So anyway, one of my search terms today was “why the hell did god make parasites?”. I don’t think I have actually addressed that specifically (though I have mentioned parasites in one or two verses, I know), so I thought I’d do so now:
Why the hell did God make parasites?
I’d really like to know!
Does He torture us for giggles?
Does He love us even so?
Does He have a thing for hookworms?
Does He have a thing for lice?
Are the Toxoplasma gondii
Favored more than rats or mice?
Does God love His Schistosoma?
And His cuckoos in the nest
(Where they play a deadly variant
Of “Mommy loves me best!”)?
Does He have a secret fondness
For the things that make us sick?
And the logical conclusion is…
God really is a dick.
If parasites
Had plebiscites
They’d vote
To note
That persons
Were worse’n
Any biter
Or other blighter
With a little sting
Or such-like thing
When it comes to harm.
“why the hell did god make parasites?”
Practice. Then he made priests.
Following Random, perhaps I should change ‘persons’ to ‘parsons’?
(person and parson are etymologically felicitous)
Parasites are so defined in the eyes of the beholder.
Some are timid tiny bugs and some are big and bolder.
Every critter needs to eat. That bothers only those
Who don’t like ticks and tapeworms, or mold between their toes.
From tiny microbes in our shit, to human depredation,
If it’s alive it lives off something for its preservation.
At best let’s say the human role among all those is
Parasites in symbiosis.
Twain argued (somewhat sarcastically, perhaps) that “It is for our good, my child. In his wisdom and mercy the Lord sends us these afflictions to discipline us and make us better.” as when “… wasps catch spiders and cram them down into their nests in the ground — alive, Mama! — and there they live and suffer days and days and days, and the hungry little wasps chewing their legs and gnawing into their bellies all the time, to make them good and religious and praise God for his infinite mercies.”
Makes perfect sense to me!
I think it’s called “tough love”. Also known as “God works in mysterious ways”.