The Dirtiest Word In Politics: “Atheist”

In case you’d forgotten, we thought we’d remind you
With data that show a continuous trend
The electorate never will gather behind you
Unless you declare your invisible friend

Political races are known to be dirty—
With negative messages, branding, and hype;
The numbers today show at best around thirty
Percent who would vote for an atheist type

Yes, “godless” is hopeless in voters’ opinion
A view in which humans are nothing but beasts
Morality’s seen as the church’s dominion
(As evidenced clearly by pedophile priests)

Two thirds of the country is “somewhat” or “very
Uncomfortable” letting an atheist lead;
They’d rather Santorum, or Gingrich, or Perry—
They’re morons, but morons who follow a creed.

Until and unless they have power and money
They won’t be invited, or asked to the dance
The clowns are in charge, but it just isn’t funny:
In politics, atheists don’t stand a chance.

Context, after jump: [Read more…]

Last Tuesdayism

So I’ve been having a bit of fun at a tiny little internet backwater. Hey, it’s what I do sometimes. Don’t judge me!

Anyway, I noticed today that somebody invoked the idea of “Last Tuesdayism” which (by the blog author’s argument) all of us, in order to be intellectually consistent, must remain agnostic about. Thus, today’s little ditty.

Only last Tuesday, a quarter past four,
The universe was, when it wasn’t before!
The whole of the universe started to be,
Which it hadn’t at all, at a quarter past three.
Existence itself, in the blink of an eye;
No reason for billions of years to go by.

Of course, it looks old—that’s the way it was done,
Looking old from the instant it all had begun;
The universe looks like it has a real past,
And one that seems incomprehensively vast
It seems there are billions of years to explore
But it started last Tuesday, a quarter past four.

The earth and the heavens, the sun and the stars,
The mountains, the oceans, the cities, the cars,
The falsified memories that seem to be real,
Each trip to the doctor, each holiday meal,
Each nursery school freeze-tag or hide-and-go-seek,
Each one an illusion from early last week.

Each fossil was planted, and each sacred scroll,
Each childhood memory, made up in whole,
Your very first friend, and the first one you kissed
Another illusion to add to the list.
No God whatsoever creating a scene,
And nothing at all from before 4:15.

There is no “last month”, and there is no “last year”,
Just Tuesday and later, that’s perfectly clear.
The scientists’ “billions of years” is a guess,
Like the people who say it’s six thousand or less—
They each claim their evidence tells them what’s true,
And they haven’t a clue that they haven’t a clue.

So how do I know what I’m telling you now?
If it’s all manufactured last Tuesday, then how?
You can’t trust the science; religion is bunk;
You can’t trust your senses, cos all of it’s junk;
No possible way that the real truth can show,
So how do I know it? That’s it—I just know.

Religion and science are two different ways
We can look at the world—that’s what everyone says.
But really, why limit ourselves just to these?
My Tuesdayist view is as good, if you please!
It’s as old as the others, so please don’t ignore—
Cos they all started Tuesday, a quarter past four.

As usual, more after yon jumpage: [Read more…]

The Theist And The Blade Of Grass

I don’t have any time today, so here’s something from 2-1/2 years ago, that nobody read back then:

John Holbo of Crooked Timber has newly acquired a wonderful old book, in which he finds a poem, “The Atheist and the Acorn“. Go read it! Then maybe my little verse will make more sense.

Methinks this “God” is strangely made
For something of such worth,
An introspective theist said
As plucked he up a single blade
Of grass, from off the earth:

Behold, quoth he, this tiny thing,
This single blade of grass,
Enough to make Walt Whitman sing—
They grow in millions every spring
Unnoticed as we pass.

But God counts every single leaf,
Each hair upon your head
(For bald men, he just counts their grief)
The reason that we know? In chief,
It’s what the Bible said.

But where is God when good men die
In wars, fought in His name?
He counts the grass—He can’t deny
He hears the wounded moan and cry—
He sits there, to His shame.

He mustn’t think; he mustn’t doubt,
This theist on the lawn;
His worship must remain devout;
One thought that he might do without
And poof—his God is gone.

He cannot help but smile and nod
It feels so good; so right.
He’d looked upon the face of God
And found it merely a façade—
And now he’s seen the light.

In God We Trust

Atheists! Look in your purse or your pocket;
There’s God on the money you carry around!
The motto is yours, though you atheists mock it,
And God’s how we know that our money is sound!

Your using this money is clearly hypocrisy
Atheists ought to refuse it—the fools!
Sucks to be you, though; our Christian democracy
Trusts in our God—and majority rules!

The courts say it’s legal, so quit your complaining—
No reason to get all your bills in a wad!
We Christians find atheists so entertaining—
Each time you use money, you’re praising our God!

Rant, after jump: [Read more…]

MS 26

A person’s a person, no matter how small
Like the miniscule blob of a blastocyst ball
Or an egg, when a sperm cell has happened to call
A person’s a person, no matter how small.

From Corinth to Gulfport, they’ll take to the polls
For a state-wide initiative with wide-reaching goals:
To say cells are people, with rights and with souls,
And the state, not the woman, is at the controls

The state, not the woman, can say what is best
For the baby with which the poor mother is blessed
And the choice of the mother need not be addressed
The state, not the woman, can say what is best

A person’s a person, the state will assume,
And of course this applies to a babe in the womb
(The mom’s not a person; she’s just baby’s room,
And a source of nutrition the kid will consume)

A person’s a person, as well you’re aware
And a babe needs protection—it only seems fair
Till she’s out of her mother, and breathing the air,
And the state is no longer pretending to care.

Related post: But It Was Supposed To Be A Parody!

Haughtiness

Could a rock achieve awareness, if its faith was strong enough?
(Clearly, faith would be the only way, since logic might be tough)
Could a frog achieve enlightenment? What argument convinces?
(It’s established in the literature that magic makes them princes)
Could a man conceive of heaven, while he’s here on earth, below?
Might his faith be mere delusion? How is man supposed to know?

As I’ve said elsewhere, after watching John Haught’s presentation, in his debate with Jerry Coyne, I thought Coyne should have simply taken the mic and said “See?”. (I see Ophelia Benson has just put up her own reaction, which sounds about right to me, too.)

Haught, I think, did a very good job of describing his view. The religious view he defends grew out of Plato’s notions of a hierarchy of existence, from matter to plants to animals to mankind to angels to god. The creatures on any given rung of the ladder cannot comprehend the levels above them, but may comprehend those below and beside them. The study of physics and chemistry, Haught notes, does not prepare one to speak of life, or mind, or god.

Unless I missed it, though, theologians are stuck here on the same rung as the rest of us.

Ah, but that’s where faith comes in. When you are aware of being in the grasp of something greater than yourself… that’s faith. Knowledge attained through faith cannot be spoken of literally; the language of symbol and metaphor is, however, appropriate.

Fortunately, sharing this “human” rung of the ladder with us are scientists who study human experience. Experimental psychologists, among others, can speak to the reliability of Haught’s “data”. (I wonder whether Haught chose to highlight physics and chemistry in order to draw attention away from the sciences that can and do meaningfully critique his view.) And it seems that our sensory, perceptual, memory and cognitive faculties cannot be counted on to winnow delusional chaff from heavenly wheat. Think about it–how could we possibly know which thoughts were false and which godly, unless we had some external way of knowing that we could compare our subjective assessment to?

Haught did, I think, a fantastic job of describing his world view. Unfortunately for him, by his own description, theology cannot be fact-checked against any evidence. Not only can it not be “objective”, it can’t even hope for intersubjective agreement. One person has a vision, and founds a church; another has a vision and sees a psychiatrist. The raw materials for both are the same.

How To Combat Atheism On Campus.

I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around a page I just found, on a site called “busted halo” (it’s for “spiritual seekers”). See, Cuttlefish University has, I think, 6 Christian student groups, two Jewish student groups, and an interfaith group. No atheist groups, freethinkers, secularists… So the question at the page puzzled me: “What’s the best way to combat atheism on a college campus?” (more after jump:) [Read more…]

To Phrase A Coin

The motto is “In God We Trust”;
Display it everywhere, we must!
In doing so, recall, it’s just
A hollow little phrase.
It’s on our money, even though
It lost religion long ago—
Rote repetition made it so
It’s meaningless these days.

If you’re like me, you find it odd
That those who claim to love their god
Would fight to keep this cheap façade,
Especially on money!
But now, in congress, start the fight
To grow the phrase in public sight—
Replacing God with new “God lite”
You must admit, it’s funny

Remember Teddy Roosevelt
Opposed the motto, cos he felt
It sacrilege to put on gelt,
Insulting the creator
But that was then, and this is now;
We’ll push our god; we don’t care how,
With every method we allow.
And jobs? Well, maybe later.

Rant, after jump: [Read more…]

The Church’s Last Taboo

We’ll talk about race and we’ll talk about sex,
Execution, abortion, divorce
Share power with women, admit open gays,
Make political choices, of course
We’re toppling taboos; we’re changing our ways
The choices we make, though, are funny—
The issue that none of us dare speak its name…
The final taboo… why, it’s money

Goodies, after the jump:
[Read more…]

Warning! Avert Your Eyes!

There are people teaching tolerance—
They’re marching up the block—
I thought I ought to warn you
So you wouldn’t die of shock.
Their message of diversity,
Acceptance, and respect
Will likely reach our kids, if it’s
Allowed to spread unchecked.
We must protect the children
From equality, or worse!
I recommend you read to them
This welcome bible verse.
Our Christian moral values
Are enshrined within that book

There are people teaching tolerance…
You might not want to look.

Stephanie over at Almost Diamonds has the story.