You’re a pervert, you’re a loser, you’re ugly, You have penis envy!


Donald Trump and Wayne Allen Root (YouTube/screen grab).

Wayne Allen Root, in his latest attempt to defend the endless and mind numbing corruption on the part of the Tiny Tyrant, unleashed an incredibly immature rant against Robert Mueller. The arrested development seen in so many conservatives is rather fascinating, and the older they become, the more they regress. I can’t imagine such a rant having the slightest effect on me, being 60 years old, it’s barely worth an eye roll. I expect if Mr. Mueller was aware of it, the reaction would be the same. Someone should perhaps inform Mr. Root that such rants tend to reveal a great deal more about the ranter than anyone else.

“Robert Mueller has probably never had sex in his life,” Root said. “I know he has never had sex with a beautiful woman. Did you ever see the angry look on Robert Mueller’s face? Robert Mueller needs sex badly and he is so jealous that Donald Trump was a billionaire playboy and obviously had sex with the most beautiful women in the world.”

Hmm. Mr. Mueller is married with two children. As for the Tiny Tyrant, well, a long history of sexual assault, and a descriptor of average from a porn star. Not exactly  bragging material.

“Robert Mueller has penis envy,” he continued. “This is so obvious. This was high school, guys. In high school, there were handsome guys, and then there were handsome guys who were jocks, and then there were handsome guys who were jocks and had rich fathers. And that is Donald Trump. And then all the little nerds like Robert Mueller, who had never had sex in their whole lives, they hated the jocks, they hated the handsome guys, and they really hated the jocks who were handsome guys who were rich. This guy, Muller, has never had sex with a beautiful woman, so he hates Trump with a passion.”

I’ve noticed that Mr. Root often talks about high school. About time you got the fuck over it,  no? Mr. Mueller has a job to do, and I don’t recall him expressing personal feelings about people at all. That would be called professionalism.

“The greatest president in modern history, a man is trying to take him down who is a pervert,” Root added. “Robert Mueller is a pervert. He probably sits home and watches porn. He has probably never had a girl in his whole life, a beautiful woman, so he sits and watches images and then he realizes there is someone like Donald Trump who is living every man’s fantasy … [Mueller] doesn’t even know what sex feels like. Robert Mueller is an ugly lawyer, he’s got nothing going for him.”

Jesus Christ, most 5 year olds are more mature than you are, Mr. Root. The greatest president? Hahahahaha, no. The greatest crook, perhaps.

“Mueller is a little pervert,” Root continued to rant. “Mueller is vicious, Mueller is disgusting, Mueller is a pervert. Can you imagine what he does at home at night? Who knows what he does, watching his computer images of Donald Trump and beautiful women. I can just guess what Mueller is doing in the dark, with the light of the screen glaring on him inside is office at 12 midnight. Quote me, Robert Mueller: You’re a pervert, you’re a loser, you’re ugly, you have never had a beautiful women in your life and you’re jealous of Donald Trump. It is all so clear now.”

I can pretty much guarantee you that whatever Mr. Mueller does in the evenings, it has nothing to do with watching the Tiny Tyrant and women. You, on the other hand, Mr. Root, that I can envision.

“It’s penis envy,” Root declared triumphantly. “Mueller’s is smaller than Trump’s.”

Who is the official penis inspector, and when is the report coming out?

RWW has the story, such as it is.

Comments

  1. says

    Root should have spent 30 seconds skimming Mueller’s Wikipedia entry. He would have found out Mueller was a jock, He was captain of his high school’s lacrosse, hockey, and soccer teams, and won a medal as the school’s top athlete. He played lacrosse while studying at Princeton.

  2. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @Caine:

    I’ve noticed that Mr. Root often talks about high school.

    I’m quite happy to say I don’t know Mr. Root’s work well enough to have made that observation. My condolences.

    @timgueguen

    Nah. He was going to say what he was going to say. If he found out contradictory facts, he still would have said it, and having found the facts first would simply put him in a more uncomfortable position when called on his bullshit. You and I might want to know the facts about something before we write about it. (Or speak about it -- was this youtube or radio or something?) Root? No. I don’t think he has any real interest in verifying facts about, well, anything.

  3. avalus says

    I am sure that penis envy put us on the moon, because JFK wanted the largest phallic objects around. :D /sarcasm

    I wonder when they get to “well Mueller or rather Müller is a german name, so he can not be a real ‘murikkkan patriot and can’t prosecute 45!”

  4. Patricia Phillips says

    Bizarre indeed. I think this rant reveals far, far more than Root ever intended about Root himself…and none of it good.

  5. says

    Mr. Root is rather obsessed with the concept of penis envy. It’s his, erm, one size fits all theory for anyone he doesn’t like.

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