Another accolade from a ‘prestigious’ journal


The June/July issue of Creation Matters, the house organ of the Creation Research Society, has an article about…ME. Guess what?

They don’t like me. Not one bit.

I’m so crushed that I’m going to post the entire article below the fold, and I think I may have to have a party tonight. It’s always such an honor to be hated by people who believe the earth is less than 10,000 years old, was conjured into existence in six days, and that not believing their god appeared on Earth, like Zeus before Leda, means your non-existent soul will burn in hell forever.

Nature Gives Top Blog Honors to
Radical Atheists

P . Z. Myers (U of Minnesota) has been one of
the most foul-mouthed critics of creation, intelligent design and religion in general. He has said that Abraham was worse than Hitler (Myers, 2005c). He has ridiculed the crucifixion of Christ (Myers, 2005d). His opinion on how to treat anti-evolutionists (Myers, 2005b):

I say, screw the polite words and careful rhetoric. It’s
time for scientists to break out the steel-toed boots and
brass knuckles, and get out there and hammer on the
lunatics and idiots.

Yet this man’s blog,Pharyngula, was given top honors by Nature
in its list of the the five top science blogs on the Internet (Anonymous,
2006). Second with the silver medal was Panda’s Thumb, another
strongly anti-ID blog to which Myers also contributes. Once, he
responded on Panda’s Thumb about the stridency of his remarks (Myers, 2005a):

Please don’t try to tell me that you object to the tone of our
complaints. Our only problem is that we aren’t martial
enough, or vigorous enough, or loud enough, or angry
enough. The only appropriate responses should involve some
form of righteous fury, much butt-kicking, and the public
firing and humiliation of some teachers, many schoolboard
[sic] members, and vast numbers of sleazy far-right politicians.

Now you know where Nature’s heart is. It has not changed much
since it originated as Darwin’s mouthpiece in 1867, except that before
evolution gained absolute power, they had to talk nicer and pretend
to be interested in truth. This does not disparage the many working
scientists, who submit their papers faithfully for publication to as wide
an audience as possible, when they have done good lab work in their
specialty; but it shows you the mindset of the editorial board. If they
endorse Myers’ kind of attitude as the way to carry on scientific
discussions of controversial issues, do they have a case?

Anonymous. 2006. Top five science blogs. [email protected], posted 5 July.
www.nature.com/news/2006/060703/full/442009a.html

Myers, P.Z. 2005a. Comment #35130. Panda’s Thumb, posted 14 June.
www.pandasthumb.org/archives/2005/06/a_new_recruit.html#comment-
35130

Myers, P.Z. 2005b. Perspective. Pharyngula, posted 4 August.
http://pharyngula.org/index/weblog/comments/perspective/

Myers, P.Z. 2005c. So let’s make sure it doesn’t get that bad here. Pharyngula,
posted 10 December.
http://pharyngula.org/index/weblog/comments/so_lets_make_sure_it_doesnt
_get_that_bad_here/

Myers, P.Z. 2005d. Benny was kind of passionate, I guess. Pharyngula, posted
11 December.
http://pharyngula.org/index/weblog/comments/benny_was_kind_of_passiona
te_i_guess/

Comments

  1. says

    Can someone explain why they [sic]ced “many schoolboard members.” I’ve always been a bad proofreader – am I missing something here?

    Oh, and congrats PZ – this is a great honor!

  2. Houdini's Ghost says

    An endorsement from Nature is pretty sweet, but not nearly so sweet as an undorsement from the Creation Research Society. Hooray for you.

  3. quork says

    Can someone explain why they [sic]ced “many schoolboard members.”

    Possibly it should be two words (?)

  4. VegasKev says

    Nicely played, sir! I will raise a toast in your honor this very afternoon!

    Thanks for reading!
    Kev

  5. says

    “Yet this man’s blog,Pharyngula, was given top honors by Nature in its list of the the five top science blogs on the Internet (Anonymous, 2006). Second with the silver medal was Panda’s Thumb, another strongly anti-ID blog to which Myers also contributes.”

    Hold on wasn’t that Nature article based on Technocrati rankings? Creationists are even more desperate to show that science is really an atheist conspiracy than I thought.

  6. says

    Oh, by the way: notice the headline talks about “radical atheists,” plural, yet the only people they talk about are me and the contributors to the Panda’s Thumb. Congratulations are therefore also due to those namby-pamby believers at PT, who have apparently also now shed their superstitious follies and joined me in firebreathing godlessness.

  7. says

    “except that before evolution gained absolute power, they had to talk nicer and pretend to be interested in truth”…
    Do they mix up Nature with DI here or is this a bonafide case of “the pot calling the kettle black”?

  8. J-Dog says

    Congratulations PZ! Hey CRS – Please put me down for some of that Crucifixion Ridicule too!

  9. King Spirula says

    I always love it when disingenuous, decietful, and lying Creationists pull out the “foul mouthed” card. Hehehehe. Fuck’em. Congrats PZ.

  10. Timothy says

    In addition to their other nonsense, half of the source links are broken.

    Way to go, PZ! When I grow up I hope creationists hate me even half as much as they hate you. So jealous!

  11. BlueIndependent says

    This reminds me of the Mother Jones Radio segment Al Franken played just over a week ago on his show, the one where David Horowitz turns into a simpering mass of ignorance and stupidity on air. Did anyone hear that? If not, you should have, because the Mother Jones Radio show got Horowitz and one of the professors he accuses in his book on the air to settle the score.

    When Horowitz was challenged on a quote Horowitz misrepresented from the other guest, one of his “101 worst professors”, Horowitz hemmed and hawed, and sounded like the unaccomplished hack he is, and then finally forced out the words: “…I, I, I have never met Mr. (whatever his name was)”.

    The professor in question should have sued him that moment on the air.

    Challenge these people when they defame our educational and scientific leaders. They will fall apart every time, because deep down they know they ain’t got a cow pie’s worth of crap right about anyone they have chosen to hate.

  12. says

    Oh, come on. Isn’t that “absolute power” bit wonderful? I had no idea.

    My goal now is to become a top level enforcer in the organization with absolute power. Next time GW Bush pops off about evolution, I’m going to send some of the boys–you know, the four-eyed poindexters with bad haircuts–to rough him up with a math lecture or sumfin.

  13. Stephen says

    I think it’s funny that they interpret your words to mean a physical beating (not unlike the one they gave to that poor Kansas professor last year), when in actuality we would all be more than satisfied delivering intellectual blows to their sorry asses.

  14. says

    So, PZ… How did you get a copy of the newsletter this article is in? The CRS website says you need to be a paying member to view the current newsletter, and to be a paying member, you have to agree to their statement of belief.

  15. Steve Watson says

    Hold on wasn’t that Nature article based on Technocrati rankings?
    It was indeed — go read the Nature article (to which the CRS article obligingly provides a link). It’s a news article about the most popular science blogs. Nature (a.k.a. “Darwin’s mouthpiece”, heh) did not accord PZ “top honors” — we did. But these folks never turn down an excuse, however tenuous, to play the persecution card.

  16. Steve_C says

    New or old earth creationist Jason?

    Are you a subscriber?

    A statement of belief? Sounds like the paper you have to sign before entering a “private” speech by Bush.

  17. George Cauldron says

    How old do you think the Earth is, Jinxy?

    Also:

    Total literal, OT and NT — yes or no?

  18. Lya Kahlo says

    So the best they could do is quote PZ out of context?

    . . yeah, that’s not transparent and desperate at all . . .

    Congrats, PZ!

  19. commissarjs says

    One would think that mocking the crucifiction would be small potatoes compared to PZ’s scheme of creating an army of undead cyborg squid men.

  20. George Cauldron says

    Hey, I want to be profiled in Creation Matters too! PZ, who’s your publicist?

    No fooling, shows how much work the rest of us have to do in catching up. Kind of like not making Nixon’s enemies list. :-(

  21. says

    Jason — I guess their security is the result of a grasp of computer science every bit as good as their grasp of the rest of science.

  22. says

    you know what the best part is? the excerpts they use of your writing is so damn much better than their pathetic “we’re victims!” mewling, even truncuated like that.

    except as farce i guess.

  23. squeaky says

    Would that they publish an article thoughtfully questioning your science rather than your tactics. My guess is they focused on your tactics while completely ignoring your science. You have a lot of important things to say about science. Too bad the people who need to hear it ignore it because of your tactics.

  24. says

    One would think that mocking the crucifiction would be small potatoes compared to PZ’s scheme of creating an army of undead cyborg squid men.

    …. and then THEY mock the crucifixion? (Or that particular one — not that anybody bothers to remember all the other victims of Roman “justice.”)

  25. Chris Crawford says

    I wonder, is there any such thing as a “non-radical atheist”? Certainly it seems more fitting for them to describe themselves as “radical Christians”.

    I will also put in a word for linguistic civility. Verbal violence only serves to sate one’s anger, and never convinces anybody.

    Chris Crawford, Doctor of Altiloquence

  26. George says

    Woo-Hoo!

    I don’t see how any scientist could conceive of becoming a member of the Creation Research Society, and yet they do! Unbelievable!

    CM says on its membership page:

    Several categories of membership are available, each of which requires agreement with the CRS statement of belief. [italics and bold mine]

    The statement of belief is preposterous!

    CRS Statement of Belief
    All members must subscribe to the following statement of belief:

    1. The Bible is the written Word of God, and because it is inspired throughout, all its assertions are historically and scientifically true in the original autographs. To the student of nature this means that the account of origins in Genesis is a factual presentation of simple historical truths.

    2. All basic types of living things, including man, were made by direct creative acts of God during the Creation Week described in Genesis. Whatever biological changes have occurred since Creation Week have accomplished only changes within the original created kinds.

    3. The great flood described in Genesis, commonly referred to as the Noachian Flood, was an historic event worldwide in its extent and effect.

    4. We are an organization of Christian men and women of science who accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. The account of the special creation of Adam and Eve as one man and one woman and their subsequent fall into sin is the basis for our belief in the necessity of a Savior for all mankind. Therefore, salvation can come only through accepting Jesus Christ as our Savior.

  27. oldhippie says

    If I got an article like that I would print it on pretty paper, frame it, and hang it on the wall.

  28. says

    dude. i want to mock the crucifiction right now.

    Jesus walks into a botel, hands the innkeeper three nails and says, “Can you put me up for the night?”

    Jesus is hanging on the cross, and peter is standing in the crowd watching him. Jesus calls to him “Peter! Come to me!” and Peter runs forward. The Romans beat him mercilessly with their spears and throw him back. Again, Jesus cries out “Peter! Come to your savior!” and Peter rushes forward, to again be pounded silly by bored roman guards. dazed, he hears Jesus call him once more and surges through the guards, filled with holy strength.
    “Yes my lord! What do you need o son of god?!!” he cries, not feeling the horrible wounds covering his body from the multiple savage beatings.
    And Jesus spake: “Peter…I can see your house from here.”

  29. says

    this one is cool. c’n’p’d

    This joke by Emo Phillips was voted by a jury of American comedians as #44 out of the “Best 75 Jokes Ever” in GQ Magazine. To do it justice, imagine the two participants becoming increasingly enthusiastic and animated as the conversation progresses. — Richard Russell

    I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on a ledge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, “Stop! Don’t do it!”

    “Why shouldn’t I?” he said.

    “Well, there’s so much to live for.” “Like what?” “Well, are you religious?” He said yes. I said, “Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?” “Christian.” “Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

    “Protestant.” “Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”

    “Baptist.” “Wow, me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?”

    “Reformed Baptist Church of God.” “Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1789 or Reformed Baptist Church of God, 1915?”

    He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915.”

    I said, “Die, heretic scum!!” And pushed him off the bridge.

  30. commissarjs says

    …. and then THEY mock the crucifixion? (Or that particular one — not that anybody bothers to remember all the other victims of Roman “justice.”)

    I love you Spartacus!

  31. says

    Hmm… It seems George’s obsession with asking me questions I’ve already answered has rubbed off on Steve. Tragic.

  32. says

    Jumped on the Post button too quick. Meant to answer the one question that was asked that I haven’t answered before: no, I’m not a subscriber to the CRS newsletter.

  33. Steve_C says

    Link to the answer please. Or answer my questions Jason.

    Not all of us are familiar with your illustrious past.

  34. Sunny says

    haha PZ, this is even better than winning the Oscars! I think you need to celebrate with a bottle of champagne.

  35. George Cauldron says

    Hmm… It seems George’s obsession with asking me questions I’ve already answered has rubbed off on Steve. Tragic.

    Jinx, Jinx, Jinx. Why are you SO AFRAID to answer these questions? You’re not ASHAMED are you? Seems to me any decent Christian would LOVE to answer these questions time and time again, when surrounded by mocking heathens! What kind of example ARE you?

    C’mon Jinxy, prove to us you’re not the weasel we think you are!

  36. says

    hey jason!

    Deductive Reasoning
    Neighbor 1: “Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a nice day to be moving”
    New Neighbor: “Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly”
    Neighbor 1: “So what is it you do for a living?”
    New Neighbor: “I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning”
    Neighbor 1: “Deductive reasoning, what is that?”
    New Neighbor: “Let me give you and example. I see you have a dog house out
    back. By that I deduce that you have a dog.”
    Neighbor 1: “That is right”
    New Neighbor: “The fact that you have a dog, leads me to deduce that
    you have a family.”
    Neighbor 1: “Right again”
    New Neighbor: “Since you have a family I deduce that you have a wife”
    Neighbor 1: “Correct”
    New Neighbor: “And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are
    heterosexual”
    Neighbor 1: “Yup”
    New Neighbor: “That is deductive reasoning”
    Neighbor 1: “Cool”

    Later that same day

    Neighbor 1: “Hey, I was talking to that new guy who moved in next door”
    Neighbor 2: “Is he a nice guy?”
    Neighbor 1: “Yes, and he has an interesting job”
    Neighbor 2: “Oh, yeah what does he do?”
    Neighbor 1: “He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University”
    Neighbor 2: “Deductive reasoning, what is that?”
    Neighbor 1: “Let me give you an example. Do you have a dog house?”
    Neighbor 2: “No”
    Neighbor 1: “Fag.”

  37. j says

    Dear Jason,

    I am relatively new to Pharyngula, although I have lurked for a time before becoming a commenter. Although I read Pharyngula on a daily basis, I fear that I missed the post(s) in which you answered George Cauldron’s questions. I apologize for inconveniencing you, but I would really appreciate it if you would answer his questions once again for those of us who missed your response the first time. Thanks so much.

  38. richCares says

    Many ancient cultures punished the children and spouses of the crime doer. This was widely practised until the enlightenment. The Christian god punishes Adam and all his chidren including future children. That my friends is not a god worth worshipping. Adam ate the apple and that means we need salvation – BULL PUPPU!!!

  39. says

    Link to the answer please. Or answer my questions Jason.

    Not all of us are familiar with your illustrious past.

    You mean my “illustrious past” as in “a couple days ago?” I answered your questions (the one about being a subscriber just now, in fact). Search through the past comments yourself for the answer to your other question. I’m not your mommy.

    And I answered George’s questions before, too.

  40. says

    A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a
    group of a few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog.
    Concerned that the boys were hurting the animal, he went over
    and asked them what they were doing.

    One of the boys replied, “This dog is an old neighborhood stray.
    We take him home with us sometimes, but only one of us can take
    him home. So we’re having a contest: whichever one of us tells
    the biggest lie can take him home today.”

    Of course, the Reverend was shocked. “You boys shouldn’t be
    having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed. He then launched
    into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, “Don’t you
    boys know it’s a sin to lie?” and ending with, “Why, when I was
    your age, I never told a lie.”

    There was complete silence for about a minute. As the Reverend
    smiled with satisfaction that he’d gotten through to them, the
    smallest boy gave a deep sigh. “All right,” he said, “give him
    the dog.”

    though technically, all the priest should have to do is show up to win a lying contest

  41. Steve_C says

    Fuck that. I’m in this post now. Don’t care enough to search.
    You don’t care enough to answer.

  42. George Cauldron says

    Two questions, Jinxy.

    a) literal OT/NT — yes or no?

    b) how old? YEC or OEC?

    Don’t be a weasel, Jinx! You can do it! You don’t want us to think you’re ASHAMED of your Deeply Held Conservative Christian Convictions, DO you?

  43. BruceH says

    Jason said, “…and to be a paying member, you have to agree to their statement of belief.”

    I, for one, do not see a significant moral quandry in lying to the lying liars. Suscribe anyway, if you want. Their “statement” is no more than a thinly veiled attempt to deflect criticism of their views. If what they say is unassailable fact, why do the insist their readers subscribe to their version of reality?

  44. Steve_C says

    Has anyone seen him answer this questions?
    Anyone know the answer he gave? I sure don’t.

    I suspect old earth… but that may be giving him
    to much benefit of the doubt.

  45. says

    Why are you SO AFRAID to answer these questions? You’re not ASHAMED are you?

    I’m not afraid or ashamed to answer those or any other questions. But I’ve answered your questions already either here or elsewhere. If you missed them (either through not paying attention or through the act of someone else deleting my answers), tough luck. I don’t answer questions to satisfy the bloated egos of arrogant, insulting blowhards.

    Oh, see? I answered those two questions now, too.

  46. George Cauldron says

    The essential Jinx:

    Jinx: “I am a deeply religious Christian. Christianity guides my life. I am a better person than any atheist. If you continue to be an atheist, you’re going to hell”.

    Other Person: “Really? What kind of Christian are you?”

    Jinx: “I refuse to answer that question. I already told someone several months ago.”

  47. Alex says

    “Statement of Belief”….gosh, that doesn’t sound like indoctrination now, does it??

    Hey, a new book: The brainwashing brainwashers and the brainwashed they brainwash.

    Idiots.

  48. says

    Garth:

    dude. i want to mock the crucifiction right now.

    My favorite has always been:

    Q. Why did Jesus die on the cross?
    A. Because he forgot his safeword.

    (It really puts “The Passion of Christ” into a different light.)

  49. says

    I, for one, do not see a significant moral quandry in lying to the lying liars. Suscribe anyway, if you want. Their “statement” is no more than a thinly veiled attempt to deflect criticism of their views. If what they say is unassailable fact, why do the insist their readers subscribe to their version of reality?

    That argument might have held water had CRS not been allowing non-members to view past newsletters. lol!

  50. George Cauldron says

    I’m not afraid or ashamed to answer those or any other questions. But I’ve answered your questions already either here or elsewhere.

    WHY does that mean you can’t take the 10 seconds to answer them NOW, Jinx? You really look like you’re ashamed or afraid.

    Two questions, Jinxy:

    1) a) yes
    b) no

    2) a) OEC
    b) YEC

    How easy can it GET?

  51. George Cauldron says

    Oo! Oo! My favorite Crucifixion joke!

    What does ‘INRI’ stand for?

    ‘I’m Nailed Right In”.

  52. says

    The essential Jinx:

    Jinx: “I am a deeply religious Christian. Christianity guides my life. I am a better person than any atheist. If you continue to be an atheist, you’re going to hell”.

    Please point out where I’ve said I believed any such thing as what I’ve bolded, George. Oh, that’s right. You can’t because it’s one of your typical lies.

    Other Person: “Really? What kind of Christian are you?”

    Jinx: “I refuse to answer that question. I already told someone several months ago.”

    “Other Person” = conveniently timed sock-puppet.

    George, you’re obviously a fan of Canadian Cynic and have followed his little vendetta against me for a while. Won’t he tell you what I answered when he asked the question you’re so obsessed with? Are you afraid or ashamed to ask him?

  53. Steve Watson says

    “Controversial Christian Faction Believes Jesus Was Nailed To Two Parallel Pieces Of Wood”
    As so often happens in the world of religion, Nature has anticipated Parody: the Jehovah’s Witnesses make a big deal about how Jesus wasn’t nailed to a literal cross (ie. two timbers joined at right angles), but to a simple stake (or maybe some other configuration). I forget the details of the argument or how they blow it up to be a Big Issue, but it’s one of the ways they differentiate themselves from “Christendom”.

  54. Millimeter Wave says

    I’m not afraid or ashamed to answer those or any other questions. But I’ve answered your questions already either here or elsewhere. If you missed them (either through not paying attention or through the act of someone else deleting my answers), tough luck.

    Fair enough. I’ll settle for a pointer to where you answered the questions.

  55. Lya Kahlo says

    “I don’t answer questions . . . ”

    “I already answered . . . ”

    So, did you give answers or not? If you did, you should be able to produce them.

    It’s becoming very clear you fear the response to your answers.

  56. George Cauldron says

    Why are you SO AFRAID to answer these two simple questions about your Deeply Held Faith? It looks really weird to everyone else, Jinx.

    C’mon, little man! If you answer the questions clearly here and now, I WON’T EVER ASK THEM AGAIN!!!

  57. Great White Wonder says

    I am so disappointed that I am not personally mentioned in that article that I can barely finish my fried fetus.

  58. says

    steve, george, he knows if he states his beliefs he’ll just get ripped to shreds. he probably has some crazed ID-ish mishmash garbage stuff, the heretical kind that doesn’t even fit into his own worldview, causing some cognitive dissonance.
    at least a lot of religionists, despite suffering from mental disorders, don’t have to try and ruin science on the way. talk about holding a grudge.
    Science: “Religion, you suck. You make no sense.”
    Religion (under breath): “I will destroy you.”

  59. Billy says

    Rather noble of you, PZ, not to return in kind. You might have added a few [sic]’s of your own:

    Yet this man’s blog,Pharyngula, was given top honors by Nature in its list of the the [sic] five top science blogs on the Internet

    It has not changed much since it originated as Darwin’s mouthpiece in 1867, except that before evolution gained absolute power, they [sic] had to talk nicer [sic] and pretend to be interested in truth.

    If they endorse Myers’ [sic] kind of attitude as the way to carry on scientific discussions of controversial issues, do they have a case?

  60. says

    WHY does that mean you can’t take the 10 seconds to answer them NOW, Jinx?

    I told you why. Are your reading comprehension skills really that poor?

    You really look like you’re ashamed or afraid.

    To whom? You? Well, to me, you look like a pathetically obsessed, lazy bigot. I’m sure you don’t care what my opinion is about what you look like, though.

  61. George Cauldron says

    steve, george, he knows if he states his beliefs he’ll just get ripped to shreds. he probably has some crazed ID-ish mishmash garbage stuff, the heretical kind that doesn’t even fit into his own worldview, causing some cognitive dissonance.

    Probably true, but I can’t imagine what answer Jinx could give that would make us have an even LOWER opinion of him than we do now…

    A shame to see such a pompous blowhard Christian who doesn’t even have the courage of his convictions. Tsk, tsk.

  62. Steve_C says

    Wow. You’re really lame. I’m here now and you could just say… “I love me some Hovind creationism… it’s the best!!! or “I think da earf is like really old and shit… but god is too. I’ll go with it’s old but god still did it.” OR even “I hate PZ’s guts but it pains me to admit it, I’m actually an Evolutionist. But I still love me some baby Jesus.”

  63. says

    i love how jinx takes a comment and its suddenly a LIE! LIE! LIE! Note how he didn’t address any of your substance in “the essential jinx”? hi-larious.

  64. George Cauldron says

    To whom? You? Well, to me, you look like a pathetically obsessed, lazy bigot. I’m sure you don’t care what my opinion is about what you look like, though.

    Yes or no, lazy weasel.

    I think you’re ASHAMED! Prove you’re not ashamed! If we’re all going to hell for not sharing your beliefs, isn’t it your duty as a True Christian to tell us what they are?

    C’mon, WITNESS, Jinx!

  65. says

    I don’t get it, Jason, you’ve got three different blogs – hell I have a hard enough time finding time and content for one, I guess you’ve got more time on your hands than I.

    A nice blog entry of your beliefs would be appropriate – then you could just drop a hyperlink everytime you were asked.

    That would certainly put us all in our place!

    Right?

  66. says

    people who fight a “yes” or “no” answer this hard make me believe they’re lying about something, selling something, or so full of shit their eyes are brown. just a hunch, but i think jinx might be ALL THREE! the freakin’ trifecta. tres bien, douchebag!

  67. B. B.Breece says

    My heart swells with pride as yours surely must. The prevaricating creationists and their supporters must attack your tatics. They know that any discussion of science would leave them looking like even bigger fools then they already are. I am highly honored to have shaken your hand. Congratulations Professor Indeed.

  68. Alex says

    To me it just seems Jason doesn’t want to deal with the intellectual frustration that will rain down on him after he states his irrational assertions. It must suck to constantly get pummeled with factual data and empiricle evidence that confounds your world-view.

    Or maybe he’s finally realizing that just because a person believe’s in something with all their heart, doesn’t make it true or real.

    Or he could just be a deranged lunatic.

  69. gwangung says

    I’m not afraid or ashamed to answer those or any other questions. But I’ve answered your questions already either here or elsewhere. If you missed them (either through not paying attention or through the act of someone else deleting my answers), tough luck. I don’t answer questions to satisfy the bloated egos of arrogant, insulting blowhards.

    Sorry, but we’ve heard similar blather before. And it was all lies.

    Pardon us if we consider you a liar, but if you act like a like, quack like a liar, then don’t be surprised if we consider you a liar.

    You have no integrity, and you sully the name of Christian by claiming to be one.

  70. says

    I was uneasy with those remarks about the steel-toed boots and brass nuckles the first time I saw them. They are a problem because, if we want to dun Ann Coulter for her advocacy of violence it gives her quite a bit of wiggle room.

    Remember our enemies are literalists – it’s in their charter. Not saying we must then be confined to literalism but there’s no sense setting up the need to defend tangents.

  71. paleotn says

    “I don’t answer questions to satisfy the bloated egos of arrogant, insulting blowhards.”

    Irony, thy name is Jason.

  72. says

    alex: another trifecta! this guy’s on a roll.

    he has successfully hijacked the thread away from patting PZ on the back tho. a toast to the prof!

  73. Steve_C says

    All I get from his websites is that he loves him some jesus, and unborn babies and hates PZ. Oh and he hates democrats too.

    He doesn’t really post many views of his own. They’re probably pretty in line with James Dobson. The gay hating freak from Colorado.

  74. paleotn says

    Indeed. Nice work, Prof. Congrats.

    “He has said that Abraham was worse than Hitler (Myers, 2005c). He has ridiculed the crucifixion of Christ (Myers, 2005d).”

    Yea? So? What’s their point?

  75. says

    Instead of school busing and prayer in schools, which are both controversial, why not a joint solution? Prayer in buses. Just drive these kids around all day and let them pray their fuckn’ empty little heads off.
    — George Carlin, Brain Droppings

    banana banana banana banana!

  76. says

    Oops just john! I really wasn’t taunting! (darn it, I didn’t add a smily icon!) I honestly thought you wanted to know how to post a link and was trying to be helpful! Please excuse!

    But now, at least in THIS thread, ‘people’ know how to post a link.

  77. George Cauldron says

    Sorry about that. Jason had to be hounded out of here before we could clear the decks.

    *ahem*

    PZ, you didn’t make Horowitz’s “Top 101 Most Wicked Liberal Perfessers”, right? Well this makes up for that nicely.

    One to add to your CV. ;-)

  78. Chris Crawford says

    Steve and George, you are harassing Jason. This is not gentlemanly behavior. Surely we can all behave ourselves here. We can disagree with each other without getting nasty. Let’s not besmirch the joy of PZ’s Very Special Day with such childish ugliness.

    And I’d like to add my own congratulations to the long list offered here.

  79. Alex says

    Garth,

    I’m just trying to encourage rational discourse. I’ve had my fun with Jason in the past and truthfully, am over it. There’s only so many trips around the merry-go-round of lunacy one can stomach.

    That being said, you’re right.

    Congrats PZ. I’m sorry Jason had to foul-up this thread. ;-)

  80. commissarjs says

    George Cauldron,

    As an example to Jason would you please answer these 3 questions for me.

    1) Do you believe in geocentrism?

    2) Do you accept the validity of the Germ Theory of Disease?

    3) What is the best single topping for pizza?

    Answering these 3 simple questions should alleviate any fear Jason has and will perhaps stop him from breaking the 8th commandment in the future.

  81. Scott Hatfield says

    PZ:

    I confess more than a twinge of envy, as I’ve only been disparaged second-hand in the literature myself. I’ll have to content myself with the knowledge that the die-hard YEC types actually hate believers like me as much, if not more.

    Congratulations! …Scott

  82. Hank Fox says

    Sincere congrats, PZ!

    While I can think of better honors than being hated by evil fools, there’s no doubt this is a true honor, well worth a little unselfconscious pride.

    The rest of you: This is PZ’s moment. Leave Jason alone. It’s like you’ve discovered a dog turd on the lawn at a wedding reception, and you’re spending the rest of the evening huddling around it and remarking on how disgusting and stinky it is, rather than enjoying the beautiful event.

  83. says

    alex: not chiding anyone, just thought it deserved mention. notice how i did a crazy off-topic post seconds after i mentioned it? its because i’m shameless.

    i thought your trifecta was great!

  84. aiabx says

    PZ-
    Your talk about steel-toed boots and brass knuckles makes me sick. You are supposed to be a professor, a teacher of tomorrow’s leaders, and this is the kind of violence you are espousing? A lead pipe will give you more reach and more leverage when you connect, as will a monkey wrench or an axe handle. Don’t be soft on the bastards.

  85. Alex says

    Garth,
    I didn’t take it as chiding. You’re comment was appropriate, and thanks for the compliment.

  86. says

    Did you see that CRS has their own peer reviewed journal?

    I like how kind… CRS is about their journal:

    Subscriptions are available for libraries, schools, churches, and otherwise institutions or individuals who do not agree with the Society’s Statement of Belief.

    How nice. It doesn’t seem to say what is reqired to publish in their journal, but I’d assume that an author would have to agree with their statement of belief as a minimum.

    PZ, this is just a guess, but I’d bet they wouldn’t welcome original work from you, no matter how religious neutral your article might be.

  87. says

    Jason:

    You mean my “illustrious past” as in “a couple days ago?” I answered your questions (the one about being a subscriber just now, in fact). Search through the past comments yourself for the answer to your other question. I’m not your mommy.

    And

    George, you’re obviously a fan of Canadian Cynic and have followed his little vendetta against me for a while. Won’t he tell you what I answered when he asked the question you’re so obsessed with? Are you afraid or ashamed to ask him?

    OK, I’ve been hanging around here for a month or four now. I don’t believe that I have ever seen or heard of this “Canadian Cynic” fellow, so I have no way of tracking him down to ask him. And if your relationship with him(?) was one best described as a “vendetta”, why would you trust him to tell the truth about you? Wouldn’t it be more sensible of you to set the record straight yourself?

    In the time that I’ve been following this blog, every time I’ve seen you asked questions about your faith, your response is “I told you that before, so I don’t have to do so now”. Following the comment I quoted above, I’ve just gone through every post within the last week, and I can’t find any answer to these questions. Even the most liberal interpretation of “a couple” surely forces it to be less than 7, so I’m inclined to think that your claim to have answered these questions recently is a lie, which I understand is one of the Big 10. Of course, as I’ve commented before, lying doesn’t seem to be out of character for you.

    It’s possible, of course, that I’ve overlooked your answers – after all, I was skimming through what felt like 50-75 posts, many with hundreds of comments, and I am far from omniscient. As I was always taught that a gentleman is someone who never insults someone by accident, I never feel comfortable insulting people without cause. If it would be possible for you to point out where you answered these questions most recently, I will apologise profusely, and do what I can to convince people here that you are intellectually honest, and deserving of a fair hearing. Hell, I’ll even go so far as to send you the princely sum of $10 (alas, I have little disposable income, and I have no desire to bluff by promising more than I can afford to lose).

    I really have difficulty understanding why you would go to such effort to refuse to answer two one-word questions, when most Christians will be happy to talk about their beliefs any chance they get. By my count, you have pointedly refused to answer nine times in this tread alone. Why?

  88. Ichthyic says

    the one thing Jason isn’t obfuscating about is that he did “attempt” to answer your question a couple of days ago.

    However, the answer itself was pure obfuscation.

    IIRC, he answered it by saying (paraphrasing):

    “I don’t pay attention to dates in my theology”.

    so if a non-answer qualifies as an answer to Jason, then yeah, he “answered” your question.

    personally, I found the non-answer more than a bit, er, evasive…

    (to put it mildly).

    using deductive reasoning, one can only conclude you are correct in thinking him afraid to answer such a simple question.

    I just don’t understand why. does he think anybody here could possibly think less of him? Is he afraid he will get more junk mail if he categorizes himself?

    what?

  89. Mena says

    The essential Jinx:

    Jinx: “I am a deeply religious Christian. Christianity guides my life. I am a better person than any atheist. If you continue to be an atheist, you’re going to hell”.

    Other Person: “Really? What kind of Christian are you?”

    Jinx: “I refuse to answer that question. I already told someone several months ago.”
    True, but just start ignoring the CINO. He’s a (dare I say it?) troll who is just making crap up to be offended about when there isn’t anything. Is that belief statement really that important to him or to anyone else? Will civilization end if he did in fact do something like that? Is it part of the abortionist/homosexual agenda or something? I do agree that if he was really a Christian he would answer your questions, he is redundant to the point of being predictable (like a Bush speech) with everything else. He’s a Christian in name only and not worth the time.

  90. Ichthyic says

    “I told you that before, so I don’t have to do so now”.

    “I told you once; I’m not allowed to argue unless you’ve paid.”

    ahh, would that jason were as witty as Cleese.

  91. says

    Oh man, so very not fair. I’ve been mocking the crucifixion for YEARS and no one’s ever written an article about me. One of my all time favorite jokes:

    Why did Jesus Christ cross the road?

    Page down for answer

    He was nailed to a chicken. Heeeee. I can never tell this joke without laughing hysterically.

    MKK

  92. juju-quisp says

    Hank Fox,
    It more is like poking and prodding a dog turd to see what filthy creatures emerge from it out of curiosity while Halle Berry and Angelina Jolie are making out in the bed right next to you.

  93. randy says

    But surely only the “lunatics and idiots” have anything to fear from you. So are those complaining agreeing that they are members of that group?

  94. George Cauldron says

    George Cauldron,
    As an example to Jason would you please answer these 3 questions for me.
    1) Do you believe in geocentrism?
    2) Do you accept the validity of the Germ Theory of Disease?
    3) What is the best single topping for pizza?

    Certainly.

    1) no, 2) yes, and 3) sun-dried tomatoes.

    There, SEE, JINX! I’m a WICKED LIBERAL and *I* was able to answer the questions! What’s wrong with YOU??

  95. Steve_C says

    Who’s O’Brien talking to and what’s he going on about?

    He can’t bare Jason to hijack the post before him. The Troll DH has stepped into the batters box. Don’t pitch to him. Just bean him on the ass and give him the walk.

  96. Steve_C says

    sun-dried tomatoes?!?!?! You volvo driving latte sipping Vermont liberal!!!!

    Gots to be Pepperoni yo. Sorry if I offend the vegans. They make soy pepperoni?

  97. says

    In a way they have a point. When is violence ever a good way to solve differences, even as something as no-brainer as evolution/creationism? Even if the threat of violence is said tongue-in-cheek (as I assume PZ’s is), how many times have liberals critized conservatives for espousing violence in a similar offhanded manner?

  98. George Cauldron says

    sun-dried tomatoes?!?!?! You volvo driving latte sipping Vermont liberal!!!!

    I KNEW someone would make a comment on that., :-)

    Sun-dried tomatoes are a foundation. Whatever you put on top of the SDT’s is a secondary issue. It won’t be a truly transcendent pizza without them.

    I couldn’t be a Vermont liberal. I couldn’t handle their winters.

  99. Steve_C says

    He was talking about taking the gloves off in a rhetorical way. Not difficult concept.

    Ann Coulter is never rhetorical.

  100. BlueIndependent says

    Jason: “George, you’re obviously a fan of Canadian Cynic and have followed his little vendetta against me for a while. Won’t he tell you what I answered when he asked the question you’re so obsessed with? Are you afraid or ashamed to ask him?”

    The thot plickens…

    So you’re running around the “internets” putting together your own little conspiracy theory to make yourself feel righteous…hmmm. Interesting what you spend your time on.

    You seem to be exhibiting revulsion at this “question”, which kind of, oh I don’t know, plays into the idea that you dodge every little thing you’re asked.

    And then you throw in some lame attempt at redirection to confuse someone challenging you, by telling them to ask others what you’ve answered to their question(s) on other random blogs? This is, dare I say it, proof you’re dodging. How am I to know you’re the same Jason on another blog? This isn’t even a “nice try” at best. Of course, you didn’t even post a link to this “Canadian Cynic” person. Doesn’t surprise me. People pushing misguided and intentionally disingenuous religious agendas can never seem to get5 around to posting links to whatever it is they claim proves their point.

    Come on, seriously Jason. The first step on the road to truth is admitting you have a problem.

  101. BlueIndependent says

    Jason’s high school teacher: “What is your favorite color?”

    Jason: GO ASK MY FIRST GRADE TEACHER! STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!

    That is the sum total of your argument.

  102. Scott Hatfield says

    At the risk of offending certain trolls here, it seems on point to quote scripture:

    “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts; and always be ready to give an answer to everyone who asks you a reason concerning the hope that is in you, with humility and fear…”

    I Peter 3:15

  103. Millimeter Wave says

    Even if the threat of violence is said tongue-in-cheek (as I assume PZ’s is)

    It wasn’t tongue in cheek, it was metaphorical. Of course, it was always inevitable that those with a persecution complex would interpret it as if it was literal.

  104. says

    Yes, entirely metaphorical. I endorse these people’s right to exist, to vote, to be fully involved members of society, to be safe from harm, no matter how stupid they are. But we need to stomp hard on their ideas. There is a very annoying reluctance on our side of the debate to call lunacy on what it is…and that gives the other side a real edge, in that they can say the most amazingly idiotic things, and we let them slide by.

    They can accuse every legitimate scientist in the world of being in a conspiracy, of faking their data, and oh, no, we mustn’t point out that everything they say is a lie, and that their creaky old ideas with which they want to replace modern science weren’t worth a bucket of piss in the 19th century…why, that would be rude. And the dumbest argument of all: that might alienate the people we want to persuade. Oh, yeah, and us quivering in our boots, afraid to speak out boldly against evangelical dimbulbs, is exactly the strategy that will convince many that our side of the argument is the right one.

  105. says

    “I Peter 3:15”

    And New Testament as well, very good, as it doesn’t fall victim to the “Haysoos made a ‘new covenant'” argument.

    Well done indeed.

  106. Alex says

    Blue,

    DOH! OK, I’m feeling a little embarrassed….shame on me indeed.

    OK, there, I’m over it….all better. (I hope my point still stands).

  107. says

    Oh, and, I’ve been lurking for about a month now. For my second comment, I’d like to add my Congratulations! to the long list above.

    I really enjoy reading this blog PZ. Thank you and conrgratulations!

  108. Rey Fox says

    2005d? Ah, that was just ridicule by proxy, he didn’t actually make that film. Come on, CRS, you can do better than that?

    Oh, and how’s the “research” going?

  109. says

    OOOH! SOMEONE SPELLED SOMETHING WRONG!!!! OMG!!1!! LOLO!1!!!! PWNED!!!!!!!!

    jesus h. christ on a pogo stick. try answering substance you giant sand-filled douche. Oh, I forgot, you CAN’T, because you have none.

    I hate trolls. I’ll stop feeding this one. over and out.

  110. says

    I would say, “Why don’t you lobotomize these Conservative asswigs?” but, something tells me that a full frontal lobotomy wouldn’t do much to a twit like Ann Coulter.

  111. says

    I think I may have spotted an error in the CRS article. According to the journal’s about page it dates from 1869.

    Do I win a prize?

  112. Torbjörn Larsson says

    Due honors, and in the expected manner. Congrats, PZ!

    “Why did Jesus Christ cross the road?”
    Jesoos jokes? I have never felt the need for religious jokes, but of course everything should be joked about.

    Let’s see:
    – Why did Buddha cross the road?
    To be reborn as a chicken.

    -Why did Abrahams god cross the road?
    To check the chicken wing design for his angels.

    -Why did Pauls god cross the road?
    To retrieve the nails from his son for the temple construction.

    -Why did the FSM cross the road?
    Error code 666: you can’t prove that.

  113. goddogit says

    And from far Nippon, おめでとうございました! お酒は、二本下さい!

  114. George Cauldron says

    What is the best single topping for pizza?
    sun-dried tomatoes.]
    Heathen.

    I once knew a person who swore by Spam slices. Is that better?

  115. Todd Adamson says

    Stop feeding the trollz and post more Jesus jokes. Here’s a nice little hymn I learned from alt.atheism years ago.

    I love Jesus yes I do
    Baked or broiled or in a stew
    I love Jesus yes siree
    fried or grilled or fricasee

    With peas or corn or even yams
    Eat your Jesus fresh or canned
    No substitutes don’t fall for shams
    no need to even wash your hands

    Cook your Jesus in the crunch
    Kids love Jesus for their lunch
    I love Jesus yes I do
    I love Jesus you will too

  116. Matt T. says

    My favorite joke involving the late J.C.:

    And Jesus said unto them, “And whom do you say that I am?”

    They replied, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed.”

    And Jesus replied, “What?”

    Never fails to leave me in a fit of giggles, I have no idea why. It’s a frustrating joke to tell in certain circles, though.

    And what do you get when you cross a Jehovah’s Witness with a Hell’s Angel? Someone who knocks on your door on Saturday mornings and tells you to fuck off.

  117. says

    Just thought I’d add my congratulatins to your notoriety, PZ. I checked at your blog because of the Nature article, and I must say it brightens my day.

  118. says

    I also have some Jesus questions for everyone.

    What would Jesus do on St. Patrick’s Day?

    Get Hammered.

    What would Jesus do in a gay bar?

    Get Nailed.

  119. says

    “Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.” – Denis Diderot

    That’s a radical atheist.

  120. Kayla says

    Awesome! You know you’re doing good when the creationists actually seem to view you as a threat. :)

  121. NelC says

    This may be heresy to the pastafarians out there, but I have a couple of friends who don’t like tomatoes of any description, and I’ve often wondered about making pizza with something else other than a tomato base. Say with carbonara sauce or something.

  122. Torbjörn Larsson says

    “And what do you get when you cross a Jehovah’s Witness with a Hell’s Angel? Someone who knocks on your door on Saturday mornings and tells you to fuck off.”

    Or worse, someone who breaks into your bed room and tells you he loves you.

    – What do you get when you cross an evilutionist with a cretinist?

    Apes that monkey with religion.

  123. Torbjörn Larsson says

    – Why can’t you cross atheists and theists?

    Because “a (theist)^2” has too low fitness.

  124. Torbjörn Larsson says

    “Because “a (theist)^2″ has too low fitness.”

    Uuups, that went to fast, it became bigoted. Better change that to:

    – Why can’t you cross atheists and theists?

    Because “a (theist)^2” has no meaning.

  125. Carlie says

    “but I have a couple of friends who don’t like tomatoes of any description, and I’ve often wondered about making pizza with something else other than a tomato base. Say with carbonara sauce or something.”

    NelC: Garlic pizza. It may be a northeast thing – I had never encountered it until I moved to upstate New York. Even the grade school lunch menu here has it occasionally. You have to approach it as if it is not a pizza; however, if you can get your mind around it, it’s pretty good. I don’t know how to make it, but it’s basically very garlicky pizza with sort of an alfredo sauce (instead of tomato), heavy on the Parmesan. I poked around on the internets and saw several variations. Then again, I also live in the land of tomato pie, which is an abomination best left walled off never to be seen by decent folk, so maybe the garlic pizza isn’t common anywhere else either.

    This is how religious and sheltered a life I had growing up: I didn’t even know there were such things as Jesus jokes.
    Jehovah’s Witnesses, sure, but Jesus? No way. Tell more!

  126. melior says

    Mocking the Virgin Birth is a lot of fun, too.

    I love to ask them how they’d react if their 16-year-old daughter tried that one on them.

  127. gregonomic says

    NelC,

    Also look for white pizza – just mozzarella and ricotta, with some herbs thrown in. Frickin’ amazing.

  128. Ktesibios says

    Umm, the word “pizza” actually refers only to the round, flat bread substrate. The tomato and cheese and other things topped concoction we call “pizza” in the USA is more accurately called pizza alla Napolitana, Neapolitan pizza.

    So it would seem that you can put anything at all that you like on top of the bread and it will still be a pizza.

  129. Dustin says

    Yeah, it’s telling that these people get up in arms when you insult a guy who was going to make a burnt offering of his son because the voices in his head told him to do it.

    Also, Jason said:

    Jumped on the Post button too quick.

    As though we needed him to explain his chronic posting-before-thinking problem to us. At least he’s admitted he has a problem and that is, after all, the first step in correcting it.

  130. Graculus says

    in actuality we would all be more than satisfied delivering intellectual blows to their sorry asses.

    You can’t deliver an intellectual beat-down to someone with no intellect. I’ll settle for leaving them emotionally scarred.

  131. Soren Kongstad says

    Jees

    You don’t need tomato for Pizza.

    Slice a baking potato in thin thin slices. Toss the slices with fresh fosemary and olive oil.

    Make the dough, and form the pizza.

    Spread a top grade extra virgin olive oil on the dough. Sprinkle with salt.
    Slice a buffalo mozarello cheese and spread it on the dough.

    Add the rosemary and olive oil soaked potatoes in one layer on top of the cheese

    Now bake the pizza in a very hot oven until it looks nice browned and finished.

    For laughs add cubed bacon to the topping, or sliced parma ham.

  132. Maronan says

    Congrats, PZ!

    Discussion question: When creationists pass off mined quotes (or metaphors as literal statements, like in this case), do they know that they’re working to deceive? Are they lazy, and skim through publications, looking for usable phrases while not comprehending the rest? Do they know that they’re essentially lying, but think it’s justified because they’re promoting Truth as they see it? Do they honestly believe that a biologist who says the word “design” means intelligent design, or that a paper describing a flagellum as being like a motor means that it’s literally a motor?

    Question to which I probably know but refuse to believe the answer: Are there people who actually believe that an organization with a “statement of belief” is scientific? Maybe I’m just a heathen liberal ignostic, but saying “we decide on our conclusions before doing research*, and we won’t let you join us unless you agree with our conclusion before reading our works” kind of undermines scientific credibility, to use a deliberate understatement.

    Also, the “scientific discussions of controversial issues” bit is quite hilarious. Evolution is a “controversial issue” in which there is debate between two roughly equal sides, AND evolution has “absolute power,” as evidenced by the fact that everyone accepts except a few creationists who are viewed as crackpots. They couldn’t even write one paragraph without contradicting themselves.

    I should say, as a closing note, that I do believe that some life and some worlds are intelligently designed. Unfortunately, the planet Magrathea has closed down, so it is unlikely that there will be any more. Intelligent design of planets and their native life is a great idea, but the galactic economy just can’t support it anymore.

    *Of course, creationists don’t do research. Perhaps I should have said “before looking at any research” or words to that effect.

  133. Kayla says

    Do they know that they’re essentially lying, but think it’s justified because they’re promoting Truth as they see it?

    A couple years back, I read a creationist book aimed at fundies (forget which one, I read a bunch, but it was by one of the major creationist writers) for a project I was doing, and the author actually came out and said that it didn’t matter whether creationist claims were true or not, as long as they got people to believe in Jesus.

  134. says

    Clearly, you must be doing something right!

    Recently in a discussion group of mostly quite zealous young earth creationists (in fact, I think most of them are fundamentalist preachers), one of them commented that I did not have their respect. I immediately responded by thanking him for pointing that out, because I knew that if young earth creationists respected me I’d know I’d screwed up royally.

  135. says

    Just wondering, did the creationists understand that Nature simply listed the top blogs by traffic (and hence, was not making endorsements), or is that, like so many other things, beyond their comprehension?

  136. says

    Ktesibios: So, in other words, those weird squid ink-based pizzas from Japan are legit?

    As for the thread topic, well, what an honour … I guess soon PZ will be as vilified as Dennett and Dawkins and perhaps a few other non-D people.

  137. David Wintheiser says

    Just adding my ‘congrats’ to the general chorus, and adding a religion joke to the general pile:

    A devout man is approaching the local community center for a revival meeting when he spots a young boy with a crate of puppies near the entrance. Attached to the crate is a hand-painted sign: “Christian puppies for sale.”

    The devout man walks up to the boy and asks, “Young man, are these truly Christian puppies?”

    “Yes, sir,” replies the boy, in a suitably humble tone.

    “Very well, then, I shall purchase one, and God bless you.”

    The following week, the devout man is returning to the community center to protest at a meeting of skeptics and freethinkers when he spots the same young boy and his crate of puppies near the entrance. Only this time, the hand-painted sign is different: “Atheist puppies for sale.”

    The devout man storms up to the young boy. “Young man,” he says angrily, “Just last week you sold me a Christian puppy, and now you seem to be selling the same animals as atheist puppies! Just what is the meaning of this?”

    “Well, sir,” replies the boy in a self-assured tone, “these puppies have their eyes open.”

  138. Eisnel says

    I’m so envious of PZ! The IDers often claim that scientists are afraid of ID (because responding to ID’s nonsense apparently equals fear). Could this be a sign that IDers and creationists are afraid of PZ? That’s fantastic!

    “I’d like to take a moment to talk about the ocean. It’s either what we crawled out of, or were created three days after.” – Jon Stewart

  139. Fencer X says

    Congrats PZ. I’d also like to add my fav crucifixion joke (too bad this thread is long dormant, maybe I’ll repost on a more current one sometime). Disclosure – this joke is very inappropriate both morally and historically but we jews need to know how to laugh at this kind of thing.

    Jesus and Satan are discussing which of them is more influential. Satan says that the current state of the world, filled with hedonism, violence and materialism, clearly shows that he is the more influential figure. Jesus says that there is no way that can be true. People are inherently good and his teachings have been spread far and wide. In response Satan issues a challenge. He will place Jesus down anywhere on Earth he pleases and if Jesus can’t find someone who recognizes him after talking to 5 people he will lose the bet. Jesus accepts and Satan instantly transports him to the middle of rural China.
    Jesus quickly talks to the first five people he meets but no one has any idea who he is. Dejected he goes back to Satan.
    “That was very unfair Satan.”
    Satan agrees and decides to give him another shot. With a wave of his hand he sends Jesus into the middle of Calcutta India.
    Jesus is more careful this time but after speaking to five people he can’t find anyone who recognizes him.
    Again he returns to Satan’s side, and he is starting to get depressed. Satan agrees to give Jesus one last chance and sends him to times square in New York City.
    “Ah finally,” thinks Jesus “surely I’ll be able to find someone who realizes who I am here.”
    He runs over to the nearest person who happens to be a Jewish rabbi.
    “Rabbi, do you know who I am?” Jesus asks.
    The Rabbi replies, “Hmmm, I’m not sure, you seem so familiar. Here walk with me a bit and I’m sure it will come to me.”
    The two of them walk for a bit and Jesus asks again, “So do you recognize me yet?”
    “No, no, but it’s right on the tip of my tongue, here come back to my house and I’m sure my memory will be refreshed.”
    So they walk to the Rabbi’s house and go in. Again Jesus asks if he recognizes him.
    “Hmm, so familiar…but I still just can’t quite place you. Here go and stand over by that wall on that chair.”
    Jesus walks over and stands on the chair. “Well, anything?”
    “Could you hold your arms out for me?” Asks the Rabbi.
    Jesus holds his arms out and as he does so the Rabbi grabs a handful of nails and a hammer, runs over to Jesus and nails him to the wall.
    “Ha got you again you bastard!”