The casual observer might think that years of deregulation pushed by Republicans allowed giant financial institutions to play Russian Roulette with the economy, that decades of tax cuts pushed by Republicans for the rich left our national savings account badly overdrawn and unable to cope with the consequences of massive unemployment, or that Republicans would enrage We the People by forcing us to cover trillions in business losses while profits were kept by the same priveleged few who created the mess. That just goes to show that you, sir or madame, are no Herman Cain!

“Wall Street didn’t create Obama’s policies … You can demonstrate all you want on Wall Street, the problem is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.”

This is just the tip of the iceberg and we owe Cain for pointing it out. Obama may be the most brilliant criminal genuis in history, just consider a few of the amazing jobs the right-wing assures us he has pulled off successfully …

The preterm future President was like an African-American Stewie Griffin, already hard at work planning his rise to world domination while still in utero. Having carefully read the US Constitution smuggled in to him during a routine medical “procedure,” the fetal mastermind persuaded or blackmailed dozens of state officials, doctors, and nurses to flawlessly fake a Hawaiin birth certificate. No wonder he later went into constitutional law, Obama has been studying the founding document since the moment an anti-colonial Kenyan sperm met a nazi-communist egg — and probably even before then.

As a high school student Obama brilliantly hacked the school’s mainframe and changed his grades. Then, most likely using some of the proceeds from his vast drug selling empire, he managed to pay off teachers and college entrance examiners to gain admittance to college with a pocketful of ill-gotten scholarship money. It’s possible in some stubborn cases “Barry,” as he was known on the street, and his gang enforcers pulled out a gat and offered them a deal they couldn’t refuse.

It seems at this point Obama must have hired a ghost student to take his classes and exams, the gruesome fate of that individual will never be known: every record that his ghost writer ever existed has been wiped from the face of the earth. Although all the grades have not been released, they were good enough to graduate. He could have joined the middle class and led an honest life. Instead, Obama became a neighborhood thug, where he pretended to help under privileged people, authoring so-called “tenants rights” documents and helping neighborhood churches. While quietly cementing his ties with the Black Panthers, the Muslim Brotherhood, and other extremist organizations.

Obama was then to buy, or steal, a place at Harvard Law School, no doubt from a more deserving and much whiter student. Using extortion and other tactics honed from years of criminal activity, the rising gangster landed the coveted award of editor for the Harvard Law review. Republican operatives are still unsure how many other students were coerced or killed to make way for this ambitious criminal. His mastery of murder is easily confirmed by the fact that, to date, not one body has been discovered.

As a graduate of the nation’s most prestigious law school, Obama could have landed a six figure job. But his lusty disease for money and power would never be satisfied with peanuts. The 20 to 30 something Obama rose quickly through the ranks of Chicago crime families, until he was able to buy a state senator job. And now, finally, he could set his real plans in motion.

Behind the scenes, from a tiny cluttered office in a Windy City slum and leaving no clues for future investigators to uncover, Obama played congressional committees, CEOs, and Wall Street executives like a piano all through the 90s. There are rumors that CEO after CEO begged for mercy and decency on behalf of the hard working middle-class. Those humane pleas fell on crooked deaf ears. Obama first created and then implemented “laws” that savaged prized banking legislation, laws that had stood strong protecting depositors and investors from crooks and scam artists for 60 years. With no compassion for the millions of lives he would ruin, Obama deregulated the financial industry, clearing the way for a new class of securities he cleverly, innocently named a Credit Default Swap. But that wasn’t all, he also developed international shadowy markets where the instruments could trade in volume, well away from decent prying eyes of law abiding Wall Street deacons. These securities were in fact time-bombs, and the slow fuse was lit by Obama himself.

It’s no coincidence that Republican incumbent Peter Fitzgerald and his Democratic predecessor Carol Moseley Braun chose to not “participate” in the 2004 Illinois Senate election. Like any rational person they chose life and bribes over an unmarked grave and a bag of lime. Nor is it a surprise that Obama won the job running away. Who knows how many votes were extorted or fabricated by Obama’s victims and henchmen, but it was probably in the tens of thousands. Like his personal hero Adolf Hitler, Obama had won national power under the facade of democracy. In the blink of an eye, the world’s greatest criminal mastermind was now an “honorable” sitting US Senator.

Thank the gods that be for Herman Cain’s brilliance and courage. Unlike so many before him, Cain has not wavered from exposing the Truth. Obama authored and managed the catastrophic economic meltdown that put him in the Oval Office, framing an innocent President George Bush and a bevy of conservative policies as the fall guy. Stealing the election with his control of ACORN, unions, and black militants was hardly even necessary. But a super villain like Barack Obama takes no chances.

There is little time, Obama grows more powerful every day. And if we do not stop this genocidal monster in 2012, no matter what the cost, we may have to live under his tyrannical dictatorship for generations to come. You must heed Cain’s warning and march, March Onward Christian Soldiers, away from the compassion and warmth of Wall Street to the cold, evil lair of the Whitehouse! Fear not brave demonstrator, there is safety in numbers. I may not get there with you, my life is already forfeit simply for writing this post. But alas, don’t mourn for me, worry about yourselves. You are the 99%, you are the country’s best hope, and God help America if Barack Obama is not stopped.