Don’t be bitter, Hemant!
Who is the most godless atheist of 2009?
PZ Myers 61% (361 votes)
Everyone else in the universe combined 39% (226 votes)
« Warning
I think he’s making fun of me with this poll
« Warning
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Heh. Who is the “athiest” atheist of them all!?
PZ has no god. Some of the people in the universe do, or at least claim to. Ergo, PZ is clearly more godless than the entire rest of the universe combined.
I get it what he wants to say, but the way he put that just doesnt make any sense at all.
well, duh. the majority of the (known) people in the (known) universe are religious. ergo, one known-to-be atheist is certainly more godless than the average of the rest of the species.
So PZ has never been touched by his noodly appendage? how sad.
I was so hoping to see Cardinal Ratbag on this list too…he can’t honestly believe what it is he says can he? He is just there for the dress-ups and the alter boys, right.
Anyway, for your beliefs, PZ you are doomed to spend eternity in, er, um, nothingingness. So there!
Godless by degrees?
Since Kirk Cameron is as godless as PZ, though, it’s rather hard to choose.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p
Yeah, I got a chuckle out of that.
How does PZ only have 67&? Hemant is clearing his cookies, and voting multiple times! This isn’t Florida Election Commission! Come on Hemant!
That’s quite a compliment to be the most Godless!
Congratulations where they are in order.. This got me thinking though…
If not believing in God and painting an imperfect picture of Him is tantamount to being godless.
Then I look at how utterly insecure God must be, considering his fickle and erratic behavior, his ambiguous and downright contradicting communication, attributed to Him in the Bible. It shows a great lack of self-confidence.
Then I look at us, His creation, created “In His Own Image”. Fickle. Vulnerable. Ignorant. Imperfect.
It reeks of self-loathing.
Doesn’t this add up to God being The Most Godless Atheist..?
Perhaps part of PZ’s extra godlessness is because he bathes in all the extra ‘atheist-ness’ provided by we, his loyal horde of godless gremlins.
Or maybe he secretly has possession of the One Ring.
Well, it hardly makes any less sense than the stuff the theists come out with.
Whatever the cause, congrats PZ on your greater-than-the-universal-average degree of rationality.
Damn it! An unpleasant thought just hit me like a flaccid creationist apologetic. What if, in the event that we do ever acheive first contact with an alien civilisation, it transpires that they have their own woo-soaked fundies? While they will not be Xian fundies, we might still have to deal with apologists for the supernova god of Omicron Persia Eight.
Discovering that religious lunacy is as much of a universal constant as the speed of light would be quite the disappointment, if not altogether surprising.
Wear it as a badge of honour, PZ.
Omicron Persia Eight? How the hell did Persia end up in there?
That should be Omicron Persiai Eight. Or something.
I couldn’t vote. There wasn’t an “all of the above” choice on that poll.
Gregory Greenwood at 11
I’ve always wondered, what if there actually is a God, but he is the god of another alien race, and we were created simply to be conquered, enslaved and destroyed – what would a religionist’s response to that be?? It would satisfy their (ignorant and egotistical) claims that the universe was created in just such a way that would allow us, and that a god exists, it would simply say to them that the god lied to them in order to benefit his actual favoured people / species. The problem of evil on earth would just be that god dicking around with us, so to speak.
The guidebooks all warn tourists to avoid the poppler kebabs.
Your Might Overload, I like that. You are taking the infinite number of gods that satisfy Pascal’s Wager to a whole new level beyond anthropocentrism. Not only is it the wrong god, but you are the wrong species and shit out of luck no matter which one or more of the gods of humans you worship.
REPENT MORTAL! REPENT OR QUAKE IN FEAR UNDER HIS HOLY MEATBALLS!
“PZ has no god. Some of the people in the universe do, or at least claim to. Ergo, PZ is clearly more godless than the entire rest of the universe combined.”
What about people have (or claim to have) negative gods? If PZ has zero gods and I have negative three gods, I have less gods than he. Joe Shmo may have two gods, but PZ is still at zero gods, and the rest of the world has negative one god.
@Rotting in the Midwest (#19)
I am intrigued by this strange anti-pantheon you claim to worship. Please enlighten us. And do they have cookies?
Rotting in the Midwest:
I’m not sure if someone can have (or believe in?) a negative number of gods. You might want to get that checked by your therapist.
If it is possible to have a negative number of gods, then as a mindless pharynguloid I have other ways of knowing that PZ is the only sentient being in the universe with -∞ gods. So there.
Your Mighty Overlord @ 15;
That is nothing short of brilliant! I can just hear the awkward conversation between the duplicitoius, two-timing deity and its followers.
Assorted fundies; ‘God, most high, has returned! Praise be! Now all those evil unbelievers will burn for sure!’ *imagine ecstatic expressions of xianity*
God; ‘Um, hi. nice to see you again. You guys are looking great, really.’
Assorted fundies; ‘Tell us your will, oh mighty one! Shall we prepare the crusade to cleanse the unbelievers? Shall we burn a few random women for which craft like in the good old days? Maybe stone a few homosexuals for good measure. Simply command, and we obey. For we are your chosen people!’ *further ecstatic xianity*
God; ‘Err, about the whole ‘chosen people’ thing. There may have been a tiny bit of a communication snaffoo on that front. Um, me-damn-it this is embarrasing! You see, you guys are not really the chosen people at all.’
Assorted fundies; *ecstatic xianity stops abruptly* ‘But…but, how can that be. We kept all your commandments! Even the really nasty and stupid ones! If not us, then which among the faiths of Earth is true? Tell us, that we might effect a (wholly sincere, honest) conversion!’
God; ‘Um, this is awkward. Err, you see, the human race is not actually my chosen people at all. All those commandments and the holy wars and the toture and oppression and stuff. All that was just me messing with you. You see, I used to drink back in the day, and I’m a mean drunk. One day I got extra hammered and I made up all those stupid, contradictory rules for a laugh. Heh, heh. Funny wasn’t it? Well, maybe not from your perspective. Anyhoo, it seemed a good idea at the time. After I had put the rules in place I couldn’t just revoke them. That would make me look silly.’
Assorted (soon to be ex) fundies; ‘What? You are kidding us, right? we did all this evil crap for you, and the whole thing was just some sick mindgame! Who are the chosen people then, if not humans?’
God; ‘I am glad you mentioned that. This lizard looking chap with me here is called Lurr. He is the over-tyrant of Omicron Persiai Eight, and rules my actual chosen people. Unfortunately, he and his species are having difficulty maintaining their population, but its OK. That’s were you come in.’
Highly suspicious assorted ex-fundies; ‘How, exactly?’
God; ‘Being omniscient and omnipotent, I forsaw this calamity at the dawn of time, and so I created your species for the sole purpose of helping out Lurr’s people with their reproductive problem. You see, (and keep this under your hats, its private) male potency among Lurr’s species is less than ideal. More of my shoddy design work, I am afraid. Conveniently, the lower horns of male humans are a potent aphrodisiac for Lurr’s people. So he has come with his war fleet to annihilate human civilisation and enslave your species so that he can farm all the lower horn his society needs.’
Terrified ex-fundies; ‘You can’t be serious! That’s monstrous! You can’t do this to us! It is an affront to any standard of morality!’
God; ‘You forget, your human concept of morality is fallen. I am a perfect divine being. I cannot be judged by the likes of you. Now, do you really believe all this piety you keep spouting about my magnificence, or not? Before you answer, bear in mind that lower horn can be harvested either before or after death. Your choice.’
Aratina at 17
Thanks. I haven’t yet worked out exactly how to frame this one yet, to work it into its most potent form. I suspect that most of these religious types while happily believing in magic-man-in-the-sky, would scoff at the existence of aliens! Believe the unbelievable, while dismissing the probable.
However, I think my idea would stand up to some scrutiny, since presumably the christian god made all the other peoples of the ancient world simply for the purpose of being conquered. If god creates us all, what was his purpose for creating Pharaoh, if not to have his heart hardened?
Are the gods in the anti-pantheon made of anti-super-matter?
(I would prefer homemade cookies to store-bought ones.)
Ooh, do they have anti-cookies? Do you get skinny when you eat them?
Perhaps he meant it at as a compliment… I mean, “Most Godless Athiest”, that’s actually pretty impressive (if you ignore the obvious redundancy), though the score for the rest of the universe is somewhat discouraging…
This is a poll that needs to be “de-peezed”.
Gregory at 22
Excellent stuff! I like it. Actually watched “Bender’s Game” last night. Strange things, those Futurama movies.
Actually, I think the wording of the poll is fine. Everyone in the universe IS godless… they just refuse to admit it.
Gregory Greenwood @22, you made my day. LOLOL.
JimL:
I disagree. The way I read it, only an atheist would qualify for the poll. Since not everyone in the universe was an atheist in 2009, then it is irrelevant whether or not a god exists.
That’s how it is in life too — am I right, or am I right?
TypePad signin – check.
Comment using bolt – check.
Now, just who the ever-flying fuck is this Hemant guy? I’d never heard of him before the recent poll, and I know most of the others so it’s not that I haven’t been paying attention.
Aah! It’s He-man, t’ Master of the Universe. Hang on! Doesn’t that make him god?
Atheism FAIL! Hemant.
Who is the most godless theist?
I find it hard to think of any one in particular, and I don’t know if any of the famous theists are indeed theists or are just behind the curtain counting their coins.
You’re so vain
I bet you think this poll is about you
Don’t you
Don’t you
Don’t you
isn’t this the same guy who told that incredibly tasteless and offensive joke about going on a date with a little person? it would take a lot for me to stop reviling him, even if he does come up with an amusing poll.
She Wolf wins, go ahead and close the thread.
I think Hemant is honoring you by this poll, PZ.
There is something in this…
● He behaves oddly.
● He has multiple apperances, both physical and virtual.
● He sees all that happens here.
● He is all-powerful over his domain.
● He has a huge hoard of minions, often accused of being mindless, who makes lots of noise, attack in droves and never stop, bicker amongst themselves, like tearing the flesh from the helpless interlopers, are known to eat babies, and basically behave like the classic Orc.
● Has great piles of treasure, such as The Trophy Wife™.
And most amazingly of all, I was able to login on the very first try with TypoPathetic. Not quite sure just how that proves Little Poopyhead Pee Zed has the One Ring, but surely it must…
You can’t multiply by zero. Anyway, theists do this all the time in reverse. Who is the most godful (is that a word?).
Squeege:
You can multiply by zero, which of course is zero. So I’d say “most godful” would probably still be zero on the goddiness scale. By the way, the closest actual word or phrase to “godful” I can think of is “god-awful” — close enough to count, I guess.
A few months ago, a Christian friend/colleague of mine (who’s fairly intelligent and liberal) was trying to tell me that I was not “godless” as I had called myself. Instead, he claimed that I was “godly” in that I was a good person, or honorable, or some shit. I wanted to accept it as a complement, but I think my facial expression probably indicated otherwise.
We had just been talking about how stupid and evil religions are. I know he’s very critical of other religions, and other than some watered-down form of Christianity doesn’t accept supernatural claims. Somehow, the point still went way over his head. It’s amazing to me how smart people can hold such contradictory ideas in their heads at the same time.
Anti-Pantheon mathematics:
No Xtian God = 0
No Horus = -1
No Freya = -2
No Zeus = -3
etc., etc. etc.
The most fervent fundamentalist is godless – just doesn’t know it.
Heh. So true. They’re all godless and don’t know it, from the fundamentalists to the mystics.
Persei
And when I voted, the Friendly Atheist had an ad for “Ministerial Preparation – ready to answer God’s call?”
Snicker.
BTW, at present it’s 77% (2,601 votes) for PZ, versus 23% (763 votes) for Everyone Else Combined.
I think that it would have been funnier to reverse-Pharyngulate the poll…
Actually, I am the most godless atheist, not only of 2009 but of all time. It’s just that I’m not famous enough to appear on a poll.
I think PZ needs to lose this one…you know to humble him.
No, I am the most godless, with minus infinite gods.
PZ isn’t even close! My negative-gods gobble up all the known (????) gods.
Call me Mr. Supreme Godlessy.
PZ is the MOST godless since he heeds the advice of every sports coach who ever gave a motivational speech.
PZ gives 110% to his godlessness.
You should have said “You might want to get that checked by your theologian… or anti-theologian”.
Andreas Johansson @ 44;
‘Persei’
Thank you for the spelling assist. I really would have beena terrible astronomer.
Your Mighty Overlord @ 28 and Lurker 42 @ 30;
Thank you, thank you! I will be here all week.
I also enjoy Futurama, strange though it is. Bender is aparticular favourite character of mean. Thogh really he is two Characters. Bender loveable, amoral, cleptomaniac self and, of course, his shiny metal ass!
Sorry That should read ; ‘…a particular favourite character of mine. Though really he is two characters…’
The cold here is starting to effect my typing.
Anyone offered up quarternion gods yet?
Gregory Greenwood,
That was excellent stuff, very Monty Python-esque! [Are you British, Mr. Greenwood?] Enjoyed it thoroughly, though if it were a Hollywood production, the end of your narrative would be where the [soon-to-be-ex]-fundies bring out their artillery, light and heavy, handguns, bazookas, missile-launchers, talking heads and so forth…
Kausik.datta @ 56;
I am glad you liked it. I am British as it happens. My long and intensive training as an Initiate with the Knights of Ni obviously paid off. I still have my complimentary Holy Hand Grenade (that explodes after a count of three. Not two, nor four but three.)
The alternate Hollywood ending you propose sounds about right. After all, Truth, Justice and the American Way(tm) are regularly depicted in film as allowing we puny apes to defeat alien civilisations with a few thousand years on us in terms of technological development with ease, despite the fact that we may as well be using sticks and stones.
Hollywood is wholly untroubled by the fact that an alien race nasty enough to say ‘hi’ with an assault fleet would doubtless simply use their scary advanced tech to annihilate us from orbit or some other safe distance while laughing their asses/tentacles/inflation bladders off at our pathetic attemps to fight back.
If Hollywood can advance such a ludicrous scenario, why not take it to the next level and have Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis duff over our hypothetical nasty, alien loving god in a bare-knuckle fist fight?
Yeah, he is omnipotent but he has a real glass jaw. A quick one-two of right cross followed by uppercut will sought him out good an’ proper!
Also, God in my little skit should definately be voiced by someone like John Cleese or, even better, Stephen Fry.
Oh, most certainly the venerable John Cleese! Actually, Stephen Fry wouldn’t be amiss either, you’re right.
Thomas @ #20 quoth-
Well that one is easy enough. The christians are always declaring so and so to be the anti-christ, so I think we can declare the existence of anti-pantheon to be established.
But DominEditrix is simply misinformed when claiming
since the young lady that makes me lattés is indeed Freya and given how heavenly they are I think she may well be worthy of worship. Or at least a good… hug.