I am not one for New Year resolutions, but I do believe in learning from the lessons of the previous year to make the New Year a better year.

They say if life serves you lemons, make lemonades. Well, while I appreciate this point of view, I think in 2013, I tried to apply it to something that it really should not apply to; Friends.

If life serves you lemons as friends, if you don’t like lemons, do not attempt to make lemonades of these friends. It never works out. If you don’t like lemons, stay the heck away from lemons. If they jump on your laps, put them in their place, locked in the cupboard or better still, bin them.

The truth is, I am very allergic to ignorance, especially homophobic, superstitious ignorance. I also hate hypocrisy with a passion. Therefore, when people I care about exhibit such traits, I have this piercing feeling in my heart and a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Unfortunately, 2013 brought too much of these ‘piercing and sinking’ feeling, caused by people I care about.  Wilful ignorance makes me want to vomit and hypocrisy painfully pierces my heart.

In 2013, I saw at such horrifying magnitude, hypocrisy from individuals and organizations I care or used to care about. This is why my New Year resolution is to understand that I cannot substitute my consciousness for the consciousness of others.

This does not mean I will lower my standards to accommodate anyone in my life. What it means is, I will try not to be so horrified at the ignorance and hypocrisy proudly exhibited by many. So this year, to spare me that piercing heart and sinking feeling, I am staying very much away from those that elicit such feelings in me.

One big lesson I am taking from 2013 is not to lower my standard just because I am told I need to be more social. If I don’t like you, it is not because I am anti-social, it is because I don’t like what you stand for or represent.

If as a friend, I pointed out a sexist, homophobic or unfeminist thing you said or posted, it is not because I am a fun-ruiner or a ‘know it all’; it is because I thought you could be a better person, as we all could learn from one another. Believe me, it is not worth holding a secret meeting just to bash me.

The fact that I have low tolerance for self-inflicted ignorance does not make me aggressive or confrontational; it only means I have a quick reaction to bullshit. BTW, ‘Aggressive’ or ‘Confrontational’ does not mean the same thing as Assertive, so stop confusing the two when talking about me.

My New Year resolution is to Never apologize for having high standards, People who really want to be in my  life will rise up to meet them.

Also, the way you treat yourself sets the standard for how you want to be treated.

• Don’t lower your standard because you want to be liked by the majority.

• Don’t lower your standard because you are homeless or unemployed.

• Don’t let anyone make you feel worthless because your bank account is not as buoyant as it used to be.

• Friends who look down on you in your time of need do not deserve to be in your life when things are rosy, or ever!

• Don’t settle for anything less than the dignity and respect of your person, actually it is your inalienable human right, assert it.

 Happy New Year everyone!