A lot of people – myself included – have drunk the kool-aid,
Prevaricating propaganda about how ivory-billed woodpeckers
Really are extinct, gone forever.  And yet, the last time that
I hiked the Appalachian Trail, what did I behold?  ‘Round the
Largest oak tree I’ve e’er seen, a convocation of the beasts!

Furiously they beat their beautiful wings, roaring above me,
Over oaken boughs that had been pecked most righteously.
Obviously I would have taken a picture with my cellphone,
Like I know how this all sounds, but you must believe me!
Such is my luck, I had no battery.  And then they were gone…

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They say we shouldn’t do April Fools jokes anymore, but mine are pretty obvious and harmless, right?  I don’t know.  I’ve never gotten an amazing response to them, and the joke may be years overdue for retirement.  Still, I didn’t have any better ideas for a post today, so here you go.

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