Things are easier to cook when they’re thin. You don’t have to cook them as long, so there’s less risk of overcooking if you watch what you’re doing. And more importantly, less risk of some shit being burnt on the outside and raw or cold on the inside, which is an absolutely vile result. I’m willing to bake or nuke something that comes with simple instructions, but otherwise it’s slicin’ and using a frying pan.
It’s also cool because you can get more of that crisp element of frying. The outer edges and surface get crisp, and the thinner what you’re cooking is, the more of each bite that will posses that quality. If it’s a vegetable I’m cooking, thin slices. I don’t like the crunch of veggies, and thin veggies get soft faster in the pan. Soft veggies for flavor, crisp meat or cheese… That’s the goods.
Even when cooking isn’t a consideration, I cut thin. I got the idea from David Lynch. Not to sound like a freak; feel like I’ve been mentioning him too much recently. Some years ago I was watching an episode of Twin Peaks where Joan Chen was being tormented by (spoiler), losing her mind in the kitchen. Her mental state was illustrated by having her slice an apple. In America we almost always slice apples in wedges of roughly equal dimensions, but she was slicing it thin, like cheese or deli meat.
The scene had a sensuous quality, but maybe I just imagine that because Joan Chen is too beautiful. Surely, she wasn’t supposed to be seen as erotic or romantic in that moment, not exactly. But she can thin slice me any day, I tell you whut.
There’s an Electric Six song called Slices of You, and it’s not one of their best. It’s fine. But I think of this part from the breakdown, sometimes when I’m joanchenning an apple: “Everywhere I go, people ask me Valentine, what’s your recipe for love? And I always tell them the same thing. Cook the hell out of it, and SLICE IT.”
Anyway, I think about this often enough that I wondered if I’d already written a blog post on the subject, and I searched the archive here. You know how many occurrences of the word “slice” there are on this blog? I haven’t written about this exact subject before, but I’m starting to wonder if I have a problem here.
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