We need more honest advertising


Enough. These wimpy billboards have to stop. Look at the horrible billboards the Skepticon conference is putting up.

Kittens??!? It’s kittens everywhere. But you know the only use we have for kittens at an atheist con is as hors d’oeuvres.

So I quickly and roughly threw together the billboard I want to see.

Much better.

Comments

  1. doktorzoom says

    So we’re supposed to be charmed by some first-world kittens when the money spent to feed and provide amusing, dangly-feathery toys for them could help many more starving, even endangered cats in Africa? Where is the rationality?

    (OK, I’m over this morning now. Mostly)

  2. says

    I love the tongue-in-cheek snarkiness of these billboards although it may be too subtle for gawd-fearin’ christians…or maybe I’m reading too much into them. I read them as saying “Oh, our billboards saying atheists can be good without god or even just containing the word atheists were too offensive for you assholes…well, take offense at kittens, motherfuckers! Dare ya.”

  3. says

    Oh those Skepticon promoters are shrewd. Using cuddly kittens to get PZ all worked up, and put their conference on his website.

  4. Naked Bunny with a Whip says

    The cats are vandalizing the billboard so Christians won’t have to!

  5. robro says

    chigau — Or any other small furry critter. What’s with all this bias for warm-blooded hairy things. Jeez.

  6. Rey Fox says

    They’re cute until they start tearing their way into your house. Hungry.

    Next up: Fluffy clouds.

  7. chigau (バフーン) says

    robro

    What’s with all this bias for warm-blooded hairy things.

    When you take your fish out of their tank for a cuddle, it does not go well for the fish :(

  8. robro says

    I scanned around at some of the earlier posts about GAC and didn’t see this piece mentioned, so I’ll drop in here. And, yes, it includes PZ in the list of “heroes of atheism” speaking at the conference and giving it “frisson”…a new word to like.

    Now then, PZ, as an official hero of atheism, you can eat your kitten and have it to, or feed it to your bet Vampyroteuthis (scary, yet so cuddly cute).

  9. says

    When you take your fish out of their tank for a cuddle, it does not go well for the fish

    That’s why you cuddle fish in their tank. You can take Apple snails, certain types of plecos and octopuses out of their tank for a cuddle.

  10. Pierce R. Butler says

    On behalf of certain feral calico & tuxedo neighbors, I must protest skepticon’s blatant favoritism towards striped tabbies.

  11. christophepetroni says

    But you know the only use we have for kittens at an atheist con is as hors d’oeuvres.

    The saying is that organizing atheists is “like herding cats,” not “like devouring the young of cats.”

  12. pipenta says

    Ms Daisy:

    Hoggle is a new one on me. And my googling skills, such as they are, aren’t helping me much. I’m finding the muppet character but no mention of the verb. Unless hoggling one’s troll is a euphemism for… oh. That IS what ceiling cat watches, isn’t it?

  13. says

    On behalf of certain feral calico & tuxedo neighbors, I must protest skepticon’s blatant favoritism towards striped tabbies

    Not to mention the blatant ageism inherent in including only kittens.

  14. says

    None of those are technically ceiling cat, which is good, because when the believers had figured it out they would been offended. Would have defeated the purpose.

    Still, I’d have preferred the pureness of the octopus.

  15. chigau (バフーン) says

    Is The Pureness of the Octopus anything like The Elegance of the Hedgehog?

  16. Agent Silversmith, Post Palladium Isotope says

    Kittens are cute? They’re just ruthless predators in training.

    This from a card-carrying ailurophile.

    I like to compare atheists to frogfish. Swim too close, and your certainty could be gobbled up in a few milliseconds.

  17. chigau (バフーン) says

    cuddling snails, fish, octopods
    uuuummmm
    *whimper*
    !!!GET OFF!!!
    youtubelink
    .
    .
    .
    OK. you really had to be 14 to find this funny.
    (I am impressed that it’s actually on yo*t*be.)

  18. christophburschka says

    But you know the only use we have for kittens at an atheist con is as hors d’oeuvres.

    Now I’m confused; then what are the babies for?

  19. says

    Kittens for hors d’oevres, babies for mains. There’s more meat on a baby, duh!

    I vote for the kitten one for the next billboard award.*

    *(despite the fact that it needs more diversity)

    Yeah! Right on! All those anglo-saxon kittehs! Not a black or asian face in the crowd! When will atheism get over its racism problem? Huh?!?

  20. bovarchist says

    I don’t like cephalopods. They’re contemptible animals that muddy the water as a defense mechanism, just like Christians.

  21. chigau (バフーン) says

    I’m sure the babies would eat the kittens (if they could figure out where their hands are)
    (baby hands not kitten hands)
    (oh, you figured that out)
    (my, aren’t you grand)
    (you talkin’ ta me?)
    (I don’t see anyone else here.)
    {(wrong thread?)}

  22. remysecor says

    PZ, Above are the kittens. Below is the Friday cephalopod. No contest.
    (I sometimes wonder what gruesome childhood experience tricked your brain into cephalopod bondage. . .)

  23. Khantron, the alien that only loves says

    And that was the last thing Bovarchist ever posted on pharyngula.

  24. marella says

    I don’t quite understand why they had to say “Kittens are cute.” Everyone knows that, and it clutters up the board. Is there some deep metaphorical purpose I wot not? Do they mean to imply that just as everyone knows kittens are cute they also know there is no god? Or are they just being silly?

  25. Beatrice, anormalement indécente says

    I don’t know… That period after Kittens are cute looks a bit confrontational.

  26. 'Tis Himself says

    Kittens are too much trouble to prepare for eating. Skinning them is a pain but necessary. A nice spit-roasted baby is much simpler to cook and the skin is a delicacy.

  27. Kevin Anthoney says

    I reckon the squid one should be put on a billboard, just to see if it gets banned. Bet it doesn’t.

  28. carlie says

    Marella – it is something of an in joke. The most recent big billboard battle involved one that simply said “atheists”, as a test to see if the most simple statement, with no message at all, would still make Christians claim offense.

    It did.

    So now, how cute and cuddly can we get and be called offensive? Here’s a test.

    I predict it will, because some Christian will claim that we’re trying to lure unsuspecting children in by showing them cute kitten pictures, in much the same way the creepy van guy offers free ice cream. I might even bet money on it.

  29. mackenga says

    I quite like the idea of a ‘scary atheists’ theme for billboards; I (perhaps over-optimistically) think most people would get the sarcasm. Or maybe some billboards with killer anti-evolution arguments like “If we came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?” or “Tide goes in, tide goes out, never a miscommunication.”

  30. boadinum says

    Kittens are delicious, and kitten poker is fun, but PZ, you’re not trying to make cephalopods scary, are you?

  31. says

    Sometimes you think you have seen it all and while there are way more horrendous issues current or posted, the lackadaisical approach certainly puts your view-points and worldly-view into context. Even if I was one of yours, I would be embarrassed to read most of the above postings.

    You all must be pretty proud that an incoherent idjit does not get your so-called wonderful sense of humour.

    Kittens and babies …………………………………….

    Eish!

  32. Ogvorbis: Insert Appropriate Appelation Here says

    You all must be pretty proud that an incoherent idjit does not get your so-called wonderful sense of humour.

    No. No pride involved. No surprise involved, either.

  33. 'Tis Himself says

    Even if I was one of yours, I would be embarrassed to read most of the above postings.

    This is the problem with in-jokes. We make them and then people who aren’t familiar with the sayings and attitudes of the clique are confused.

  34. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Even if I was one of yours, I would be embarrassed to read most of the above postings.

    If I was you I would be embarrassed to read any of your incoherent postings. Inside jokes above, mocking the attitude of folks like you. You don’t understand humor either.

  35. Sili says

    So I quickly and roughly threw together the billboard

    What? No graphics designer?

    Isn’t that what you usually complain about in these billboards?

  36. 'Tis Himself says

    dexitroboper,

    Since PZ has no intention of visiting Old North Australia, he’s not concerned with Mother Hitton or her Littul Kittons. Besides, PZ would qualify as a Lord of the Instrumentality and therefore could travel wherever he wanted to.

  37. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says

    Yip, yip, yip I do not catch tne inside joke and I do not have your sense of humour.

    Indeed not. That’s the first thing that gets destroyed by the god-virus. Followed by taste.

    No surprise there either.

    No, indeed not.

    ——————————

    As for the billboards, I find the one with the kittens much scarier.

    Something that cute certainly has an ulterior motive.

  38. says

    daniel:

    Sometimes you think you have seen it all and while there are way more horrendous issues current or posted, the lackadaisical approach certainly puts your view-points and worldly-view into context.

    Idea! Stop complaining and get your own fucking blog! There are several services out there that will even provide you one for free! *gasp!* You could even link to it through your sign in to get page hits, instead of your (totally nonprivate, I might add) facebook profile!

    Jesus Christ, it’s not rocket surgery.

  39. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says

    @Dr Audley

    That he links to a non-private facebook profile should tell you a bit about his skillz in that area.

    Apparently he has no idea that employers and insurance companies will often look on facebook for info.

  40. sc_74ea47150e85034bcc7422aafb1cd691 says

    Personally, I prefer the kittens…

    But maybe there’s a way to compromise? What about a kitty-cephalopod hybrid? Shall we call it an octo-puss?

  41. says

    Jebo Bra/Sis

    When you go out of your way to find a weakness [IF} and avoid, gather your wagons and warawarawara……Nothing to hide. Seriously says a lot for you.

    A J-J-Joke is possibly funny the first time, the reptition is sick. So feel proud, pick on DH, DH666, Daniel, etc to justify your crudeness. AND NO, you cannot label this as an out-dated view-point or whichever way you want to dodge.

  42. Ogvorbis: Insert Appropriate Appelation Here says

    danielhaven:

    Could you please repeat your comment coherently?

  43. sc_74ea47150e85034bcc7422aafb1cd691 says

    danielhaven: ?????

    boadinum: Haha! That just makes me think of cows though.

  44. boadinum says

    WTF is danielhaven babbling about now? He can’t even use brackets [or parentheses, if you prefer (though I can’t imagine why you would {and why would he include curly brackets anyway?})] properly.

    Bloody troll.

  45. boadinum says

    sc_74ea47150e85034bcc7422aafb1cd691,

    I thought that cat-lefish sounded bovine, but you had already snapped up the best one. Octo-puss! I’m still giggling.

    PZ’s Friday Cephalopod was a skeptical cuttlefish, so I guess that was my inspiration. I encourage everyone out there to submit their own feline-cephalopod hybrid names.

  46. Akira MacKenzie says

    I’m not as offended by the kittens as I am that Skepticon is being billed as an ATHEIST convention! I mean, poor little Hal Bidlack is praobably weeping onto Jeff Wagg’s breast right now while Phil Plait is composing a new admonition against our “dickishness” for making a Christian JREF supporter cry.

    Won’t someone please think of the skeptics!!!

  47. David Marjanović says

    Ceiling Cat is watching trolls hoggle.

    Thread won, I can go… oh, I’m already at home. I’ll go shopping. :-)

  48. sc_74ea47150e85034bcc7422aafb1cd691 says

    boadinum:

    Haha, thanks! Maybe a cat-tlefish (cattle-fish?) could win over the hearts of all those devoted cow lovers, since there are so many.

    The only other hybrid name I’ve got is squidy-cat….

  49. KG says

    danielhaven:

    Could you please repeat your comment coherently? – Ogvorbis

    Come on, Ogvorbis, you should know by now that the answer to that question is: “No”.

  50. boadinum says

    I like squidy-cat. Maybe we can send cattlefish to the Hindu-non-cow-eating religious people.

    What about porcu-periwinkle? OK, I’ve stepped outside of the agreed-upon genera. My bad, but it’s still fun. It sound like croco-duck and other YEC batshittery.

  51. Ogvorbis: Insert Appropriate Appelation Here says

    Come on, Ogvorbis, you should know by now that the answer to that question is: “No”.

    But it won’t be. It’ll be something like:

    According to the above, the coyote has caught the road-runner

    Denial of certain things can only evol the ‘evolutionists’

    P.S. Look up

  52. says

    But kittens and cats are natural born skeptics. They question everything. Haven’t you heard the saying, “Curiosity is what killed the cat?” A few skeptical cats questioned something and well… Luckily not all questioning and skeptical cats get killed for being curious, but many are skeptics. Wouldn’t you be if humans thought your species were once gods, when your species wasn’t? lol

  53. Agent Silversmith, Post Palladium Isotope says

    danielhaven

    If we minced your last post, I think a martyr complex would drip out, but there’d be nothing recognizable after that.

    You may now consider yourself picked on.

    It’s my public service to the needy.

  54. bassmanpete says

    Off topic but I thought you’d all like a laugh on a Sunday morning. The following letter-to-the-editor was posted in Melbourne’s The Age newspaper today:

    “ATHEISM is a contemporary selfish fad that will dissipate over time. In reality, the Catholic Church is the world’s greatest humanitarian organisation, performing unpaid charity work worth billions of dollars in global economic output.

    DAVID THOMSON, St Kilda”

    I was wondering if it’s only a coincidence that the Melbourne Comedy Festival ends today.

  55. macallan says

    How can you be sure people wont mistake us for Cthulhu worshipers? :D

    What do you mean, mistake?

  56. daemonowner says

    PZ should totally fundraise to get a billboard like that put up. I would love to see how many christians go apeshit.

  57. says

    @daemonowner 91

    To a degree, I’d expect not so much, because it agrees with them. I think it’s pushing the idea that we’re normal people that offends them.

    I mean, they wen’t through all that effort to demonize us, and we’ re just going to come along and ruin all that? Bastards!

  58. Antiochus Epiphanes says

    Fuck kittens

    What I really meant is that I don’t personally identify with kittens. But you may. It’s all cool.

  59. shaggymaniac says

    Given that PZ lives and works in Minnesota, the culturally relevant view…

    kittens = muskie bait

  60. C.A.T. says

    Formerly “sc_74ea47150e85034bcc7422aafb1cd691”, I decided to change my username. Don’t hate the name yet; my initials spell cat, which is partially why I chose it, and partially because I just really love the furballs. Sorry, PZ and all you cat haters.

    I think I’ll start commenting on Pharyngula (hence the reason why I changed the name), instead of just lurking….so I guess this is sort of me introducing myself? Which I’m really bad at and it took me a really long time to deliberate on the decision whether to or not to officially do so…Here goes, to the people who come back to this thread: hi.

    So even though it’s pretty dead in here….

    boadinum:

    Yess! Hindu’s would buy that shit, maybe. Either that or they’d be utterly offended by it, which by the looks of many pharyngulite’s comments over my time spent lurking, would be a success not a failure (?).

    Does the squidy-cat sound like kitty-cat? That’s what I was going for. Porcu-periwinkle is awesome! I’m having trouble imagining it though. Spiky and shelled? ;)

    chigau:

    Kitty thinks of murdering my dwarf hamsters. All day.

  61. Brother Ogvorbis: Advanced Accolyte of Tpyos says

    C.A.T.:

    C’mon over to the lounge and introduce thyself. With your new (and much easier) ‘nym.

  62. pipenta says

    But dexitroboper, some of us ARE kittons. We’ve been woken from our drugged slumbers (like certain tentacled beings) by the rantings of theocracy.

  63. evader says

    OMG those kittens.. Possibly the best atheism related billboard ever. Whoever did that can stay at my house whenever they want.