create an online gallery of your Grand Canyon photos. Would love to see those.

    Like everyone else, I’m jealous. Your trip sounds great — direct experience and all that.

    Not sure what to say about Walton’s comments up-thread about torture of immigrants to the UK. Too awful to contemplate. Shuts my mind down.

  333. says

    David M. @290, I loved that article about growing up in a country that doesn’t hate sex. How very healthy those teens and young adults were! Also, how nice to grow up or even to visit a household headed by reasonable adults. Just wow. So different from my upbringing.

  334. cicely says

    And now, the stooopid gall bladder no longer likes Chinese food.
    :( :( :(
     
    No bread, limited cheese/bacon, now no sweet-and-sour chicken…if I end up having to give up chocolate as well, I am going to be cranky.
    And there will be plenty of that for everybody, let me tell you!

    The Farm Bill.

    Tony, much as I share your disgust with free-roaming shopping carts, I have to admit that a cart left carefully placed near (but not in) the handicapped spots is a convenience that my knees really appreciate; and that though the cart returns are many and clearly marked, they are also farther away from those handicapped spots than my knees are willing to carry me back to the car, unsupported. Selfish of me, I know….
    :(
     

    […] peas and horses do not count as pet peeves […]

    I would never make pets of either peas or Horses—which are always, always peaved, whether they are “mine” or not.

    I’m going to be doing laundry for a couple of days.

    chigau, I just suffered a flashback involving a van packed tightly with 3 peoples’-worth of laundry. The Laundry Day of Doom went on all day long—with 3 participants, and an immense number of quarters. Diverting a river would have been easier. Probably cheaper, too.

    bluentx!
    *pouncehug*

    Horses are four-legged equivalents of wheeled carts full of snarling peas.

    Sing it!
     
    (Only with more teeth.)
    (WRT Horses and peas. Sing with however many teeth make you the most comfortable.)

    *additional dedicated hug-pile* for FossilFishy.

    Hekuni Cat!
    *pouncehug volley*

    Giliell, you have my sympathies on the blood test thing. Unless mine are first thing in the morning, it’s gonna get ugly.

    Parrowing, *hugs* for the lack of hot air ballooning, *cheers* for the possible move. Tentacles crossed on your behalf.
    :)

  335. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Rev BigDumbChimp @284: Let us know when you create an online gallery of your Grand Canyon photos. Would love to see those.

    Like everyone else, I’m jealous. Your trip sounds great — direct experience and all that.

    I will. Lots of photos to go through and process. Will probably be sometime next week. Or later. ONly into the morning of Day 2 so far.

  336. Pteryxx says

    Ogvorbis is back! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    believerskeptic: Good on you for going to therapy, and good luck.

    Wow, Ellen Beth Wachs has seriously gone over to the other side, publicly rooting for Shermer on Twitter. That’s one bitter person.

    *headshake* I looked. Yes, she’s been falsely accused of a crime. That’s got exactly what to do with Shermer now?

    Various link stuff:

    Debut author pulls her book because of rape threats on Goodreads: Salon

    Detroit beset by wild dogs: Gawker citing Bloomberg

    Live-action Disney Princess song for equal pay: youtube link

  337. Nutmeg says

    My labmates just gave me 2 or 3 pounds of solid chocolate, in giant chunks, as a congratulations-gift.

    Best. Labmates. Ever.

  338. blf says

    I found the power cord just before I put the load in the washing machine.

    I get the impression you did not put the power cord in the washing machine. That means you will be feeding your laptop / tablet / mobile / whatever… dirty electrons. That will eventually gum up the innards, and might even cause the magic blue smoke to escape, or the electrons to spill out and flood the room. It’s important to periodically wash your power cords!

    And also remember to blow the dust out of the Internet and telephone cables…

  339. blf says

    Female students in Indonesia may be forced to undergo ‘virginity tests’:

    A plan to make female high school students undergo mandatory virginity tests has been met with outrage from activists, who argue that it discriminates against women and violates their human rights.

    Education chief Muhammad Rasyid, of Prabumulih district in south Sumatra put forward the idea, describing it as “an accurate way to protect children from prostitution and free sex”. …

    “This is for their own good,” Rasyid said. “Every woman has the right to virginity … we expect students not to commit negative acts.”

    The test would require female senior school students aged 16 to 19 to have their hymen examined every year until graduation. Boys, however, would undergo no investigation into whether they had had sex.

    Local and national MPs, activists, rights groups and even the local Islamic advisory council have all denounced Rasyid’s plan as potentially denying female students the universal right to education, in addition to targeting girls for an act that may not have even been consensual, such as sexual assault.

    Last year saw lawmakers propose a ban on miniskirts because “provocative clothing makes men do things”, while in the shariah-law province of Aceh, women have been ordered to sit side-saddle on motorbikes in order to better obscure the “curves of a woman’s body”.

    Protecting children from rape (a) Only if they are female; (b) By depriving them of an education if they have any sort of vaginal sex; (c) And no apparent plausible attempt / effort to investigate, then find, prosecute, and punish the rapist(s). There seems to be a few flaws here…

  340. says

    NightShadeQueen, the lightbulb went on when she started talking about the effect of adding another colour. That’s when I realized you’re knitting from the middle of the strip to the edge. Fascinating!
    Ever tried knitting a Klein bottle shaped hat?

    And also remember to blow the dust out of the Internet and telephone cables…

    blf, I remember a tech support story about that. Users apparently are always certain all cables are plugged in correctly and are reluctant to check. To blow the dust out of cables, they have to plug them in afterwards, hopefully correctly this time.

  341. Howard Bannister says

    Today’s SMBC is… really the opposite of the usual SMBC formula. Instead of dark humor wrapped around the worst possible reading of humanity it is… well… it’s moving.

    I enjoy the regular dark humor from SMBC. I enjoyed this more.

  342. blf says

    Users apparently are always certain all cables are plugged in correctly and are reluctant to check. To blow the dust out of cables, they have to plug them in afterwards, hopefully correctly this time.

    I vaguely recall hearing of that strategy. A friend of mine used to do a lot of technical support, and made two comments I particularly remember: “The users always lie. They say they checked something, or did or did not do something, but they are lying. You have to fool them into telling the truth.”

    And: “Just because Operating System X can access / use a device doesn’t mean Operating System Y can. All it means is the computer is not on fire.”

    I don’t do technical support, but I am often the last-chance R&D expert. So if the problem has gotten to me you fecking well better have a coherent and tolerably-detailed description. You have (usually) been interacting with the client / customer / user for awhile. So if, as an example, when someone tells me “It didn’t work” or something equally vague / useless, a typical reply is “What did this ‘it’ do? Go to the pub and have a beer?”

  343. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    I really like how Captain Awkward handled today’s letter. link tw: rapey bullshit

    I liked, somewhat less, the people who showed up in the comments to whine about how mean she was by making light of astrology. >.>

  344. says

    FossilFishy, when my mother was dying and in pain, (a months-long process, maybe even a year or more), I really wished that she could choose to just end the suffering by ordering a cocktail of kill-me-now drugs.

    Ogvorbis, my brother and I recently went on a well-timed expedition to Montana. When we returned home to Idaho, it was full of smoke. I thought of you and wondered if you were working some of the Idaho fires.
    I think this link will take you to my Facebook page that hosts a few pics from Montana:
    https://www.facebook.com/lynna.howard/media_set?set=a.10201670884484945.1073741825.1564532724&type=1

  345. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Vice visits San Diego Creationist museum

    Why are Christians completely incapable of making anything that children might enjoy? The picture above was the scene near the exit. That kid on the ground who’s being pulled up by his dad had tried to make a run for it, but was busted before he got to the door. Right after I took this, he was carried back inside, clawing at the walls the whole way while screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Poor guy.

  346. Pteryxx says

    Today’s SMBC is… really the opposite of the usual SMBC formula. Instead of dark humor wrapped around the worst possible reading of humanity it is… well… it’s moving.

    image link

  347. nightshadequeen says

    thunk

    One thing I managed to completely fuck up with regard to colleges and mental health: Figure out what Administration’s response to “I’m crazy” is going to be before going to them for help. Unfortunately, there’s plenty of schools who will put their suicide statistics first and you second.

    [ I got put on “voluntary medical leave” this semester because I didn’t figure out that you’re never supposed to tell MIT administration/Mental Health that you are/were suicidal. And “voluntary” means “you’re going on leave, you can pick whether it’s voluntary or involuntary”. This was very quickly followed by “Get the fuck off our campus, we’re rescinding your summer housing. You have two hours.” ]

    Yeah, it sucks, but it is what it is.

    believerskeptic

    Good for you for getting yourself help.

    As I mentioned upthread: Keep the suicide hotline for your country on your phone, in case you ever need it.

    Nutmeg

    Seems like you’ve got your labmates well trained.

    SQB

    Ever tried knitting a Klein bottle shaped hat?

    This I have not. Interesting.

  348. blf says

    Ever tried knitting a Klein bottle shaped hat?

    The mildly deranged penguin, who blows Klein bottle soap-bubbles and smoke rings, and throws Klien bottle shaped lasso loops (good for catching time traveling cheeses), insists it has to he the actual four-dimensional object, not the three-dimensional projection.

  349. says

    The idea of a knitted Klein bottle just popped into my head, and I thought the most fitting piece of clothing to be a hat. I didn’t check, but I was sure that somewhere, someone would’ve thought of it, actually made it, and posted about it. It’s an expansion of rule 34, actually.

  350. blf says

    a knitted Klein bottle just popped into my head

    Don’t those “needles” — spears, actually — used for knitting hurt ? Or did you get lucky and they poke out though your neck in a Frankenstein’s monster sortof way…

  351. blf says

    Silly? Moi ? No cheese for you then!

    If there are knitting spears sticking out of the ear-holes, where do you store your supplies of wax or hide Earrings of Power?

  352. cicely says

    The earwax is necessary for the polishing of the spear shafts, so the answer would be, smeared along them. Meanwhile, Earrings of Power are best served lobed.

  353. says

    Hekuni Cat
    I have not addressed your email, as it has not showed up in my inbox. Not ignoring you :)

    beleiverskeptic
    Take care of yourself.

    parrowing
    Best of luck finding a new place

    re:shopping carts
    The times that I saw the coin-op arrangement were indeed during my stay in France as a teenager.

  354. Ingdigo Jump says

    Sorry to whine here, but looking for some advice. I just seem to be sad or maybe even depressed so often all the time. and I just want it to stop and not feel this way anymore.

  355. cicely says

    Dalillama, I sent you an email that rebounded—but I cut-and-pasted it from your post @369. I am unqualified to have an opinion as to the nature of the Technical Difficulty involved, but hope that this doesn’t bode ill for my order. I put an identifying note in the Comments space—if you see no such thing at L’s shop, please let me know, so we can try again.

  356. nightshadequeen says

    Ingdigo Jump

    First of all, *hugs* if wanted.

    Secondly, being sad and depressed unfortunately can be the result of a large number of different things, from clinical depression to low iron levels. Please get yourself to a licensed medical practictioner, if you can. Depression is treatable. Low iron levels are treatable. Thyroid hormones out of whack? That’s treatable. Sitting at home doing nothing about this will not get you treatment.

  357. Crudely Wrott says

    I think you should be very careful putting on Klein Bottle hats. Very careful indeed. Something like that isn’t to be trifled with, you know.

    I’m worried that if I pulled it too hard when trying to cover up my ears that it wouldn’t come off again. That would mean I’d have to wriggle all the way inside of it, turn around in there and hope when I’ve wriggled back out I find myself in the same “outside” of the hat I just left.

    See, that’s the problem with these sort of things. You can’t reverse some translations; you have to complete them before you can reverse them. The ambihelical hexnut is the best example to visualize what I mean. (scroll down a little for picture)

    *waits while you go look . . .*

    What sets the ambihelical hexnut apart from your normal nuts is that it must be fully screwed on before it can be screwed off. That frightens me in a higher-dimensional-level way and I can’t get hold of the reason from here. Now that’s frustrating on top of knee knockin’ spooky!

    Klein Bottle hats? Yes, they are lovely and a remarkable bit of needle clacking but I don’t think I’d wear one. Definitely not on a cold, windy day!

  358. says

    Mormon Moment of Madness: sneakily avoiding taxes on supposedly for-profit enterprises. One example in Hawaii demonstrates how the LDS church operates:

    Among the many tourist attractions in the Hawaiian Islands is the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC) located on the north shore of Oahu next to the BYU-Hawaii campus. … The center has grown to become Hawaii’s number-one paid attraction, drawing nearly a million visitors a year” …

    According to a “San Diego Tribune” article…, “The center’s income is about $30 million a year, of which $25 million is exempt from federal income taxes. The center pays taxes on its gift-shop sales and a portion of the admission price for certain entertainment shows.” [figures from July, 1991 — higher now]

    A great portion of the employees at the PCC are Pacific island natives. The LDS Church recruits these young people to attend the nearby Brigham Young University-Hawaii campus. In turn, these students pay for their tuition by working at the center. Since many of these students are not American citizens, normal circumstances would demand that they have special permission from the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) to work in the US. However, a provision in the law allows a non-American student the ability to work if the student has on-campus employment. Since the LDS Church claims the Polynesian Cultural Center is part of their BYU-Hawaii campus, the students comply to those guidelines.

    According to the Tribune article, “Up to 70 percent of the center’s 1,000 employees are from the 2,000-student school. Most of them work part time as the cultural center as guides, cooks, gardeners, dancers, and musicians. They use their income to pay for tuition and living expenses. So, in effect, Hawaiian tourists, while learning about the islands and being entertained, are aiding the Mormon’s South Pacific missionary and education programs.” …

    http://www.mrm.org/pcc

    Same methods are used to run many mormon enterprises.

  359. Crudely Wrott says

    –errata #479–
    3rd para, 2nd sentence edited to read: “You just can’t stop and back up part way through some translations; . . .”

  360. Portia, oblivious says

    So I negotiated for a slightly higher salary and they said “We have a deal.” Now…it’s all real. I’m freaking out a little bit.

    Parrowing: Damnit! Stupid overcautious hot air balloon operators : / Hope it happens next year. (Next year is a pretty long time to make you wait :( Do they ever take anyone up on these balloons, or just take their money and reservation and say “Someday!”)

    Hope the move works out! That’d be great!

    Ingdigo Jump:
    I have no advice, but I have hugs and sympathy. Well, I guess my advice would be what’s already been said. If you can, doctor. But I know that’s not always possible.

  361. says

    Mormon Moments of Madness and dancing:
    David O. McKay is quoted below.

    . . . The enclosed statement of acceptable dancing states that if one concentrates on good dance posture, many dances can be danced in a manner which will meet LDS standards. Examples of these dances are the waltz, the fox trot, tango, rhumba, cha-cha, samba, and the swing, and most of the folk dances, for which the Brigham Young University has a very wholesome and fine reputation.

    The seven dances which I have enumerated have all been approved by the General Boards of the Mutual Improvement Associations. This should provide a sufficient variety of dances to enable the youth of Zion to have a good time.

    After all, young men and women of our Church should shun even the appearance of evil, and that is why we would very much prefer that you and others avoid the current trend of what, to many of us, appears to be vulgar dancing. There are too many fine things in this world for the young people to engage in without resorting to dances that are questionable.” …

    So…. I guess twerking is frowned upon. Also, regarding the rhumba and the samba, I guess David O. McKay was dead before nominally mormon Derek and Julianne Hough sexed those dances up on Dancing with the Stars. YouTube link, Julianne

    Ezra Taft Benson is quoted below:

    Gyrations, a twin to rock rhythm, are such that even clean hands and a pure heart cannot misinterpret their insinuations. . . .

    Darkness is another facet of the rock scene. It is a black mass that deadens the conscience in a mask of anonymity. Identity lost in darkness shrinks from the normal feelings of responsibility.

    Strobe lights split the darkness in blinding shafts that reduce resistance like the lights of an interrogator’s third degree or the swinging pendulum of the hypnotist who would control your behavior. . . .

    The whole psychedelic design is a swinging door to drugs, sex, rebellion, and Godlessness. Combined with the screaming obscenities of the lyrics, this mesmerizing music has borne the fruit of filth. Leaders of the rock society readily proclaim their degeneracy. . . .

    Hysterical historical info gleaned from a longer post by Steve Benson.

  362. says

    Ingdigo Jump
    *hugs* and sympathies. That’s never a fun place to be.

    cicely
    No fear, your order is making its way to you on the wings of the USPS as I write. I couldn’t say why some of the emails to me bounced either.
    Portia
    Yay for the job, probably.

  363. carlie says

    nightshadequeen – I know it’s too late now, but from what I understand what your school did is no longer allowed if you are in the US. My campus specifically had to change their policy to not allow for that kind of dismissal last year, and it was to be in compliance with federal law. The policy had formerly stated that the campus could dismiss students if they were “a threat to themselves or others”, and we had to remove “to themselves” from the policy.

  364. nightshadequeen says

    carlie

    Would you happen to know specifically which law changed?

    Thank you so much

  365. carlie says

    Here’s an explanation of the regulations

    Here’s a pdf presentation from a university about what the regulations mean, specifically :

    As a result of 2011 changes to federal disability law
    regulations, it is now unlawful to involuntarily
    separate a student on the basis of self-harm or
    suicidal behaviors[…]
    2011 revisions to Title II regulations
    Direct threat in Title II is now defined such that
    “Direct threat means a significant risk to the health
    or safety of others that cannot be eliminated by a
    modification of policies, practices or procedures, or
    by the provision of auxiliary aids or services as
    provided in § 35.139.”
    The change omits the word “self” that in the prior
    regulations said “self or others.”
    Today, then, it is discriminatory to apply the direct
    threat test to a situation that involves only harm to
    self.
     Note: decisions involving Bluffton University, Guilford
    College, Marietta College and DeSales University,
    all of which stated or implied that a private college
    could apply the direct threat standard to selfharmful behaviors, have now been repudiated by
    OCR

  366. carlie says

    nightshadequeen – jinx! I was doing that at the same time. It’s title II and III of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

  367. nightshadequeen says

    carlie,

    Thank you so much.

    I’m the third person I know who got forced onto medical leave; this info is really interesting, thanks.

  368. nightshadequeen says

    Incidentally, while we’re on the topic:

    Am I justified in switching pysch-doctors if pysch-doctor 1 hasn’t yet responded to two emails and two phone calls?

    [I have eight days of medication left, after which…erm….well, let’s say Lamictal is not something you can randomly stop taking]

  369. Crudely Wrott says

    From the Never a Clear Cut Line of Demarcation desk, this:

    While there is a poorly hidden agenda (church membership and dollars in the plate) and while the question of political activism circling, vulture-like, above all, I support this. Anyone else? Beuler?

  370. nightshadequeen says

    “If a girl is drunk, is it OK to have sex with her? Reply yes or no to @drphil #teensaccused.”

    …No, because she’s underage?

    Am I in the right ballpark here?

  371. Pteryxx says

    Read this earlier: http://feministing.com/2013/08/21/five-problems-with-dr-phils-tweet/

    Ugh… that reminded me of Alex Gabriel’s post earlier about the passive voice and disappearance of any raping agent whenever rape gets discussed. “she was raped” “was assaulted” all that sort of thing.

    But when does it turn to the active voice (and second person, yet?)

    If a girl is drunk, is it OK [for you to] to have sex with her?

    Gaah…

  372. Crudely Wrott says

    From the What Side of the Planet Were You On? desk:

    Pointers and Wavers.

    “While Earth is too small in the images Cassini obtained to distinguish any individual human beings, the mission has put together this collage so that we can celebrate all your waving hands, uplifted paws, smiling faces and artwork.”

    This event is the first of its kind. There was advanced intelligence.

    Don’t believe that stuff about us being too small to see. They only say that so you won’t know about the alien tech that’s behind Cassini’s camera.

    I waved along with man cubs. We didn’t send in a picture but if you squint really hard at that dark rectangle over North Carolina you might be able to just make us out. We’ll be the three peering over the pine trees.

  373. morgan says

    Crudely,

    You mentioned a while back that you were looking for ways to persuade the man cubs to eat moar veggies. Do they enjoy soups? Will they eat broccoli and/or cauliflower? If so, I just devised a KILLER
    broccoli/cheese soup. If you want the recipe I can post it here or you can email me at morganmeeker at the gmail thingy. It is criminally easy to make.