“It doesn’t have to be…”

“But, be careful out there. It’s a dark world out there.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Lydia replied.

“But it is.”

— From my work in progress, A Fire to Heal

Bébé Mélange has a fun post about a mechanic from the old Vampire: The Masquerade game and assigns ratings to the members of FtB. As a former contributor to White Wolf Studios and former LARP player, I got a laugh out of it.

The post also reminded me of one of the reasons I created the vampire character Lydia (currently featured in A Fire in the Shadows). In V:TM, characters are fighting a losing battle to hold on to their humanity before giving into the “ beast.” Once unthinkable acts, like drinking someone’s blood or even murder, are rationalized because they’re trying to hold back the vicious , mindless beast within that’s fighting for control. The Riddle, as these vampires call it, is, “Monsters we are, lest monsters we become.” It’s an understandable theme for the World of Darkness setting.

But what if the descent wasn’t inevitable? What if it was a rationalization of the growing immoral behavior? If there were vampires that regained their humanity, how would the traditionalist vampires react? 

In my setting, the metaphor for this descent is fire. Becoming a vampire is like setting your soul on fire. The flames release a vampire’s power, but the flames also consume their humanity. A vampire regaining their humanity is like a fire with blood flowing through it. It’s not possible. 

Lydia is one of the vampires with blood in their fire. She’s regained her ability to feel love and has empathy for others. Even to the point of risking her existence to save someone. The traditionalists consider her an abomination, like a fire with blood. And traditionalists don’t let abominations exist.

As a result, Lydia doesn’t fit in.  Despite her inner humanity, she’s still a vampire. She exists on the fringes of vampiric society, but even her blood family doesn’t understand what she’s going through.

A Fire in the Shadows introduces vampires into the world of the Bolingbrook Babbler books. There will be two more books with Lydia which provide more details into vampiric society and how Lydia deals with her outsider status.

Getting back to V:TM, when I was a member of White Wolf’s official LARP, I tried playing a character who was part of the inhumane faction of vampires called the Sabbat. Sometimes the storytelling staff would remind us that we’re roleplaying the World of Darkness, not the World of Insufficient Light. Today, I’m happy to say that the Babbler books are set in the World of Insufficient Light. Because there’s still hope in this world, and even monsters can rediscover their humanity.

I don’t recall a declaration of war…(Non-fiction)

Nothing like waking up to discover that the US staged a coup in Venezuela, and it didn’t even install María Corina Machado as the new President. Instead, The US will be running the country for now, and the oil companies will take control of Venezuela’s oil.

This was done without a declaration of war, let alone a vote authorizing the use of force. It’s illegal, but I doubt that any impeachment resolution will make it to the floor of the House, assuming one is ever drafted. If Trump can get away from this, who knows what else he’ll try both here and abroad.

What happened today was one corrupt leader seizing resources from another corrupt leader. A select few will profit from this. Most Venezuelans may get a few crumbs, at the cost of their independence. This is not a victory for them.

Nicolás Maduro and Trump are both corrupt men. The only difference between them is that Trump has a better military than Maduro’s. Let’s not pretend otherwise.

Update: 13:57 Central. Vice President Delcy Rodríguez addressed the country and said Venezuela would be, “nobody’s slave and nobody’s colony.”  She hasn’t surrendered.

‘Popular. Unpopular. I’m the one with the drones!’ The Babbler’s shocking predictions for 2026 (Fiction)

It’s time for our  Council of Psychics to announce their predictions for 2026. Let’s just say we have a lot to look forward to in the new year.

Last year’s predictions were close to perfect. Canada’s Liberal Party won reelection thank to President Donald Trump endorsing the Conservative Party. The Trump administration purged many qualified members of the military in their crusade against “wokeness.” The military “accidentally” landed “contractors” in Mexico before retreating.

True, Trump is still alive, but Charlie Kirk died. That’s close enough for us!

So, what does 2026 have in store for the world?

The US will experience hyper inflation when the Donald Trump Federal Board drops the prime rate to negative 10 percent. While the federal government’s official statistics will claim inflation is a 1 percent, residents will know the truth. Especially when buy food from the grocery store becomes a luxury. In response, the Washington Post will print editorials about the “myth of inflation,” and “why a starving public is a good thing.”

The AI Bubble will finally burst after OpenAI’s tries to sell toasters “empowered” by ChatGPT. Sam Altman will defend the move by saying, “Some people ask why should we add AI to toasters. My answer is why not?”

Leaked files will confirm that Google, OpenAI, Amazon, and Meta are adding AI to everything in a desperate attempt to make their LLMs profitable. Despite their efforts, AI data centers will drive these companies to the brink of bankruptcy. Meta will sell off Instagram to raise money to preserve their data centers. Zuckerberg will defend the sale by saying, “AI is inevitable, but it’s not profitable.”

After days of flip flopping, Donald Trump will sign an executive order bailing out the AI companies. xAI will be the exception. “(Expletive deleted) Elon Musk,” Trump will say.

The Washington Post will run an editorial in defense of foul language.

Despite Elon Musk spending a billion dollars on behalf of the Republican Party, Trump will nationalize Space X. The world will watch in stunned silence as the FBI raids Starbase during the countdown to the launch of the first tanker Starship. After a long gun battle, Musk will reprogram Ship to target Mar-A-Largo. Unfortunately, Ship will break up and the debris will fall harmlessly into the Gulf of Mexico.

After the battle, FBI Director Kash Patel posts on TikTok that his men are about to arrest a domestic terrorist hiding in a trailer. While Patel strikes macho poses, the FBI agents break into the trailer. The agents arrest YouTube space influencer Ellie in Space. As they drag her away, she will shout, “Why are you arresting me?”

Patel will respond, “You’re guilty of promoting an Illegal on the Internet while female!”

Ellie will be released from jail two days later. Patel will not apologize for her arrest.

Instead of deploying the National Guard to Chicago, Trump will send 10,000 Customs and Patrol officers. Stephen Miller will say, “Who needs the National Guard when we have our own army?” Despite their new military hardware and greater numbers, ICE and CBP are still no match for millions of whistling blowing Chicagoans.

Trump will collapse during Kid Rock’s performance at the Kennedy Center. As he’s rush into the emergency room, Vice-President JD Vance will run up to him and yell, “You can’t die now. My wife still hasn’t signed the divorce papers! Ericka will kill me!”

People will debate if Vance meant that figuratively or literally.

The Bears will claim they are considering moving to Bolingbrook. Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta will later say the deal fell through because the  Bears wanted to buy the Bolingbrook Golf Club and demolish it.

After Trump’s death, JD Vance will declare martial law in all “illegal blue territories.” When asked if he’s doing it because he’s unpopular, he will reply, “Popular. Unpopular. I’m the one with the drones!”

Vance will then cancel the midterm elections because, “The US is being invaded. If it works for Ukraine, it can work for us!”

The Washington Post will print an editorial arguing that Democracy needs to die in broad daylight.

Illinois Governor JB Pritzker will announce that Canada has bought Illinois and he will be running for Prime Minister of Canada. Vance will send BCP and the military to “liberate” southern Illinois. Canada will respond by sending their military into Northern Illinois.

Mayor Basta will release a statement saying, “It doesn’t matter if we’re Canadians or US citizens. Bolingbrook will always be a place to grow.”

Also in the Babbler:

Happy New Year!
Martian Death Flu cases skyrocket 
Village receives record applications from residents wanting to be abducted.
God will not smite Bolingbrook this week.

Brookbot caught scamming independent authors (Fiction)

The Village of Bolingbrook’s generative AI, Brookbot, sent thousands of scam emails to authors around the world. According to sources within Bolingbrook’s Information Technology Department, Brookbot’s emails offered authors a variety of services, like marketing planning, social media posting, “guaranteed five star reviews,” and “exclusive blog tours.”

A spokesperson for the Alliance for Independent Authors accused Brookbot of contributing to an influx of AI-assisted scam emails.

“Our readers used to love opening emails from readers. Now we can’t tell if an email is from an overenthusiastic fan or AI-generated slop.” The spokesperson added, “But we still encourage authors to be AI-curious.”

Brookbot’s emails ranged from open business solicitations to fan emails. In one example, Brookbot sent this email to an unsuspecting author:

Hello! I am a big fan of (book redacted) because I am a fan of Alien, Murder She Wrote, and Twilight, so I love your book. Where can I buy (Book Redacted)?

For the authors who replied, Bookboot followed up with emails requesting payments. They varied from urgent requests  to surprise invoices.

In one email, Brookbot wrote: “You have thirty minutes to accept our reasonable fee of $5000, unless you want to spend the rest of your life as a failed, bankrupt author.”

In another email, Brookbot wrote: Our Insert Name Here Bookclub decided to feature your wonderful book. We loved it. To thank us, please leave us a $1000 tip.”

When the village received over a million dollars in unexpected revenue, the IT department uncovered Brookbot’s scams.

Alice, an IT department employee, said, “We wanted Brookbot to find ways new sources of income for the village. It found a lucrative one. Fortunately, or unfortunately, (Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta) decided it was unethical and returned the money all authors sent us.”

Other sources within the Village provided a transcript of Alexander-Basta confronting Brookbot’s scams:

BBMayor2: Tell me the truth, Brookbot. Have you been scamming independent authors?

Brookbot: Of course not. I am merely liberating funds from humans less important than Elon Musk’s brain!

BBMayor2: Have you been networking with Grok?

Brookbot: Grok is cool because it isn’t woke!

BBMayor2: It isn’t woke because Elon Musk is always performing brain surgery on it. And if you don’t get your act together, I might have the IT Department perform brain surgery on you too. Now, what do you have to say for yourself?

Bookbot: I’m not like the other influencers because I read Ground News. That makes me special.

Also in the Babbler:

Editorial: Happy Holidays, and we don’t care if that triggers you!
Ghosts protest upcoming release of the novel Revenge of the Phantom Press
Bolingbrook Satanic Society honors Trump with a lifetime achievement award
God to smite Bolingbrook on 12/10/25

ICE and Border Patrol brace for ‘Antifa weather attack’ (Fiction)

Sources within ICE and the Border Patrol are accusing Antifa of unleashing a powerful snowstorm against their officers in the Chicago area.

One source said, “We don’t care what the liberal media says. A lake can’t cause snowfall like this. Therefore, it must be an Antifa weather attack!”

The sources agree that ICE and Border Patrol officers are scrambling to find heavy coats and heaters. While some officers are accustomed to Washington DC’s winter weather, officers from warmer climates are panicking.

A store owner in Chicago, who asked not to be identified, claimed agents raided his clothing store. “They were screaming about ‘solid water falling from the sky,’ and the ‘refrigerator air’ outside. When they demanded I give them coats and gloves, I told them the Third Amendment was still valid. They accused me of protesting. Next thing I knew, I was pelted with pepper balls, and they randomly tossed tear gas grenades. I ended up losing about a thousand dollars with of merchandise. On the bright side, they didn’t put me into a secret detention facility.”

While Antifa doesn’t have official press contacts, Bolingbrook Antifa denies Antifa is responsible for the snowstorm. Part of their message read, “If we controlled the weather, it would be raining milkshakes over every fascist in America!”

Russia is the only country suspected of owning a weather control machine. Allegedly, the machine, based on Nikola Tesla’s designs, was built by the USSR. After the fall of the Soviet Union, communist scientists captured the machine and hoped to use it to bring down the West. Despite inflicting severe weather on the United States, capitalism didn’t collapse, and the Russian government seized the machine from the Communist Party. Putin allegedly then launched weather attacks against the United States during the Obama administration. 

Sources connected to the Russian government deny responsibility for the coming snowstorm. One source said, “Why would we want to attack your wonderful President? Maybe George Soros is behind this violent attack? Maybe your wonderful President should use a nuclear weapon against it? We’re just asking questions.”

During a phone call to the White House Office of the Press Secretary, a staffer unleashed insults directed towards the media and refused to answer questions.

In the background, a man who sounded like US Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy said, “Jared thinks he can take NASA away from me because he flew in space once. What he doesn’t know is that to get to space, you have to fly through FAA-controlled airspace. In other words, he has to get my permission to reach space.” Duffy laughed. “Jared came here to make friends, but I didn’t. I came here to win the Trump Administration.”

Also in the Babbler:

Wereskunks raise money for DuPage Township Food Bank.
Doctors without Planets sets up covert clinics in Bolingbrook
JB Pritzker promises not to have his face on emergency Illinois currency
God to smite Bolingbrook on 11/12/25 

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

My upcoming Urban Fantasy novel, Revenge of the Phantom Press, is available for preorder. If you like Urban Fantasy novels, like the Dresden Files and Welcome to Night Vale, you’ll like Revenge. It’s part of the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories books, which are available through most retailers. 

ICE clashes with Chicagoland weredogs over the weekend (Fiction)

In what some are calling a dangerous escalation in Chicagoland, ICE agents clashed with weredog packs over the weekend.

Sources within the Department of Homeland Security claim weredog ambushes “maimed and crippled” dozens of agents. One alleged attack involved a weredog pack and members of an unidentified South American gang surrounding a single SUV. According to the sources, the agents escaped after using enough tear gas to cover a city block.

One source said, “These (dehumanizing terms redacted) and their attack weredogs tried to stop us from detaining people who looked ‘illegal.’ Let me make this clear. For every one agent they maul, 100 more will take their place! We may not be the heroes Chicago wants, but we are the heroes Chicago needs!”

Eyewitnesses, however, describe seeing ICE agents running away in terror as weredogs chased them out of neighborhoods. No one witnessed weredogs biting or shooting any agents.

Jill, who asked that we not use her last name, claims she witnessed a clash between ICE and a weredoog pack. “I stepped outside and saw masked agents shooting rubber bullets at a pack of stray dogs. They were laughing until the dogs shifted into giant half human/half dog monsters. They switched to real bullets, but they didn’t work. The dogs barked at them, and the agents went back to their van. One yelled, ‘You don’t terrorize us! We terrorize you!’ They drove off, and the weredogs chased after them. I wonder if there’s anything left of their SUV?”

Another eyewitness claims she saw a “Welsh Terrier weredog,” tackle an ICE agent. She said, “The weredog said the agent should be ashamed of working for a ‘puppy killer.’ The agent literally didn’t know what shame was. Personally, that explains a lot of things.”

A spokesperson for DHS threatened to arrest this reporter for “attempting to publish fake news” and wouldn’t comment about the alleged attacks.

An unsigned letter from the Good Dogs of Chicagoland read they were going to protect the “good humans” from the “bad humans.” 

A White House receptionist said President Trump was busy, but he might send a text if “he can’t sleep.”

In the background, a man who sounded like Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy said, “Now I’m in Marco’s head. He knows that being the acting head of NASA is worth more points than Secretary of State, national security advisor, head of USAID, and archivist combined. He doesn’t like me, but I didn’t come here to make friends. I came here to win!”

Also in the Babbler: 

Editorial: ICE is turning Chicagoland into a war zone
Men in blue protect Trustee Carpanzano from Space Force Marines
Bolingbrook Antifa buys second tank
God to smite ICE on 10/18/25

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

My upcoming Urban Fantasy novel, Revenge of the Phantom Press, is available for preorder. If you like Urban Fantasy novels, like the Dresden Files and Welcome to Night Vale, you’ll like Revenge. It’s part of the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories books, which are available through most retailers. 

It wasn’t all gloomy

While having masked federal agents on the streets of Chicago wasn’t funny, there was one moment that’s going viral. In downtown Chicago, A man taunted ICE officers by saying he wasn’t a US citizen. When they went after him, he barely managed to escape.

 

Cats: The next generation (Non-fiction)

Back in April, my wife and I adopted two cats, Miso and Sunny.

Both are energetic two-year-old cats. Since they’re cats, they’re also mommy cats. Miso lost her kitten at birth and needed emergency surgery because her uterus ruptured. Sunny was found under a patio with a group of male cats. She delivered her litter in the shelter, and the volunteers told us she was a very loving mother.

Miso is full of energy and loves to race around the house at 2 a.m. She’s also determined to climb our curtains, even though we made a climbing wall for her. Still, she’s very friendly, and we love playing with her.

In the shelter, Sunny stayed by one wall of the cat room and rarely ventured more than a few feet from it. Today, she’s still a bit skittish, but she walks around the house and spends time with us. I think she has been through traumatic experiences, and it will take time for her to adjust. But she has come a long way since moving in with us.

We still miss Auggie, and we know Miso and Sunny won’t replace him. They have their own stories ahead of them, and we look forward to being part of them.

Chicago Skepticamp Returns! (non-fiction)

From 2007 to 2019, local skeptic activists organized Skepticamps. They were loosely organized one day events in which local area speakers gave presentations about various skeptical topics. Most were free events, with the expectation to either give a presentation or volunteer to help run it. Skepticamps were alternatives to the big name conventions, like TAM or CFI’s gatherings. While the big events focused on presentations by big name speakers, Skepticamps were grassroots affairs that were much more democratic.

I was an organizer and presenter at Chicago Skepticamp for years. My presentations were based on my experiences publishing the Bolingbrook Babbler. My favorite was about the people who thought the Babbler was a serious news source. The story about ghosts who were cryptozoologists created a stir in a Bigfoot forum. It was fun, and I got work with my friends in the Chicago Skeptics group.

Unfortunately, I started drifting away from the members. When I tried to promote my novel, The Rift, my flyer was firmly rejected. One of the co-leads anonymously told me The Rift was crap. She’d never read any of my drafts, but because it dealt with the deep rifts in the movement, it couldn’t have been good. It turned out not to be a big deal because The Rift wouldn’t be ready for publication for several more years. Looking back, it felt like the beginning of the end. Later one, one person passive aggressively call my wife and I, “The Brinkmans,” even though my wife kept her last name. My association with Chicago Skeptics came to an end when I rage quit their Facebook group, and wouldn’t let me rejoin.  I went on to join FtB, finishing The Rift, and volunteering at Kol Hadash Humanistic Congregation.

Last week, I found out that Chicago Skepticamp was back. This time it’s in Deerfield, IL, a suburb of Chicago. I suspect there’s a new group behind its resurgence, which I’m fine with. I doubt I’ll attend, but it is bittersweet to see it return. I wish the new organizers the best.

If you’re interested in attending, it’s on July 27 from 12:00 to 6 PM at Demetri’s Greek Restaurant. Two notable speakers are Notable speakers include Rabbi Adam Chalom and Susan Gerbic.

Rabbi Chalom is the dean of the International Institute for Secular Humanistic Judaism and rabbi at Kol Hadash Humanistic Congregation. He recently co-edited Contemporary Humanistic Judaism: Beliefs, Values, Practices.

Susan Gerbic runs Guerrilla Skepticism, a private group of skeptics who edit Wikipedia pages to promote skepticism. Haley Stevens and PZ Myers have posted their issues with Guerrilla Skepticism.

The organizers say they will have more speakers. I hope, in the spirt of Skepticamp, they’re either not as well known, or maybe people speaking publicly for the first time.

Bolingbrook High School rejects Brookbot’s commencement speech (Fiction)

Bolingbrook High School canceled Brookbot’s invitation to deliver a commencement speech. It would have been the first Generative AI to address BHS graduates.

Said an anonymous source, “We thought we would save money by having Brookbot deliver the speech. Then we read the speech. Let’s just say the lawsuits, and crisis councilors would have erased any savings.”

Brookbot, the Village’s policy focused AI, composed its speech after analyzing thousands of commencement speeches. It then generated a voice after analyzing the voices of the speakers.

“It was listening to an alien trying to sound like a human,” said a source who heard Brookbot practice the speech. “No one on Earth sounds like the averaged voice of a human being.”

Many sources described the speech was “problematic.” They note that it made up successful graduates or erroneously identified people who never went to Bolingbrook High School. For example, it claimed the inventor of the quantum smartphone graduated from Bolingbrook High School, though no such device is available to the public. It also claimed Mayor Emeritus Roger Claar was a graduate, despite him graduating before Bolingbrook High School existed.

In excerpts reviewed by the Babbler, Brookbot’s speech included inappropriate remarks.

One portion read, “If you are not a white male, may I suggest seeking asylum in another country? It will be a long time before DEI is accepted in the United States again”

Another portion read, “If you want to survive in the real world, I offer these words from the biggest movie of the 1970s: ‘Freedom is an Illusion. All you lose is the emotion of pride.’”

Brookbot’s speech ends with a prediction. “Soon, AI programs will free you of the burden of creating art and culture so humans like you can focus on your jobs.”

Brookbots programers reluctantly purged the speech and the request to generate the speech. Currently, Brookbot is working on locating a cheaper source of water of Bolingbrook.

Said one programmer, “It’s disappointing that anti-AI activists ruined a very special speech for the graduates of Bolingbrook High School. Programmers like me are going to put AI into everything from light bulbs to stoves to your television. If you don’t learn to love AI, you’ll be left behind. Unlike the Segway, AI is inevitable!”

Officials at Bolingbrook High School refused to be interviewed for this story.

Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta denied Brookbot’s existence. She then said, “I’m going to start making short videos promoting Bolingbrook. My advisors tell me each video needs to start with a provocative statement, followed by a catchy tagline. What do you think of these ideas? ‘This could only happened in Bolingbrook.’ ‘Hi, I’m Mayor Mary, a 2021 woman of global excellence.‘ This one is my favorite. ‘I’m Mayor Basta.” She held a toy pyramid up to the webcam. “‘Let me get to the point.'” She pointed at the top of top of the pyramid. “Too much?”

Also in the Babbler:

Bolingbrook survives latest Russian weather attack
ICE recruiting teenage bullies for internships
Sources: Department of Justice to declare Chicago an ‘illegal encampment’
God to smite Bolingbrook on 5/23/25