Happpy 48th Birthday to me!

Wishing myself a very happy 48th Birthday on planet earth. This has not been the happiest of my birthdays as the past few months have been about healing from loss and fighting hard to not let the haters, who can’t stand BlackGirlMagic, silence my voice at work.

However, I am grateful for life, good health and prosperity. I am proud that in the face of adversities, my crown has not slipped, this queen is still standing strong and proud.

The past year has tested and reminded me of things that have kept me strong, happy and contented over the years. They are also things I will be taking into the next stage of my life. A few of these reminders are-

1- I am my own tribe and there is nothing wrong with this because j am enough.

2- Never sweat the small stuff, life is too short

3- When things gets tough, take a deep breath, adjust my crown and face life head high.

4- Never expect anything from anyone because the things I value most, compassion, empathy, loyalty and honesty, are the things humans find most difficult to give.

5- Continue to be myself wherever I go. My whole self is a gift to anyone lucky enough to be in my presence.

6- Never let the world change my smile or take away my joy. My life is mine to live, not for others to ruin.

7- Remember the loved ones I have lost with happiness because they live on in my heart .Therefore I must make my heart a happy place for them to be.

8- Family are those who love, respect and show me compassion. Never let blood determine who I call family or who stay in my life.

9- Hold my loved ones closer to my heart because the greatest gift of all is unconditional love.

10- Live. Love. Laugh today because tomorrow is never promised.

Thanks to everyone who has enriched my life one way or the other, may we all celebrate many more years of love, happiness and good health.

Christmas, Covid19 and Fatphobia.

Christmas 2020 was all about self-love and selfcare for me. It was a much needed body appreciation day.

With Covid19, working from home, closure of gyms, etc it is tiring to listen to people complain constantly about getting fat. Most often than not, the language used is very fatphobic. “Fat” is used as a dirty word as if getting fat is the worst thing ever!

People never stop to consider the effect of Fatphobia on the mental health of the majority of women and men who do not fit the stereotypes of beauty standards. It was time for me to switch off that societal judgemental voice confronting me from every angle especially since about 5 years ago, I lost almost half my body weight at the gym but gained it all back within the last year.

For me, I know I’m beautiful at whatever size or shape because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and, gawd, how I behold myself! As the saying goes, the woman who does not require the validation of anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.

In this fatphobic society, it is important to practice radical self-love. Love yourself so unconditionally and unapologetically that unsolicited opinions on your body does not matter or count. Your mental health will thank you for it.

Feeling festive and very thankfull for inner peace, contentment and the strenght to love myself unconditionally in a very judgmental society.

it has been a particularly tough year for many, but I’ve got a lot to be thankful for. Spending Xmas alone is not unusual for me. For me, the key is to find these things that make me happy and be self-indulgent. Dressing up just to take pics and dancing are two things that instantly lift mood. Find your happiness withing yourself; the hero lies in you.

Not everyone can have a happy holiday; it has been an especially sad year for some, with many lives lost as the holidays approached. So many grieving mothers, grieving fathers, grieving children, grieving lovers, it is sad.

If you are grieving, I wish you the fortitude to bear the loss and a very splendid support system with people that will not judge you, will hold your hands, listen to you moan and offer you tissues to wipe your tears.

We all cannot be merry this holiday period, please do not feel forced to join in the hilarity if you do not feel up to it. Be strong, for this too shall pass and you shall be happy again.

Pain and pleasures are life’s twin fountains, with our pains; we appreciate more our pleasures when it comes, as it surely will. Happy Holidays to everyone who is up to it and do not forget to put a smile on someone’s face today!

This Xmas, I finally made the best Xmas Turkey ever! My Xmas turkey was so moist, succulent and so full of flavour, I almost cried with joy! It was the first time i got it so right with no but. It was Masterchef perfect! I will be making Turkey stew, Equisi/ Vegetable soup with it and of course reserve some to eat with soaked garri!

My Christmas isn’t complete without my annual Xmas dance. Enjoy!

It’s My Birthday; Time to Shake What My Mama Gave Me!

It’s my birthday and it’s not complete without my annual birthday dance. Every year I do a birthday dance on my birthday, and I enjoy comparing the dance videos to see how far I have come, interesting memories.

It has been a particularly difficult and emotionally tasking year with the sudden loss of my mum. I had to process different emotions in my personal life and confront prevalent social ills in my professional life, especially made difficult as the only black person in an all-white work environment where the words ‘Inclusivity and diversity’ are alien language.

However, despite it all, as I turn 43 today, I feel like a hot pie and the only girl in the world.

This is my first birthday as an orphan and I especially miss my beautiful mum because she would have woken me up with a birthday song and try to sneak in some unsolicited prayers! I miss her so much today. I dedicate this birthday dance to my departed beloved parents. You were my vehicles to this world, and I appreciate it.

Thanks to everyone who touched my life in one way or another and left positive impacts. To these who left only negative memories, may our parts never cross again. Positive vibes only.

Thanks, lovely people for all the birthday greetings and lovely wishes, much appreciated.

Happy Birthday to me…it’s time to shake what my mama gave me!

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Does taking gym selfies or posting several pics on Facebook translates to Narcissism?

When my dear Facebook friend all the way from America sent me a link in my inbox with the message “London, we have a problem.”, I opened the link with a bit of trepidation and was confronted with a shady headline “Study Finds That People Who Post Gym Selfies Have A Psychological Problem “

The article went on to postulate about some dubious research it never linked to. The  article reads

Some people have to let the whole world know that they have been to the gym by means of Facebook posts normally accompanied by a selfie. It turns this could by due to an underlying psychological problem which causes them to become obsessed with taking selfies.

In a study conducted at Brunel University is was discovered that people who constantly brag about fitness tend to show narcissistic traits  – This is a term for the psychological disorder where people gain pleasure from self admiration. This behavior usually results  annoying vein posts such as “sun’s out, guns out” all over your timeline, the intention is to boost their own ego with comments and likes.

 I call bullshit on this. [Read more…]

Baby, You Are Beautiful – Dance Video

Some of us know we are.

Some of us don’t believe we are.

Some of us let society tell us otherwise.

Beauty comes in different colours, shapes and sizes.

Baby, You Are Beautiful.  Snapshot_20160515_252

What makes you beautiful is Not

Because you don’t know you are beautiful,

But because you simply are.

Do you; with or without make-up

Rock you; whatever your body size, shape or ability.

Celebrate your body; even if the society says you shouldn’t.

Flaunt these curves; even if they claim you aren’t beach ready.

Embrace and shower your body with Love.

Cos baby, You are You.

And Baby,

You Are Beautiful.

Background Music by One Direction – What Makes You Beautiful

Snapshot_20160515_176 Snapshot_20160515_88

Five Assumptions We Should Avoid Making

I was working out at my gym when two gym regulars decided to strike up a conversation with me.

Gym regular (Male) – You have lost a lot of weight

Gym regular (Female) -Yeah, I told her so too.

Me – Oh, yeah, thanks, the hard work is showing.

Gym regular (Male) – I am sure your husband will be happy

Me – I don’t have a husband. I am single

Gym Regulars – What, you mean you are single? [Read more…]

Losing weight is not an endorsement or indictment of another woman’s body: Stop the Fatphobia!

I posted some recent pictures of myself on my facebook wall with the following caption:IMG-20150202-WA0002

Dividends of working out at the gym.
I can have a sleepover at my mum’s and not bother to take extra clothing, just so i can walk away with some of her new clothes and of course jewellery. Now, she can’t say, “Yemisi, don’t take it, it is not your size!” lol!
Jacket- My sister’s (Now mine)
Red sweater underneath- My mum’s (Now mine)
Brand new Leggings- My mum’s (Now mine)
Hair – All mine, just nicely retouched for me by my mum.
Winning all round!

Yemmylicious ed

Funny enough, a facebook friend who also identifies as an atheist came on the post thread and left a series of comments. These comments exposed an underlying hatred of plus size women, sexism and showed an endorsement of street harassment , cos well, according to him, women are supposed to provide visual orgasms for strangers on the streets, and you should be ashamed if you are not deemed sexy enough by strangers. BTW, he thinks only outsiders can decide if you are sexy or not.

Anyway, I decided to share these exchanges because, you never know just how many people especially those who claim to be rational thinkers, share these vile opinions. [Read more…]

Fat shaming is ugly and body shaming of any kind is disgusting.

I was sad when a friend posted the excerpts below as her Facebook status update.

 “So ever since I took the final make-or-break decision in 2013 with my conscience to take responsibility for my physical and mental well-being, I have undertaken to attack fat-boosting realities that engage with me. This includes people who are happy to be fat…as I was years back, when I was fooling around with fads and gadgets, without facing the more imperative thing: My FOOD. Being FAT is synonymous with indolence, depression, poverty, avarice, corruption, lethargy to Good, selfishness…in one word – Corruption.”

This is so wrong and sad on so many levels.

The fact that the writer has decided to take responsibility for her weight issues is good, but that is a personal decision, not a public decree. As she mentioned, it took her many years to get to that stage and only accepted this as her truth in 2013. So why project YOUR truth and body issues on others? [Read more…]