It’s an honor, of sorts


She beat Brownback. She trounced Tancredo. She even clobbered Coburn. America’s Holiest Congressperson is Minnesota’s own Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN).

Bachmann, an Evangelical Lutheran, and self-professed “fool for Christ,” ran for Congress because God—and her husband—wanted her to. The representative publicly credited her campaign to her submission to her husband, who was channeling God’s wishes for her.

Prior to this higher calling, Bachmann earned a law degree from Coburn, an affiliate of Oral Roberts University, and helped found a charter school where she reportedly worked to prevent the Disney movie Aladdin from being shown, because it supposedly promoted paganism. Then, as a Minnesota state senator, Bachmann launched a crusade to outlaw gay marriage that turned into a highly publicized spectacle replete with restroom run-ins with angry lesbians and grainy photos suggesting that Bachmann was “spying” on a gay rights rally while crouching behind a bush.

Tireless in her pursuit, Bachmann has even gone so far as to be active in efforts to “rehabilitate” people who “suffer from ‘same-sex attractions,’ and once articulated the merits of being “hot for Jesus Christ.”

The magazine also has a list of our Ten Dumbest Congressperson — couldn’t they have saved some space by consolidating the two lists?

Comments

  1. says

    The Star Trib profiled our own Holy Congressette last fall and the reporter asked if she thought any marriages would truly be hurt by gays getting married. She replied that no, she doesn’t think so, however she thinks it would be awkward for teachers and parents to have to explain homosexuality to children.

    Talk about being Politically Correct! I have tried to find the article, but the search has yielded nothing. Take my word for it.

  2. Dianne says

    … and once articulated the merits of being “hot for Jesus Christ.”

    Wow. The possibilities for snark are almost infinite…but wouldn’t convincing the male half of her constituency to be hot for JC be counter to her anti-gay stance? And I’m not even getting near the necrophiliac undertones…

  3. says

    The mental state of these fundamentalists is bizarre. They seem to see some leering, sexual twisted-ness everywhere they look. Makes ya wonder…

  4. M says

    She tried to prevent Aladdin from being released? Screw that, my cousin worked on the movie!

    How does someone like this get ELECTED more than once?

  5. speedwell says

    My animator fiance said, “Screw that… how do you get to work on a Disney movie?”

    Heh. I think he is about eighty percent serious.

  6. says

    I live in her district, sad to say. But listening to the fellow commuters on the express bus downtown…I can see why.

  7. Deepsix says

    Oh, how I love top ten lists. Mark Twain said it best, “…suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

  8. Robert says

    Wow, that makes me feel better for my state, which has Tancredo and Musgrave.

  9. says

    I think that after reading about Rep. Bachman, I’m not really going to be all that surprised at the nuttiness of the next box of squirrel turds I find in the mail.

  10. Albatrossity says

    Well, since my home-state senator Brownback is only #2 in this list, I’m sure that he will just try harder. For example, in the recent Rethuglican “debate”, he noted “we’ve had 40 or 50 years, now, of trying to run faith out of the public square.” Now that is some world-class reality-denying!

  11. says

    I thought that Mark Twain said, “Suppose you were a member of a school board. And suppose you were an idiot. But I repeat myself.”

    Mark Twain is one of my heroes!

  12. frog says

    The mental state of these fundamentalists is bizarre. They seem to see some leering, sexual twisted-ness everywhere they look. Makes ya wonder…

    Not really. It’s pretty up-front about themes of sexual dominance and submission – does Bachmann’s husband get to spank her for being naughty? Tie her up if she votes differently from him?

    The weird thing is only their lack of self-awareness, and our own surprise in this. It’s and S&M world, that is justified as either religious or rational (self-interested). Neither is fully true – first comes the sexual need, then comes the rationalization.

  13. Azkyroth says

    Not really. It’s pretty up-front about themes of sexual dominance and submission – does Bachmann’s husband get to spank her for being naughty? Tie her up if she votes differently from him?

    The weird thing is only their lack of self-awareness, and our own surprise in this. It’s and S&M world, that is justified as either religious or rational (self-interested). Neither is fully true – first comes the sexual need, then comes the rationalization.

    This sounds suspiciously like projection. What exactly do you mean by that?

  14. Crudely Wrott says

    We, the voters, citizens of this really big republic, hang our heads collectively in observance of the fact that we do not know the difference between “stage presence” and “leadership qualities”.

    Though some actually voted for the spook-belabored Michele Bachmann, many of us can feel that undeniable sinking sensation as she, and others like her throughout the country, spend enormous amounts of time, effort, public funds, valuable committee time, useful face time on the tube, public funds, constituent goodwill, the trust the of ranks of naive supporters, public trust and public funds to tell us what we may or may not do with our pee-pees! (Didn’t a similar post appear here recently?)

    In the interest of full disclosure and the garnering of pubic I mean public support I think that it is in the best interest of all citizens to require public servants to describe, in detail and with 8×10 glossies with circles and arrows where necessary, exactly what they do with theirs. At the very least, this would give us much needed guidance and instruction for those who have somehow gotten it wrong. Most likely form being infected by “incorrectness”.

    What could be more democratic? Imagine how the Union would rise up and strengthen!

    (And to think that my teachers had the audacity to tell me that citizenship devolves from each one of us being responsible for our own selves while acting on behalf of our neighbors! Those commies had no idea how short they sold the idea of intrusive government control. Why, the day might come when we no longer need to touch another person; why, the day is surely coming when we no longer need touch ourselves. Robotic “pissboys”, perhaps. Auto wipers? Silent stealth tissues that wipe our noses for us? Sure, why not? seeing that all of this is so messy and unsanitary and some people feel uncomfortable, poor dears? Couldn’t have that now, could we?)

    I tell ya, pard, at times like this I wish Frank Zappa had just given his farewell speech after two full terms in office. I guaran-double-tee that the nation would be more dynamic and prosperous and fractious and the happier for it.

  15. mad molly says

    Step 1: Get married

    Step 2: Run for Empress of the United States of America while telling everyone that that’s what god and my husband want me to do

    Step 3: Profit!!!